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Tue Jan 24, 2023, 09:32 PM

BREAKING: Classified documents discovered at my house

ATLANTA, Jan. 24 - At a 1:00 p.m. ET news conference tomorrow, longtime DUer Pinback is expected to reveal the discovery of several classified documents at his Atlanta-area residence. The documents are believed to be printouts of emails from his time as a contractor at {REDACTED}, Inc.

"I had no idea I had anything like that," Pinback reportedly told a confidant, saying he found them in an old manila folder in the bottom drawer of his filing cabinet. "To tell you the truth," he allegedly told the source, "I hardly ever look in there. It's pretty disorganized, and kind of scary, really."

The long-forgotten emails are believed to contain "parodies of corporate announcements written with co-workers and several draft resignation letters."

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Arrow 42 replies Author Time Post
Reply BREAKING: Classified documents discovered at my house (Original post)
Pinback Jan 24 OP
Effete Snob Jan 24 #1
niyad Jan 24 #2
Pinback Jan 24 #5
GopherGal Jan 24 #3
Pinback Jan 24 #8
debm55 Jan 24 #4
DBoon Jan 24 #6
Pinback Jan 26 #31
GGoss Jan 24 #7
Pinback Jan 24 #10
GGoss Jan 24 #11
phoenix75 Jan 24 #13
littlemissmartypants Jan 24 #17
Atticus Jan 25 #24
Pinback Jan 26 #30
Atticus Jan 25 #25
Chin music Jan 24 #9
Takket Jan 24 #12
Pinback Jan 26 #29
live love laugh Jan 24 #14
FailureToCommunicate Jan 24 #15
Pinback Jan 26 #32
FailureToCommunicate Jan 26 #38
Pinback Jan 26 #41
littlemissmartypants Jan 24 #16
Pinback Jan 26 #33
littlemissmartypants Jan 26 #39
Dr. Strange Jan 24 #18
debm55 Jan 24 #19
Pinback Jan 26 #34
central scrutinizer Jan 25 #27
Pinback Jan 26 #35
Sancho Jan 24 #20
Effete Snob Jan 25 #22
littlemissmartypants Jan 25 #23
Pinback Jan 26 #36
Laura PourMeADrink Jan 24 #21
debm55 Jan 25 #26
Pinback Jan 26 #37
debm55 Jan 26 #40
Pinback Jan 26 #42
Maru Kitteh Jan 26 #28

Response to Pinback (Original post)

Tue Jan 24, 2023, 09:37 PM

1. Update your Zillow listing


You can now sort homes on Zillow by whether or not they come with classified documents.

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Response to Effete Snob (Reply #1)

Tue Jan 24, 2023, 10:21 PM

5. Nice! Just hope it doesn't increase my property taxes. (nt)

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Response to Pinback (Original post)

Tue Jan 24, 2023, 10:18 PM

3. Is the press conference going to be held at Four Seasons?

Or is Rudy Giuliani *not* your personal counsel...

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Response to GopherGal (Reply #3)

Tue Jan 24, 2023, 10:25 PM

8. It'll be at The Big Chicken

Ö Cobb County landmark, for the non-locals. Or possibly at Chick-Fil-A, I canít remember.

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Response to Pinback (Original post)

Tue Jan 24, 2023, 10:20 PM

4. My husband used to work for the CDC. We have some here too. He had a security clearance, so I think

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Response to Pinback (Original post)

Tue Jan 24, 2023, 10:24 PM

6. My dog ate some clasified documents

The government can have them back in 2 days. Some cleanup required.

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Response to DBoon (Reply #6)

Thu Jan 26, 2023, 09:32 PM

31. Draining the swamp is nothing compared to that!

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Response to Pinback (Original post)

Tue Jan 24, 2023, 10:24 PM

7. Found Government Documents In My Glove Compartment... Am I In Trouble ?

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Response to GGoss (Reply #7)

Tue Jan 24, 2023, 10:27 PM

10. Found an empty bag of Hall's in mine.

Iíve been driving without a lozenge!

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Response to Pinback (Reply #10)

Wed Jan 25, 2023, 02:51 PM

24. Since I upgraded my dentures, I've kept the old ones in my glove compartment, so

I guess I've been driving with expired plates!

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Response to Atticus (Reply #24)

Thu Jan 26, 2023, 09:31 PM

30. Heh, I'll try this one on my dentist!

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Response to Pinback (Reply #10)


Response to Pinback (Original post)


Response to Pinback (Original post)

Tue Jan 24, 2023, 10:38 PM

12. LOCK YOU UP!

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Response to Takket (Reply #12)

Thu Jan 26, 2023, 09:30 PM

29. But my emails!

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Response to Pinback (Original post)

Tue Jan 24, 2023, 10:54 PM

15. Reportedly it was pressure from crack investigator George Santos that forced Pinback to

reveal to authorities the existance these documents.

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Response to FailureToCommunicate (Reply #15)

Thu Jan 26, 2023, 09:33 PM

32. My real last name is DeVolder!

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Response to Pinback (Reply #32)

Thu Jan 26, 2023, 09:55 PM

38. Figures. So, what DID you do with that stolen $3000 dollars?

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Response to FailureToCommunicate (Reply #38)

Thu Jan 26, 2023, 10:37 PM

41. Stolen! The heck you say...

Why, those investors trusted me with their nest eggs! How was I to know that mistakes would be made and assets would evaporate, $199.99 at a time?
😇

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Response to Pinback (Original post)

Tue Jan 24, 2023, 10:55 PM

16. Oh My God!!

I just checked the white woven ratan basket between the handlebars of my bicycle and low and behold....

Classified Documents.

Hopefully I will be able to cram them in a generic looking backpack and leave them somewhere around the corner where I never go (usually) and drop them in a stairwell or doorway.

I'm going to rub them all in bacon grease first, though. Hopefully, that will disguise any fingerprints and create a smelly trap for someone who will then get blamed for having them when their prints are found all over them.

Because we all know... nobody can resist bacon!

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Response to littlemissmartypants (Reply #16)

Thu Jan 26, 2023, 09:34 PM

33. That's some Deplorable stuff in that basket!

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Response to Pinback (Reply #33)

Thu Jan 26, 2023, 10:12 PM

39. Ha, only the best for our deplorables! Thanks for the chuckle Pinback. I really needed it today. ❤️

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Response to Pinback (Original post)

Tue Jan 24, 2023, 10:57 PM

18. We still don't know where Pinback was storing those emails.

There's no telling how deep this thing goes!

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Response to Dr. Strange (Reply #18)

Tue Jan 24, 2023, 11:13 PM

19. He was hiding it in a safe behind a Thomas Kincaid "painting" in his living room.

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Response to debm55 (Reply #19)

Thu Jan 26, 2023, 09:35 PM

34. They don't call me the "Archivist of Light" for nothing!

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Response to Dr. Strange (Reply #18)

Wed Jan 25, 2023, 08:38 PM

27. Has anyone ever seen Pinback and George Santos together?

I thought not. Itís another alias.

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Response to central scrutinizer (Reply #27)

Thu Jan 26, 2023, 09:36 PM

35. Could I speak to you about a can't-miss investment opportunity? (nt)

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Response to Pinback (Original post)

Tue Jan 24, 2023, 11:15 PM

20. Was your house built by Jimmy Carter?

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Response to Sancho (Reply #20)

Thu Jan 26, 2023, 09:38 PM

36. Nailed it!

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Response to Pinback (Original post)

Tue Jan 24, 2023, 11:24 PM

21. Like the way this minimizes severity of everything

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Response to Pinback (Original post)

Wed Jan 25, 2023, 02:57 PM

26. Has Pinback posted today?

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Response to debm55 (Reply #26)

Thu Jan 26, 2023, 09:39 PM

37. I was unavoidably detained

but my attorney sprung me once heíd wiped the hair dye out of his eyes.

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Response to Pinback (Reply #37)

Thu Jan 26, 2023, 10:24 PM

40. I was worried the Feds got you. Did you meet in front of a landscaping building?

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Response to debm55 (Reply #40)

Thu Jan 26, 2023, 10:39 PM

42. Yes, something about spices, or seasonings... the details are hazy (nt)

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