Russia Says It's Losing Because Ukraine Has Experimental Mutant Troops Created in Secret Biolabs

[Peacetrain]

"Nearly five months into its senseless war against Ukraine, Russia has concocted a wild new explanation for why the Kremlin’s plans for a quick takeover fell apart so spectacularly—because Ukrainian troops were turned into superhuman killing machines during “secret experiments” in American-run biolabs, of course.

Never mind the myriad reports of Russian troops refusing to fight by the thousands, sabotaging their own shoddy equipment and even deliberately wounding themselves to abandon the war, Russian lawmakers claim the real setback for Moscow was “drugged up” Ukrainian soldiers.

That claim was made Monday by two Russian lawmakers heading up a commission to investigate “biolaboratories” in Ukraine, Kommersant reported."

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/russia-says-it-s-losing-because-ukraine-has-experimental-mutant-troops-created-in-secret-biolabss/ar-AAZJBZo?cvid=3e36e7a118034e77a2af68197633b4f2

You just cannot make this stuff up..

[Lovie777]

1. Laughing extremely out loud .......

Oh Lordy, and I thought the USA had make it up bullshit, but this one wins the day.

[Peacetrain]

2. I know... I could not believe what I was reading

[mopinko]

7. in fairness, a lot of ours starts there.

and gets paid for in rubles.

[ForgedCrank]

3. Well, I guess now we

know what Alex Jones has been doing in his spare time.

[Peacetrain]

6. Alex Jones...rofl

my sides are starting hurt I have been laughing so hard

[Celerity]

41. a classic

[Baked Potato]

4. Great bone tossed to PooTin,

[Peacetrain]

8. That headline is a hats off to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

[Baked Potato]

39. Yes!!!

[Rebl2]

5. Oh my goodness

I think putin has lost his mind.

[Peacetrain]

10. How long before they start accusing them of being the "walking dead"

[dchill]

9. This, my friends, is nut soup.

[Peacetrain]

12. I know I know

maybe it is starting to wind down.. when they start talking mutants.. time to go back to Mother Russia

[MLAA]

11. Sounds like TFG and Herschel Walker helped Russia come up with that one.

[Peacetrain]

15. Ahh Yep

Sounds like Walkerisms or Taylor Greene word salad

[Wounded Bear]

13. So, what? Ukrainians called in the Galactic Storm troopers?

?resize=750%2C313&ssl=1

[Shermann]

16. No, their aim isn't very good nt

[Peacetrain]

17. Your killing me

that was good!!

[Shermann]

14. Bioengineering superhuman killing machines is no small task

I don't see it as cheating. The first country to achieve that milestone will have earned the right to rule the world.

The only army that could overthrow them will be a cyborg army.

[Peacetrain]

18. My word.. and we think some on the right are so far off the deep end

they will never return.. and the Russians show us there are even deeper depths of insanity to be explored .. Just Unbelievable

[nolabear]

19. The world is barking mad.

Our ability to spread information without control or gatekeepers allows the clever and dishonest to spread lies for their own profit, and reality is so slippery no one can grasp
It for long.

[Peacetrain]

22. Nola.. at what point in time did these people come up with this craziness

and then try and peddle it to their fellow citizens...

[nolabear]

23. I don't think it's fellow citizens. I think it's those who will kill for them.

And keep them in power.

[tanyev]

20. Yeah.....that's the ticket.

[Peacetrain]

28. Ahh Yep!!

[Hermit-The-Prog]

21. Anybody who played Warcraft II knows you need wizards to fight orcs.

[Peacetrain]

29. Orcs... oh good one!!

that is what they are espousing..

[royable]

24. Is this before or after the gene implants from Batboy

and the telepathy organelle implants from Roswell space aliens?

[Peacetrain]

30. Works for them apparently

[ShazzieB]

57. And where do the radioactive spider bites come in?

We need to get the facts straight here!

[PortTack]

25. I think Malcom Nance nailed it. The Ukrainians have gone full on Cossack over the invasion of

Their country. They will not give in or give up until the orcs are pushed out

[Peacetrain]

27. Well they are scaring the stuffing out of the Russians if that

is the best they can come up for their losses...

[PortTack]

32. Poopin knows..he just doesn't want to admit it

What’s scaring the orcs are the HIMARS. Russia has nothing even close to it, or anything to counter it. Since the appearance of these units, close to front, the Ukrainian forces have destroyed 30 russian ammo depots and military facilities inside russia and in occupied areas of Ukraine. Crimea is on their wish list!

[LiberalArkie]

50. Knock out the water pipeline to Crimea and the bridges and It would be pretty much over

for the little island

[Torchlight]

26. This is the farcically logical bookend to "Iraqi Mobile weapons laboratories"

Ah, humans-- we had The Enlightenment in the grasp of our hands, but decided hate radio was more our thing. We really are a fundamentally silly species.

'What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how infinite in faculty...'

[Peacetrain]

31. The things we come up with as humans..

in this case.. its just "what a piece of work"

[scipan]

36. James Webb telescope and... this.

I hope they don't actually believe what they are spewing.

[sarisataka]

33. Awesome!!!

[onecaliberal]

34. Terrorists state said what?

[Hermit-The-Prog]

35. Look for a similar message from Fox and GQP. We be mutants!

Putin's puppets in the U.S. will echo. It's a strange form of long distance ventriloquism.

[LakeArenal]

37. And if they don't have mutant troops?

Means you are just a miserable loserPutie?

[AllyCat]

46. Right?

[Chainfire]

38. Thank goodness we made them here first!

[Kid Berwyn]

40. Hideous Mutant Freekz

[Amishman]

42. I also enjoy drinking and making up absurd stories

[Whiskeytide]

43. Hmmm. Maybe they shouldn't fuck with us. n/t

[Quanto Magnus]

44. So....

The super soldier serum mixed with a forced X-man kinda deal?

Someone's gotten ahold of the Marvel movies in Russia?


Next it will be....

'Some big purple guy with a gold glove is making us lose!!!'

[AllyCat]

45. And Tulsi Gabbard will be out there giving it legs.

[Going to Canada]

47. Wow.

Propaganda and ignorance! Russia needs to go home.

[NCjack]

48. Russian women prefer Ukrainian men!

[Raine]

49. Oh geeessh use any excuse Pootie to explain

why your ass is getting whooped!

[IronLionZion]

51. And space lasers, and fake voters, the war is rigged with election fraud on the Ukrainian side

Putin should declare victory and send his troops home. Have a Trump style MAGA rally.

[jmowreader]

52. These super soldiers have one super power

The ability to yell “We have food! Surrender now and get some!”

[Brenda]

53. Uh, yeah you can.

The CIA is real good at that shit.

[jaxexpat]

54. Jewish space lasers again?

[CanonRay]

55. Guess they have their own Q-anon

[Hassler]

56. Sounds like Vlad is getting his ideas from the Jewish space laser moron

[aggiesal]

58. Cool, how can we use them? n/t

[SergeStorms]

59. RAnon.

QAnon roadshow, and it becomes RAnon! Either that or PUTAnon.

They're all CRAZYAnon as far as I'm concerned. Off the rails on a crazy train. 🤡💩