Consequences are Good, Actually. Stop coddling boys who hurt girls.

[Nevilledog]

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This is how backlash is brewed—not by raving misogynists on Reddit, but by established reporters and flashy magazine covers.

Me on the shitty NY Mag piece:

jessica.substack.com
Consequences are Good, Actually
Stop coddling boys who hurt girls
12:15 PM · Jun 21, 2022

https://jessica.substack.com/p/consequences-are-good-actually

*snip*

New York Magazine’s “Canceled at 17”—complete with a cover commissioned from celebrity artist KAWS—runs with the ominous subhead, “When kids make mistakes, and classmates never forgive.” Yes, it’s yet another missive on ‘cancel culture’. And like so many of its predecessors, the piece wants us to believe that #MeToo and women coming forward about sexual assault and harassment have gone too far.

What makes this article special, though, is that it’s a perfect example of how sexism and mainstream media collide and collude to convince Americans that abusive men are the real victims. And in a moment when misogynist backlash is on an upswing, pieces like this are more dangerous than ever.

Author Liz Weil, we’re told, has investigated the “fallout” at an American high school after a list of boys “to watch out for” was posted on a bathroom wall. Weil tells the story of one of those boys, who she pseudonymously calls Diego.

It takes Weil twelve paragraphs to tell us what, exactly, Diego has done—but not before she calls him “enormously appealing” with “dark, goofy, and sad” eyes; “surprisingly sweet and funny”; a “fan of Nivea deodorant, Air Jordans, and Taylor Swift” who “hangs out in skateparks”; and a kid who made a “stupid mistake.”

And what was the mistake that this charming, goofy boy made? He shared nude pictures of his girlfriend without her consent, something that is not actually a ‘mistake’ at all, but a crime.

*snip*

[WhiskeyGrinder]

1. Also, he wasn't canceled.

He had a shitty high school experience, went to four proms and is going to college where, if he keeps his act together, people will never know this happened.

[Nevilledog]

2. Exactly!

[IngridsLittleAngel]

3. We coddle too many wrongs

We coddle boys who hurt girls. It makes them think they can continue to do so, so they continue to do so.

We coddle bigots. It makes them think they can spew their hatred publicly, and even act upon it.

We coddle Republicans when they lose elections. It makes them think their voice matters more than Democrats, and leads to acts like January 6.

For too many years, we've been a country that thinks it needs to "get tough" on victims and people who've done nothing wrong and people who express concern about what's going on around them. "Bullying is a part of life. Get over it." "Maybe if you hadn't done this, that wouldn't have happened..." And the like.

Then we take the wrong who need to face consequences and... coddle them. "They just made a mistake!" Right. Because revenge porn or sexual assault or hate crimes or attempting to overthrow the government? Why, just mistakes - like locking your keys in the car or forgetting to close the fridge or spilling the sugar.

[fierywoman]

4. ...And then we get Kavanaugh on the Supreme Court.

[AwakeAtLast]

5. What about all the lists

Of "slutty" HS girls made by HS boys? That is far more common and given a pass.

Poor baby!