Scoop: Trump Plans to Comfort Desperate Base Via Penthouse Letters Magazine

[Baked Potato]

Scoop: Trump Plans to Comfort Desperate Base Via Penthouse Letters Magazine

March 24, 2023
Bake D. Potato

Palm Beach, Florida (BNN) - Sad Sack nincompoop and woefully bedimmed Donald Trump “may resort to sending correspondence to Penthouse Letters magazine via snail-mail as a way to talk to his ’Trumpers,’” deadpanned Trump’s caddy and hole-in-one enabler, Stephen Miller. The former President is currently holed up at his resort compound Mar-A-Lago awaiting multiple criminal indictments and has been banned from leaving messages on any successful forms of social media.

While in prison, Trump may seek to comfort his supporters with an upbeat message or two from his jail cell by sending postcards to an old favorite magazine he still looks at—Penthouse.

“I really enjoy the way a good, heavy, rolled up magazine like Penthouse feels as it beautifully strikes my balls from behind,” said a sweaty and winded Trump at a recent golf outing, reaching back and demonstrating the pro-tip technique with a rumpled old copy of Golf Digest. “It could be even more beautiful if one of my great letters was printed inside.”

[niyad]

1. If only!!

[grantcart]

2. You are on a roll

[Lars39]

3. Can you image being within hearing distance

of his prison cell?! Those poor inmates.
You’ve got me looking for OP usernames right off! Well done!