I got a personal call from Jamie Raskin regarding my son's suicide

[crimycarny]

I lost my son to suicide 1/27/2022. He was 25. I read Jamie’s Raskin’s book “Unthinkable” where Congressmen Raskin wrote about Tommy’s death by suicide. I was recommended the book by several DU’ers. That book truly might have saved my life.

I wanted to let Congressman Raskin know how much his book meant to me but had no idea how to contact him. I decided to use the same method I did with the White House and just use the generic “contact us” email from the Jamie Raskin for Congress website. This was probably about 2 months ago. I didn’t expect a reply, I just wanted to share how much his book helped me.

Well, yesterday morning I get a call from the 202 area code. (I’ll use “crimycarny” as my first name in my description of the call. Jamie used my real first name of course). I pick up and I hear a cheerful “Hi, is this crimycarny?” I replied “Yes” and the caller says “Hi, crimycarny, this is Jamie Raskin. I’m calling to thank you for your wonderful email. I’m sorry it took me so to respond as I’ve been busy with January 6th”. Yes, it was him. The voice was unmistakable. We didn’t talk long, I just reiterated how much his book helped me.

After I hung up I went downstairs to tell my husband. As I was showing him the number I accidentally hit redial. I hung up right away and I also assumed it was a switchboard type number. Next thing I know a call is coming in from the same number. I pick up and it’s Jamie again! He said “Hi Crimycarny, I saw you just tried to call. Did you need something?” I said no, that it was a mistake redial. He replied “ok, I just wanted to make sure. Well, you have my number if you need anything.”

Jamie Raskin is the real deal. The kindness and caring he exudes in public is the true man he is.

Nothing will bring my son back. Nothing will ease this unbearable pain. But it helps to know people care. DU’ers have been immensely helpful as well.

[elleng]

1. Yes, Jamie Raskin is the real deal.

I'm pleased he is my congressional representative.

Be well.

[crimycarny]

7. Lucky you

I live in a very red area of California. Jamie Raskin’s authenticity is what made his book so powerful.

I still blame myself all the time for my son’s death. I should have done X, I shouldn’t have done Z. But I remind myself of all the the Raskin’s did to try and help Tommy. It’s obvious he grew up in an amazingly loving and tight knit family. The Raskin’s tried everything. Counseling, medication. Love love love. Yet Tommy still succumbed to his illness. It reminded me this IS an illness.

I’m still in indescribable pain, but in those earlier weeks the guilt was making me seriously think of taking my own life. “Unthinkable” helped ease me back from the edge of that cliff.

[duhneece]

33. After my husband's suicide, I was suicidal, learned it's common response

I’ve read books since and learned how often it is our response.

I’d had no idea.

DU is family and we hurt for you, cry and cuss with you. And love you. And Justin

[Samrob]

43. Raskin is what real "manhood" acts like. Bless him. nt

[mopinko]

2. wow. that's rly sweet.

esp the call back. such a mensch.

[MLAA]

3. Wow, it is wonderful that he called and wonderful his book brought you comfort. ❤️

[CaliforniaPeggy]

4. My dear crimycarny! I am so glad he reached out to you at this painful moment.

He is a gem.

I hope he lifted some of your grief.

[SoCalDavidS]

5. I Am Truly Sorry To Hear About What You Experienced

Mr. Raskin is a true Mensch.

A wonderful human being.

It truly shows how bad things can happen to good people.

Only infuriates me even more to see how much he and you have suffered, while complete Degenerates like TFG, continue to lead a life of contentment and peace.

[Demsrule86]

6. I am so sorry.

[Skittles]

8. I will read that book based on your rec, crimycarny

yes we do care, and there is always someone here on DU

[OAITW r.2.0]

9. Sorry for your loss. I cannot begin to imagine what your loss did to your llife,

But thanks for sharing....another reason why I love the Party that I vote and support.

[G2theD]

10. That is so nice of Jamie Raskin.

First, I am always crushed when I hear a parent talking about losing their child, particularly from suicide. I think all of us with children worry about suicide, especially today when things seem so hopeless to so many.

Young people today have burdens we never imagined. I have a trans daughter with Asperger’s and I worry about her every day.

Please accept my condolences on your tragedy.
I know it falls short. It’s all I can do, but wish there was more.

What a wonderful thing that Jamie Raskin did. He is an amazing human being that has also suffered the ultimate tragedy a parent can experience. He is a hero of mine and his talking about his son has helped many people.

Just know that you have a friend if you need one, along with so many others here on DU.
Wishing you the best.

[Bayard]

11. Wow

What a compassionate human being. Especially for a politician. I feel the same way about Joe Biden.

Take care of yourself, crimycarny. I lost my older brother to suicide nearly 30 years ago. I still miss him every single day, even more because he was also my best friend. But as Biden has often said, remember him with smiles now instead of tears. I hope you find that peace. Any time you want to PM me, please do.

[crimycarny]

15. Siblings seem to be the "forgotten" survivors

I’ve been a bit disturbed at the dearth of support for sibling survivors of suicide. My middle son was extremely close to his older brother who died by suicide. I was hoping to find a sibling support group for him but was unable to. Siblings have to grieve the loss of their brother/sister as well as observe the pain of their parents. And often their parents are in such deep pain they can’t be as supportive to their remaining children as they wish (and the remaining children feel guilty for adding to their parent’s pain so suffer in silence).

[Bayard]

41. I remember a line from a Dave Matthews song....

"You should never have to bury your own babies." I hope both you, and your son, can lean on each other. I know it can feel like your heart is going to burst.

I think siblings feel a lot of guilt for not recognizing just how much pain their brother/sister was in. I didn't realize how much my brother depended on me. This happened a month after I moved out of state.

[3catwoman3]

54. "Siblings seem to be the 'forgotten' survivors."

Your above post is so right on the money, regardless of the cause of death of a sibling. My brother and only sib died in a scuba diving mishap when he was only 23, way back in 1978. My mother’s agony was so profound that it felt as if I could not deal with her pain and my own at the same time, so I just shut mine away as much as I could when we were together, and I don’t think I ever broke down completely in front of her.

I hope your middle son can find something/someone to lean on. He may well be feeling the need to be strong for you, and he will need someone who can be strong for him.

Wishing all of you sources of strength and serenity.

[TheBeam19]

12. This is great. Thank you for sharing.

You are honoring your son by sharing this wonderful story with us. I sincerely hope that Rep. Raskin’s act of kindness brings you some amount of peace when you need it.

[CaptainTruth]

13. I'm crying, I am absolutely crying.

Fuck Republicans. Fuck every single one of them.

[applegrove]

14. I love that man.

[Rhiannon12866]

16. What a wonderful human being and an incredibly kind thing to do. He understands like no one else does

Thanks so much for sharing this with us and my profound sympathies to you. Jamie Raskin is in your corner and is also working so hard for the American people.

[grantcart]

17. When you get discouraged because of Trump and MAGA it can look hopeless

And then a guy like Raskin pops up and it is so encouraging


Thanks for the story. Good luck to you and your family.

[crimycarny]

19. The person who would have enjoyed this story the most was my late son

Justin, my late son, was very active politically. Originally a Bernie Sanders supported he quickly got behind Biden once Biden won the primary.

Justin and I discussed politics all the time, he was a fighter for justice for the underdog...way more active than I was.

Justin would have been delighted to know I got a call from Jamie Raskin. Justin would have been first person I would have told. But, of course, he’s not here.

[flying_wahini]

18. I'm so sorry for your deep loss but glad to see he brought you some comfort.

He seems like that too when I hear him speak. A man with such a tender and sweet heart.

[LetMyPeopleVote]

20. This post brought tears to my eyes

First, you have my deepest condolences for the loss of your child. I cannot imagine the pain that you have gone through

I have watched several interviews of Congressman Raskin describing the loss of his son. The fact that this man was able to attend the Jan. 5 joint session of congress was amazing to me. I would be sitting shiva for the entire month if I was in his place. The fact that Congressman Raskin called you does not surprise me. Congressman Raskin is a genuine human being who cares.

I agree with you that Congressman Raskin in the real deal.

Thank you for sharing this story.

[sheshe2]

21. Okay.

You just made me cry.

I also want to offer my sympathies for your loss, crimycarny.

Peace.

[Laura PourMeADrink]

22. Thanks for sharing. Your loss is so much bigger than

any politician. I am so so sorry.

[BigmanPigman]

23. I can't picture any GQP leader doing the same and really

meaning it. They talk the talk but reps like Jamie walk the walk. Very few GQP would ever consider such behavior since they are so self absorbed and MEAN!

[soldierant]

50. I can't imagine aGQP leader doing the same

even just as a vote getting measure And they couldn't pull that off anyway, even if they tried with both hands for a month.

[riversedge]

24. Peace to you and your family.

[electric_blue68]

25. So sorry for such a loss! How empathetic that Rep Raskin contacted you

[AntivaxHunters]

26. What an awesome story!

Thank you for sharing this with us

[Novara]

27. I am so sorry for your pain and the pain your son must have been in

Sometimes it does feel unbearable. But as you said, you have the love and support of many, many people. I wish your whole family peace and healing.

Thank you for sharing this. Jamie Raskin is indeed a good, good man.

My congressperson is always telling people they can reach out to him. I haven't had a reason other than to voice my political concerns and to thank him for some of the good things he's done, but its a wonderful thing to know that some of them really do represent us and care about us. That's the way it should be.

[Lonestarblue]

28. I so wish you some peace. Losing a child is hard.

And how wonderful for Jamie Raskin to call you. One of the biggest differences I’ve always seen between Democrats and Republicans is that most Democrats really care about people and whatbis happening to them while Republicans just don’t care what happens to anyone but themselves.

Please take it easy on yourself, and I hope each day gets a bit better.

[badhair77]

29. Thank you for sharing this experience.

It’s inspiring to read about this kindness first thing in the morning. I hope you are uplifted by more acts of compassion as you grieve. I wish you peace.

[Alice Kramden]

30. Condolences on your loss

And thanks for sharing this amazing story. May the kindness and love of those around you provide a balm to your heart

[Stuart G]

31. Jamie is a class act. Just like Joe. Kindness is an incredible characteristic of some Democratic

leaders. And many of our "non leaders" too.

Sorry for your loss.

[FakeNoose]

32. Thanks for sharing this story

I read Jamie Raskin's book and absolutely loved it. I've recommended it on DU several times to different DUers.

The loss of a child to suicide must be the most awful thing any parent can endure. I can't imagine the pain those parents (including you) must feel. However Mr. Raskin's book really puts those feelings into words, and it helps us to understand the process of healing.

Grief is different for everyone, and no one else can tell you the right way to grieve for your son. You'll never forget him of course, but in time the pain of his loss will subside.

May you and your husband find solace in your memories from happier times.

[Deep State Witch]

34. Oh, Wow!

That is amazing. Jamie Raskin is the real deal. I wish we had been redistricted into his district. So sorry for your loss.

[Farmer-Rick]

35. It's nice to know that good people are appreciated

I have just been dragged over the coals and it's good to hear about the good sometimes.

[Chainfire]

36. Thank you for sharing that story.

It improved my day.

[SheltieLover]

37. Deepest condolences

[DemUnleashed]

38. My deepest condolences

I am very sorry for your loss

What a sweet story you posted though...and what a sweet man Jamie Raskin is!

[murielm99]

39. You are making me cry.

I am crying for you, and for Jamie Raskin.

[JudyM]

42. Same here. The depth of sorrow endured, and the poignancy of humanity...

[H2O Man]

40. Recommended.

Thank you for posting this. I have rarely cried in my adult life, being a product of a generation that grew up with fathers who said, "Quit your crying, or I'll give you something to cry about." I had five family members die in the past 18 months, and not a tear. But this hit me in a way that has them flowing.

[calimary]

44. Thanks so much for this, crimycarny.

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Words seem so - well - useless. Your son. I can’t even imagine the pain of that. I’m touched and impressed that Raskin would reach out to you. You share quite a bond. An unwantable bond, to be sure, but a bond nonetheless. Obviously he thinks so, too.

[yellowdogintexas]

45. we survivors do share a bond that others just can't comprehend

maybe a sudden loss due to a murder or accident comes close but suicide is different.

Rep Raskin is truly honorable man. I adore him.

Now I have to read his book. Even after so many years since my father's suicide, there are still times something like this book would be good to have.

[LymphocyteLover]

46. OMG!!! Wow. Thanks for sharing that.

[napi21]

47. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Jamie is one of a very few Senators who aren't corrupt and out

for their own interests over anything else. I always listen when he's speaking in the Senate or on TV. I hope he can instill some of his character to the other asses there.

[zipplewrath]

48. Stuttering

I'm reminded of Joe's reaction to stuttering children. There are issues that will hit them very close to home. Don't abuse it, but don't avoid reaching out when it's appropriate. He'll appreciate as much as you might need it.

[sellitman]

49. Not many posts make me well up.

Yours did for a number of reasons. A few friends of mine have lost their children. Years ago we came close to losing ours. I think about them often because of what we went through.

We were so very lucky.

Your story is amazing.

I will have to read his book now and send the title to my friends too.

Hugs to you.

[mvd]

51. That's so wonderful

Raskin is a very kind, caring person. I am so happy he talked to you. Recommended. Nothing will will ease the pain of your son’s death, but kind acts like this are great to hear about.

[malaise]

52. How lovely that he called you

[tazkcmo]

53. You're not alone.

[budkin]

55. I'm so unbelievably sorry

I cannot even imagine the pain.