One of life's great mysteries solved while shaving this morning.
(as background information, I will tell you I attained my three score and ten earlier this year.) My wife had been hounding me that I was several days late on getting my Fall shower. So, I stepped into the rain locker for a suds and scrubs. In for a penny, in for a pound, I decided to shave while I was at it.
Since I was seeing myself in the mirror for the first time in a while, I was reflecting on my reflection. It is much different from when I was a young man, and the changes aren't very positive. I was never a movie star type, but I ranked somewhere above homely; I was at least good looking enough to snag a beautiful and smart woman for a wife.
I noted several items related to my fall from beauty; a lot of it to do with hair. I once had a great mop of ash blonde hair, now I have a nice big round bald spot on top. Blonde has turned to white, but that is not a big change. My eyebrows stand out. What was once an orderly growth has turned into a chaotic entanglement. The thinning hair is now growing in all sorts of directions and at different rates, so that now and then I will find one that is a inch and a half long and growing straight up. Hair, that no longer grows on the top of my head, hasn't really gone away, but now grows in and on my ears and in my nose.
Now that you can get a general picture, I will get to the epiphany: I think that I know the root cause of these changes. Since I am much wiser than I was as a young man, I have far greater knowledge than I did when I was first married. I still think that I maintain a good sense of humor and some humble charm, and I have a lot more available money that I did when I was young. Had I regained my youthful beauty, I would be irresistible to women of child bearing age. The mechanism of aging assure that we will be so ugly that that no woman wants to come near us with loving on their minds. It makes sense, because if I was fathering children now, I would not be around to see them to adulthood. It is nature's way of protecting the two parent system of raising a family. I certainly don't imply that a single parent can't successfully raise a child, but four hands and two incomes are easier than two and one.
Now, will tell you that there are things in play here that support my theory, and it is mainly things that aren't in play any more. I am pretty sure I still have a Penis, although I can't see it over my gut, but half of its former function is gone. About the only thing it is good for is keeping me from peeing on my feet about 20 times a day.
I don't read much anthropology and I am not sure if this has come to the attention of writers before, but I thought that I needed to share it while I was still able.
= new reply since forum marked as read
and I, of course, am just going to take your word for it - because none of what you relate has, or ever will, happened to me ....
(you in the back - "Stop it!" )
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.... with all the odd hair growth sprouting out of unexpected areas,.. except the top of the head.
When hair starts growing out of the palms of your hand and the bottom of your feet - you know for sure you are in the old geezer phase of your life.
You have a delightfully humorous approach to your writings.
need to express themselves as individuals it is plucking time! 
Firm rule: avoid fluorescent or any artificial lights at all costs.
wives still see you guys as that handsome dude with the blonde hair and no tummy. Hang in there. Life is a joy! 
Outside might be chilly, plus we don't want you catching a cold.
That is unless you wanted to write about it.
