If you're a woman and a doctor refuses a tubal ligation, get another doctor.

[CousinIT]

https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/18979343/never-wanted-kids-tubes-tied-doctors-refused/

FROM ME:

I know of someone who had THIS SAME EXPERIENCE in the 1980s. She is in her 60s now and had her tubal ligation in her 20s - ONLY after arguing with her doctor and getting the same bullshit excuses this article details - he finally relented. Had he not done the procedure, she'd have found a doctor who would. She knew from a young age she DID NOT want kids. She had been married, on the pill, and smoking for a few years (being on BC pills + smoking is DANGEROUS) and divorced, but never had kids because she didn't want any. She quit smoking a few years later but would have been stuck on the damn pills for the rest of her pre-menopausal life without the tubal ligation. Doctors told her that her 'purpose in life' was to breed babies and be a mother. Same as in this article. I remember her being LIVID about that condescending bullshit. He told her she'd "change her mind" - all the same crap OB-GYNs are still spouting at women today who choose to remain childless hear from them when requesting a tubal ligation.

I'm telling you if you're a woman or know one who who either doesn't want more children or doesn't want any at all, NEVER. TAKE. NO. FOR. AN. ANSWER. Nobody, nowhere, no way, at no time under any circumstance has any business making this decision for you. NOBODY. You must INSIST that you get this surgery if this is what you want.

Honestly, women need to start saying "NO" to all this bullshit and STOP taking "NO" for an answer. This is the ONLY way to take and keep control of your body, your life, your financial health, your career. Nobody else should have a say.

_ _ _ _ _

FROM THE ARTICLE:

DESPITE knowing she doesn’t want children her entire life, TikToker Olivia Downs says she was denied tubal ligation when she asked her doctor for this surgery.

When asking to get her tubes tied, Olivia Downs, 22, says that her doctor refused and instead argued that she may change her mind and so shouldn’t have something so permanent done.

Hi Mrs gynaecologist my name is Olivia,” she begins the video, “I never want children, I’ve had this made up in my mind since I was old enough to think of the concept, can I please have my tubes tied?”

She then explains that she was then told that no she couldn’t get her tubes tied, as this was permanent.

When she said that she knew it was permanent but still wanted to get this done, Olivia says she was then told “well you might meet Mr Right and change your mind.”

“No, that’s not in my plan,” Olivia argues, “it’s not in my five-year plan, it’s not in my ten-year plan, my 50-year plan, I don’t want that.”

However, the doctor was still adamant that she might change her mind in a few years and instead gave her a pamphlet about getting an IUD.

. . .

[Freddie]

1. There is a list being shared

Of doctors in PA who will do a tubal with no hoops to go through. We’re going to see more of this.
This makes me livid. Yet again with ignoring what women want with their bodies. If they’re going to take away our right to end a pregnancy at least give us the means to prevent one without the second-guessing!

[CousinIT]

2. I hope there are a LOT of such lists!

Unbelievable that doctors are still pushing the same bullshit excuses now as in the 1980s. Ugh. Women shouldn't have to fight with doctors like this to take control of their own reproductive lives. Doctors should be there as advisors - talk about all the options, pros and cons, risks, etc and let HER choose then support her, not spout patriarchal bullshit at her and treat her like some child that doesn't know what she wants. So damn condescending and insulting.

[Freddie]

5. Plus I know several childless men who've had vasectomies

Without a doubt they were not even questioned.

[nitpicker]

10. I went thru that s*** in the 1980s

No one would treat me, even with an apparent genetic condition, in the 1980s.

Finally, after 35+ years, the production line shut off.

BUT in the meantime, lots of pads, lots of worry, lots of preventative measures.

[CousinIT]

11. OMG. I'm so sorry you had to go through all that shit! Needlessly.

Unfreakingbelievable!

[luvs2sing]

3. This shit still happens?

I went through it in the 70s and 80s before marrying a man who had had two children from a previous marriage and a vasectomy and didn’t have to worry about it anymore. Hell, I knew when I was still a little girl playing with my baby dolls that, unlike my friends, this was not the life I was going to choose for myself. Ugh..disgusting..

[CousinIT]

7. Apparently so. Can you believe this shit? Same stupid excuses. Ugh. n/t

[musette_sf]

4. BTDT

1980, one of the best decisions I ever made. I had to go through three doctors, one of them a perv who openly groped me during the exam, and the other two who told me it didn’t matter if my then-husband agreed with me because what if an imaginary, non-existent future husband changed my mind?, before finally finding one willing to perform the procedure. Then there was the psychiatric interrogation and the then-husband signing the paperwork. I did manage to get HIP of NY to pay for everything except the anesthesia, after haranguing them non-stop that it was a hell of a lot cheaper than paying for pregnancy and birth.

[Freddie]

6. My daughter's MIL

Was 22 with 3 kids and begged to get her tubes tied. Doctor refused because she was “too young” (like having 3 kids under the age of 5 isn’t reason enough??). Her 4th child married my daughter. MIL is still livid about it.
Guess I had a pretty cool doctor, I was 32 and wanted it done after kid #2 was born. He said “you know this is irreversible, right?” “yup” “ok sign here.” Never a word about my husband.

[peggysue2]

8. Another example

Of women being told they are incapable of making decisions about their own reproductive life.

I have a family member (42 year old) who requested a ligation after the birth of her last child. Because the birth was complicated, the ligation was never done. Problem? The patient was not told even though she'd signed all the permission documents.

Viola!

During prep work for a colonoscopy, she finds out she's pregnant (6 weeks) and just managed to have an abortion performed before the SCOTUS ruling. Before trekking off to Planned Parenthood, the woman's ob/gyn made it abundantly clear that the doctor's office would do nothing to intercede but needed to tell her how strong and viable the embryo was and, of course, had her listen to the quivering tissue (the so-called heatbeat) with an ultrasound probe.

Manipulative, disingenuous, authoritative.

It's all about controlling women, mostly by religious zealots, and then viewing those same women through a single lens: vessels with only one reasonable purpose--giving birth.

It's time for women to roar back, the way they're doing right now. Let the angry roars become deafening until the only discernible sound is:

NO!

[Diamond_Dog]

9. I actually knew a male coworker whose doctor wouldn't give him a vasectomy

Because he was under 30! He was married with two kids. He found another doctor, needless to say.

[CousinIT]

12. GOOD on him. Doctors shouldn't be in the business of deciding FOR patients.

Not their job! And men deserve the same rights to their own bodies as well. I just wish the religious extremist contingent in the US would stop trying to deny them to women!

I just read this on vasectomies. Apparently more conscious and responsible men are getting them after the "Christian" Taliban overturned Roe - because they don't want to put women they love through any of this shit:

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/katienotopoulos/roe-wade-supreme-court-decision-vasectomy