Oh No, All Michigan GOP Gov. Candidates Arrested Capitol Rioters, Frauders, Or Just Morons

[Nevilledog]

Link to tweet

https://www.wonkette.com/-2657484506

Pour one out for the Michigan GOP, y'all, because it is just having a hard time getting to the finish line with an actual eligible living human breathing nominee for the position of governor.

Today, Ryan D. Kelley, the leading frontrunner favorite guy for the nod, was arrested and had his house raided on charges related to how he allegedly did a wee spot of terrorist-ing at the US Capitol on January 6. Just misdemeanor stuff, no big, just four itsy bitsy charges. If he's convicted, he might have to go to jail for a year.

He expressed regret as he pulled out of the race for haha just kidding no he didn't pull out, Jesus shit, we bet he gets a bump in the polls from this.

But look, it's fine. He started his campaign saying the Capitol attack where he, per the Washington Post, "waved on mob" and "tore inauguration scaffolding," was an "energizing event." According to the indictment, he was kind of one of the guys telling the other rioters where to go. “As far as going through any barricades, or doing anything like that, I never took part in any forceful anything,” he told MLive back in March of 2021. "Once things started getting crazy, I left."

All of this would just be, again, a wee spot of bother, if it weren't for how everything has been such a shitshow in the GOP primary for Michigan governor. Last month, half of the candidates the primary — FIVE! — got kicked out of the primary because their nominating petitions were full of bullshit signatures. Two of them — James Craig, the former Detroit chief of police, and Perry Johnson, who is a man of business — were leading the race. Just thousands and thousands of fuckin' fraud signatures, because these goddamn fools can't even play fair when they're running against each other.

*snip*

[WestMichRad]

1. Six down (I hope!), four to go!

What a bunch of incompetent yahoos, these Repub gubernatorial candidates. And one of them is actually gonna win the nomination and be on the ballot in November. Oy.

Go Gretchen Whitmer!!