In the Bleeding Heart spirit of bipartisanship toward wingnuts/Qanonites, an offer of help.

[UTUSN]

Last edited Fri Jul 15, 2022, 12:47 PM - Edit history (1)

NOTE: This is *PARODY*, not for any humorless, pompously pedantic, literal types to Alert as being “kook conspiracy.” And it takes a bit of the fun out to have to attach disclaimers, labels “sarcasm, parody” just to placate those. Manhattan murder mystery – oh, can’t use this, would be plagiarism.

We Bleeding Heart Libs must REACH OUT and UNDERSTAND various wingnuts, Qnunneries, and make an opportunity to help. Them. Out. Because that’s what we do: We HELP. And we know what HURT feels like, such as when we are accused of being hypocritical in our choices of exhibiting our Bleeding Hearts excluding wingnut travails.

So it has sunk in with us that the aforesaid ones have had their feelings deeply hurt by our Lib fighting back at their primary, signature-type projects, but let’s give a pass for now to that type of vicious, hateful projects.

We must be sensitive to how much the aforementioned ones must be crying out for something more than aloe vera for the hits their reputations have taken, how their projects have been targeted as malicious, vicious, untrue, and conspiratorial.

So in the spirit of our Bleeding Heart Bipartisanship, let’s take off a bit of the burden of their always having to do all the heavy lifting of conspiracying, by contributing one coming from our Leftist side toward conspiracy on the wingnut side. Because they surely want to be known as even handed and pop one out about The Right instead of always about The Left. And we know how much it would hurt for them to do that one about The Right.

*** So the topic is the death of First Lady Emeritus Ivana. Nothing negative about the Dead here, quite the opposite: She was known for her fun-loving lifestyle and the good taste and judgment she showed in matters of Divorce. Rather, this is about the mysterious circumstances of her demise, potential motives, and possibly a person of interest into the bargain. All just to be helpful.

REMEMBER THESE WORDS from 2017, we’ll need them anon:
“He took the divorce as a business deal. And he cannot lose. He has to win.”

WHAT’S “SUSPICIOUS”?

73 years old? Not unheard of, and any age is susceptible. But I’m 75 and tons of peeps live far longer than us on our last legs who haven’t accomplished what MOZART did by 35. Well, she *did* rack up mileage in the very fast lane.

Fell down the stairs? It happens. But most often heard in works of trite theatricality and crime dramatizations. This could go either way.

Alone, found by doorman. It’s always puzzling when celebrities with tons of moola accrue infractions like DUIs, like, they can easily afford their personal chauffeur, although one A-Lister attributed her DUI to being tired of being constantly minded, wanting to be OFF on her OWN!1 So this currently under discussion (the deceased), loaded jet setter had no live-in attendant, 73 year old celebrity alone with a dangerous staircase? Yes, at 75 I’m constantly off balance. Where was this staircase that a doorman had access to? Seems like it would be inside her quarters, a “doorman” in my unwashed connoting being in livery outside at the front door on the street? Although, not unheard of, servants with privileges – let’s dismiss this.

POTENTIAL PERSON OF INTEREST

In a high percentage of the aforementioned works of theatricality and crime reenactments, the spouse/ex-spouse sooner or later turns out to be the hiding in plain sight perpetrator. In this Deceased case, her other ex-es are either amicably separated or Departed themselves – EXCEPT FOR ONE!1 And this particular One is said to have personal appearances Outside of Florida, in D.C. easy access to the Deceased abode, meaning Opportunity!

MOTIVE

Her prescient words from years ago: “He took the divorce as a business deal. And he cannot lose. He has to win.” The ex-spouse has a crushing load of civil and criminal charges mounting up, and he can’t bear for somebody (the Deceased) with so much history with him to see him NOT WINNING and, indeed, LOSING. So AWAY with her, the same as with anybody else (because nobody is above the retribution) who in his estimation doesn’t polish any facet of his parts.

THE VIDEO OF THE MOTIVE: At the 1:10 mark

“He took the divorce as a business deal. And he cannot lose. He has to win.”

[Bettie]

1. I would have got it

even without the disclaimer! But, I understand.

Funny and a sad commentary on our current political climate.

[UTUSN]

3. Thanks for validating the regrettable need for such disclaimers.

Especially with something this obvious!

[Hugin]

2. This wouldn't even be an average Columbo episode...

Maybe Barney Fife should be assigned. He needs a win.

[UTUSN]

4. Yeah. Luckily I'm past regretting wasting 45 minutes of time and effort at various things.

[Hugin]

5. In about tee minus five when Foxy Quisling trots out a surprise suspect...

Hunter Biden's laptop, Butter Males, or antifa.

I'm switching back to Gilligan's Island.

[UTUSN]

6. We're trying to give them time off from work, a break from the conspiracy work.

Plus, unburdening them from having to target a wingnut perpetrator (not laptop/Antifa).

[Hugin]

7. A noble effort.

Maybe if you wrapped it in some bacon?

[UTUSN]

8. Self-kick for 45 minutes of difficult, wasted time & effort