Go on The Offensive With the Transphobes:

[Frostlight]

I've spent the better part of 2 decades dealing directly with these people. I have long come to understand exactly how they think, why they are what they are, and, most importantly, what their weaknesses are. I've compiled quite a bit of research-based, well-founded opinion and perspective on this here; https://bsbuzzsaw.com/ for anyone who may want to find any insights they might not have already discovered.

With the transphobes; their fear comes from deep psychological insecurities that can very much be exploited... and absolutely should be. While I've written an entire article addressing their neurotic obsession with trans kids, the distilled-down message is something that we should bludgeon them with at every opportunity. Naturally, only do this if you're comfortable doing so, but it needs to be our weapon against their projection. Obviously many of us have been doing this already, but we need to ramp it up. I'll be happy to discuss the reasons and intricacies in the comments.

In every instance of a trans/homophobe conflating transgenderism or anything LGBTQ+ with 'sex' especially when it comes to trans youth, point out this:

When *I* see a child dressing up and wearing make up, I see a child exploring their world and themselves. When YOU see a little boy putting on dresses and makeup, the FIRST thing you think of is 'sex'. Why is that?

https://bsbuzzsaw.com/2019/03/13/its-raining-snowflakes/

I know how adversarial and inflammatory that sounds, but out of all the many arguments and points I've developed to deal with these people, this one seems to have the most devastating impact on many of them. For just a split second, at least, all of their own motives are reflected back at them. NONE of them, no matter how much derision or deflection they resort to, no matter what they say after that, can hide the pang of self-loathing it forces them, for at least a moment, to feel.

DO this at every opportunity, because it forces them to face something about themselves EVERY time. And it's something they don't like. It's the closest I've ever come to getting them to introspect in earnest, and it works... because it's a truth that strikes deep into them.

[vercetti2021]

1. That is something I noticed too

Anytime the question of someones orientation. First thing that hits a dumbass conservatives mind is. SEX SEX OMG SEX! Its the same for adults. Like its always I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO IN THE BEDROOM!!!!! Like holy shit get a fucking grip. I start to believe they are the ones that are obsessed with the idea of sex and children. They use it against us all the time like omg why do we need to teach kids about sex? Let kids be kids! Well important part of life is that kids grow up into teens, sometimes they are LGBTQIA+ And well...they are attracted to either both sex or same sex. But it doesn't have anything to do with sex...it's just the gender the prefer.

Conservatives are super sex obsessed when it comes to children. Ask Matt Gaetz.

[Hugh_Lebowski]

7. I have a theory that a lot of these people, esp. the men, are unsatisfied with their sex lives

And they think gay/trans people have more enjoyable sex lives than them, and they don't like it.

I bet a lot of them watch gay porn, find it exciting, and hate themselves for it, because it's so engrained in them that it's 'wrong'. So they lash out against everything 'gay', seeing even the very existence of gay and trans (who they assume are gay by their definition i.e. probably most trans women have sex with men ... not necessarily true but I'm sure they think that) people as threatening. Even more so when transgenderism and/or same-sex relations are celebrated, like with 'Pride' events and 'Hollywood glorifying the lifestyle'.

Deep down, I personally speculate that a lot of the most homo/transphobic people ... are jealous, and self-loathing.

[vercetti2021]

8. I'd be careful

I got my head bitten off yesterday for suggesting that most these angry men were so far in the closet they reached Narnia. I do believe most are very in the closet and ashamed. I'm not gonna change my mind on it. Or these men will beat it to transwomen. And then hate themselves so much for it.

I have a virtual non sex life but never did I blame anyone. I figured out I'm asexual really when it comes to sex. They need to figure out their shit

[Hugh_Lebowski]

11. I'm not necessarily saying they're 'in the closet' like I'm not saying 'they're actually gay'

I'm like ... (apologize in advance if TMI) I've been with guys over my lifetime. Far more women, but some guys. My 'viewing' tastes tend to shuffle, most times I like watching hetero, but I'll flip to the gay channel (or the trans channel) from time to time. I think most sex is hot, I don't care the genders involved.

But I cannot imagine LOVING ... another male. A trans-girl? Maybe, but I'm a classic example of hetero-flexible. I don't say 'Bi' because that's not quite right to me. Never had a romantic attraction to a male. Doesn't mean I wouldn't get down with one from time to time.

Thing is, I've never felt ashamed that this is 'how I am'. And part of that I'm sure is because I was raised by liberal parents, in the SF Bay Area. I also am not prone to binary thinking, which conservatives are wired for, IMHO. Right/wrong, good/evil, etc.

I imagine a great many of the extreme homo/trans phobes of the world are similar to me, but their lineage and conservative/religious upbringing leads them to feel great shame about it ... in a way I simply do not, being a liberal, raised by liberals, in a liberal area.

Being willing, and even having sex, with your same gender is not what makes you 'gay'. Gay means you fall in love with your own gender, exclusively. I'm not saying that about these phobic types. But THEY think their own interest in gay sex means they're gay (I don't think that's necessarily true obvs), and they hate it, and by extension, gay people.

[Frostlight]

17. Y'all gave that nail a cranial fracture. n/t

[Hugh_Lebowski]

19. Another theory I have about the cons is that they're wired to find external loci of control

This is why they so easily buy into grand conspiracy theories, and other magical thinking such as a Daddy in the Sky ... controlling things on Earth.

So, those of them who have the sort of shame I'm talking about above? They look for someone to BLAME for it.

And this, in turn, is why they're so obsessed with 'grooming' and 'pedophile gays' and all that rot.

It's instinctual to them to find an external source to be the cause of their disconcerting emotions. I.E. it's not ME, it's THEM kinda thinking.

IOW, they imagine they were 'indoctrinated' to 'be this way' themselves.

By the gays, of course

[Frostlight]

20. Oh, you might not realize how close to the bull's eye you are.

Except that it's more than mere 'indoctrination'.

https://bsbuzzsaw.com/2022/03/06/the-reason-conservatives-have-never-won-a-culture-war-and-never-will/

It's not exactly the same thing, but transference is a major mechanism for them.

[Hugh_Lebowski]

21. Lol, yeah, this writer has many of my same theories, some of which I mention here often

At the root of what he's saying is ... con vs. liberal is largely genetic.

A belief I also share.

I also think in some strange way, liberals are more closely related to bonobo apes, and conservatives more closely related to chimpanzees. We know these two species are our closest cousins, and if you look at how each species 'society' is set up and general behavior ... there's a lot of trippy parallels to left vs. right in human society.

[Sympthsical]

15. You got your head bitten off because it's homophobic

And you're doubling down on it.

Again.

Ignoring it when gay people tell you this is certainly . . . a choice, all things given.

[vercetti2021]

26. Okay

DM and I really would love you to educate me on this. Maybe it's just my own way of thinking. I'm not trying to be a homophobic person. I do not wanna be that self hating type

[Amaryllis]

31. Love this: so far in the closet they reached Narnia

[spinbaby]

2. Thank you for this

As the auntie of a trans woman, I’m feeling very scared and protective about all the crap that’s going on now.

[gay texan]

3. Lovely writing, welcome to DU BTW!

There is another aspect to all of this that seems to get missed, and observation i've made over the years:

Conservatives LOVE to have power over people. It's all quasi-bibically justified bullying.

[yardwork]

4. That's a great suggestion. It's a simple question.

Thank you.

[EYESORE 9001]

5. I have used a similar tactic against homophobia for a long time

It once worked so effectively that I never heard another utterance from this person.

I’ll call him ‘Bob.’

Bob was a loudmouthed bully whose favored tactic was accusing men in his presence of s***ing d***s. Having heard enough of this, I observed, ‘yunno, Bob, I’ve never heard anyone talk about s***ing d***s as much as you do. How often would you say that you think about s***ing d***s on a typical day? Do you dream about peoples s***ing d***s at night?’ He tried to shrug it off, accused me of wanting to s*** d***s, threatened violence against me, but the chuckles from others gave assurance that everyone had had enough of Bob’s shit too. As I said, I never heard that phrase from him again.

[Frostlight]

6. They tell on themselves ALL the time. They can't help it.

Make NO apologies for using it against them.

It's the very same with all bigots of every stripe.

[Roisin Ni Fiachra]

9. I find it extremely difficult to be that gracious, but I'll give it a try.

Telling them to go back to hell, and calling them resurrected Nazi demon pigs, probably isn't changing any hearts and minds.

[Frostlight]

12. It is a far more painful thing for them to see a glimpse of what they truly are. n/t

[IronLionZion]

10. They are obsessed with rape, abuse, trafficking, and other predatory behavior

and conservatives keep getting arrested for predatory behavior. hmmm.... there seems to be a connection.

[Bernardo de La Paz]

13. Your bolded paragraph puts the issue in dramatic and true terms. . . . nt

[dlk]

14. Too many Republicans are obsessed with everyone else's sex lives and bathroom habits

It’s more than a little perverted.

[Frostlight]

16. Never miss an opportunity to point that out to them.

(omg... DU's emojis haven't changed in 15 years...)

[dlk]

25. Yes

[CaptainTruth]

18. I've asked "Why do you spend so much time thinking about children's genitals?"

"It's not normal for an adult like you to be so obsessed with children & sex, you should really talk to a professional about it."

This is of course in the context of children & gender issues.

[Initech]

22. Fundamentalist Christians and Fox News ruin everything.

And it's like every single subject is taboo for them or it's not taboo enough. I had to deal with a transphobic douchebag at a wedding I was at and it wasn't pretty or fun, the guy was completely obnoxious and belligerent the whole time. But these assholes are everywhere.

I'd hate to be a kid of a Fox loving parent these days. They have no original thoughts of their own, and everything is about sex. Not to mention, Fox is turning up the hate and violence against LGBT people way past 11. The reason I bring up Fox News is because they have no solutions. Their only solutions are outrage and chaos, which means division. Because having an actual "United States" would be bad for ratings.

[Johnny2X2X]

23. "Grooming" is outrageous!

Dems need to call this out every chance they get, do not let them use this term, they're equating sexuality with child sex abuse. It cannot be allowed to stand even once.

[Frostlight]

24. Here, share this:

?w=896

[IngridsLittleAngel]

28. Yes they do. And should've been called out a long time ago

Not only is "groomers" factually wrong and outrageous, but morally wrong and dangerous. The reich-wing media and the domestic terrorist groups are now using this as an excuse to target, harass, threaten and eventually harm LGBTQ's, crossdressers and even our allies.

It cannot be allowed to stand. It never should've been allowed to stand.

[IngridsLittleAngel]

27. That's an angle I hadn't thought of... And I should have

Like you, I am in agreement that we do need to go on the offensive with transphobes and homophobes - or if we do wind up on the "defensive", to be even louder than them when calling out their bullshit and presenting the facts. One thing's for sure: Sitting here quietly while they rant and rave and scream isn't the answer. It never has been. It just once again allows them to frame the narrative. It's a lot easier for people to believe lies when the liar repeats the lies and does so loudly. They did it with Iraq. They did it over "birth certificates" and "Hillary's emails." They're doing it now with "the steal" and trans people.

Shame on me, though, for not thinking of throwing the whole sex angle right back at them. Because you're right, you're absolutely right. They're obsessed with sex and thinking about it.

They thought marriage equality was about sex. Their whole war on drag queens are fueled by their ignorant assumption that they dress up to have sex. Trans women? Yep, more sex. Trans bathroom issues? They think we want to put on a dress and have sex with women in the restroom. Which... ewww... Come the fuck on. When I have to use a public restroom, I want to go in, pee, wash my hands and get the hell out as fast as I can. The last thing on my mind is "sexy time."

I've also noticed that the damned sex fixation with transphobes is always about trans women. Never men. Never do they ask trans men or female crossdressers "What? Do you put on that suit to have sex?" No one brought up sex the times Madonna wore a suit (probably being the only time ever no one has mentioned sex where she's concerned.) No one questioned whether Lady Gaga has sex as Jo Calderone. No one pearl-clutches over "'women' in suits going into the men's room to have sex."

No. It's just trans women, and people who crossdress as women. Meaning as usual, it's the QOP's ugly mix of transphobia, homophobia and misogyny.

It does leave you wondering where their mind is. Not just with adults but kids, considering all they seem to do anymore when they see a crossdresser is "They want to pervert kids!"

[Frostlight]

29. Call them 'Conformists'...

Because that's what they really are. They believe that everyone should fit into their narrow standard of what is 'normal', and we should incessantly point that out to them.

[IngridsLittleAngel]

30. That's basically right

They are obsessed with conforming and being seen as "normal." But it goes further - they expect everyone else to conform to them, and fit into their narrow view of the world.

[Amaryllis]

32. Couldnt find this that you referred to:

"I've compiled quite a bit of research-based, well-founded opinion and perspective on this here; https://bsbuzzsaw.com/ for anyone who may want to find any insights they might not have already discovered. "
It just goes to the main BuzzFeed site?

[Frostlight]

33. When I click the link, it goes to the BSBuzzsaw.

Did you click the link? It's not 'Buzzfeed'.

Just type "bsbuzzsaw" in your search bar.