So, who wants to tell us that "watching soccer is like watching paint dry"?

[brooklynite]

Was with an NPR reporter who "never watches sports" and she got sucked in completely.

[Celerity]

1. people who claim that simply do not understand football, period, full stop nt

[Joe Cool]

4. Nope

Soccer is pretty much cross country with a ball. The vast majority of the time it is like watching paint dry.

[Celerity]

6. wrong, so wrong

[Joe Cool]

8. Right, right, right

If 3-3 is a high scoring game then it is BORING.

[angrychair]

13. It's a game of strategy and skill

From players that don't get time outs or flip to different teams to take the field.

Most soccer games are over in roughly 90 mins but a 3 hour baseball game is the pinnacle of boredom or watching American football take 45 mins to play a final 2 minutes on the clock. Ugh.

[Joe Cool]

32. Every other game has strategy and skill.

Football has way more strategy than soccer. Not even close.

[mcar]

40. The concept that a high score is the only thing that makes a sport good

is just wrong. Some football scores are low, for example, but it doesn't make the game boring.

Soccer is much more interesting.

[jimfields33]

43. Oh my gosh. Of course the score is the only thing that matters. Nothing else does!

It’s how you win! Lol.

[mcar]

61. 2-1 is a win. LOL

[jcgoldie]

64. If the entire world disagrees with you

Your opinion may be misinformed.

[Joe Cool]

9. If six scores (aside from the shootout)

is considered exciting then soccer is LOL compared to other sports.

[Disaffected]

44. Hockey is often a low scoring game.

Do you also consider it boring?

[Celerity]

53. it's hard to score goals when the teams are fairly evenly matched, or if a lesser team, they go low

block.

A basketball game can have a shedload of scoring and be far from riveting.

Most Americans did not grow up with football (soccer) as the main sport (I did, I grew up in London), thus the lack of knowledge and appreciation versus most of the rest of the world.

Also, there is a lot of hate for mens football, because the US is not very good at it, so people cannot do the typical

[Joe Cool]

11. There are SO many problems with soccer that could be

solved with some simple rule changes to make it a better and more exciting but let’s keep rules from 1863.

One ref for 22 players? That is just plain stupid.
No clock synced with the scoreboard? That is just plain stupid.
Yellow cards that don’t actually mean anything but a change in possession? Again, stupid.
I could go on but I would rather watch paint dry

[Hav]

21. Nice try

There were 9 refs + 2 substitute refs involved in this game.
Yellow cards mean something and can lead to suspensions and ejections.

But keep watching paint dry, just be careful as sniffing in too much doesn't seem to be healthy.

[Joe Cool]

33. There were 9 refs on the field? Nope.

[Joe Cool]

34. A yellow card at the time means NOTHING but a change in possession.

[brooklynite]

57. And getting a SECOND YELLOW card later in the game means...

...you're ejected and your team plays a man down for the rest of the game.

[Celerity]

77. No, again you are dead wrong, as I already explained.

[Joe Cool]

35. Soccer is such a poorly officiated sport.

Because there is ONE ref on the field. ONE. That is just plain stupid.

[Joe Cool]

36. One ref on the field for 22 soccer players.

Seven refs ON the field for the same number of players for football.

Now, tell me how you think only having ONE ref on the field is a good idea.

[48656c6c6f20]

67. So watch your fucking football

And shit on someone else's parade

[ruet]

68. Hold Up Now!

This thread was a specific challenge to DUers to shit on soccer. WTF were you expecting?

[Goodheart]

72. Soccer would automatically be astronomically better if they removed two players from each side

More passing lanes, more fast breaks, more open shots, more saves, more athleticism.... less dependent on luck.

[Celerity]

76. No. Go invent a new game if you do not like football's rules.

As for luck, you make your own, ofttimes.

[Celerity]

75. You don't even understand some of the basic rules, and now you are trying to rewrite a game played

and watched by billions?

There are multiple officials for example, including 2 linesman/women, the head ref, and the 4th official on the sideline between the two teams, plus there is a 3 or 4 person VAR team at a remote location.

The stadium clock is synced to the start of the game, but the head ref usually adds on extra time each half, and that is shown by the 4th official who holds up a board, same one they use for subs.

Yellow cards (called a booking) mean a lot more than what you think. And you can get them for multiple reasons, and often do NOT give possession the other way. They are usually for a bad foul when a defensive player tries to stop the team with the ball, but there are many other reasons they can be given.

2 yellows in one game equals a red card (you can get a straight red too, for a more serious offence) and you are tossed, plus no replacement and often a suspension for the next game or more.

Also, cumulative yellows over multiple matches can get you suspended.

Seeing people (often domestically domiciled Americans) complain about football is what is actually like watching paint dry, especially when they do not even know the basics of the game, which you do not.

[BannonsLiver]

16. That's what people who love baseball say about baseball.

I’ll go out on a limb and guess you’re not much of a baseball fan.

[ProfessorGAC]

46. This Thread Cements It For Me

It's not soccer I dislike. It's soccer fans.
The game is uncomplicated. Being told that we "just don't understand" are condescending & insulting.
They named US pro teams with an insistence on Euro sounding names. Three teams are named "United" when no union needed to take place. Real Salt Lake. ROYAL Salt Lake? Really?
Yeah, it's not the game. It's the "aficionados"

[Goodheart]

73. Don't you love when soccer fans tell you "you just don't understand it"?

As though it's not the most mind-numbing tactics-deprived sport on the planet?

There is NOTHING complicated about soccer. There is NOTHING we soccer non-fans don't understand.

[ProfessorGAC]

79. Oh, There's One Thing

I don't understand why players don't blast shots on goal every time they're remotely open. The perfect shot seldom comes along. The goal is 192 square feet. That's a lot of surface for a goalie to cover if shots are being peppered from everywhere.
TAKE THE SHOT!!!

[Kaleva]

62. It isn't interesting enough to take the time to understand it

It's akin to taking the time to read all threads here about Musk.

[malaise]

63. That simple

Football is life

[Goodheart]

71. Wrong

This match CONFIRMS that soccer sucks.

One half of the regulation play goals were penalty kicks, and then the game gets decided by penalty kicks. So, half of the scoring weren't the result of tactical play and athleticism, just from errors made by defenders... an accidental trip here, an unfortunate bump there.... Soccer lacks scoring from tactics, very much unlike American football where it's fundamental to the game.

And just why was this match extraordinarily exciting for soccer fans? Because there were an extraordinary number of points scored... proving that the 1-0 and 0-0 games very much more typical games are snoozefests.

Not sold, and never will be until there are some substantial changes made.... I can suggest one right off the bat that would make the game a whole lot more exciting: reduce the number of players by two from each team. Suddenly, there will be more passing lanes open, more shots on goal, more saves, and more demand that athletes have to actually rely on athleticism and decision making rather than kicking the ball around aimlessly until the defense makes some sort of error.

[mahatmakanejeeves]

2. I was putting up "holiday" lights, but I did catch the last half of the game.

It was a nail biter at the end.

Soccer is on the TV around DC all the time, but I don't catch it that often.

[48656c6c6f20]

5. I have an idea who would say that

[Joe Cool]

7. The vast majority of the time

Soccer is like watching paint dry. 3-3 before a shootout is exciting? LOL

[joshcryer]

20. Soccer needs a shotclock.

[Joe Cool]

24. Soccer needs about 50 rule changes.

What other sport has pretty much not changed since 1863. Pretty much every other sport tweaks the rules every year in an attempt to make the game better. Not soccer.

[joshcryer]

42. The thing that causes slow pace...

...is the strategy to just hold on to the ball for an hour after making a score.

[Joe Cool]

45. If a team gets up 3-0

the game is over.

[ProfessorGAC]

48. One That Really Bugs Me Is...

...the offside rule. It basically punishes the quickest, fastest players. I'm told it's to prevent poaching. But, I've never heard how poaching would harm the game or why defenses couldn't be devised to defend it.
Besides, offsides could be enforced with a line on the ground. Not by whether a slow to react defender couldn't get to where they should have been

[Joe Cool]

50. The soccer offsides rule is completely stupid.

Offsides in football and hockey have clear and objective measures.

No reason soccer couldn’t have an objective measure like a line across the field at the top of the goalie box.

[Polybius]

52. MLB does a little too much though

Potentially banning the shift in 2023 is BS.

[GreenWave]

10. It is like watching France cry.

[BannonsLiver]

12. Right here, sparky.

[Tomconroy]

14. It was a very exciting game.

[Joe Cool]

17. But still less exciting

than almost any other sport. Two NFL games and two college bowl games yesterday were more exciting.

[Tomconroy]

23. You score more points in American football and that makes it

exciting but I'm quite sure if you count up the time, for the most part people are standing around doing nothing.

[Joe Cool]

25. Watch soccer players who don't have the ball nor are around it.

What does the goalie do over 90% of the time?

[Tomconroy]

28. American football is the ideal sport for bathroom breaks

And watching commercials.

[Joe Cool]

30. Soccer is also the ideal sport for any break.

Yeah, 1-0 is really exciting. Soccer is the sport in which a lot happens but nothing actually happens.

[Joe Cool]

27. There are normally more SCORES in football.

Every NFL going on right now has at least three scores.
You want to compare soccer to basketball? LOL

[Joe Cool]

29. 3-3 is a high-scoring soccer game.

Look at most scores from the World Cup.
BO-RING

[Bev54]

58. We got it. You don't like soccer, you don't have to keep repeating the same thing.

[angrychair]

51. All of those games combined

Didn't have the viewership of the France-Argentina game.
Likely the most watched event of any kind in years if not ever.
I would suspect more than 3 billion people were watching that game today.

[Happy Hoosier]

65. American football....

Has a whole lotta standing around punctuated by short bits of action. Not to mention lots and lots of future brain damage. Nit sure how people can be “fans” of watching those men destroy their brains.

But then again, I find virtually all pro sports to be a snore fest.

[honest.abe]

15. It was exciting but I do wish the winner was not determined by penalty kicks.

Such a weird contrast after 1.5 hours of intense team play. There could much better ways to end a tied game like perhaps suspend the offside rules or remove a player from each team every 15 minutes until someone scores. I think that would be tremendously exciting and showcase individual player skills while still maintaining team play.

[Joe Cool]

18. Soccer has so many issues

but they refuse to change rules from 1863.

[Walleye]

47. I agree. Exciting second half but the ending was an anti-climatic

[GoneOffShore]

19. Never watched until I moved to France. Now I watch it, along with rugby.

American 'football', that's like watching grass grow.

[Joe Cool]

22. Soccer is cross country with a ball.

A lot of running around but nothing actually happens.

[GoneOffShore]

26. You may need this

[Joe Cool]

31. 17 games from the World Cup had 1 goal or no scoring.

If I counted correctly.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

37. No, it's like watching paint dry while drinking mass quantities of beer.

I admire the theatrics of the flop, the near-operatic death scene after getting bumped. They eclipse the wimpy flops of basketball.

In four years, we get to do this again, but there will be beer. American beer, Canadian beer, Mexican beer. It will be epic.

[Joe Cool]

38. Don't insult watching paint dry.

It’s more exciting than a 0-0 soccer game.

[mcar]

39. Not me. I'd much rather watch soccer

than American football.

[Joe Cool]

40. You like 0-0 or 1-0 scores?

[Submariner]

49. They need to up their Flopping acting game

they all go to the ground looking up with wide open mouth, simulating blood curdling scream for the cameras. Then they grab an appendage and hold it, while now looking at the ground covering their face with their hands, so we can no longer see their faces mocking us for believing him. Then they get up, shake off the extreme pain, and play with no limp.

Not good Oscar acting jobs.

[lame54]

54. Paint drying never ends in a tie

[Earl_from_PA]

55. I disagree

Paint drying usually ends with an even finish...

[lame54]

56. Well played

[whistler162]

59. Nah......

paint drying is more interesting any day!

[SYFROYH]

60. The only thing I dislike about futball is the faking of injuries.

It's fuckin pathetic.

[honest.abe]

74. +1

That ruins the game.

[MicaelS]

66. Thank god no more World Cup for 4 years. n/t

[Dysfunctional]

69. I watch football and soccer.

The difference is I watch football after I record it. It takes about 15-20 minutes to watch the entire game. That means that in a fairly even game, no player plays more than 8-10 minutes. I consider watching 15-20 minutes of football for 3 hours boring.

[Music Man]

70. Right on.

I grew up playing and later reffing soccer. I LOVE the sport.

I have grown up listening to soccer bashing all my life. It was old 30 years ago, and it's just lame now.

[Celerity]

78. Especially by people who do not even know the rules and use false claims to bash football.

So glad football normally doesn't get posted in GD. I would have been banned long ago, lololol. I am being good though. Some of these replies would get roasted on a normal football forum, especially my UK ones (I grew up in West London, less than a mile from Stamford Bridge, played girls football for years, and am a huge Chels supporter since I could walk and talk. 💙 Been to so many matches, I miss it terribly now that I live in Stockholm. We also follow AIK (despite living in a Hammarby neighbourhood, lol) here, but it's not at all the same.