We must get this pornography out of our schools!

[ashredux]

“….Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled.”

Yes, this is from a book our children are reading right now!

Opps…never mind…this is from Ezekiel 23:19-22 in the Bible…

My Bad😊

[LuckyCharms]

1. That turned me on a little bit.

[ashredux]

4. Well, that genitals like donkeys is kind of Wild

[LuckyCharms]

5. You're telling me!

[Ray Bruns]

13. Wink! Wink! Nudge! Nudge! Say no more!

[Hortensis]

42. Same here. On DU. Bit of a surprise, but okay.

[soldierant]

77. better."he Kama Sutra is more practical -

it explains that, yes, size matters, but it matters in relation to the size of the partner. Not just "bigger is better." Sometimes it is, sometimes it' just painful (and maybe dangerous.)

[Mr. Evil]

45. Yup...

I kinda felt a tingle!

[LuckyCharms]

46. That's all I get these days.

A vague and fleeting momentary sense of pleasure that just confuses me.

[Mr. Evil]

61. I'm sorry but,

that just made me laugh.

Trust me, I feel your pain. Do you remember that movie 'Fried Green Tomatoes?' There's that part where Kathy Bates' character says, "I'm too young to be old and I'm too old to be young." That's me.

Recently, in Kroger, I made eye contact with a pretty woman. She smiled and I reciprocated. She looked to be about 40ish. Me, being 62 (a month from 63) and I don't even look 50, thought... what would she do if she knew I was 62. In my head I produced a scene of her running away with her arms flailing above her head screaming bloody murder! Getting old sucks. But, there is alcohol!

[LuckyCharms]

63. Every time I think a woman is smiling at me...

it turns out she is smiling at someone standing behind me.

I haven't had a drink in about 11 years. I miss it sometimes, because alcohol made me even better looking.

[Mr. Evil]

64. I only drink on Friday night.

Alone and to excess. I start here at the wonderful and unbeatable DU. Then when it's time (I always know when it's time!), I listen to music at extreme volume levels. It's exhilarating! And quite pleasing (I have a 9.2 surround system). My one and only true joy!

[LuckyCharms]

66. Ah, nothing beats a good sound system!

I do the same as you with the music, only I eat THC gummies.

I quit drinking because I take a lot of meds and drinking just made me feel sick, so I stopped.

I hope you enjoy your night, and your music!

[Mr. Evil]

67. I know about the gummies!

Yes, they are good! And thanx so much! You have a good evening too.

[Mr. Evil]

65. And if you noticed my sig line,

you can get an idea of how loud it really gets!

[Joinfortmill]

87. Lol

[FalloutShelter]

2. LOL...Good one.

Have a heart!

[GGoss]

3. Yeah... I've Heard That Book Has All Sorts Of Objectionable Material

It's gotta go...

[certainot]

40. no wonder it's so popular

[GGoss]

41. Smut Certainly Sells

[Artcatt]

49. The jeezoids are into that stuff..

…while thumping their bibles and wagging their fingers. I’m sure they get off on the new institutionally-forced pregnancies by rape.

Probably sumpin in dat bible sayin the laward sanctions it…

[ashredux]

6. And there is more!!!

“You also took the fine jewelry I gave you, the jewelry made of my gold and silver, and you made for yourself male idols and engaged in prostitution with them.” (Ezekiel 16:17)

Raise your hand if you knew there were dildo references in the Bible.

Amazing what one can find in the “Good Book.”

[rubbersole]

44. The Golden Rule...

[3Hotdogs]

7. I'll be back in a couple. After reading that,

I gotta make a quick trip to the bathroom.... somthin' about fondling young breasts.

[Baitball Blogger]

8. I've seen some great interviews with women who worked in the oldest business in the world,

and from what I gather from it, prostitutes would be more than happy to earn their money in the first fifteen minutes of the meet. Because, it's a business. The last thing they would want is to work with a man who has genitals like a donkey with emissions like a horse. It would ruin the goods.

My guess is that Ezekiel was an incel that only dreamed of having sex.

[quaint]

15. crossing my legs

[Mad_Machine76]

9. I'll be.......

in my bunk.

[packman]

10. For a more detailed look at that smut

https://www.salon.com/2015/04/06/the_8_kinkiest_passages_of_the_bible_partner/

[ashredux]

11. There's nothing like a little biblical sex in the morning....

Thank you King James (that was the version I had as a child. I wish I had known about these passages back then.)

[Aristus]

12. Why is it always 'youth' and 'young breasts'?

Did the Prophets not have an appreciation for sexy mature women with that certain je nais sais quoi?

Forget the blushing maidens, guys. Go for a woman who know what she wants and ain’t afraid to ask for it.

[royable]

16. The writers of these biblical passages were focused on creating distorted attitudes

about human sexuality among their readers and followers. They were the original groomers. We should ban this book in all schools, especially including religious ones! (And then sit back and see how the groomers like what’s good for the gander, and whether they might begin to rethink their value system.)

[judesedit]

31. The Bible is on the banned book list already

[Ziggysmom]

17. Woo hoo! I appreciate how you think. As an over 60 woman, I have to say that the best

sex in my life was after the age of 40. ☺️. Older men are sexier, IMHO, too!

[markie]

60. Hey...

just wait until you're 70

[Ziggysmom]

62. I only hope I'll be able to afford to retire at 70 and not be too crotchety and sickly to have fun!

[Traildogbob]

18. They knew nothing

About gravity. They thought low hanging boobs were a curse on non virgins. Also the statues of men always had small penises and never portrayed old man with low hanging balls.
They did not want women to see bigger penises or think they existed. They hated those black slaves. Any question, men wrote the BuyBull?

[iscooterliberally]

14. I went to to all Catholic schools.

That is the greatest bible verse ever.

[BOSSHOG]

20. What I remember from Catholic school is

“If you don’t bring money to church every Sunday, Father Connolly will be on your doorstep.” Gosh, a reading from hepcat Ezekiel would have been nice.

[iscooterliberally]

21. it's funny how they never read that passage aloud in church. n/t

[pandr32]

30. LMAO!

[SharonAnn]

29. Opened the Bible one day to the story of "Susannah and the Elders". What an awakening.

[iscooterliberally]

39. I like watching lectures and videos of Dr Bart Ehrman on youtube.

He really brings the true history of the bible to light.

[BOSSHOG]

19. But dadgum there's nothing about abortion in the bible

I know some wise, sage theologians (and I’m not talking faux hosts) who can turn the Bible upside down and read it from the light of a blue moon when it’s raining 100 miles east of the reading, and there it’s is. Abortion. A great fundraiser for Catholics.

[ashredux]

22. Hmmmm...looking....Hmmmmm....still looking..Hmmmmm. Nope. Ain't there

[HuskyOffset]

34. Not true

There is a passage where God instructs husbands who think their wife has been unfaithful to prepare a concoction (the passage describes ingredients & prep) and make their wife drink it. If she miscarriages, then she was unfaithful. That’s an abortion.

I forget what passage it is, perhaps someone knows.

[IronLionZion]

36. Numbers 5:11-31

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Numbers%205%3A11-31&version=NIV

[BOSSHOG]

75. I apologize

For failing to communicate.

I’m familiar with the passage you site. What I meant to convey is nowhere in the Bible Is there any instruction not to perform an abortion. ie - thou shalt not abort. And yet, millions base their opposition to abortion on their religious beliefs.

However, I stick by my example. And any variation thereof. Just grab a Bible and insist that it says what “you” want it to say.

Thx for making me rethink my response.

[HuskyOffset]

84. No apology needed

It's kind of amazing, because right there in that passage, God actually tells men to make their wife have an abortion. This is literally the direct opposite of what the right to life people will tell you is in their bible. Amazing.

[BOSSHOG]

94. That's where

Holding it upside and into a mirror comes in handy

[Ligyron]

56. No what else isn't in the bible?

Popes, Cardinals, nuns...

[ashredux]

23. Well, to be fair, procreation back in the day, was very important

The more men, you had more likelihood, you could withstand attacks from other tribes, or go and wipe them out if you needed to. Lots of passages in the Old Testament about killing other tribes, both all the men, women, and children.

There was sex, murder, and all that was missing, was rock ‘n’ roll

[certainot]

47. so was polygamy, dowry etc. the main built-in purpose of all major religion is to increase frustrati

lion in boys and men.

sexual repression, controlling reproductive rights and women, etc. it accomplishes the same thing as covid social distancing has done in the last few years to cause the recent explosion of fascism - increase, by default, right handed masturbation to increase sex on the wrong brain, which increases greed and the irrational need for certainty - which increases fear and dependence on authoritarian leaders, gods, symbols of certainty - and makes it easier to fill the armies with killers

the koran even goes one further "man can only have sex with his wife and that which the right hand possesses" and then with the 78 or whatever virgins/fantasy waiting for warriors in heaven it associates masturbation with death. even better for sex on the wrong brain and the authoritarianism it promotes

[Bernardo de La Paz]

24. Make a book with all those sex quotes woven into the story

Pitch it to and market it for grade 6 level.

Change place names like Egypt to innocuous ones like England or Canada (to not arouse racist whites' racism).

Strictly limit any salacious content to the bible quotes.

Pump it and get it banned. Then let the fun begin.

[SouthernDem4ever]

25. Somebody notify Aunt Lydia in Arkansas

She needs to add this book to her list.

[Seinan Sensei]

26. My old bible had pictures

Of Jesus
Of Moses
Of Noah
Of Daniel in the den of lions

Are there any Bibles with pictures of Ezekiel 23?

(Asking for a friend)

[ashredux]

28. Larry Flint's version of the Old Testament did I think...🤔

[Rebl2]

27. That's

why I keep saying they should not allow the Bible in schools if they aren’t allowing all these other banned books.

[Rhiannon12866]

32. The Bible has more violent passages, too, than those "classics" that they're banning now

Mostly books that I was assigned to read in high school English classes.

[Samrob]

33. I guess the Song of Solomon will be burned? nt

[Solly Mack]

35. That verse always had me wondering what he was doing in the barn at night.

[ashredux]

37. This sounds like it was the premise of a slasher movie...

Samuel-1 17:57

“And as David returned from the slaughter of the Philistine, Abner took him, and brought him before Saul with the head of the Philistine in his hand.”

Head in his hand? Yikes😬

[Pete Ross Junior]

38. You think that's bad?

Look up 2 Samuel 13 -- A tale of incest and rape.

BTW, in the Christian interpretation, that happened in the lineage of Christ.

[keithbvadu2]

43. Bible passages have also been used as 'rationale' for sex crimes, some against children.

Bible passages have also been used as 'rationale' for sex crimes, some against children.

[markodochartaigh]

48. From the Book of Sirach

] If the wolf shall at any time have fellowship with the lamb, so the sinner with the just. [22] What fellowship hath a holy man with a dog, or what part hath the rich with the poor? [23] The wild ass is the lion's prey in the desert: so also the poor are devoured by the rich. [24] And as humility is an abomination to the proud: so also the rich man abhorreth the poor. [25] When a rich man is shaken, he is kept up by his friends: but when a poor man is fallen down, he is thrust away even by his acquaintance.

[26] When a rich man hath been deceived, he hath many helpers: he hath spoken proud things, and they have justified him. [27] The poor man was deceived, and he is rebuked also: he hath spoken wisely, and could have no place. [28] The rich man spoke, and all held their peace, and what he said they extol even to the clouds. [29] The poor man spoke, and they say: Who is this? and if he stumble, they will overthrow him

[housecat]

50. Let's get it on the airwaves and attach it to DeSatan

[ashredux]

51. Well folks, this turned out to be a fun thread.

[SheilaAnn]

52. I need a cigarette.

[GGoss]

53. LOL !!!

Sin and cigarettes...

Good name for a punk band.

[SheilaAnn]

54. Love it!

[Joinfortmill]

88. ROFL

[republianmushroom]

55. Nope, this one gets to stay, ask DeSantis

after all we have had a porn actress as first lady, have we not.

[StoolPigeon]

57. I'm not sure

but I think I:m having an uncontrollable desire to have an affair with a donkey.

[skypilot]

58. I could never stick it out with the Bible...

...long enough to get to these juicy parts.

[Joinfortmill]

89. Me too.

[The Jungle 1]

59. I fully support using Christianity...

against the heretics and their false culture war.

[NullTuples]

68. Do I really need to bring up "righteous" Lot & his daughters?

[ashredux]

69. Ooowww....not that....yuck....incest

[NullTuples]

70. Yes, but it's *Biblical* incest.

And besides, when a crowd of townspeople wanted to gang rape the two beautiful male strangers visiting from out of town, Lot offered them his virgin daughters instead.

Sometimes I wonder if some of the books that were eventually compiled into the Bible were that era's version of the Jerry Springer Show and included as someone's practical joke. Like citing The National Enquirer in a serious paper in a buried footnote.

[GenThePerservering]

71. Humph...sex and violence...sex and violence

seems that's all those thumpers want.

[Blue Owl]

72. And if this turns the MAGAts upside down...

They can read it from tRump as he holds his precious prop bible....

[Otterdaemmerung]

74. Huh?

You quoted the King James Version, from 1611. ashredux quoted the New International Version, probably the most popular modern version in use by Evangelicals today.

"There’s three modern versions that are all modified in this way that change the meaning of the whole stories."
How is the meaning changed in the least? They're both saying the exact same thing!

"THES [sic] NEW Rewrites also Have 32 verses completely REMOVED"
Where?

"telling Peter the only way to the kingdom of God is through the sun [sic] and excepting [sic] him into your heart"
Son. Accepting.

The idea of salvation of "believing in Jesus" is nowhere in the Gospels, as it was an invention by Paul. John is the only gospel that portrays Jesus as divine, and it was written well after this Pauline theological development.

"instead it says you shall get baptized and be saved completely skipping what Jesus says to do."

That's what Jesus said to do. From Matthew 28, and I'm using your beloved KJV:
"And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth. Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you..."
(Matthew 28:18-20)

You're a brand new member with only your one post, so I advise you in future to get your facts in order and make a coherent argument before reacting.

[Joinfortmill]

90. Amen

[The Magistrate]

93. Hear Hear, Sir

[keithbvadu2]

76. You'll support legislation to declare the KJV as the official, one, true version of the Bible and al

You'll support legislation to declare the KJV as the official, one, true version of the Bible and allow no others in school libraries?

[KS Toronado]

83. King James Version was written in 1611

That's 412 years ago when the fastest means of communication was carrier pigeon, now with a smart phone
nothing in history is hidden by simply asking Alexis a question. Back then only a handful of people had a higher
education probably along the lines of high school today.

So who is/was more educated, Medieval man or modern day man? With scholars still debating how to translate
ancient Hebrew today and agreeing on course corrections, I'll trust those of my lifetime.

The song of Solomon (The Living Bible) 1 verse 9 says "What a lovely filly you are", the KJV (don't have one anymore)
says something like "I compare thee my love to the King's favorite asses" or something along those lines.
Which one do you suppose ladies would rather hear?

How about getting into the 21st century instead of relying on the past? You'll like it better IMHO.

And welcome to DU.

[czarjak]

78. Proof-positive pervs have been around since forever.

[Probatim]

79. EZK 2320 makes for a great license plate

It's subtle and it's bound to cause one or two people to laugh their asses off.

[TrogL]

80. There's some pretty racy stuff in Song of Solomon

[Deuxcents]

81. Wellll...this was most informative tonight.

As a kid, I had religious training but never these lessons. Being a female, it was always not to bring “shame” to my family but not knowing what shame they were talking about, respect your parents kind of stuff n save yourself n be obedient to your husband. Etc. geeezz..no wonder my parents kept things so strict n we dressed like pilgrims. Actually, that’s not totally true but modesty, yes.

[Joinfortmill]

91. I hear ya.

[jmowreader]

82. That's what they want you to forget

They want the “porn” out of the library, not caring that some of the finest porn ever written is in the Bible.

[jaxexpat]

85. Wow! This makes me kinda want to agree with the idea that pornography is a Victorian construct.

Ezekial seems to have gone off the rails from the average American's POV. So much so that the context becomes camouflaged by the steam arising in the repressed eyes the lascivious reader. Does anyone realize the message is about the "chosen of god" failing to live up to the "blessings" god had bestowed upon them? It is primarily a treatise and warning regarding the human tendency to abuse, overuse, pollute and spoil their habitat along with the vehicle in which they experience this material world.

Then again, Ezekial probably was pretty excited while taking dictation from god and all. It's a wonder he could even spell "genitals".

[Joinfortmill]

86. Yikes!

[Locrian]

92. yeah shit gets dark later...

after all the dirty talk you get the "SINNER SINNER" stuff...


46 “This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Bring a mob against them and give them over to terror and plunder. 47 The mob will stone them and cut them down with their swords; they will kill their sons and daughters and burn down their houses.

48 “So I will put an end to lewdness in the land, that all women may take warning and not imitate you. 49 You will suffer the penalty for your lewdness and bear the consequences of your sins of idolatry. Then you will know that I am the Sovereign Lord.”

Ezekiel 23:19-22
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ezekiel%2023&version=NIV