Why do you quit the Catholic Church in 1976 at 17?

[Kath2]

From feminist.org - 1976.

Pope Paul VI cautioned women to be on their guard against movements for equality that run the risk of “masculinizing” and “depersonalizing” them. Vatican observers said the Pontiff’s remarks were aimed at women’s liberation movements allegedly advocating divorce, abortion, and promiscuity. (01/31/76)

Roman Catholic Bishop Leo T. Maher of the San Diego Diocese openly admitted that the proposed amendments to the Constitution would bestow personhood at fertilization and would outlaw the Intra Uterine Device (I.U.D.). He asserted that women who used I.U.D.’s would be regarded as “murderers.” (01/28/76)

Don't strive for equality? So I would be a murderer? BS. Goodbye.

[Faux pas]

1. I

quit at 13 when it dawned on me that if "god was all knowing and all forgiving" why was I confessing my "sins" to some guy on the other side of the partition?

I'm a female also

[Kath2]

3. Thank you. Very cool.

You were years ahead of my awakening.

Peace!

[Faux pas]

5. We

all have awakenings at different times. I forgot to say that I was also tired of being told that kissing was a mortal sin.

Peace Love and Joy to you Kath2

[Kath2]

9. YES!

Kissing is a mortal sin. So ridiculous.

Peace and Love to you, dear. Let's not be strangers here on DU. Thanks and much love!

[Faux pas]

66. We

survived despite it all. I'll be watching for more of your threads

[ProfessorGAC]

6. 13 Here, Too

I'm male, though.
I was a big shot altar boy at a huge cathedral school. After 8th grade, j decided this stuff was tall tales and that I'd been to church enough for a lifetime.
Got married in church, but that was about the parents & the cool wedding photos.

[Faux pas]

67. Whoa!

An alter boy? You were a big shot as far as I was concerned. Good to know that alters boys can escape too.

[ProfessorGAC]

68. At That School For Sure

All that high masses around the holidays, (the bishop's church after all), the huge choir, the basketball court sized altar in a 35,000 square foot church, and 1,300 students in the school!
I didn't consider it an escape though. It wasn't rebellion as much as fatigue from overexposure. I just had enough, even though I was still just a kid.
My parents were smart enough to know they couldn't force me to go to church, so they didn't try. A few looks of disdain the first few Sundays, then nothing.
That's why I can't consider it escape. It was too easy.

[albacore]

2. I was an altar boy...

(No, I was never molested... I was a really ugly kid )
It was puberty that drove me away from the church.
They kept saying all that sex stuff was bad.
I figured that if a whole church was that fucked up... I didn't want any part of it.

[ProfessorGAC]

8. My Dad Was A Seminarian

After his first year of college, he decided the "no women, no marriage" thing was a "no way".
Got drafted 3 days after he got back home. That's how committed he was to leaving.

[Hortensis]

55. An altar boy NEVER molested? Doesn't that contradict all notions?

Btw, I'm sure you're old enough now to realize that no child is really ugly to grownups, and certainly not from behind.

You were safe for other reasons, which you also would know. But some enjoy religious-level antireligious fervor to be interested in anything that might calm it. A rough beast that should never be fed?

Just a thought. I've never been religious for a moment in my life, but an evil twin in the form of religious-level antireligious zealotry isn't in me either.

[myohmy2]

4. +1...

...

[Just A Box Of Rain]

7. In 1976 I had a good summer job at a medical laboratory working nights

prior to going off to college.

I got friendly with my co-workers and we'd sometimes go out together socially.

One night one of my colleagues opened up about how he'd been sexually abused by a Priest.

I was not Catholic (lifelong seculararist here) but I was quite shocked, as this was unthinkable behavior for a "man of God" from my perspective.

But I believed him. I knew he was telling me the truth.

In the intervening years, as the scandals unfolded, I often reflected on that first revelation.

Such pain.

[Kath2]

10. That is so painful and horrible.

I cam't convey the contempt I have for that organization.

[Just A Box Of Rain]

11. Yes, painful and horrible.

I remember like it was yesterday the way this young man broke down as he revealed "his secret."

I knew what he was saying was true. What I didn't know was just how far this pattern of behavior went.

What a shame.

[Kath2]

13. That is so sad.

I never experienced any physical issues but I found the religion to be very flawed.

[Just A Box Of Rain]

15. I've never been religious, but have always found the traditions and beliefs of different faiths

interesting to me on an intellectual level.

Almost all my friends growing up were either Catholic or Jewish.

I'd get the rundown on the weekly catechism classes from by best friend--who was surprised I found it interesting. I attended mass enough times that I could "fake it."

I had nothing against Catholicism. That made this revelation all the more shocking to me. It sounds highly naive now, but this seemed like unthinkable behavior to me. And that's for one errant Priest, not a multitude.

I just don't know.

[Kath2]

17. Nor do I.

I became associated with catholic priests Phil and Daniel Berrigan when I was in college. They were peace activists. Many catholic nuns were also involved in anti-nuke and anti-war activities. They participated in civil disobedience and went to prison for it. I still admire that.

[Just A Box Of Rain]

21. I remember my parents--who were essentially deists--but were from old-line Protestant ancestry

but were from old-line Protestant ancestry (and also very passionate liberal Democrats), admired Dorothy Day of the Catholic Worker Movement. My mom especially.

That was the Catholic ideal for me. And Pope John, who my mother also deeply admired.

And then, of course, then came Phil and Daniel Berrigan. Back to 67. I remember.

Do you know the artist (former Nun "Sister Corita&quot later known as Corita Kent?

Family lore has the story that as a very young child I was with my family at an art opening where I evidently took hold of Sister Sister Corita's fingers. And I wanted to hold it, for a long time. And she evidently took joy and that and didn't pull away and we had a moment.

My views of Catholicism were more through a lens of social justice and other aspects I admired.

Made it harder.

[Kath2]

23. Do not know of that sister.

But I will research it. Thanks!

[Just A Box Of Rain]

24. When you see her graphic artwork you may recognize it

?itok=EDblGDzJ

[littlemissmartypants]

29. I have had this poster since forever...❤️

[Just A Box Of Rain]

31. Nice!

I met her again when I was a little older and she remembered our first "meeting." LOL

I love this poster. Very nice!

[littlemissmartypants]

43. ❤️

[Kath2]

34. I love it!

Beautiful.

Thank you so much!

[littlemissmartypants]

44. You're welcome, Kath2. ❤️

[catchnrelease]

32. I loved 'Sister Corita'

I was in awe of her amazing work as a budding artist in those days. I was in Catholic schools, so the nuns really highlighted her work. Our art classes in high school were pretty rudimentary, but one year we did get to do a ton of silk-screening due to her influences. She was awesome and you're lucky you got to have contact with her in that moment!

[Just A Box Of Rain]

35. Evidently I was good at "catch," but not so good about "release." LOL

She was good, right? Loved her work. I also ended up doing silkscreen prints.

I'm sure Sister Corita had an influence on that.

Very cool.

[catchnrelease]

39. LOL

Yes she was. And I lived (still do) in So Cal, so her influence on the local religious orders was really strong I think. Her work hung in most if not all of the classrooms of the high school I went to. I think the nuns felt excited that a woman, vs always the priests, was getting notoriety and bringing such a great message of peace and love to the masses (no pun intended!). I remember it was big news when she left/was pushed out of her order by pressure from the diocese. But I think it must have been really freeing for her to get out from under that repressive world.

[old as dirt]

49. I remember them from grad school.

Especially Phil and his wife Liz (and kids) at Jonah House. (Dan would show up occasionally, but he was based in New York.)

In fact, I had Phil as a cellmate on more than one occasion. I'll always treasure those memories.

Here's a Charlie King tune about the Plowshares 8 action, the first of many.

The Hammer Has To Fall

[Kath2]

50. Thank you so much.

I used to go to Jonah House often when I was attending Loyola College. A professor there was a good friend of Phil and his wife.

[old as dirt]

58. Ha! You were just up the street from me.

I was a grad student at JHU.

[Kath2]

59. That is so cool!

JHU, Notre Dame and Loyola were so close together!

[electric_blue68]

12. (as an Ex-Catholic myself) It's Not the only Religious Institution that has it's...

it's faith leaders be sexualy abusive to children, tweens, teens.

[womanofthehills]

80. Priests and sex

A boy’s hand purposely brushed up against my tiny breast in a movie theatre when I was about 12. My immediate reaction was omg I will now have to confess this in confession. Duh!

So when I told the priest a boy touched me - The priest asked me above your waist or below your waist - over you clothes or under - I was horrified and never went to confession again. At my young age I knew it was sick for a priest to ask me this.

Few yrs later, my dad had a book by Bertrand Russell arguing about why there is no god. Read it one day and never went back to church. Definitely freed me up to have sex without guilt - a problem that my long time boyfriend who graduated from a Jesuit run college had to deal with for years.

[Just A Box Of Rain]

81. I'm sorry. It is painful to read that people in a position of trust and authority

act in such a fashion.

Such a violation of decency.

[H2O Man]

14. Recommended.

I was forced to go. But I recognized that most of the priests & nuns we had there were disturbed individuals well before I hit my teens. My brothers & I used to skip mass weekly, without our father knowing, as he went at a different time. I would meet some good priests later in life in the struggle for social justice. But I viewed them as good human beings, rather than "good Catholics."

[padfun]

16. I was an alter boy when it was still a Latin mass.

That was 3rd thru 5th grade. I knew then that it was all bullshit.
We moved to another city, and I left that Catholic school and went to a public school.

After only three for four masses as a regular participant, I quit going. My parents stopped as well so I had no problem.

[padfun]

56. No I wasn't molested.

We had two priests. One drunk and one honest priest who became a monsignor.
That drunk priest would slip us a sip of wine once in a while.

[electric_blue68]

18. I told me dad I wasn't going to church (Ukrainian Catholic) any more when I was 16 (1969)...

I found as a fledging feminist the fact that women couldn't be priests upsetting.

I thought about becoming a Christian, one of my later friends was/is. If I'd found St John The Cathedral (? Episcopal, I think) then - I might have. The first couple of times I went w my sister there (15+ yrs later) for St Francis's Blessing of the Animals Mass (Paul Winter) an saw Women Pastors - like a thrill went up my back!

Do I believe in God... yes, more or less - more like The Power, or Loving Creation; though I've pictured him as in human form off, and on. I've also at sine point used Goddess as a term. Do I believe in Jesus ... yeah, kind of in the sense that he had a way less obstructed channel to The Power. Did he rise from the dead. Maybe.

I can also say as someone who rejected/s the patriarchal nature of Catholism (other religions, too) that esp the second time I saw "The Empire Strikes Back" there are (Including myself) a bunch of Ex-Catholic (maybe certain Christian Mainstream branches, as well) women who resonated with "The Force".

I consider myself to be Spiritual. 🙂

[Kath2]

19. Thank you for your perspective.

Gives me a few things to think about and consider. I appreciate it,

[electric_blue68]

26. Ah. Well, you're welcome and thanks, then. 🙂👍

[Swede]

20. In grade 3 at the age of nine, attending mass Friday afternoon was no longer mandatory.

I never went back. This was in the sixties.

[Archae]

22. I dumped all religion from my life because of one simple reason.

No evidence.

None.

Used to be that anyone not a Christian would be jailed, tortured and/or murdered.

Nowadays, they don't do that, (at least not that I know of,) but they say, "Hey, everything we say is true! Just take our word for it, and just ignore the evidence that says we're full of it."

If someone wants to be religious, no skin off my nose, no problem.

It's the Fundys that cause so much havoc.

Fundys from any and all faiths.

[Me.]

25. I Quit When I Was 6

and the nuns told me my mom was going to hell because she said some swear words. I could not understand/believe God would do that to my mother. And while I continued to go to church as demanded I was done with them.

[Joinfortmill]

27. That's about when I quit. I was 27. In truth

the Church quit me.

[SouthernLiberal]

28. My exit from the Catholic Church was slower

But after one night in high school, it was inevitable. Not that I new it at the time. I was attending a class at my church. The teacher explained to us that if a man raped a woman, he had committed the sin of having sex outside of marriage. His victim had committed the same sin, but had also committed the offense of being an occasion of sin. The man clearly would not have raped her unless she had made herself attractive to him. With quite a few questions, he made it clear that he was saying what he seemed to be saying. Being raped is a worse sin than raping someone. It took maybe 15 years, but that might was the start.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

30. I remember questioning at the age of 7, what I was being taught.

I kept my doubts to myself then. Nearly a decade later I had fights every single Sunday with my mother who insisted I go to mass.

I'm one of six children, and no later than 1990 not a single one of us was still a practicing Catholic.

And it's not just Catholicism or even Christianity. It's that every single church of any kind insists that it, and it alone, has The Truth. Even the most benign, gentle, and encompassing of churches. They are still essentially saying "We know The Truth and you can only obtain salvation with us."

I understand that Judaism has a somewhat different message, but it still boils down to "We have The Truth". Same with Islam. I know almost nothing about the non-monotheistic religions/beliefs. I hope they are not as dogmatic and judgemental, but I simply don't know.

Added on edit: I actually have my own personal strong beliefs about things like the afterlife. I'm not about to attempt to convince anyone that what I believe is The Truth. I recognized that it is simply what I believe.

[BOSSHOG]

33. I got tired of being extorted

Gangsters say, nice store ya got there. Be ashamed if something happened to it.

Catholic hierarchy tells one and all, you have to go to church at least once a week and bring us as much money as you can or you will burn in hell for eternity.

I was an altar boy in the 60s (not by choice.) I was well groomed, punched all the tickets. As time went by I discovered my church was a money grubbing crime family. With sexually abusing priests who had been told at an early age that sex was out of your future. And I do believe that the alignment of Catholics and republicans pose a currently weak threat to our democracy. But a threat nonetheless.

I’d rather know then believe. But I do believe if Jesus came to earth, I know he’d whip some Christian ass profiting from his name. What a cute catechism subject huh? An enigma wrapped in a conundrum served on a tortilla.

You Go Girl!

[Kath2]

37. Thank you.

It was way too regressive for me at that time. And I have never missed it.

[dcmfox]

36. I'm 60 and quit in 1974

I was an Alter boy and my Mother was a CCD teacher. I just woke up one day and told her I thought religion was baloney and maybe attended two Midnight masses at Christmas.

After the child abuse was revealed my mother also quit the church which shocked the entire family.

40 years later or so seeing all the abuse and the movie "Spotlight', looks like I was correct.

My Mother passed away at 91 in 2018, about 45 days before as she lie in her hospital bed a priest walked by and asked if everything was ok, big mistake.

It was one of the most epic things I ever saw my mother do, she reamed that Priest for 2 hours about that, I was so stunned I didn't record it.

Here's to ya Ma!!!

[BOSSHOG]

38. I chuckle when the church

Attempts to shame people who only go to Mass at Christmas. My wife and I go to church at Christmas for the same reason we go the the county fair. To see the sights. Our big ole Catholic Church (with all its riches) in our small town puts on an incredible display at Christmas. A new rectory (mansion for one person) money to codify religious beliefs, non stop grooming machine and me not on their mailing list. I spent decades in the military and I’m enjoying my freedom. So are those who oppose liberty and Justice for all.

[niyad]

51. There were the "hatched, matched, and dispatched" catholics. . .those who were

only in church to be baptized, married, and buried. And the priest after christmas mass saying, "for those of you whom I won't see until easter, happy new year."

[jerseyjim]

40. I kind faded..

out of the Catholic church in my 20s in the late 60s. Looking back, many of the "teachings" were ridiculous. like all non-Catholics are going to hell. Masturbation is a "mortal sin", right up there with murder. They seem obsessed with "dirtiness" of reproductive mechanisms and their use or abuse. I think the study of physics and engineering in college threw more water on it. I became less of a "believer" and more of a critical thinker. One of the best things that happened to me is that my mother pulled me out of Catholic school and transferred me to the public school in second grade because she suspected child abuse.

It's a long story, but I am quite happy having extricated myself from, what I though was a sort of cult. Indeed, I was not treated well, and I was much happier having left.

I feel very comfortable, not following what the Pope and clergy says. I've excommunicated myself and do not carry all the guilt that Catholics are taught to shame themselves into.

[Kath2]

57. When I was told at 14 that I would go to hell for smoking cigarettes.

That was hilarious and ridiculous.

[niyad]

41. I was 18 and got ex-commed for daring to challenge the pope over his

encyclicals, "humanae vitae", and "populorum progresso" (1968). The archbishop did not like being challenged by an 18 year old female.

They had no clue that I wss already out the door.

[Kath2]

47. Very cool.

1968. You were ahead of your time!

[littlemissmartypants]

42. Raised Unitarian but we moved and started going to the Presbyterian Church.

I was really active, worked in the nursery, youth program and when I was deemed old enough, taught 3rd graders Sunday School class. We had Bible study at our house on a rotation.

After I went to college, I lost interest. Then my niece was born and supposed to be a Catholic but I was the only one who took her to mass. She hated getting up early on Sundays and eventually we traded Jesus for Sonic the Hedgehog and played video games together every weekend until she hit Jr High and outgrew me.

I miss those days. Way more fun than mass! ❤️

[DEbluedude]

45. I was about ten years old.

I asked a nun why only Christians got into heaven. What about Muslims, Buddhists and other religions? She about beat the shit outta me. Couldn't tell mom or dad or I'd get it again at home. I thought then, WTF?

Also, that sex is the most disgusting, heinous, dirty thing that there is on earth. AND, you should save it for the one you marry.

[Kath2]

48. I was stupid enough to marry a church-going Catholic.

And of course he cheated on me and I divorced him. Their hypocrisy is enough to make one gag.

[sarisataka]

60. Wasn't that same mistake

Made by Jill Biden? Marrying a church-going Catholic?

[old as dirt]

46. I've been an atheist as far back as I can remember.

No reason in particular that I can put my finger on, although I was baptized Catholic.

Maybe it had something to do with my liking math. Who knows?

[malaise]

52. I quit long before 76

Eff all religions.

[Kath2]

54. Love it!

[Retrograde]

61. A number of reasons

I started going through the Nicene Creed and found that I did not believe most of it and therefore it would be hypocritical to attend Mass and attest to it. I was peeved that as a young woman I was not allowed to be an altar boy - even though I knew their parts by heart, both in English and Latin. Then there was the way the nuns in the parish were treated: they taught school and cleaned the church for essentially no pay, and had to have food drives to help them eat - while the priests each had new cars on a regular basis, a housekeeper, and generally lived the good life in their rectory. The women of the parish were expected to be married and bear children: we were told that God would never give us more than we could cope with. The priests were not to be questioned - about anything (the parish was largely 1st and 2nd generation Americans, from a background where the parish priest was usually the only literate person around). I decided I didn't like being regarded as a lesser human being and would not voluntarily belong to an organization that treated me as such.

[Sky Jewels]

62. Good decision!

The Catholic Church is a festering ass boil upon the planet. It stands for propping up the patriarchy, oppressing women and gay people, enriching a handful of Vatican poohbahs to the tune of untold billions, fleecing the gullible of their money, and enabling and covering for pedophile rapists. Plus, even as mythologies go, the Jesus story is particularly ludicrous and convoluted -- the savior was born 2022 years ago in a 14-billion-year-old universe and he is the product of the cruel sky god's rape of a young virgin girl and he's somehow his own father and he's undead and will return to Earth aaaaany day now ... .

[Kath2]

63. Love it!

That is perfect. I would like to memorize that for future conversations. Thank you.

[sarisataka]

64. Could you possibly imagine

A modern country electing a leader who was so gullible as to believe this foolish nonsense? What would such a nation look like?

[Sky Jewels]

65. A lot of people have been brainwashed since childhood.

Especially the over-50 set. So of course there are many of them in power.

Many very smart people have the ability to compartmentalize their thinking. It's been drilled into them that "faith" (literally, "belief without evidence" ) is a virtue. So they believe that the laws of science control the universe, but somehow, simultaneously, a magical-supernatural realm and beings exist and the laws of science don't apply to them.

[shrike3]

73. DUers have the ability to compartmentalize, since many of their faves are Catholic.

Last edited Thu Dec 15, 2022, 01:01 PM - Edit history (1)

[shrike3]

70. The United States did. Biden is a devout Catholic.

[sarisataka]

71. Yes they did

And he is a devout Catholic.

He's also a Democrat and IMO a very good President.

[shrike3]

72. Many DU faves are devout Catholics.

I always find these threads a little weird for that reason, but I guess most people separate the church from the individual.

[sarisataka]

74. It does not bother me

What any individual believes or does not believe. I do find it odd, however, that some will praise people in one place then belittle them in another with insulting broad brush diatribes.

[shrike3]

75. No offense.

But you did say, "Can you imagine a modern country electing a leader who was so gullible as to believe this foolish nonsense? What would such a nation look like?"

I don't take issue with your opinion, because everyone has a right to one.

[sarisataka]

76. Yes, knowing that it describes the US

Sarcasm doesn't always come thru well

[shrike3]

77. So Biden's a good president despite the fact that he believes a lot of nonsense?

Again, no offense; you've the right to your opinions.

[sarisataka]

78. I was replying sarcastically to the poster

Who said

The Catholic Church is a festering ass boil upon the planet. It stands for propping up the patriarchy, oppressing women and gay people, enriching a handful of Vatican poohbahs to the tune of untold billions, fleecing the gullible of their money, and enabling and covering for pedophile rapists. Plus, even as mythologies go, the Jesus story is particularly ludicrous and convoluted -- the savior was born 2022 years ago in a 14-billion-year-old universe and he is the product of the cruel sky god's rape of a young virgin girl and he's somehow his own father and he's undead and will return

I cannot fathom why, if that is what someone believes about Catholics, they would vote for a Catholic candidate under any circumstances.

[shrike3]

79. Ah. My apologies. It can indeed be hard to do sarcasm in here.

Last edited Thu Dec 15, 2022, 01:02 PM - Edit history (1)

Yes, there is a very weird dichotomy in here regarding loved Catholic politicians and opinions of the Church. Though maybe that's just a reflection of life's complexities.

Have a very good day.

[sarisataka]

82. No worries

And no offense. As I say, I take no offense at that opinion either. If anything I pity a person with so much hatred in them.

I have long reconciled my knowledge of science and my belief in "magic". They two have dovetailed quite well and I have no issues living in a universe that obeys the laws of science and knowing there exists of something greater than that.

[shrike3]

69. Still Catholic. As are Pelosi, Biden, AOC, Debbie Dingell, Jackie Speier, Joaquin Castro, Ted Lieu

Cory Booker, Maria Cantwell, Dick Durbin, Tim Kaine, Patrick Leahy. (Plus some odious Republicans.)

I respect everyone's reasons for leaving. Everyone should do what is best for them. However, I always experience a bit of cognitive dissonance when these threads come up, because a lot of DU's faves practice what some consider a "festering boil" upon the earth. That's all.