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Frostlight

(90 posts)
Thu Jun 23, 2022, 09:40 AM Jun 2022

Man Experiences Untreatable Growth after Getting Vaccine

Man Experiences Untreatable Growth after Getting Vaccine



Westshire, Illinois.
Ida Noe, Buzzsaw Correspondent

Larry Haskins, 34; a small business owner in Westshire, had grave misgivings about the COVID vaccines since their introduction in 2020. As a research hobbyist, he managed to find a great deal of information confirming what so many people also sought to believe; that the vaccines posed a myriad of undetermined threats to the health of those who were subjected to them.
Said Haskins, “I saw Dr. Fauci and so many other ‘experts’ dispensing complicated nonsense and realized that if they were so smart, then why did nothing they say make any sense to myself or any other people who can do basic research?”.
It was a fair question. Haskins displayed a number of links on his phone he says that he used to reference when confronted by what he called ‘maskers’, ‘sheep’, and ‘vaxxers’. They ran the gamut from Youtube videos of fully licensed podiatrists to outlets such as OAN, Newsmax, and even Tucker Carlson of Fox News. With such an arsenal nescient information, it’s easy to understand how any outcome-focused skeptic would have reason to resist the direction of what Haskins referred to as ‘glorified interns’.

But when his wife, Martha, gave birth to their son, Brandon, on December 17th of last year, his outlook would soon change. Brandon was born with a PID or ‘Primary Immuno-Deficiency’ discovered by the doctors within hours of Brandon’s birth. The doctors told the Haskins that the newborn could go home, but only after treatment and certain conditions were met.

“My wife is a school teacher, so she was forced into getting the vaccine herself.”, said Haskins, “The doctors all said that the baby would have to remain in the hospital under observation until they gave the okay to let him come home, but they said they wouldn’t let him go to a home where anyone was unvaccinated.”
Haskins, who said he passed a high school science class once, was torn. He said that he did his research and determined that the COVID vaccine was potentially more lethal than COVID itself. He cited an article from a website ‘Pajamamedia.net’ that quoted a bona-fide cousin of an optometrist who claimed that the re-written DNA from the mRNA vaccines caused some people very strange growths. Despite the risk, Haskins decided to get the vaccine. A week later the Haskins were able to take their son home.

But, only days after getting him home, Haskins began to feel something strange. “I didn’t know how to describe it, but I knew something was wrong. I felt different, like there was something happening inside me.” He couldn’t point to where the sensation was coming from, but he said it was “Like a feeling in my gut that something was there that wasn’t before.”
He said that he started behaving differently. “I felt nervous. I started using turn signals more often and driving more carefully. I felt uncomfortable in ways I’d never felt before.”
He explained how he started to say ‘Thank you’ to the baristas when he bought coffee and ‘excuse me’ when he bumped into someone, but, he said, it was after one particular incident that he decided he needed to seek medical attention.
“I gave all of my employees a $2 per hour raise. That’s when I knew something was wrong.”

This correspondent made contact, with Haskins’ permission, to talk to one of his employees. Leeroy Jenkins, 24, had worked for Haskins for nearly a year.
“The boss, I mean ‘Mr. Haskins’, we all thought he was, y’know… a little tight. Like always pinching every penny, monitoring our breaks closely, never putting enough people on and still expecting us to get it done, you know. But after the baby, he just kinda changed.”

The physicians ran a battery of tests… and found nothing. After a few weeks of appointments, he was referred to a neuropsychiatrist, Dr. Alyssa Vaunts, who put Haskins through an fMRI, a ‘functional magnetic resonance imager’ to check his brain and had him take a number of cognitive tests.
“When I got the call, I was ready for the worst.”
Holding his wife’s hand, he listened to Dr. Vaunts’ prognosis.
“She told me that after all of the tests, she had only one possible explanation. She told me she’d never personally seen this happen to anyone, but had read about it in medical journals. She said…”, Haskins voice quavered, “…That I’d grown a conscience.”
“My wife broke down in tears as I told her the news.”

According to Dr. Vaunt, Mr. Haskill’s growth had no treatment options and would mean that he might start caring enough about the people around him to keep from infecting people… that he would likely start wearing masks of his own volition in public. She told him that he’d likely experience a change not only in the way he treated people around him, but in how he felt about ‘different’ people.
Haskins confirmed this; “Two months ago, I could have told you that same sex marriage was destroying everything, but now… now I can’t think of a single thing that they’re really doing to hurt anyone.”
He lamented that he no longer felt that immigrants ‘of color’ posed any threat to the nation and that being a country as great as we are, we should help people. He said that he started to understand the messages his pastor gave at church.

“I don’t know how I’m going to get through this, but so long as I have Martha and Brandon, I’m sure we’ll make it.” Sitting across the kitchen table from me, Haskins picked up the remote and turned off Fox News. “I just can’t anymore.”

The future for Larry Haskins may be uncertain, but for those around him, his wife, Martha, said, “It may just be a little brighter.”


https://bsbuzzsaw.com/2022/01/31/man-experiences-untreatable-growth-after-getting-vaccine/
8 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Man Experiences Untreatable Growth after Getting Vaccine (Original Post) Frostlight Jun 2022 OP
I thought this was going be one of those "Do you have a small ..nis ?" ads. CentralMass Jun 2022 #1
BWHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! OMG! I WISH that we did that! Frostlight Jun 2022 #3
Brilliant Jerry2144 Jun 2022 #2
He employs Leeroy Jenkins? gratuitous Jun 2022 #4
Yeah, that was very much on purpose. Frostlight Jun 2022 #6
At least he has chicken. nt RandiFan1290 Jun 2022 #8
Brandon? Wednesdays Jun 2022 #5
I love Easter Eggs in satire. n/t Frostlight Jun 2022 #7
 

Frostlight

(90 posts)
3. BWHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! OMG! I WISH that we did that!
Thu Jun 23, 2022, 09:56 AM
Jun 2022

Sure, more conservatives would still be alive... and that's okay because civilized people don't like winning from their opponent's demise. But SO MANY people could have been saved if conservatives believed the vaccine 'enhanced' their little friend.

Ah, missed opportunities. You should really forward this suggestion to the CDC for the next time we have to beat off a pandemic.

gratuitous

(82,849 posts)
4. He employs Leeroy Jenkins?
Thu Jun 23, 2022, 10:53 AM
Jun 2022

I guess it's only fair to give him a $2 bump in his hourly pay. But Leeroy is still on thin ice after this escapade:

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