"White Comfort"

[Nevilledog]

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PoliticsGirl

@IAmPoliticsGirl
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This TikTok from @highlyvibey really got me thinking about how our society has socialized us to prioritize “white comfort”. A term I’m not even sure I’d heard before.


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2:37 PM · Feb 5, 2023

[WhiskeyGrinder]

1. People often think that "white supremacy" means "lynching and KKK rides," when it is much, much more

about what this person talks about. The flip side is the weaponization of white women's tears -- once a white women starts crying in a discussion about race, the conversation is over, because you made her uncomfortable.

[Solly Mack]

3. All true.

[Baitball Blogger]

8. +1

It's like they're saying, "I'm ignorant, now protect me from all these disturbing ethnic ideas."

Can you imagine this country being controlled by White Women's fears?

[uponit7771]

12. +1,

[RobinA]

13. You Surely Live

in a different world than I do. In my world, white women, and probably all women, will do ANYTHING to avoid tears in public due to the derision they bring down on her head.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

14. It's very, very common for white women -- including white women who would otherwise consider

themselves enlightened when it comes to race -- to start crying when they're told by people who aren't white that their actions are harmful. Similar to the concept of "punching down," the tears are weaponized against those that white supremacy gives them power over. What you describe -- say, a white woman crying in a work situation because she's frustrated with her workload -- is not what I was talking about.

[tblue37]

2. On the nose!

[Solly Mack]

4. K&R

[2naSalit]

5. K&R

[Timeflyer]

6. Highlyvibey comments are so good, I'm using them tomorrow in School Bd. meeting

in Sarasota about a challenge to the book Stamped by Jason Reynolds and Ibram X. Kendi, recommended for grades 6-12.

[Nevilledog]

10. Let us know how it goes!

[Celerity]

15. +100000

[Baitball Blogger]

7. 100% correct

I'm not black and I felt the need to hide whatever cultural or ethnic differences I had that might make very white people uncomfortable. It was rare to find a white American who made me feel completely accepted for who I was. And, let's face it. Some of us played the game very well, until we grew into the white hair years to where we are today, and realize we have nothing in common with this people, who still don't get it.

For those of us who felt this identity crisis in late years, we had to reverse engineer what happened. Partly it is because at a very young age, we associated "American" with "White American" and many of us naturally assumed we were part of that, regardless of out ethnic background. White comfort concerns were a big part of us "fitting in." And these insular white people were never interested in learning more.

[haele]

11. I'm an old white woman, growing up counter-culture adjacent.

I saw "White Comfort" all the time growing up, even in supposedly liberal university settings. (Hint - Berkeley was never really Liberal)
The deference to White leadership and White ideas on how progress should go forward in many of the civil rights efforts that I saw was noticable even to a young child. My parents dropped out of so many of those student groups because they didn't feel that the experience of the minorities in those groups were being listened to.
My mom grew up in a diverse poor working class L.A. neighborhood.
The lady nextdoor to her, basically her surrogate mother after her own mother started dying from cancer, was black. The kids around the street she lived on were Japanese (returned from the internment camps), Mexican, Black, and Armenian refugee families. She and her brother were pretty much the only WASP looking kids around, but she said she never felt slighted or picked on even though she was considered different, and her pappy would have whooped their asses if they treated any of the kids and families differently due to culture or ethnicity, as he came from an immigrant (Finnish/Swede) family himself and always believed in the melting pot idea of America. The kids in her neighborhood were raised and protected by that neighborhood. And while she understands how "White/Christian" is the default in this country, she never accepted the deference given to Whites as anything but shallow mendacity or hypocrisy. Nor did she allow me or my brother to accept it.
White comfort policies -and gender privilege policies - are pandering to the status quo, and a hindrance to real progress.

Haele

[Baitball Blogger]

16. I'll definitely get back to respond tonight.

Thanks for sharing your experiences. Wish you were my neighbor.

[Baitball Blogger]

17. So many thoughts are stirred by your post.

1) I was also raised in a diverse culture. Even though it was a US military base, those of us with latin American roots were the dominant number. But not the dominant force. Assimilation was definitely meant to assimilate to a White Culture that provided a whitewashed, pollyanna view of American history. I respect minorities in the US that kept their truth alive. Because the lies I was raised to believe created confusion. After awhile I learned to step back and watch and I realized that what American children learn is to repeat the lies, without questions. It almost grooms them seamlessly to become part of a salesforce that requires salespeople to repeat whatever product information the company wants them to say, in order to make their quotas. Imagine a society built on a false foundation. Can't believe it's happening to us.

2) Yes, progressives were slow to break their fear of angering the White conservative culture. Even on DU, many of us faced a lot of criticism for "race baiting." But that was before Trayvon Martin. After that, white progressives on DU became woke. Unfortunately, I can't say that about the white people I know that are most closest to me. They are afraid of losing their conservative friends, so they are very much part of the social barrier for us. They don't want to rock the boat, so in essence, they legitimize the complaints their white conservative friends make. It's hard to believe that we're repeating the worst of the race wars from the 1950s-60s. De Santis is going to stoke his supporters into a race war. Mark my words. And by that, it means they will continue to target minorities. I'm not sure what we can do about it, if we can't stop them with the criminal justice system and the courts.

[Wounded Bear]

9. K & R...nt