How does The Onion always know?

[True Dough]

From 2017:

[dalton99a]

1. Kick

https://www.businessinsider.com/trump-once-revealed-secret-nuclear-weapons-system-book-2022-8

[dchill]

2. Sources were "surprised Trump had disclosed it."

Really? They'd had 3 years at that point to see him in action.

[peppertree]

4. +1

Next, they'll say they're surprised he made money off the information.

Prince Jared didn't collect $2 billion (or more) for nothing.

[Tender hopper]

6. Javanka, Two **** BILLION!!!!! Dollars, Gulf Oil Shieks wanting nukes to threaten Iran with, and

Javanka, Two **** BILLION!!!!! Dollars, Gulf Oil Shieks wanting nukes to threaten Iran with, and Daddy holding boxes and boxes of stolen classified information.
What could be wrong there? I hate corruption.
I'm sure that our intelligence services are burning the midnight oil on that one.
To go one step deeper into the quagmire: Fixing this may explain why Joe had to make that odd visit to MBS.

[Lonestarblue]

10. In 2019 it was revealed that Trump had transferred US nuclear technology to Saudi Arabia.

Republicans said at the time that there was nothing wrong with Trump giving away US nuclear technology!

“In 2019, Senate Democrats said the administration had approved the transfer of nuclear technology to Saudi Arabia on at least two occasions following the killing of U.S. resident and Washington Post journalist Jamal Khashoggi, allegedly at the hands of a Saudi-linked kill squad, in Turkey.

These transfers were not revealed to Congress by Trump Cabinet officials until months after they took place.

Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, who has accepted responsibility for the killing of Khashoggi (although he says he was not directly to blame), said in March 2018 that the kingdom would create a nuclear weapon to counter a perceived nuclear threat from Iran.

Republican staff of the House Oversight Committee said in July 2019 that there was no wrongdoing in the transfer of nuclear technology to Saudi Arabia.

Democrats previously alleged the Trump administration may have broken federal laws and guidelines in its numerous transfers of U.S. nuclear technology to the Middle Eastern country and was "rushing" the transactions.“

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/other/trump-classified-nuclear-files-saudis-what-we-do-know-what-we-dont/ar-AA10ByrF

[rampartc]

14. say "iran" all they want

the saudis were in 9/11 up to their turbans.

[DENVERPOPS]

11. He also tweeted

pictures he had taken, of some of the Top Members of Seal Team Six, to all his followers, making them useless for any future missions now that their faces were known.........

And he told China in a public speech, the precise location of a U.S. Nuclear Sub parked off the China coastline......

[Chili Pepper]

3. The Onion usually comes up with some pretty outrageous (and funny) stories

But we’ve seen that no story is truly outrageous when it involves Trump

[NNadir]

7. Yeah, nobody would have believed this stuff to even be possible before 2015.

[Upthevibe]

5. Kick. N/T

[Turbineguy]

8. The Onion

actually runs the country. But don't tell anybody.

[True Dough]

9. Might become a third party sometime

I voted for The Onion because The Onion is omnipotent!

[Turbineguy]

13. The Deep State is revealed

by peeling back the layers of the Onion.

[LudwigPastorius]

12. Satire died way back in 1973.

...when Kissinger won the Nobel Peace Prize.