Carrying a dead baby...
As someone who had to do this, not once, but twice no one knows how it feels to carry a dead baby that was plannned for and very much wanted unless you have had to do it. The first time I had gone into premature labor at 8 months. Fortunately, after my exam determined no heartbeat, and decayed tissue upon examining me further, I delivered a dead son. I say fortunately because I didn't have to continue the pregnancy knowing he was gone. Mother nature took care of things for me. The second time I was 7 months along and Dr. couldn't get a heartbeat. In this instance I went into labor a few days later. I had to shop for an outfit to bury my baby in. While I was in line to purchase, a well meaning lady was asking when I was due, did I know the baby's sex, etc. I told her my due date and said I didn't know what the baby's sex was because I didn't want her to experience discomfort about my situation. Can you believe that? I walked out in a trance and went to my car to cry in private. It took everything I had not to breakdown in the store. This craziness about making women carry dead babies and ignoring the very real dangers this poses to the health and life of the mother has to end. Why would we as a country allow a bunch of zealots dictate our private lives? We have to take down every politician who believes this nonsense. It is our bodies, our families our choice.
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I was due but noted no movement one day and went for the ultrasound. No heartbeat. Induction was scheduled for several days later and whenever I encountered anyone (which I desperately tried not to do), they inevitably asked the same, understandable questions you confronted. I, too, didn't want to make them feel uncomfortable, so I answered with the basics. I simply cannot imagine the horrors women are being forced to confront now, on top of what are already natural, not preventable tragedies. 
For you to experience this heartbreak twice...there are no words.
(This is a bit off topic, but I also found that I became a pariah in the social circle of expectant families, as they simply didn't want to consider that the same nightmare could happen to them. So they acted like I didn't exist. We learn a lot about human nature during such times.)
If you read Tom Wolfe's book, back when they were first flying experimental aircraft and preparing to go into space, they died on a regular basis. I think the term Wolfe used was something like "an epidemic of premature death." When one died, the rest would shake their heads and agree that it turned out he didn't have "the right stuff." It must be human nature, a protective reaction.
When my daughter died i experienced the same sort of isolation. People who had not experienced such a loss could not accept the random nature of the tragedy. The fact is it can happen to anyone. Anyone at all. I actually had a friend tell me that her kids were all alive because "Gawd knows that I couldn't handle it if one of my kids died." Saying this to a woman whose daughter had died. go figure.
I'm sorry you had to go through that hell.
I know of the almost unspeakable tragedy you endure each day (and know it’s especially painful right now).
What you say makes sense, so I shouldn’t be shocked you endured such ignorance and callousness, adding insult to injury. My gosh, the things people say…
No one, especially a man could understand how emotionally devastating an experience like yours can be.
The same is true for a woman who is raped and is forced to carry the embryo created by such a horrific experience.
I hope you were able at some point to successfully have the child you so longed to have. Peace to you.
For the forced-birthers, the cruelty is the point.
Thank you for sharing your story. We all need to confront this madness with our own painful experiences. It's hard, but I believe it helps.
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Thank you for sharing your story, I hope you find peace.
Agree that those who wish to dictate to women MUST be crushingly defeated.
