Putin's minions collect his poo when he's out of the country, and ship it back to Russia

[Ocelot II]

in a special suitcase. He also has his own private portable toilet. "If Putin drinks from a glass, the guards will make sure that the glass does not disappear. It is carefully washed and all traces are removed or the glass is removed. The same goes for fingerprints. Everything Putin takes on is monitored and handled. The president's biological traces are to be regarded as state secrets." They want to be sure nobody can analyze his DNA.

https://www.aftenposten.no/verden/i/7d83po/eget-baerbart-toalett-og-alt-han-tar-i-blir-oedelagt-slik-passer-russerne-paa-putins-dna Chrome's auto-translation of the article is a little wonky but the weirdness shines through.

[C_U_L8R]

1. All the king's horses and all the king's men

can't keep Pootin's cancer from eating him alive. Tick tock, Vlad.

[Emile]

2. Are you shitting me!

[waddirum]

4. "Stool Pidgeon" is not a job title...

….. that I would ever want.

[TomSlick]

9. My response exactly.

[LetMyPeopleVote]

3. Putin is very sick in more ways than one

[Tomconroy]

5. "What did you do during the War daddy?"

[Disaffected]

6. Actually that's not an uncommon practice.

One's ass apples can tell a lot about state of health as well as a DNA analysis.

[Baitball Blogger]

7. Makes sense. So no one can diagnose his illness.

[diane in sf]

8. Shrub did the same thing.

[Azathoth]

10. The Secret Service does the same for US presidents nt

[Cyrano]

11. This will be the sole content of the "Trump Presidential Library."

[Karma13612]

12. Hopefully in a tin

I’ve called him “Poo in a tin” for years.


Hiding his DNA, That is some serious Howard Hughes level stuff.

Oh!!! I just read that that’s routine for the US Presidents as well? Oh, OK.

But he’s STILL just Poo in a tin.

[ecstatic]

13. His over the top paranoia gives a clue of what he is capable of.

Any leaders near him might need to take the same precautions.

[NCLefty]

14. I'd be quite surprised if we didn't get his DNA long ago.

[sir pball]

15. Well duh - "Stalin 'used secret laboratory to analyse Mao's excrement'"

Pootie learned a lot from Ol' Joe, doesn't want to be on the receiving end of any of those tricks.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-35427926

[LAS14]

16. Kick