Trump Takes Out Full-Page Newspaper Ad Calling For Death Penalty For Himself

[Zorro]

NEW YORK—Paying out of pocket to print his reaction to a highly publicized court case in four area newspapers, former President Donald Trump took out full-page ads Tuesday calling for New York to reinstate capital punishment and sentence him to death following his historic indictment.

“This person must serve as an example so that others will think long and hard before committing a crime,” read the ad in which Trump, without directly naming himself as the defendant who should be executed by lethal injection, urged readers of The New York Times, the Daily News, the New York Post, and Newsday to show him no mercy.

“I am not looking to psychoanalyze or understand this person. I am looking to punish him. Let our politicians give back law enforcement’s power to keep us safe. We must cease our continuous pandering to the criminal population of this city. Send a message loud and clear to those who would terrorize New York—BRING BACK THE DEATH PENALTY!”

Trump went on to call himself a “depraved animal who needs to be put down immediately.”

https://www.theonion.com/trump-takes-out-full-page-newspaper-ad-calling-for-deat-1850299979

[louis-t]

1. The Onion has been on a roll.

Oh, Ah made a funny!

[Permanut]

9. I see what you did there.

Go to your room.

[Nasruddin]

10. Does have a ring to it

[Permanut]

13. Okay, you and louis-t have reached your quota of bad jokes.

Or as we used to call them in the family, Dad jokes.

[orangecrush]

17. Brings tears of laughter

To my eyes

[Biophilic]

2. Damn, once upon a time The Onion could rarely trick me.

Sadly those days are mostly gone. Once again I believed this story even though I couldn’t believe it. But than I often feel that way even when the story is real.

[orthoclad]

3. Satire is deeply challenged these days.

I miss Weekly World News

[BOSSHOG]

6. The story isn't real?

Don’t tease me.

[FakeNoose]

4. I hope he gets the SAME Jury that convicted the Central Park Five

That's what he deserves - a Karma Jury.

[dalton99a]

5. Kick

[Richard D]

7. Didn't he want to bring back . . .

. . . firing squads? Perhaps he should be the first. That's the penalty for treason, isn't it?

[republianmushroom]

8. I don't object, sounds good to me.

[mountain grammy]

11. Ha, sounds good to me..nailed it Onion.

[Smackdown2019]

12. If this is real....

Prosecutors could say he is UNFIT for trial. I did say COULD.... but they would ignore it as all the BS he spills....

[ExWhoDoesntCare]

21. It's the known satire site The Onion

Riffing off the slimy ad that horrible monster ran against the Central Park Five back in the 80s.

When an article seems too good to be true, scan down to the link, where you can find the source.

As soon as I saw the title, I knew the reference, ergo that this was either Borowitz or the Onion. I opened the post only to see which one it was.

[Warpy]

14. Narcissistic collapse with money

Some idiot(s) will help him recover from it after which TFG will turn on his benefactors.

A collapsed narcissist is one of the most pathetic creatures you'll ever see. If you want to help, don't. They will turn on you as soon as they feel better.

TFG's nearest and dearest are in for quite a roller coaster ride.

[Martin68]

15. I'm quite willing to agree with Trump on this point.

With The Onion, too.

[NullTuples]

16. For a moment I thought it was Trump's retribution to Yusef Salaam's recent full page ad

[Conjuay]

18. Damn, this ain't real?damn

[niyad]

19. I had to check the link.

[Faux pas]

20. Kickin'