BREAKING: Classified documents discovered at my house

ATLANTA, Jan. 24 - At a 1:00 p.m. ET news conference tomorrow, longtime DUer Pinback is expected to reveal the discovery of several classified documents at his Atlanta-area residence. The documents are believed to be printouts of emails from his time as a contractor at {REDACTED}, Inc.

"I had no idea I had anything like that," Pinback reportedly told a confidant, saying he found them in an old manila folder in the bottom drawer of his filing cabinet. "To tell you the truth," he allegedly told the source, "I hardly ever look in there. It's pretty disorganized, and kind of scary, really."

The long-forgotten emails are believed to contain "parodies of corporate announcements written with co-workers and several draft resignation letters."

42 replies	Author	Time	Post
BREAKING: Classified documents discovered at my house (Original post)	Pinback	Jan 24	OP
Update your Zillow listing	Effete Snob	Jan 24	#1
Snort!!	niyad	Jan 24	#2
Nice! Just hope it doesn't increase my property taxes. (nt)	Pinback	Jan 24	#5
Is the press conference going to be held at Four Seasons?	GopherGal	Jan 24	#3
It'll be at The Big Chicken	Pinback	Jan 24	#8
My husband used to work for the CDC. We have some here too. He had a security clearance, so I think	debm55	Jan 24	#4
My dog ate some clasified documents	DBoon	Jan 24	#6
Draining the swamp is nothing compared to that!	Pinback	Jan 26	#31
Found Government Documents In My Glove Compartment... Am I In Trouble ?	GGoss	Jan 24	#7
Found an empty bag of Hall's in mine.	Pinback	Jan 24	#10
VERY Good...	GGoss	Jan 24	#11
Excellent!	phoenix75	Jan 24	#13
DUzy!	littlemissmartypants	Jan 24	#17
Since I upgraded my dentures, I've kept the old ones in my glove compartment, so	Atticus	Jan 25	#24
Heh, I'll try this one on my dentist!	Pinback	Jan 26	#30
This message was self-deleted by its author	Atticus	Jan 25	#25
This message was self-deleted by its author	Chin music	Jan 24	#9
LOCK YOU UP!	Takket	Jan 24	#12
But my emails!	Pinback	Jan 26	#29
LOL 😆 😂	live love laugh	Jan 24	#14
Reportedly it was pressure from crack investigator George Santos that forced Pinback to	FailureToCommunicate	Jan 24	#15
My real last name is DeVolder!	Pinback	Jan 26	#32
Figures. So, what DID you do with that stolen $3000 dollars?	FailureToCommunicate	Jan 26	#38
Stolen! The heck you say...	Pinback	Jan 26	#41
Oh My God!!	littlemissmartypants	Jan 24	#16
That's some Deplorable stuff in that basket!	Pinback	Jan 26	#33
Ha, only the best for our deplorables! Thanks for the chuckle Pinback. I really needed it today. ❤️	littlemissmartypants	Jan 26	#39
We still don't know where Pinback was storing those emails.	Dr. Strange	Jan 24	#18
He was hiding it in a safe behind a Thomas Kincaid "painting" in his living room.	debm55	Jan 24	#19
They don't call me the "Archivist of Light" for nothing!	Pinback	Jan 26	#34
Has anyone ever seen Pinback and George Santos together?	central scrutinizer	Jan 25	#27
Could I speak to you about a can't-miss investment opportunity? (nt)	Pinback	Jan 26	#35
Was your house built by Jimmy Carter?	Sancho	Jan 24	#20
Zing!	Effete Snob	Jan 25	#22
Very clever! ❤️	littlemissmartypants	Jan 25	#23
Nailed it!	Pinback	Jan 26	#36
Like the way this minimizes severity of everything	Laura PourMeADrink	Jan 24	#21
Has Pinback posted today?	debm55	Jan 25	#26
I was unavoidably detained	Pinback	Jan 26	#37
I was worried the Feds got you. Did you meet in front of a landscaping building?	debm55	Jan 26	#40
Yes, something about spices, or seasonings... the details are hazy (nt)	Pinback	Jan 26	#42
This is excellent	Maru Kitteh	Jan 26	#28

BREAKING: Classified documents discovered at my house

1. Update your Zillow listing

2. Snort!!

5. Nice! Just hope it doesn't increase my property taxes. (nt)

3. Is the press conference going to be held at Four Seasons?

8. It'll be at The Big Chicken

4. My husband used to work for the CDC. We have some here too. He had a security clearance, so I think

6. My dog ate some clasified documents

31. Draining the swamp is nothing compared to that!

7. Found Government Documents In My Glove Compartment... Am I In Trouble ?

10. Found an empty bag of Hall's in mine.

11. VERY Good...

13. Excellent!

17. DUzy!

24. Since I upgraded my dentures, I've kept the old ones in my glove compartment, so

30. Heh, I'll try this one on my dentist!

12. LOCK YOU UP!

29. But my emails!

14. LOL 😆 😂

15. Reportedly it was pressure from crack investigator George Santos that forced Pinback to

32. My real last name is DeVolder!

38. Figures. So, what DID you do with that stolen $3000 dollars?

41. Stolen! The heck you say...

16. Oh My God!!

33. That's some Deplorable stuff in that basket!

39. Ha, only the best for our deplorables! Thanks for the chuckle Pinback. I really needed it today. ❤️

18. We still don't know where Pinback was storing those emails.

19. He was hiding it in a safe behind a Thomas Kincaid "painting" in his living room.

34. They don't call me the "Archivist of Light" for nothing!

27. Has anyone ever seen Pinback and George Santos together?

35. Could I speak to you about a can't-miss investment opportunity? (nt)

20. Was your house built by Jimmy Carter?

22. Zing!

23. Very clever! ❤️

36. Nailed it!

21. Like the way this minimizes severity of everything

26. Has Pinback posted today?

37. I was unavoidably detained

40. I was worried the Feds got you. Did you meet in front of a landscaping building?

42. Yes, something about spices, or seasonings... the details are hazy (nt)

28. This is excellent