Post-Mortem Blues

[H2O Man]

"That's why our socieal response to mass shootings has been to wage war on the monsters. We've tried locking the monsters out. We've turned our schools into secure fortresses with metal detectors, bulletproof windows, and impenetrable doors. We've installed high-tech security systems in our workplaces, even stationed police outside our concerts and casinos to spot the monsters before they get in. .....

"It has failed because monsters are not them. They are us -- boys and men we know. Our children. Our students. Our colleagues. Our community. They're walking in and out of the same secure doors we are, past the same armed guards every day, like the rest of us. They're standing next to us as we rehearse for the next shooting. They're reading and watching the same media stories we are. They are not outsiders. They are insiders."
-- The Violence Project, Jillian Peterson & James Densley, Abrams Press, 2021, pages 2-3


This may sound like utter speculation on my part, and I admit that it is something that I can not prove. But I think it is more than a hunch. Over the majority of the decades I have been alive, if a six-year old brought a gun to school and shot his teacher, society would have recognized it as alarmingly abnormal. Yet in 2023, while some of the media covered the story, and numerous citizens were horrified, attention to it faded fast.

I think one measure of how important it is can be found in the silence of republicans. Even they don't feel safe in saying this is no time to examine issues with guns. They aren't calling it mental illness. And the NRA isn't spouting Amendment 2 nonsense.

I was glad to see forum member ShazzieB's OP on the issue:
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100217563467

From ShazzieB's important post here today:
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/parents-wonder-6-year-old-virginia-boy-shot-teacher-backpack-was-searc-rcna65914

Now, one reason for the lack of media attention to this story is because of the kid's age. The police, prosecutors, and school cannot give out many details, and that is a good thing. But that should not close the doors to discussing the larger problem. Plus, the value of ShazzieB's article, that raises questions based upon what facts are known. It is essential to democracy that citizens ask questions, including those that are uncomfortable.

There are a number of internet shows that focus on "true crime." Some are pretty good, others are really bad, and everything in between can be found. I'll focus on why I find some of them worth watching. Guests include lawyers with experience in prosecuting and defending accused criminals, police and prosecutors, criminologists, mental health experts, and a range of intelligent, informed "average citizens."

In a real sense, the internet serves in the manner that the public square did in communities long ago. They offer educational opportunities that do not require tuition or loans, though not the type that go on a resume for any job other than being a good citizen. And we need citizens to understand that there are "at risk" kids in every town and city in America.

On one of the shows I watched on the Idaho murders, a forensic psychologist noted that to really understand what happened there, people should read the book I quoted at the top. I've posted things about the book here, as it is by two brilliant experts on how to stop school shootings. The gentleman on that show noted that the Idaho murders were different from school shootings only in that the killer used a knife.

The below article suggests that he struggled with some issues that are not uncommon among those of adolescent age. His posts are a bit theatrical, another thing common among that age group. And they also detail the general thoughts of the majority of mass, spree, and serial murderers in their school years.
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/01/13/us/idaho-murders-bryan-kohberger.html

It was when Senator Robert F. Kennedy ran for president that I first became familiar with this Albert Camus quote: "Perhaps we cannot this world from being a world in which children are tortured. But we can reduce the number of tortured children. And if you believers don't help us, who in the world can help us do this?" For me, Kennedy's attempt to confront this quote through a dedicated personal effort is the exact definition of what the Democratic Party is, at its very best.

For it is not only the troubled kid in school who suffers. It is every student who witnesses a school shooting. It is the families, friends, and communities where these horrors take place. And it is the patrolmen, for example, that first entered the Idaho house and found four dead students.

In recent decades, we have witnessed Democrats focusing on gun control as the major factor that we must address. Republicans attempt to distract, by noting the need to address mental illness, despite the fact that they are unwilling to invest the funds that would require. Attend your local school board meeting, when an increase in taxes is proposed, in order to hire more social workers. It will be republicans who oppose spending more money on "those kids." They don't understand it is also to prevent their classmates from becoming victims.

Internet searches document that most school shooters have a fascination with previous schoool shooters. The Idaho murderer had a similar fascination with previous mass and serial murderers. Obviously, access to guns is a key issue. Mental health issues are key, as well. Yet the majority of these murderers do not have the major mental illnesses we associate with "insanity" in the context of the legal system. Yet they all have entrenched mental health issues, that often have multi-generational roots.

In the first half of 1968, I thought that Robert Kennedy would save us from the social pathologies threatening this country. I didn't grasp the real meaning of Kennedy or Camus's message. It is up to us. I'll end with a quote with variations attributed to both Malcolm X and J. Edgar Hoover: "The cure for crime is found in the high chair, not the electric chair."

[pwb]

1. We will do better. We started voting in mid term elections finally.

Sometimes I wonder if this stuff didn't sometimes happen, and we just didn't hear about it like we do now. I think we continue to get better and think it has, more recently. The NRA use to be responsible hunters. Now Putin funds it and pukes follow like little ducklings. I always thought assault style weapons should count as assets for any government benefits.

[Elessar Zappa]

2. Even gun deaths, while still waaayyy too high,

are down significantly from the 70s, 80s, and 90s. But to truly get a grip on the violence, we need more gun control. That can only happen with more Dems in office.

[H2O Man]

5. Valid points.

And all very important points.

Nothing says that guns are too easy to get ahold of, quite like a six year old shooting his teacher. Or an extremely problemed youth having access to any gun, especially the types that school shooters prefer. I think that even a fair number of republican gun owners recognize that keeping guns out of those individuals' hands is not an Amendment 2 issue. But, obviously, the NRA has a level of control over republican politicians -- including some that wear black robes and sit on benches -- that is a stumbling block to common sense.

Studying crime can, unless one is familiar with the statistics that you note, scare people. And republicans like fear. It allows them to talk about loving police, and increasing funding for hiring more police ...... unless it has to do with January 6, of course. Yet the truth is that most police recognize the dangers of having guns so available. In the cases of "at risk" youth, they are limited to identifying and charging them for the behaviors that lead up to school shootings. We recently saw that not all police forces are capable of intervening in an active school shooting, even if they are trained to do so. And although they are good at "solving" the individual events once they are over, police are generally limited to identifying some of the at risk kids, but not to be a part of the follow-up care needed.

I agree fully that it is essential to elect Democrats to office at all levels. It seems safe to say that Democrats, unlike republicans, are open to listening to experts from schools and social work on potential ways of addressing this particular type of violence.

[Elessar Zappa]

7. Good post.

I still have faith that the American people can overcome anything and that we can get a handle on all this needless violence. But good people can’t become numb. We must relentlessly push back against Republicans as well as neuter the pro-gun lobby. We can do it!

[H2O Man]

8. Right.

It takes the same amount of energy to work for solutions, as it does It is just a matter of where we channel our energies. (Being afraid, for example, usually takes more energy long-term than does overcoming fears.)

Rubin used to tell me that all of the roads to wisdom must first pass through valleys of doubt. I think that can apply equally to groups and as individuals. I maintain a belief that, as one of his friends said, we will reach that mountain top.

[H2O Man]

3. Thank you!

Voting is a huge part of the solutions to this issue. And that includes actively voting at all levels, from the school board to the White House. (I remember in 2004, one community member telling me that my saying school boards were political was a load of shit. I sometimes wonder if he has come to recognize how wrong he was.)

There have always been unhinged individuals who delighted in murdering others. The limitations of the media certainly rendered many, even most, as local issues. Even today, local historical societies ask me to present and anal analyze brutal murders from the 1800s, that no one outside the area has ever heard of.

But there are other factors at play today. For an example, troubled teens could not study other school shooters as they do today on the internet. The guy who did the mass shooting in Buffalo, NY, had a history in Broome County that should have resulted in a coordinated intervention. That would have included a review of his internet habits, as he had threatened to do a mass shooting when his class had graduated eleven months before. But the school, mental health professionals, law enforcement, and his parents did not coordinate in their limited responses. Fortunately, Buffalo recognized Broome County dropping the ball, and has a coordinated response team in place.

[calimary]

4. Dayum! Three great quotes in this post!

Last edited Tue Jan 17, 2023, 01:02 AM - Edit history (1)

I made a note.

I’m gonna use at least one of ‘em in one of my Indivisible group’s future Call to Action emails. Too good not to!

[H2O Man]

6. Thanks!

It is a topic that I think about quite a bit. And not just because of what seems like a never-ending flow of news reports on yet anoth school shooting. I did a couple of terms on the local school board, and remain in contact with others from that school, and several others in the area. It is an issue that has grown significantly in the past two decades, as documented in the book "The Violence Project" -- which I strongly recommend.

[malaise]

9. Thoughtful

as always

[ananda]

10. We need both: gun control AND access to mental health services.

!!!

[malaise]

12. For parents and kids

[H2O Man]

15. Absolutely!

I don't want to add on to the duties of schools -- they already are expected to do more than they did when I was in school. But perhaps teaching methods of conflict resolution from the time students are little, right up until they graduate, needs to be considered. There are a number of things that can be done at a local level. But the two essentials, which we really need our DC representatives to do, are gun control and access to mental health services.

[H2O Man]

11. Thanks!

The thought of a six year old bringing a gun to school should be a wake-up call that this is a problem that we can't put on a back burner. It is good that a 6 uear old isn't facing consequences publicly. It is reported it was his mother's gun, and she can only be facing limited criminal charges, and a potential civil case, if the teacher decides to. We are left not really knowing much of anything more. I have seen people speculate, without any supporting facts, that it must be the father's fault, as the mother may have feared him. In some cases, of course, speculation has shows more about the person doing it, than the actual events.

I can say that decades ago, before going to work at the mental health clinic, I worked with families with all types of domestic violence. I remember two related cases -- adult sisters with children, who lived next door to each other, with their husbands. One of the kids was five when he stabbed another kid at pre-school. It is no surprise that he learned violence from his parents, and his aunt and uncle. The adults lacked parenting skills, as well as conflict resolution abilities. Both sets co-battered, and also hit their little children.

Years later, at the MHC, I was discussing the now adult sons of one of the couples with a psychologist. The older brother was a drunk, often spending time in the county jail, where the psychologist and I provided services. Other than driving drunk, he posed no threat to society. But we agreed the younger brother would commit murder before the age of 21. And shortly after that, he was arrested for beating a man to death.

It is possible to identify the combination of factors that tend to have an association with brutal attacks on society at a relatively young age. It would be best if treated early. I do not, of course, pretend to have all the answers. But reading the book "The Violence Project" gives me hope that society will get there.

[Martin Eden]

13. As a society, we fail our children.

As adults, is this not our most important responsibility?

Not just parents, but every last one of us.

We all pay the price in one way or another for the inexcusable failures to love, nurture, educate, and mentor the young hearts and minds who will carry forward the great experiment of human civilization.

[H2O Man]

14. Well said.

I think that society's failure in this way provides a good measure for much of the social decay we are witnessing. I could puke when I hear republicans saying we are a "christian nation."

I think it is an important investment. For example, frequently we have found that the best people for teaching "parenting skills" to young parents are women over the age of fifty. That should come as no surprise to anyone who has studied the history of families. By also serving as family advocates, it reduces the initial resentment that "the system" is running the parents' lives. I ran a county-wide program that provided this service. It wasn't often seen as a punishment. And it isn't as expensive in the long run as not providing it.

I could go on and on. But I'll end by saying I've only seen republicans opposed to spending money on this. So I could also puke when I hear them talking about "family values."

[Martin Eden]

17. Mathew 7:16: By their deeds you will know them

Republicans are neither Christians, pro-life, nor the party of family values.

[H2O Man]

19. I agree.

We know them by their deeds. And their greeds, hatreds, and pettiness.

I think of Psalm 82, attributed to Asaph, when I listen to them speak.

[spanone]

16. K&R

[H2O Man]

20. Thank you!

[summer_in_TX]

18. A number of us in our small town have embraced the

idea that the work to prevent violence and give kids a nudge toward a positive life.

We call it Best Buds and match adult volunteers with kids whose teachers have nominated them. It's intended to be a long-term matchup, every school year they are in our school district the same adult buddy spends about 25 minutes a week with their student. It's not aimed at tutoring but instead at befriending and developing the relationship that will allow mentoring.

When it first began a few years ago it was a bit more tutoring. But with the violence in schools and political polarization, a lot of talk and prayer went into reinventing it last year.

Volunteers apply and the school district performs a background check. Kids of all ages are nominated and are matched with an adult volunteer. The kids don't have to be at risk, bullied, or having problems making friends. Maybe they are the quiet child just seems rather stressed out at times. Volunteers can use the time with games, artwork, helping the kid catch up on work, even helping them understand something they aren't getting yet, say in math.

The director of children and family ministries at our local United Methodist Church now heads it up, but volunteers from anywhere in the community can participate, giving us a chance to be there for a kid. She has kids in the schools and a real passion for the well-being of all kids.

I would guess many of us are retirees, but certainly not all of us. I just started and am delighted with my student. I'm a retired elementary special ed teacher, and get to work with a dyslexic 4th grader. I can be of help, and so far he seems to like that. But it's got to be more than academic. So tomorrow I'm taking a deck of cards.

We meet at school. Twenty-five minutes a week isn't much, but week in, week out, it can make a difference. A friend is in her second year with two girls. Last year one never warmed up, always seemed guarded. But seeing her again this year, the child is like a new person, talkative and confiding.

We protect the program (and the children) by abiding by guidelines to never seek to communicate outside of school with the child, even over the summer. We do make it possible for parents to contact us and arrange a get-together if they want to (over the summer, for instance), but strictly up to them.

Children may move away, but while they are here, we will try to be a best bud for them.

[H2O Man]

21. Beautiful!

Thank you so much for this! It makes me happier to read than I can find words to express.

Years ago, a friend of mine was killed in what was ruled an accident, but was the result of an action by three railroad workers. Not realizing that it had killed him, the three laughed about their "prank" that afternoon in a local bar. In time, his parents asked me what services were lacking in the county for children & youth. I said we needed something akin to a Big Brother/Big Sister program. They donated the money they got in the settlement in their civil case against the railroad, to start the program. To this day, I still hear from the kids that were in the program -- and many of them are grandparents today.

There were ever enough adult volunteers to match up with all the kids refered to the program, but those we had were outstanding. We tried to hold group events so that all the kids were included. That included picnics on a large plot of land -- fields, woods, and a beautiful creek -- that my friend's parents bought for our use. We also did a well-organized archaeological excavation with a well-known university professor, which led to displays in a few local colleges and in public buildings.

So it really makes me happy to learn that you & others are doing the same type of thing! Again, thank you!

[summer_in_TX]

22. I like the idea of group events to include even the kids

who didn't get matched.

Our Best Buds director is going to begin to spread awareness and recruit through an organization that helps local nonprofits work together and not duplicate work. And to arrange to speak to local groups. Plus she'll try to get interviews on the local community radio station.

I am so glad your friends' parents were able to channel their horror and grief in such a positive manner.

With suicide spiking among young people here during and after the pandemic, and then being just 3-4 hours away from Uvalde, we've had a lot of aching hearts. I'm glad it has galvanized some of us into doing this.

I participated a few years back when it was only tutoring and with a student in an age group I don't particularly relate to, so I wasn't drawn to getting involved again. But I'm glad a friend helped change my mind. My student now is an ideal match and it's very rewarding.

[H2O Man]

23. That is outstanding!

It is a lot of work for the director. Great respect. It isn't an easy job. I think is more difficult today, than it was in my day. I base that largely from my children's experiences in various human services. All four have been, or are employed in various human services jobs, and my oldest recognized that he was "burning out," and left, but the other three and a daughter-in-law work with children & youth.

My older daughter recently began work at a state-wide non-profit. She had worked with the Boston City Council before this. I know that from her viewpoint, her goal is to help set up volunteer programs in communities across the state. Last year, she spoke at national conference on children & youth. But the thing she takes the most pride in is her volunteer work with kids. There have to be guidelines, of course, but volunteer work will play a crucial role in healing this country.

[summer_in_TX]

25. Very true.

Volunteer work will indeed play a crucial role in healing this nation, with the kids and with others. Anything that begins and nurtures a relationship is going to help.

[Solly Mack]

24. K&R

[H2O Man]

26. Thank you!