Remembering this song today.

[wnylib]

[genxlib]

1. By a Canadian

Oddly fitting

[wnylib]

2. Regardless of where she was from, the song

has universal appeal for all women.

[genxlib]

3. I'm not disagreeing

Just commenting that it seems apropos that a sense of empowerment has to come from an external source these days because women are getting severely undercut at home.

I actually have a story about this song that proves I was a little shit as a teenager. Growing up in Jacksonville Florida, the local professional soccer team had concerts after many games. One of them was Helen Ready. My brother and I went to the game and stayed around for the concert. We were only minorly interested so we went to the very top row of the far end of the stadium 50 yards from any other people. As this song played, he and I were belting out Macho Man at the top of our lungs. We were young and stupid and thought we were being funny. Joke was on us when considering the song... Like I said, it was shitty. I'm not proud. I outgrew that town and have not been back.

[wnylib]

4. I have a story about this song, too.

When it came out, I was 24 and getting out of a very violent, abusive marriage. There were no shelters for women then.

But there were a few people who understood. One was a co-worker, a woman a couple years older than me who had also got out of an abusive marriage. She allowed me to move in with her. It helped that she had a very protective German shepherd and the guy next door to us had 3 dobermans and was sympathetic to my situation.

After I moved out, my soon to be ex stalked me, threatened to kill me, and tried to a few times. One of those times, my co-worker/housemate foiled him by showing up with her dog. Another time, the next door neighbor arrived just in time with his dogs.

During that time, my estranged husband raped me and I got pregnant. I considered abortion, but then miscarried (due to stress, I suspect). My attorney told me there was nothing I could do about the rape because we were still technically, legally married. He said that, legally, a man could not rape his wife.

My attorney did not believe my claim of abuse initially and thought I was just making it up to get out of the marriage (no fault divorce did not exist then). But he understood when I gave him a record of emergency room care after I had been stabbed (from before I left my husband), along with the police follow up report. The attorney got a taste of my situation when my husband showed up for the divorce hearing even though he had not filed to contest it. Throughout the hearing, my almost ex at the time made gestures, grunts, and interrupting comments intended to intimidate me from speaking. Finally, my attorney threatened him with contempt and jail if he made another sound.

On the steps of the courthouse after the hearing, my almost ex told me that if he could not have me, nobody could. He vowed to kill me some day, no matter how long it took or where I went. Even after I remarried and moved out of state, friends contacted us to warn us that my ex was asking around to find out where I was. But nobody would tell him.

Throughout all of this, that song became my theme. It gave me courage to keep going, to keep fighting back for my right to dignity and safety.

[genxlib]

5. That is a terrible story

And you are a remarkable person for making it through the other side.

I’m sorry if I seemed at all flippant or dismissive.

My anger today has been expressing itself in strange ways. I apologize if it hurt you in any way.

[wnylib]

6. Thanks. It was many years ago.

I would not have made it without help from some very good people that I was fortunate to know.

Some women are not so fortunate.

But, what made me think about it today was the overturning of Roe. I remember my desperation and despair at finding out I was pregnant, which would have tied me to that man forever through visitations and custody fights. I was determined to have an abortion and was relieved and grateful when I miscarried. So I fully understand the need for women to have that option.

I know that it sounds strange, but there were some moments during that period that, with the distance of time, I can actually laugh at today because they were so bizarre, although not funny when they happened. Like the time when I tried living alone in my own place, but stayed overnight with friends on the night of Valentine's Day. I had refused to see my husband that day and was afraid of his reaction. It was an unplanned overnight, so in the morning, my friend asked her husband to follow me to my place and stay until I changed and left for work in case my husband was stalking my apartment.

So her husband sat in my living room while I went into the bathroom to shower. Just when I was stripped down to my underwear, my husband barged in, breaking the chain lock on the apartment door. Forgetting that I was in my underwear, I rushed out to the living room where my husband was outraged to find a man sitting in a chair.

Meantime, the building manager, whose apartment had a common wall with mine, heard the ruckus and came over with her 4 teenage sons who threw my husband out. As I stood there among the 4 boys, apartment manager, and my friend's husband, the friend's husband said in a quiet, understated tone, that maybe I should put on a robe. Only then did I become conscious of not being fully dressed.

(When I got to work and told my co-worker what had happened, she said that I should move back in with her, which I did.)