UK writer re: Meghan Markle: This is why, for a Black woman, being called a "bully" is triggering

[pnwmom]

https://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/article/meghan-markle-racism-lessons

After an explosive trailer dropped for Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's interview with Oprah Winfrey, Buckingham Palace announced that they’re investigating allegations of bullying against the Duchess of Sussex by former royal staff from around two years ago. Now, not only is the timing very suss, there are severe nuances of racial discrimination here, and we have to address that.

For context, I’m a black woman, and I can tell you first hand how hard it is to create space when you’re the only Black woman in the room, as this is something I’ve had to navigate around most of my life. Being the only black women in the room can be incredibly taxing for one's mental health, and trying to be visible and heard is nothing short of an encumbrance.

SNIP

Being labelled a bully for having a voice is something that many Black women have experienced from a young age. Me included. It’s the oldest trick in the book: ‘she’s too loud, too emotional, too passionate, too outspoken, too angry, too feisty… she’s a bully!’ heavy sigh

The more confident and curious a Black woman is, the more likely she is to carry that badge. It's the worst rite of passage around, that and having strangers touch your hair... If the exact same words and actions came from a male or even a woman from another demographic, it would be interpreted very differently. I can think of many men in power that we can actively see bullying people in public. (Insert Piers Morgan, Donald Trump and Lawrence Fox to name a few) . I most certainly have been labelled a ‘bully’ at really unwarranted situations, and it was a general consensus amongst my friends that actually, we all have. . . .

[H2O Man]

1. Recommended.

Being Irish, I'm not big on the concept of "royalty." So while I've only seen her a little bit, she seems like a nice enough young adult, and I don't get why anyone who doesn't wear a conehead except to go out on Halloween dislikes her. Disinterested, I get. But it seems like she isn't settling for being who they are certain she should be, and they own the problem. And racism is clearly involved, and that problem owns them.

[pnwmom]

2. I read a bunch of reviews before watching the first show, and they were all disparaging.

They were also from the UK, or written in the US by UK reporters. A common theme was that the series contained "nothing new."

LOL. That might be largely true for people who've been immersed in this story all along -- but most of us haven't been. So I found the series worth watching. I even learned some history that I was never taught in school, about the UK's role in promoting slavery all over the world. (And the last episode, covering their time in the US, would have been entirely new. The British press hasn't had any access to them here.)

Speaking of being Irish, when I visited England long ago with some friends, someone asked us where we were going next, and we said Ireland. Why would we want to go there? our questioner said, "Just a lot of blacks." I finally realized he was using the term "blacks" to refer to Irish people, just like my own ancestors -- just as the Brits also call people from India "the blacks."

And they think Americans are the only racists!

[H2O Man]

3. Being Irish, I just might

watch it because of those who seem prone to saying not to.

Two days ago, my son found a site with some hand-written records on our family there from in the 1600s. That's a century older than those I found years ago (though we have others going back to the 1400s). All four of my kids have been there. I am in communication with cousins there, who survived The Troubles. I'm old enough to remember some of the anti-Irish my family experienced in this country. The attacks on this couple and the series at times is the same mindless hatred. Our society is edging towards the saturation point hatred, as every drop causes a ripple that -- as Senator RFK said in South Africa -- forms a powerful wave. Good people need to make more ripples of Good, to form the waves that RFK advocated.

[pnwmom]

5. From my guesses at the background of some longtime DUers,

I think there are more positive responses to Meghan Markle from the Black community than from white people here -- which says something.

And not something good.

I suggest you give the series a go; there's nothing that says you have to watch the whole thing, if you decide it's tedious. With your Irish background, at least you're not starting out as a big fan of the monarchy!

[Celerity]

13. There are posters on other threads openly saying there is no racism involved

As a black woman who grew up in London, I can safely say (and this is despite me having a pretty damn posh upbringing) that if they think the UK isn’t deeply infected with systemic racism, they need to cop a few quid and buy a clue.

[pnwmom]

14. And that's the thing. If a Black person who had a "pretty damn posh upbringing'

felt the racism in the UK, then how much more was it affecting people who didn't come from privileged backgrounds? People like a half-Black woman raised by a single mother.

Some here are suggesting that Markle doesn't look Black, so it can't be racism. WTH? All that does is show how racist the UK is-- that even someone as light skinned as Meghan is subject to the racism, because her mother is Black.

[Solly Mack]

4. K&R

About 10 days ago, one of William's godmothers, who also served as a lady-in-waiting to the late Queen (and later remained as a lady of the court with the new King) resigned her post because of her racist remarks directed to Ngozi Fulani, CEO of a charity, who was at the event to raise awareness about violence against women and girls. The event included many heads of charities whose work involved the empowerment of women, especially women and girls who are most vulnerable (women and girls of color).

This same racist Godmother to the Prince of Wales was also chosen as one of the people to "help" The Duchess of Sussex adjust to royal life.

Now, how does anyone think they went? Exactly.

She was allowed to resign, and the matter dropped.

[pnwmom]

6. I knew part of that story -- I heard about her resignation, and her remarks.

But I hadn't known she'd been chosen as one of the people to "help" Meghan Markle adjust to royal life.

Poor Meghan! But she and Harry are survivors, and I'm glad they found each other.

[Solly Mack]

11. Here is a link that mentions it.

Lady Hussey: Royal aide embroiled in racism row ‘said Harry and Meghan marriage would end in tears’

[pnwmom]

15. Thanks, Solly Mack. nt

[Solly Mack]

19. What I find to be a loss in the whole matter

is that the Duchess of Sussex could have been a bridge had she been allowed to be.

To be young and black and see a face that looks more like you than the usual white faces of the monarch.

Not to inspire dreams of one day being a princess or Duchess but to know this family that symbolizes so much in their country was a little more connected to them in ways it never was before. A small step but still a step forward.

I honestly wouldn't care if Britain's monarchy ended tomorrow but the racism does matter.

The idea that wealthy black people are supposed to somehow experience racism differently than people not so privileged is pure ignorance. That money means you can just suck it up and move on.

Racism harms regardless of wealth. It wounds deeply. Money doesn't take that sting away. It's not a buffer against the cruelty that is racism.

Obama was the most powerful person in America for 8 years and I assure people, he felt that sting. He felt it keenly. Just because it doesn't stop you doesn't mean it didn't leave a mark.

People go on in spite of it. They have to.

[TygrBright]

7. Thanks for posting. Worth reading the whole article.

While it uses the treatment meted out to the Duchess of Sussex as the frame, it's also about the challenges faced by black women in general who are routed into a "no win" box of being silent/conformist or being vilified as "bullying" for asserting equity in social and professional interactions.

It's the same dilemma all women face, but intensified by racism.

And if it makes me very, very tired to see this as a would-be ally, I can only imagine the level of grinding exhaustion black women have to overcome on a regular basis to deal with it as it applies to every interaction they experience.

I have nothing but great respect for the poise and commitment and persistence of black women who deal with this in addition to every other kind of racist, misogynist crap they have to navigate every damn' day. I imagine that the self-discipline and commitment this develops has a lot to do with the amazing leadership skills so many black women have exhibited in so many spheres.

Rock on, sisters, with my humble appreciation of your power.

respectfully,
Bright

[pnwmom]

12. I agree TygrBright -- and with your whole post. nt

[Samrob]

8. 'They" hate us for many reasons. Envy is one of them. nt

[Aussie105]

9. The British are very good at acting out their imagined superiority.

Someone not Anglo-Saxon in origin or appearance, anyone from the (ex)colonies or anyone who doesn't speak English the way they do in the South of the UK.

Another thing they are really, really good at is self-denial at to what they do, and denial if challenged on their racism and imagined superiority.

I like Meghan. She comes across as intelligent and sensitive, and her permanent suntan looks good on her.
But the many 'this is not racism' sticks she was getting beaten with got her down. Understandable.

M and H are better off out of the UK and in a place that is somewhat more tolerant, to be honest.
So are their current and any future offspring.

[AlexSFCA]

10. lovely couple. Monarchy is as toxic as british tabloid media.

it’s fundamentally racist with perpetual implicit bias and innuendo microagression. Meghan Markle is a wonderul human being. Glad they got out from that BS nonsense and now they have a chance at happiness, smart move. Harry becoming a US citizen will be icing on the cake.

[pnwmom]

16. And yet I'm always surprised when DUers turn out to be Monarchy fans

and so they resent Meghan Markle for the same reason some members of the Royal Family do.

[winstars]

17. Great article. I somehow missed it in March 2021...

[betsuni]

18. K&R