More Things You Have To Believe To Be A Republican Today: Indicated Edition

[Fritz67]

Donald Trump has been 'indicated'. Probably spat out his covfefe when he heard.

Oh yeah, he's been indicted too. That's probably the one that's going to cause him more problems.

Best of all? It happened two days ago, so it's NOT an April Fools Day joke!

Speaking of fools, time for another of my occasional lists of right wing doublethink while we're enjoying the spectacle.

(No. 62 in an occasional series.)

Reposts and Updates:

Six whole days went by from my last list until it became time to update this one:
* Degenerate Perverts Unfit For Public Life: Joe Biden, Cal Cunningham, John Conyers, Andrew Cuomo, John Edwards, Al Franken, Katie Hill, Elliot Spitzer, Anthony Wiener; Great Americans Who Believe In Family Values And Deserve A "Mulligan" or Two Or Three: Joe Barton, John Bizon, Jayson Boebert, Lauren Boebert, Anthony Bouchard, Luke Bowen, Aaron Brink , Herman Cain, Tucker Carlson, Madison Cawthorn, Lee Chatfield, Larry Craig, Chris DeJoseph (NEW!), Steve DesJarlais, Tudor Dixon, Bobby Dyer, Joe Fain, Jerry Falwell Jr, Mark Foley, Matt Gaetz, Will Gardner, Ben Gibson, Newt Gingrich, Phil Godlewski , Marjorie Taylor Greene, Eric Greitens, Joe Gruters, Rudy Guiliani, Sean Hannity, Adam Hageman, Dennis Hastert, Rocky Hayes, Charles Herbster, Curtis Hill, Perry Hooper Jr., Duncan Hunter, Jeff Jansen, Alex Jones, Gym Jordan, Randy Gene Kaufman, Brett Kavanaugh, Bernard Kerik, Joel Koskan, Nathan Larson, Anton Lazzaro (UPDATED!), Corey Lewandowski, Rush Limbaugh, Josh Mandell, Bud Marty May , Vance McAllister, Randy McNally (NEW!), John Merrill, Roy Moore, Brad Namdar, Jonathan Newel, Kristi Noem, Bill O'Reilly, Carl Paladino, Frank Pavone, Charles Peruto, Lawrence Ray, Tom Reed, Kevin Rinke, Rick Roeber, Chad Micheal Salsman, Bill Sanderson, Mark Sanford, George Santos, Matt Schlapp, Alek Skarlatos, Melvin Slack, Ken Starr(!!!), Kent Stermond, Sarah Stogner, Roger Stone, David Stringer, Charles Sutherland (NEW!), Van Taylor, Clarence Thomas, David Todeschini, Donald Trump, Ruben Verastigui, David Vitter, Aaron von Ehlinger, Herschel Walker, and Steve Wynn (#32, Feb. 2018)

And one for the indictment:

* A rich white man being held accountable for his crimes by due process of the law and Constitution is exactly the same thing as being murdered by a hate-filled racist mob. (#41, Oct 2019)

All-New More Things You Have To Believe To Be A Republican Today:

* Tap water makes people gay.

* Offensive to Christian Values™ : Sex education. Not offensive to Christian Values™ : Becoming a grandmother at age 36.

* It's clearly Joe Biden's fault that the Republican Congress and the Republican president deregulated the banks in 2018, leading to the collapse of Silicon Valley Bank.

* Empathy is bad.

Not that we're surprised by this, but it's nice--and a bit unnerving--to see them so openly admit it.

* Never ever negotiate with terrorists, except when doing so will help a Republican win an election.

* It's shocking and vulgar that disabled people wear undergarments.

* Demanding to have everyone who's investigating you removed from their jobs is a sign of innocence.

* Women < Children < Guns

* "Supporting the Troops": Blocking military promotions over unrelated social issues.

* Children need to be protected from books, but not guns.

* It must be a witch hunt when Donald Trump gets indicted for exactly the kind of crimes he loudly bragged on tape about committing.

[tanyev]

1. Becoming a grandmother at age 36 not offensive to Christian values anymore.

Because there was a time not so long ago when it was very, very offensive to them.