I'm heading out to buy cat food, today, and I already have a knot in my stomach

[Siwsan]

And that makes me so angry because know I'll be on hyper alert the whole time I'm away from the house.

But I figure I'm still rational enough to prioritize taking care of my boys over my fear of encountering a random crazed lunatic with a gun.

But I'm STILL angry AND resentful.

[Boomerproud]

1. You are not alone and it makes me so angry that we have anxiety

over doing daily tasks. 🤬 Wasn't one of Roosevelt's 4 Freedoms Freedom From Fear? It's been taken away from us.

[Kaleva]

13. Rational thought could help control that anxiety

Knowing that the chance of being a involved in a mass shooting is practically zero.

[Thtwudbeme]

17. Tell that to the children at my school when we were on lockdown

due to an active shooter at the HS less than a mile away.

Sorry- your rational thinking does not work when people here have either already been in close proximity to a shooting or have relatives and friends that have.

[Kaleva]

20. Rational thinking works for rational adults

Gun jumpers buy gun for protection because of irrational fear. Rational thinking will tell them most don't need a gun.

[Thtwudbeme]

27. Do all "rational thinkers" also lack

empathy?

[Hortensis]

36. No they don't. And rational thinking didn't stop that mother

who went rationally into another area of the school and quietly removed her children. Or the teachers who did their jobs rationally as they were supposed to. Or the children who remained calm and rational and did what they could for themselves and others;

Rational thinking is NORMAL. It's how most people think. It's how people are SUPPOSED to think.

[Demsrule86]

28. It is a very slim chance...more chance of being in a car accident or even being run over. I refuse

to live in fear.

[Thtwudbeme]

2. I understand- I am the one that started

the agoraphobia thread yesterday.

I am not really sure seeing a therapist would help.

[Hugin]

6. I kid you not...

I have recently gotten calls from therapists who needed to talk.

I’m considering forwarding my calls to California Psychics.

[Demsrule86]

29. Of course it would help...Goodness it will destroy you life if you don't.

[brooklynite]

3. I'm going out and I don't have a knot in my stomach...

Shootings have an impact because they become a big news story that overwhelms anything else. But the reality is, the chances you'll be shot by a mass murderer are vanishingly small; as are the chances you'll get hit by a car, pushed off a subway platform, etc.

I'm going in to the office and I won't be any more worried than on any other day of the year.

[Torchlight]

4. Sounds serious

Good luck.

[Siwsan]

8. Full disclosure, I suffer from severe anxiety, and this scenario just feeds the beast

I know that the odds are strong that this will never happen to me. But when I see it happen to OTHERS who likely thought the same thing, well, suddenly it doesn't seem so impossible.

So that's the anxiety talking. Despite medication and therapy, it's so engrained in my psyche, it's a daily struggle dealing with it.

But I appreciate your wise words.

(BTW, when I lived in Philadelphia I often took the subway. AND I stood far from the tracks because I was always worried about being pushed or bumped onto the tracks. Go figure.)

[Demsrule86]

30. I went to three stores yesterday looking for gas for the grill... I didn't even think about

shootings. I will not live in fear. And honestly, the chance is so slim it is an unreasonable fear.

[Kaleva]

5. Based on facts, what are the odds of you being a victim of a mass shooter?

You are probably more likely to be killed or seriously injured in a car accident.but that doesn't bother you because you know the odds of even that happening are extremely low.

[Siwsan]

11. I know it's just my anxiety condition short circuiting my rational thought process

Doesn't make it any easier, though.

[Kaleva]

14. My wife suffers from extreme anxiety

There's no identifiable reasons as to what triggers it.

I should be clear that when I talk about this, I understand that there are people, such as my wife and you, who suffer from anxiety and events like yesterday can have a major impact. I apologize for not making that clear and it not my intent to minimize the feelings some, who suffer from anxiety, may be feeling right now

[Siwsan]

16. And another 'trigger' is, I have experienced having a bullet pass close to my head

When I was living on base, in Philadelphia. Some idiots across the courtyard were playing with a gun that they SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD, IN THE FIRST PLACE!! They fired off a shot and it entered through my room's window, passing between me and my roommate.

Naturally we immediately reported it. NOTHING was done (that I know of), other than for the guys supposedly saying they were sorry - it was an accident.

I moved off base, shortly after. I found living in South Philadelphia, during the height of the Atlantic City Mob War, to be safer than living on base.

[Kaleva]

18. I was stationed there in the 80s

I was robbed once by a guy who held a knife to my throat. I handed him my wallet but asked him for some money so I could ride the Broad street? subway back to near base He dug in my wallet and handed me a few dollars.


Bring extremely drunk, I was calm throughout the incident but had I been sober, I would not have been in the situation in the first place

[Siwsan]

24. I lived on Broad Street

About half way between center city and the base.

For a while they were housing females in the LEGAL HOLD barracks!! Honestly - what could go wrong with that.

[samnsara]

7. maybe start having it sent to you..

during covid i had all my dogs food shipped to me and a masked up ups driver was the only human i would have to see.

[Siwsan]

10. I am thinking about giving Chewy a try.

I thought I had more wet food in the pantry and didn't realize how much of the feral's food we've gone though.

[Freddie]

21. Chewy is the greatest!

I’m basically lazy, and by using Chewy I don’t have to drive to the other side of town to the pet store to get my boys the foods they need which they don’t carry at Giant. Plus they’re rarely out of stock, unlike the stores.

[TheBlackAdder]

22. Pet Supplies Plus does free order picking and delivery. Join up and get coupons and perks too.

.

One hour curbside pickup is also an option.

Most home deliveries are same day or next day. No human contact, just a drop-off and door bell ring.

.

[Torchlight]

9. It's a weird feeling I often share.

Our knowledge that critical incidents are unlikely is a cold solace when we see the results of consistent and daily violence.

Heck, I'd guess that a number of victims of each incident told themselves that 'it's a greater probability that I'll win the lottery than get shot at a 4th of July Parade. No worries."

So yeah, I absolutely get (and sometimes share) the anger and resentment you feel. In my case, it's more a sense of helplessness in a very chaotic world. But I tell myself that a little dose of despondence every now and then isn't going to really change me, but like a paper cut, that feeling can be annoying as hell when it does happen.

[Siwsan]

12. Exactly. This feeling will pass, but right now it's just very raw.

We are living in strange times, my friend.

[Hugin]

15. What makes it more pronounced is almost all of the examples cited above are...

Unpredictable accidents. There is no motivating force involved, trying to subvert the established safety protocols and mechanisms.

What is concerning to you is we are experiencing a rash of conscious violence where the violence is the point. There is a deliberate effort to subvert and avoid the measures and social norms in place to protect us.

Mass shootings are a power thing very much like rape and the excitement of that possibility is the only reason anyone would privately own a device capable of inflicting a mass murder incident. They actively fantasize about doing it.

[Demsrule86]

32. Every generation lives in strange times...My Grandma and Grandpa lived through WWI,

the 1918 pandemic, prohibition, the depression, WWII, the cold war, and Vietnam. They were older when they had my Dad. My Dad went to Korea and Vietnam...they lived through the cold war too...Look at history...there were always strange times in every generation.

[Hugin]

40. Although I agree with your gist.

It seems more personal lately.

[Hortensis]

19. At least you know it's irrational, Siwsan. INCREASING exposure to the real world

and real people of all types would hopefully help adjust an out-of-whack perspective. If you just can't, maybe you should get professional help.

But one thing that won't cost anything or require you to stress out by taking more walks and talking with more people would be cutting back on exposure to mind-fucking social media, and even honest news. News is only positively informative to a point; since it's always abnormal, too much can be unbalancing and warping. As for social media, and DU is a social medium, it's proven to have seriously damaged the mental health of millions.

Btw, it's usually strong conservatives who are unrealistically afraid and rejecting of the world and its people. You don't want to be like them.

Restore perspective.

Best wishes!

[Siwsan]

25. I do have medication for the anxiety

In fact I just made an appointment to get it renewed.

The core of the anxiety is so multi faceted. I've also been diagnosed with PTSD.

I do get out - not as much as before Covid, but I won't surrender to the anxiety.

[Hortensis]

35. That last is great to hear -- and you are on it.

You're probably expert on the various behavioral therapies, but still hard to imagine more than a few minutes a day at most of political forums would be prescribed, if any. We see a whole lot of people being adversely affected in different ways by the poison potions mixed up in political gatherings, but unaware. Even a nice forum like this one is experienced by some people (not thinking of you! Or anxiety.) as encouraging extreme and irrational views.

I wonder (no idea) if it might help to have more things you feel you can't run out of, like pet food and medications, delivered, so that you seldom feel you HAVE to go out? Making excursions be for times when you feel good?

[Siwsan]

38. I think the height of this angst will pass. It's just so fresh, right now

But I always have that thought in the back of my mind, when I'm out and about. Fortunately, I'm not a 'shopper'. I know what I need, I buy it, and I go home.

I am going to see about switching my prescriptions to delivery AND do a cost comparison with Chewy. I buy the big cans of pate I mix in the feral's kibble (for breakfast, only) at Walmart but they haven't had it in, lately. I'll have to see if it's available by delivery. AND have my niece check the store near her. It's inexpensive but they sure love it and gives them a good start to their day.

[Hortensis]

43. We don't have much delivered, but what we do has been reliably

delivered, at most a few orders delayed a very few days that we are given notice of.

That's been more dependable than curbside pickup orders, which now fairly commonly have a few items that have gone to "not in stock" between paying and picking up. Probably because we are able to order a few days ahead, giving them more time to fulfill, unlike curbside. And of course we could order a few MORE days ahead if we were worried about running out.

They sure love it... So of course you do.

[Casandia]

23. There are some though/thinking strategies that might help

I start counting (counting up to 100, or counting items, or counting in French) when the anxiety overwhelms me. It helps me trigger a part of my brain that reduces my emotions. I had a job from hell a few years back and a therapist gave me some coping techniques - and the counting worked best for me.

And order from chewy. They’ll have what you want in stock and free delivery if you spend $50.

[Siwsan]

33. I'm pretty well stocked up, now

I want to keep some food and water in the basement, in case we have to take shelter from a tornado. They are saying this might be a bad season so I'll just have everything ready in advance.

I'll have to try counting. One thing, for sure, purring felines definitely help. Unfortunately they frown on me bringing them into most stores.

[BlackSkimmer]

26. I still do pick-up for my groceries.

It's free most places. Might be an option for you.

[raccoon]

31. Sorry op, I have anxiety too. Usually with me it's about heavy traffic.

Sometimes I say the Serenity Prayer to myself. it helps me.

[Siwsan]

34. Part of the reason I hate to drive is my anxiety

However, it does make me a VERY observant and cautious driver.

[alphafemale]

37. Do delivery then.

I don't even have anxiety. I just find shopping dreadfully boring.

It's really not a thing you have to do.

Lots of places will even deliver free so hush that excuse before it starts.

[Siwsan]

41. I don't think I'd ever trust delivery for my fresh fruit/veg and baked goods

I'm a bit fussy about them. But pantry goods, sure. I usually stock up on those so they only trips I would have to take would be fore the aforementioned.

And I can always call on my brother, niece and her husband. They get a little frustrated that I don't do that, more often.

This wave of anxiety will lessen, as time goes on. The school shootings don't trigger it. Those just trigger rage. But that whole parade or shootings at stores/malls. Those are my triggers.

[alphafemale]

54. This is kibble fer fuq sake

You really need your head petted?

[leftyladyfrommo]

39. You need to be careful if you will be in a low danger

area. That seems to be where they are hitting.

[Siwsan]

42. Exactly. The element of surprise

And I'm in a VERY Blue area of the county, which could also make places here a target.

[tavernier]

44. I don't mean to sound smart assy,

but I believe that your chances of getting ill or injured are much greater from the many cats that you lovingly care for, than being shot while shopping. Statistically speaking, that is.

[Siwsan]

45. Probably true. It's a possible scenario - not a probable one.

And I logically know that. But anxiety conditions can overpower logic until you wrestle your control back.

And you don't come across as smart sassy. It's just hard to explain what having an anxiety condition feels like, and how hard it can be to control. There are times I need to have people rein me in.

[tavernier]

46. I do know.

I had anxiety that kept me from accomplishing many things that I desired in my life. Oddly, it completely went away after menopause. I’m assuming that my hormones were not in proper balance, but who knows. But I do know that life is easier now.

[Siwsan]

47. Mine feels like it has gotten worse, but maybe that's because I finally acknowledged it

I was raised by a mother who did not allow you to voice such things. She considered it a character flaw. I ended up just internalizing everything. For years.

Now I have an APN who listened to me and didn't ask if I want to try something - she just prescribes it and I take it. And it has helped but some demons are more easily conquered than others. So I'm a late work in delayed progress.

[Novara]

48. Those who don't suffer from anxiety seem not to have much patience for those who do.

Your fear is real to you. No one should tell you that you shouldn't feel what you're feeling.

I don't know if looking at the statistics helps but if it does, use that. Be vigilant, plan what you'd do if the unthinkable happens, and maybe feeling prepared might help reduce the anxiety.

I was rear-ended - hard - last year on my way to work after going home for lunch. I'm fine, my car only suffered minor damage, and they caught the guy (hit and run). But it doesn't stop me from nervously checking my rear view mirror every time I have to stop at that light, even almost a year later. That fear is still there.

Fear is real. Don't let anyone tell you that you shouldn't feel it. But do learn some coping strategies. And hugs

[Siwsan]

49. Thank you!

And one of my coping mechanisms is sitting on my lap, right now, purring.

Hmmm. I wonder what the other two are up to!!

[Novara]

50. My kittyboys are definitely my nursekitties!

One of them suffers from anxiety and the fireworks seriously terrorized him, poor boy.

[leftyladyfrommo]

51. Wait until you see the new prices.

[Siwsan]

53. Canned cat food has really gone up. Dry, not so much.

I bought a case of wet food and saved about .10 a can. I mix it with a little kibble and the boys love it.

[Vinca]

52. I don't know - it's kind of a toss up which is worse. Pissed off cats or crazed shooter.

Nothing to joke about, I know. It pisses me off that I've actually thought about where I would go in the grocery store if a nut shows up and begins shooting up the produce section. What a country.