A True Holiday Story

[H2O Man]

A true Christmas story from my childhood is one of my children's favorites. I was riding the school bus on the way to the final day before the holiday break. As a first grade student, I was mighty excited by the mere thought of getting free stuff, and my buddies and I were excitedly discussing what we had asked Santa for.

Suddenly, an older kid who was definitely part of our conversation turned around, and said, "There is no such thing as Santa." Outraged, I snarled, "What did you say?" For I could not believe my ears! "There is no Santa," he repeated. "It's your parents."

Now, I had been to Kent's store the evening before. Santa had recognized me as I walked towards him, and we had a great conversation on the True Meaning of the holiday -- the gifts I wanted. I was so excited that I didn't pick up on voice being very much the same as my father's friend, Mr. Vaughn.

"My parents couldn't afford a G.I. Joe, you idiot," I yelled as I left my seat to inflict this kid's reward for such blasphemy. I beat him in his seat, and when he tried moving to the front of the bus, I decked him and delivered blows without mercy. By the time we reached the school, all of the other kids seemed please that I had stood up Santa Claus. My older siblings in particular appeared impressed.

As I reached the front of the bus, the driver told me to head straight to the principal's office. Few things could have made me happier. Along with my faith in Santa, my older brothers had convinced me that the principal had a Spanking Machine for bad little boys. I was certain that I would be treated to watching the kid who dared insult a great American further ponishment.

I proudle entered the office, and was told that Principal Dunbar was on the phone with my mother. I found it encouraging that I could hear him laughing. Everything seemed so perfect -- I was there before the older kid, and would watch when he came in for a good spanking! And I was surely entitled to a generous reward!

Before the older kid arrived to take his whipping, I was called into Inner Sactum of the principal's office, for the very first of what would become dozens of times throughout my grade school career. Principal Dunbar was still laughing, enough so that he had some difficulty getting out his first few sentences: "I know he really upset you, but we don't beat people up. Instead, tell your teacher when you get into homeroom, okay?" I was more than a bit confused, because I considered my attack to have been fully justified. But I nodded my head, and was sent to join my class.

That evening, I fully anticipated my father proudly entering our house after work. Surely some reward would be given! I knew it couldn't possibly be anything as expensive as a G.I. Joe, of course, as we were a poor family. Dad was grinning as he pulled me aside, and began asking why I attacked the older kid. For whatever reason -- I have no idea why -- I yelled, "But he has red hair!" My father noddd his head, and said, "Now son, I'm going to tell you one of the secrets of life. You're young, but I want to tell you -- never make a red-haired Irish girl mad at you And don't start fights at school. Okay?"

I had a good Christmas. Santa brought me a G.I. Joe, along with other presents. And a few months ago, my younger sister sent me a package of things that she found while cleaning out our late mother's house. Included was my first grade letter to Santa.

Peace to you & yours this season!
H2O Man

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. What a great story, my dear H20 Man! I'm lovin' it!

To see how the mind of the child works is always a miracle, and I saw yours here today!

Thank you and a very Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year to you and yours!

[H2O Man]

5. Thank you!

It probably won't surprise you to lear that the "older kid" and I never became friends, though we grew up in the same rural neighborhood! I was willing to forgive him by the time we were teenagers, but he always tried to avoid me.

Wishing You & Ben a very Merry Christmas!

[Saoirse9]

2. I love it

I don't remember when I first learned that Santa wasn't real. But when I was 8 years old, we lived in PA while my Dad was in Vietnam. My grandparents and aunt came to visit for Christmas. We had a red chenille sofa, and I think my aunt was sleeping on it, or on the one next to it. Christmas eve in the middle of the night I woke up and by moonlight I was sure I saw Santa napping on the sofa. I saw his white beard and red suit. I tiptoed back to bed and went to sleep.
I told my siblings about it the next day.

It was probably a white sweater or bathrobe draped over the red sofa. But I had my moment of Santa magic.

[H2O Man]

8. My older brothers

had mastered the art of making "elf prints" on frosty windows. I can't say if they had on the morning of my True Christmas Story, though. But they always did. They had also mastered a bit of baking soda, with foot prints via the monopoly show to convince me of the Tooth Fairy's being real. As our Good Friend Peg noted above,children's reality is fascinating!

When Darren was the age I was in this historic adventure, I overheard him telling Corey that "the only jolly fat man that brings us presents is Dad."

[Saoirse9]

15. Darren was too wise for one so young.

I think our moment of truth as youngsters may have come when we found a huge cache of Christmas present in an enormous box in my brother's closet. They couldn't have done that in any of us girls' rooms because we would have found it immediately. Brother still very young. There was a scene and a threat of "no Christmas presents this year" but they never followed through with the threat.

Maybe my two older sisters told me long before any of that happened. I am too old to remember.

[H2O Man]

20. After I knew

about Santa, I joined my other siblings in resenting our oldest brother's inability to not snope, or yell out what he found. I was kind of reminded of this when, during a period where the boys & I inhabited an apartment, my two little guys approached me with looks of concern on their faces. asked what was up, and they noted there were no presents hid in my closest ..... was everything okay? I said I was keeping them in my parents' attic.

They disappeared into their room for five minutes, before coming out and asking if I could take them over to play at their grandparents? I asked if they meant "play" in the attic? They were surprised I had figured that out!

[Saoirse9]

26. Cute story!! LOL

Kids always think their schemes are ingenious.

[H2O Man]

29. The pair of them

always wondered how I knew what they were up to. Even in their teens, when they were up to mischief.

I remember them listening to music in one's bedroom. When I came in, they turned it off. I asked what they were listening to, as it sounded familiar. They said it was nothing I'd have listened to -- it was David Peel & the Lower East Side Gang. Thus, not only did I explain that David had been part of one of the Plastic Ono Bands, and that I had several of his albums, but that he and I had been friends for years ..... and that I had played with the group at a Woodstock reunion. I think that they then realized I hadn't always been the conservative man they knew as Dad.

I remember they were not interested in listening to a tape of David and Yoko's unrealsed music he gave me, though. After a minute, they begged me to turn it off.

[bigtree]

3. ha!

...sweet story.

[H2O Man]

9. Thanks!

It was your cowboy story that inspired me to write this!

[bigtree]

16. that makes it all the sweeter

...a stew of holiday memories, potluck.

Best wishes for many more, H2O Man!

[H2O Man]

17. And a Happy Holiday Season

to you & yours!

[malaise]

4. Lovely

Merry Christmas to you and yours my friend

[H2O Man]

10. Thank you!

And Merry Christmas to you & yours!

I haven't decorated for the holiday since my kids moved out. But I thought I would this year, as my grandson loves the lights. His mother brought me a tree that I can re-plant this spring, and I've put stuff up in all the downstairs rooms.

[malaise]

14. I decorated my wreath and worked with the ladies two half day s this week

We use the scraps from the Christmas Tree vendors and make these lovely pine smelling wreaths. They now have a thriving seasonal business. 😀

[H2O Man]

18. Very nice!

I remember when I was young, walking out with my father way into the fields and woods to gather the materials he wanted to make a wreath. This was on the farm where he grew up on. That farm is going up for sale now, and my son and daughter-in-law are looking into buying it, as an ideal place to raise my grandson.

[Niagara]

6. I immensely enjoyed reading your defending Santa story.

Peace to you and yours this holiday season, H2O Man!

[H2O Man]

11. Thanks!

I hope that the older kid has forgotten this! Ha!

[SheilaAnn]

7. That was a lovely present for us. Many thanks. n/t

[H2O Man]

12. Thank you!

Happy holidays to you & yours!

[pandr32]

13. Wonderful true story!

When my kids were young they started to hear from other kids that Santa wasn't real and would tell me. I always answered the same (with a look of sadness)--that Santa doesn't come for those who don't believe and that is why he doesn't come for those kids. Whether my kids bought it, or not, they believed!

[H2O Man]

19. That's great!

I wish that I had thought of that when my children were young! The perfect response!

[pandr32]

21. Thank you.

I also used tome zones when my oldest asked how Santa did all he did in one night. I reminded her that when a relative of ours called from across the country it was hours ahead. She thought about it and knew it was so. All I had to do was tell her Santa flew against the time zones to get it all done in one night easy peasy.

[mountain grammy]

22. Haha.. great story..

Merry Christmas to you and the family..

[H2O Man]

23. Thanks!

And to you & yours!

[KS Toronado]

24. Appears you've been standing up for just causes since you were young.

[H2O Man]

27. Thank you!

None of the big kids on the bus were willing to stand up for justice, but they were howling with laughter as they watched me!

[calimary]

25. I had a red-haired boyfriend in college.

Sigh …

I eventually realized that his hair had been just about all I ever found appealing about him. GREAT hair. Too bad he didn’t have a heart to match, especially when I learned the hard way that his heart belonged to any girl who came along and flirted him up at work.

But God … that hair…

[H2O Man]

28. Year back,

a friend who worked at the same mental health clinic told me he considered red-haired Irish women to be the most beautiful in the worlf. Then he added, "But not so much if you anger them!" I almost died lauging, thinking back to my father's life lesson to his first grade son.

[CaptainTruth]

30. Thanks for sharing! Peace to you & yours as well.

[H2O Man]

34. Thanks!

I got to spend Christmas Eve with extended family, including my grandson. Also, a niece & her husband, and their son who is 6 weeks older than my grandson. Watching babies interact was entertaining! And all four of my children & families will be here for Christmas. Can't beat that!

[ms liberty]

31. What a great story. Merry Christmas, to you and yours! n/t

[H2O Man]

35. Thank you!

An old friend who reads DU e-mailed me about one of her experiences on the bus, then at the principle's office. It wasn't as pleasant a time as mine. Ah, school buses ..... I got kicked off in 11th grade, and had a five mile walk from my parents' house to the school. Probably should have behaved better.

[Hekate]

32. Happy holidays and a healthy new year

Love you and your stories

[H2O Man]

36. Thanks!

And happy holidays & new year to you & yours!

(I was on a boxing forum earlier, and told a story from long ago in one discussion. Two apparently younger members said they wanted me to tell more stories. Poor young men likely had no idea what they were getting into!)

[malthaussen]

33. It's shocking, I know...

... but I have absolutely no memory of when I found out Santa Claus wasn't "real." (for a given value of "real" ) It is possible I was never formally informed of this fact. It's not the only supposedly traumatizing rite-of-passage of which I have no memory, maybe I just suppress them all (but if that were the case, I wish I would suppress some of the more embarrassing memories of my life which ambush me without warning). In any event, I don't agree with your father: if we aren't willing to beat up kids for our beliefs, then what are they worth?

Merry Christmas.

-- Mal

[H2O Man]

37. Thank you!

It's curious ..... sometimes late a night, I will remember something I said or did to someone, even back in grade school. A few years back, I contacted one to say I was sorry. But she said she had no memory of it, as it was in grade school, and reminded me that we've been friends forever. I was talking to a good friend the other day, comparing notes on what shits we both were as teens. He said the funny thing is that we had no idea at the time. We thought we were doing just fine!

I would not, however, say I was sorry to the kid I beat up in the OP's story. He deserved it! (grin)

[Kid Berwyn]

38. Thank you for sharing a wonderful moment.

Santa saw what you did, too, H2O Man.



Merry Christmas, Hermano!

[H2O Man]

39. And Merry Christmas

to you & yours!

I like the picture! Clearly, my parents could NOT have afforded any of those!