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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsThe Hawley Scamper, and Other Fascist Dance Crazes (Ferrrrret)
Ive just learned we live not only in an era of rampant disinformation and ascendant fascism, but also, it would appear, to my chagrin and horror
the age of the Velveeta martini, and perhaps its time to pull the plug on the American experiment after all.
(Git dem links: https://showercapblog.com/the-hawley-scamper-and-other-fascist-dance-crazes/)
I know youre all probably drowning in Cillizzafied listicles about takeaways from the most recent January 6th hearing, but I feel the appropriate framing goes something like Four Winners and Eight Losers From Thompson-Cheney Overdrives Latest Prime Time Smackdown (And Six of the Losers Are Josh Hawley From Different Angles).
Yes, the journey from Mob-Inciting Terrorist Fist Jab to Scampering For Dear Life turns out to be a short one, and now, young Joshkins finds himself the proud owner of a character-exposing video clip sure to dog his autocratic ambitions for the rest of his malignant days. Sometimes people are exactly who you think they are.
In a better world, wed get to spend the next week or so sifting through the avalanche of Hawley-eviscerating internet content, chuckling and picking out favorites, but were trying to get to the bottom of a plot to violently overthrow the federal government, in order to work our way back to that whole peaceful transfer of power thing, which I for one plan to appreciate more going forward
assuming it ever happens again.
Anyway, this weeks installment was a deep dive on Tangerine Idi Amins Stall Till the Lynchings Done strategy, while his brigade of brainwashed buttholes stormed the Capitol, providing yet another helpful lesson on the dangers of elevating sociopathic narcissists to positions of awesome political power, titled, The One Where, Holy Fucking Shit, Mike Pences Security Detail Called Their Families To Say Goodbye.
Yep, Off-Brand Orbán basically sat there, in a puddle of his own filth, glued to the idiot box, tweeting incitement, hoping mob violence would succeed where kakistocrat krakens and demented pillow merchants had failed. The White House sat at the precise intersection of idiocy and evil that day.
Video outtakes of the Manchurian Manchilds statements from January 6th and 7th reveal a downright sullen tyrant, as unwilling to condemn the murderous throng as to be made to eat his peas. His aversion to asking his loser army to stay peaceful seems shocking, sure, until you remember there were a couple of times when Obama didnt wear a flag pin.
And lets be honest, as excommunicated apostate Adam Kinzinger noted, Cult45 has no intention of staying peaceful. Dont believe me? Ask former D.C. police officer Michael Fanone.
I know decency isnt really a thing on the Right anymore, but could we give it a rest with the stochastic terrorism? Please? At least for the duration of the Siri, Show Me How Stochastic Terrorism Works hearings?
No, I suppose not. Frankly, with new witnesses coming forward, necessitating a whole second wave of televised sessions this fall, nows exactly when you want to make the rounds, distributing horse heads in potential squealers beds.
Still, its fairly terrifying to see such thuggish witness intimidation perpetrated via the official Twitter account of the House GOP. Its a nifty little arrangement theyve worked out, the elected officials and their pet mob
well provide the permission structure, youre in charge of the random acts of violence. Cozy.
Shit, the Deposed Dotard is still trying to overturn the 2020 election, fucking STILL. Congratulations on finding a depth even a festering taintfungus like Robin Vos wont sink to, by the way.
Incidentally, Melania apparently claims she was oblivious to the whole dang riot, start to finish, because she was taking pictures of a rug. And while thats ridiculous, bordering on insulting, I imagine that when one spends significant time around the Trumps, one swiftly concludes that lies hardly require plausibility to successfully deceive. (Youll recall, Eric famously sued over a game of got your nose, seeking recovery of the purloined proboscis, as well as substantial damages for emotional distress.)
So, Garrett Ziegler, a low-level Peter Navarro minion during the Stupid Coo, wont be graduating to pull-up pants any time soon, judging by his misogynistic meltdown following testimony before the January 6th commission. In hindsight, who but incels would staff the fast-sinking Shartanic during the final days of the Turd Reich?
Yes, its quite the grotesque congregation of flies swarming around the turd of late-stage Trumpism. Indicted insurrectionist bureaucrat Tina Peters, for example, simply will not stop violating the terms of her bond, because laws dont apply to conservative white ladies, silly.
Actually, my latest scheme to monetize the blog is a steamy, sultry, direct-to-DVD series called Proto-Fascists Gone Wild, capturing all the sleaziest, sluttiest antics of the wad of burst rectal fistulas that make up the House Republican Conference. I figure theres enough material for ten or twenty volumes. Per week.
Arizonas Andy Biggs has to be considered a strong frontrunner for Julys Brownshirt of the Month, and with it, the coveted parking spot out front at Marm-a-Lago, after inserting the very white nationalist propaganda thats inspired multiple mass shooters into a fucking CONGRESSIONAL HEARING ON GUN VIOLENCE.
Then theres Dr. Ronny Jackson, still howling over Barack Obamas lightly-administered spanking, and retreating into a traditional, Republican, masculinity-projection ritual, shrieking COME AND TAKE IT at the phantom liberals he imagines are after his guns, because he wants the entire world to know about the tolerance hes built up to Viagra, I guess.
Meanwhile, Louie Gohmert could find no better use for his floor time than some daffy diatribe claiming months-past-their-expiration-date MAGA grifters Diamond and Silk are victims of some vast conspiracy involving
shit, who even knows? Antifa? Big Tech? Jade Helm veterans armed with Jewish space lasers?
Now, Louies clutched the Dumbest Man in Congress crown tightly for most of his career, but now, in dumbfuck twilight, he may not even be even the dullest twit in the Texas delegation, not with Chip Theres a Second Amendment Right to Murder Roy on the prowl. In a late-breaking follow-up, Roy has ironically proposed a total ban on Letting Jamie Raskin Point Out What an Empty-Headed Clod Chip Roy Is, which is expected to draw unanimous support from the Freedom Caucus.
Speaking of House Republicans, hot off voting against investigating Nazis in the military, they voted against marriage equality. Then, for good measure, they voted against protecting the right to contraception. Shit, when theyre the ones setting the agenda, expect them to oppose establishing a right to sanitary conditions in the reeducation camps. (Excuse me, Governor DeSantis, civics boot camps.)
Ok, so, an election denier, a Q disciple, and a neo-Confederate walk into a bar. Only not a bar, the Republican ticket for statewide office in Maryland. Seriously. Gubernatorial primary victor Dan Cox has been described, accurately, by a member of his own party, as a QAnon whackjob. Joins Mastriano, and quite probably that maniac in Arizona soon. Yknow, if you figured out some way to scientifically rank 2022 Republican candidates by level of delusion, Sarah Palin would probably come out in the saner half. Sleep tight.
Incest aficionado Rudy Giuliani has been ordered to testify in Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis investigation, which is good, but make you sure give clear directions, or hell wind up drunkenly pleading the fifth in the parking lot behind Grand Jury Pool Cleaning & Supply or some shit.
Also, the sixteen treacherous crotchtumors who planned on sneaking into the Electoral College by the back door, wearing trench coats and fake mustaches, learned they themselves are now targets of this investigation, and of course theyre already whining about it. My advice is, commit less treason.
But Lindsey Graham, no doubt fearing the scenario in which cellmate Steve Bannon asserts dominance and forces him to launder all those crusty shirt layers, folded after minimal yapping, and will now comply with his own subpoena. Youre too soft for insurrection, Lindsepher; perhaps theres an opening for some sort of Proud Boys mascot?
Bannon, by the way, was convicted of the least of his many crimes, and will indeed do time. You know youre really scums scum when one Presidential pardon isnt enough to keep you out of prison.
Surely, when one attains the dizzying, rarefied heights of loserdom that only Donald John Trump has seen, the public humiliation becomes addictive. Why else would you petulantly demand the Pulitzer board retract prizes awarded for reporting on your electoral collusion with a certain hostile foreign power? Why would you waste time, money, and energy on taking such a stupid, inevitable, pointless L, unless youre all pervy and weird about it?
So, President Biden tested positive for Covid, and of course, hes vaxxed and boosted, so hes fine, not that youd know that from the yelps of delight emanating from the Right. Pour out some of the good meth on Uncle Doug Who Took Hydroxychloroquines grave, I guess.
Folks, this week was actually so fucked up that the blog got away from me. When you remember tonights post, please imagine I made hilarious, hilarious comments about the ongoing clusterfuck at the Secret Service, the latest unhinged plots to capture and punish women with the audacity to seek bodily autonomy, and whatever else I mayve missed.
With that, I really must crash, mloves. Stay safe, stay hydrated, stay engaged, and above all else, stay sexxxxxy. See you next week.
ramen
(790 posts)SheltieLover
(57,073 posts)2naSalit
(86,591 posts)littlemissmartypants
(22,656 posts)ProfessorGAC
(65,013 posts)That was a beut!