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[UniqueUserName]

This message was self-deleted by its author (UniqueUserName) on Sat May 20, 2023, 05:27 AM. When the original post in a discussion thread is self-deleted, the entire discussion thread is automatically locked so new replies cannot be posted.

[Tetrachloride]

1. You're on the right first step : gathering ideas

One thing. lawyers cost money even if they are old acquaintances.

My family was slow to seeing my point of view. And i didn’t have much of view.

Whatever road, its yours and DU is here.

It sounds like the middle sister is a tad more on your side than the rest. (speculation) if she really wanted to be invited. otherwise, forget i said that.

Don’t burn bridges. Let time make that decision.

[UniqueUserName]

2. Your point is so spot on.

I'm angry. I'm angry for what has happened to women's rights.

That is not a good space to talk to other people. I do take your advice. I will cool down.

I do think that sometimes there isn't another side. How is it possible that we are discussing women's bodily autonomy? How is it 2022 that we are discussing whether a zygote is a person? I am a gay man. Why can you [not you personally] not understand that women have a right to their body?

[Tetrachloride]

6. I use food analogies

Once upon a time, I was introduced to homemade chicken salad. I had no idea that i myself could do a mix without special cooking or spices. ( These days, i have a spice master)

Enlightenment is like marinating. it usually takes quite a while.

DU is a good place to get ideas. Friends or neighbors will have unique insight because they see your sisters and your property.

I was outvoted on property a few years after the salad days.

Keep your current friends. Add new ones. Library and liberal events are my technique, and travel.

[William769]

3. I am a late 50s gay man. My life partner and I were together for 16 years. He died in 2006.

I have six brothers & sisters and broke contact with 5 of them when I came out of the closet in the early 90's.

The best advice I can give you is do what's right for you and your financial future (we're not getting any younger). If it comes down to it, I see you have one of two choices if no agreement is meant. 1. give in and sell. 2. get an attorney and get ready to spend a lot of money in the fight.

Disclaimer on my advice: I am just one of millions on the internet but have been a member of this site in good standing for 17 years.

Good luck my brother & peace.

[UniqueUserName]

12. Some of us can thrive; and some of us can't

There is no doubt in my mind that John would want the best for me.
.
I can't help but miss him. He has been gone since March 2019.

We walked daily. We walked Pleasant Ridge. We walked the levee----EVERY DAY. He was amazingly interesting. I could care less what happens to me. I have had a full, good life. We are all going to be dead at some point. Apparently, that's not now for me.

I understand that you lost your special person 2006. The person who was helping care for Mom lost her husband 8 years ago. Some of us hurt longer. My Mom's sister married THREE TIMES. I believe she loved them all. She outlived them all. Her last husband wanted to live. He called me. And I'm like, "I can't fix you. I'm not a physician."

I'm OK with dying, but I'm not OK with loss. If it's been 2006 since your guy departed, you know what I mean.

[sarcasmo]

4. Buy them out and keep the property.

[Hekate]

5. Death of a parent is a time of grief and anger; as someone said to me, they sit at the same table

You have my sympathy. Death of parents is a time ripe for chaos among siblings; anger comes along with grief.

Under your circumstances, I would recommend that you consult a lawyer asap. Bring any paperwork regarding ownership. Gosh, there’s 7 brothers and sisters — I do hope the rest of them are of good will and will assist you.

Best wishes.

[3Hotdogs]

8. Yeah, it sucks. My mother went through similar shit when my grandfather died.

Her sibs weren't getting their "rightful share" quickly enough. Lawyers were hired and the value of the estate diminished.

As posted above, you have two choices. Sell the property, now. I know, sentimental value but that won't hold water if a probate judge gets involved.

Or -

If you can get a mortgage, 10 to 20% downpayment, buy it. In actuality, your share of the sale may give you the downpayment.

Good luck.

[UniqueUserName]

14. I know the origins of Hekate

It is a time of chaos.

Death of parents is chaotic; Death of a spouse is even more so. I lost my husband, my brother, my mother within 3 years. It hurts.

But nothing hurts like the loss of my husband. I loved him so much.

[mopinko]

7. i keep thinkin i need a much taller flagpole for my freak flag, but my sobs are never gonna see it.

i'm 6th of 7, one already passed. i dont talk to any of them, and i rarely miss them. 1 is a decent human being.
we usually do rise to the occasion when needed, or at least did in the past.

not much better w my kids. 4 of 5 dont talk to me, and the 1 that does is dependent on me. 1 i hope to never see again, but the other 3 i miss terribly. they all know they can walk in the door and pick up the conversation where they left off. it's kinda how the irish roll.


i'm not so much a bridge burner as i am a door slammer. maybe locker.
sometimes they walk back in and sometimes they dont.

[Tetrachloride]

9. Wow, i thought my family was bad.

[UniqueUserName]

17. hugs

i didn't want you to think you were ignored.

I'm pretty sure that I have read your posts in the past and thought that your posts were insightful.

So, hugs (I hold you close to me).

[MLAA]

10. I have converted my sister when she was mid 60s to a voting Democrat.

My brother is a evangelical hypocritical trumper. I have no interest in a relationship with him. I do manage to send a short birthday text annually. I don’t think we have to embrace siblings just because we share blood. I think we may cut them a little more slack, but not enough to overlook their racism, anti-LGBQT or efforts to force their religion on everyone.

It doesn’t sound like you have a real chance of convincing your siblings to keep or even delay the selling of your Mom’s property. If your two sisters are as homophobic as they sound, I’d disengage with them. You deserve much better, we all do.

Sending you 💗 in whatever you decide.

[UniqueUserName]

13. Thank you

My youngest sister is not lost. I think the middle sister might be.

For me, it's hard to stay interested. I am approaching 60 years on the planet. I've had an amazing life.

The only thing that is interesting to me is playing music with my brother. We play every Saturday. He broke his pelvis on Monday. You don't have to listen to us. But this is us jamming. Hunter or the Prey https://drive.google.com/file/d/1EyX85hXz23knJkaHQcTJ4m-h6nD5uSBx/view?usp=sharing

This is my beloved. It's 17 seconds. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1NYtjE-jSY0TGjp5wds1reQPBblSPeNRJ/view?usp=sharing

[electric_blue68]

15. I can't help w the sibs. I'm so sorry you lost your dear husband...

but this caught my eye, and I'm going to share some thoughts.

"We walked daily. We walked Pleasant Ridge. We walked the levee----EVERY DAY. He was amazingly interesting. I could care less what happens to me. I have had a full, good life. We are all going to be dead at some point. Apparently, that's not now for me."

I think this might be your deep grief still talking.
You're only in your mid-50's. You see no real chances for joy of various kinds ahead for you?

I know losing a very loved parent isn't the same as losing a dear partner...
My mom was such an interesting (loved many things), creative (design) , and fervent liberal person. She wasn't like my best friend - but I enjoyed her company very much, and deeply loved her When she hit 80 I thought how many more years for her bc she had (while way under control since her 40's especially '50s onward) severe asthma in her '30's when I was 5+. She came from a quite long lived set of brothers, and a sister.

So I started saying to myself bc I was afraid I'd go into a very deep depression (at first) - "she wouldn't want me to be too sad for too long". I "chanted" that to myself for years until a freak medical thing that happened to her earlier on effected a sudden new problem that they physically couldn't fix. She was gone in a week.

It hit me about 4-6 weeks later bc of circumstances. It was so terrible, but I didn't end up hospitalized with a deep depression. Of course I still miss her, but not in that devastating way at first.

Anyway would you think that your love wouldn't want you to enjoy life more again?
It might take more time for you, but yeah ...

With deepest regards, and best of luck with your family.

[UniqueUserName]

19. I think you are correct.

I think I am in deep grief.

It's a hard world to negotiate when you are grieving
But you have to put on your big-boy pants and move on. You have to put on your bigboy pants and move on.

I've had three deaths in three years. I have to collect myself or implode. Fortunately for me, I have a catalog of music.

[blogslug]

16. I would say to look at this from the perspective of grief

Everyone grieves differently. There is no set schedule, no universal path. Experts tell us to not make life-changing choices while grieving. I would imagine that, like you, your sisters are feeling sad and a little lost. Family history aside, you all need each other right now.

[UniqueUserName]

18. thank you for that. /NT