Mike Lindell took a knee

[Pluvious]

I now know, we’re all living in a simulation

And there’s a virus running lose in the code

Link to tweet

( there’s some pretty entertaining replies in the thread, heh )

[Deuxcents]

1. And he wants to lead a political party that wants me to believe this madness

No. Hell no

[Initech]

2. The scariest part of all of this is that he thinks he's doing God's will.

Literally nothing good happens when you merge religion and government.

[debm55]

4. He's an asshole, Noticed he didn't say a prayer for President Biden.

[Zambero]

11. At a point in his "prayer list" where that might have occurred, his rambling got even worse

After all, "Republican Jesus" died to save pillow-hugging Republicans only, and not the ones they don't vote for. End of story.

[kskiska]

3. I was in Ollie's today

They deal in discount closeouts and there are loads of Lindell's pillows for $19.99.

[debm55]

5. I saw that in my Ollie's circular. Last time, we were there, they had rows and rows of the copper

kitchen pans. Yes they do sell closeout the no one wants in the regular stores.

[ProfessorGAC]

21. That's Below Cost To Manufacture

That company is overstafffed. So, even though he pays crap wages, the unit burden cost is high, as is SG&A.
The cost to produce is over $25.

[doc03]

6. Oh my Gawd please tell me this is not real nt

[catbyte]

7. Well, the poor students receiving those pillows had better pray because they'll never get a

good night's sleep again if they use those things. True story: I was staying at a friend's house and stayed in her guest room. The pillows were AWFUL. I looked and they were My Pillows. I joked about them the next day and she said, "That's why they're in the guest room."

That's one way to make sure a guest doesn't overstay their welcome.

[brush]

8. I heard they're filled with some kind of little pellets or something?

[catbyte]

16. No, they're pieces of chopped-up foam rubber, very uncomfortable.

[brush]

17. Ahhhh. Thanks.

[Blue Owl]

9. Also great for blow jobs

[debm55]

25. Blue Owl

[TlalocW]

10. The students have to play along

And clap and cheer at the end, but I guarantee that while they've got their heads in their pillows, they're cringing at Mike's amateurish prayer. Those kids are used to the cream of the crop of professional Christians orating in front of them.

[grantcart]

12. Prayer pillow? Does he also have a coke pillow?

[LuckyCharms]

13. Needs more cowbell.

[MichaelSoE]

14. The only knee I would love to see him take, is a knee to his nut sack

[GoneOffShore]

15. Which "Christian 'College'"?

Because there seems to be a lot of 'teh stoopid' in that arena.

[lindysalsagal]

18. This alone should cost the "college" their accreditation

If there even is such a thing.

[Whiskeytide]

19. He's missing a huge marketing opportunity failing to ...

… point out that they can also use the pillow cases as hoods.

[Vinca]

20. What an idiot. If he wasn't just a huckster, he'd be giving pillows to the homeless.

[Tommymac]

22. Sad to see so many misled, budding young humans deceived and being taught by Christo-Fascists.

Don't take this as a knock on real religion, only on cults.

And on child abusers. May they all rot in their own hell.

[Norbert]

23. He attracts more suckers than the bloated Moussolini

Where did this take place?

[DFW]

24. I already wrote the hymn to his prayer pillow (music by Gilbert & Sullivan)

[jmowreader]

26. I said a prayer last night

I prayed with all my might, “Lord, please call Mike Lindell home.”

The Lord answered me, “I don’t want him.”

So I prayed to Satan. I prayed, “Sweet Satan, please drag Mike Lindell down into the fiery pits of Hell.”

The Devil answered me. “Two things. First, this place isn’t a fiery pit. And second, do you think Hell is a dumping ground for scum? He isn’t coming here, I assure you of that.”

I also prayed to Cthulhu. He says he still hasn’t recovered from eating Herman Cain.

So…we’re stuck with him.

[Pluvious]

27. Thanks for sharing your inspired humor :) nt.