I need advice dealing with my 83 year MAGA Mom

[Sedona]

My MAGA mom worships the ground TFG walks on and has since he emerged as the GQP nominee in 2016. Before that she was a Ben Carson supporter to show how not racist she is. She is totally racist.

She lives in red red red Central Florida with all her geriatric red hat friends just south of The Viliages. She could never afford to live there.

She's the daughter of a 50 + year US postal worker and a pretty liberated (for the 1950's ) mother who went to work at a bank after Mom and her brother got out of school. Mom's parents and late gay brother were dyed in the wool Massachusetts liberal FDR/JFK Democrats

MAGA Mom falls hook line and sinker for everything she hears in the RWNJ media and claims she never watches Fox for the last year or so. She's likely one of the lost viewers talked about in the Domionion case. Qanon? She's all about it. Plandemic? Yup. She posts TFG's Social posts on Facebook not realizing no one not paying for the "privilege " can see it. She's beyond redemption. Lost for good in the rabbit hole.

I call her once a week to see how she's doing. The conversations are pleasant. I help her over the phone occasionally with house hold and computer stuff etc. I traveled to Florida in the height of the pandeic (summer of 2020) to care for her after surgery. I'd do ANYTHING for her, and she me and we have.

We've decided not to EVER discuss politics. It never ends well.

I could go on and on about all the crazy shit she believes in. I have no idea how my formally FDR/JFK, anti war, green before it had a name, liberal Democratic mother turned into a deplorable but it is what it is.

Now you know the history, my dilemma. She sent me, unsolicited, a box of MY PILLOWS.

My daughter is convinced it's a MAGA passive aggressive stunt.

I did the good daughter thing and just said thank you and changed the subject. That didn't work. How did I like them? "Sorry mom, Jim and I are very fussy about our pillows, how about if I donate them to a domestic abuse shelter? " Nope.

Now she wants ME to spend $20 to pay the shipping and handling to fucking Mike Lindell to take the stupid over-priced, shitty pillows back and get her a credit. It's not the $20, I assure you. It's fucking Mike Lindel. I'm not giving the asshole trying to steal my vote in Georgia a dime of my hard earned money.

WTF do I do?

[SheilaAnn]

1. I would send them back to her, let her handle it. n/t

[ForgedCrank]

2. Well, sending

the pillows back is the only way you take money from Mike Lindell.
Keep them, and he keeps the money

[WarGamer]

3. This is how I'd play it.

Let people believe whatever they want.

If someone claims to be a flat Earther, don't tell them they're a moron... tell them to be careful on their upcoming Caribbean cruise because the ship might fall off the planet.

Tell her the pillows are great and give them to the dogs to sleep on...

[mountain grammy]

22. Agree with this.. or donate them. Just don't tell her.

[WarGamer]

23. yup.

[Haggard Celine]

26. Sometimes lying is best.

It can help calm some nerves, and that’s a good thing.

[Phoenix61]

4. Do you have any pets? Might you have pet sat a friends

pet in your home? Sometimes pets do bad things on pillows and they wouldn’t be returnable then. Just saying.

[XanaDUer2]

5. I would just tell her nicely, sorry mom

Don't waste your money on me for gifts. It's nice of you, but keep money for yourself. I'm not going to reimburse you.

It's very difficult. I probably would have told her we're using the pillows, though. My rw sister send me gifts I don't use, I just tell her thanks.

[Shermann]

6. Maybe they can be used with decorative pillow shams?

You could then tell her you love them on your bed in good faith.

[phylny]

7. It was a gift. Once you give a gift, you have no control over it.

My dad lived until age 93 and he was a Trumpster, although not too deranged about it. It was so sad for me to see him vote for and follow him. Yes, he watched Fox. We just didn't discuss politics.

Sorry for the wedge between you.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

8. Send her $20 bucks and tell her that was easier than the online rigamarole to get her a credit.

[ProudMNDemocrat]

9. If you can, drop them off at her door with a note....

Saying...."Thank you for thinking of me. You send these back and ask for a refund. I have pillows that work for me. Love, your Adult Child."

Or donate them to a Homeless shelter.

[Eko]

10. 1st of all $20 seems kinda high for shipping, was this what the usps told you?

2nd, if the amount crackhead mike is refunding your mother is more than the shipping then you are taking money from him. 3rd, know someone who smokes? Leave them at their house opened up and tell them to smoke around them, then return them. Or just send them back to your mom.

[cyclonefence]

11. Donate them to the Salvation Army

and send Mike Lindell a thank-you note from the Democratic party. Tell him they were used in a silent auction and raised lots of money for Stacy Abrams. Don't tell your mother. If pressed, tell her you gave them to a MAGAT neighbor who really wanted them but couldn't afford to buy them for herself.

Or just throw them away and tell your mother they came apart in the washer.

[nini]

12. Stand your ground whatever you do

You gotta treat her like you would a child since she's playing juvenile games.

Give her the pillows back and be done with it. She can be as pissy as she wants.. it's on her.

[Sky Jewels]

13. I don't have any advice, just an observation.

This is based on my own personal anecdotal information. There is something about the demographic group born around 1940 (give or take a couple years) that seems to be very conservative (in general -- yes, plenty of exceptions) and susceptible to propaganda (again, obviously not all). My (white) friends who have parents that age range just roll their eyes at how far right their parents went, and how much they love Fox. I don't know if it's that they came of age in the late 50s, or what. It's interesting though.

[yardwork]

24. My mother was a notable exception.

She was born in 1935. She died recently, of dementia. One of the last intentional things she did was vote against Trump in 2020. She was on fire to vote against him. One of my happiest memories is sitting with her as she filled out her absentee ballot.

She hated Trump and she totally got it. All of it. Said he was owned by the Russians in 2016.

[Sky Jewels]

28. She sounds like a wonderful woman.

I’m sorry about your loss.

My own mom was born a few years before yours and she’s still living and doing pretty well physically. She was a moderate Republican in my youth but morphed into a no-apologies liberal. I’m proud of her transformation.

[yardwork]

29. Good for your mom!

[barbtries]

14. she gave them to you.

can you burn them?

point is they are yours to do with as you please. If she inquires again you can tell her "we agreed to never talk about politics so this is a closed subject."

[Rebl2]

19. I would

Keep them and donate them to a shelter of some kind.

[Jirel]

15. Burn them and be done.

Seriously. A gift is a gift. That means you can do with them whatever you want, and she can say nothing about it. I think homeless folks don’t need really uncomfortable, crappy pillows that nobody wants to buy for good reason. But if someone might want one anyhow, donate. Otherwise, turn them into a Mike Lindell effigy with a bit of paint, and burn. Video it and send it to her.

Mom knew what she was doing. You don’t need to spend energy, time, or money returning this specific gift that was probably sent to prop up the dickhead and his company in some way.

[mobeau69]

16. My son gave me one. It's still all compressed with the wrapping on it. I just stored it. It makes

a good conversation piece from time to time.

[elleng]

17. I'd ignore.

[Marius25]

18. I would set them on fire and tell mom they made great tinder material

since that's all they're good for. Thanks!

[yardwork]

20. Pretend you like them, tell her you're keeping them, and donate them.

No point in arguing.

[ornotna]

21. Agreed

Lie, donate and move on.

[hippywife]

25. If they were delivered USPS...

and you haven't opened the box, you can just write Return to Sender and they will ship it back at no cost.

ETA: I don't believe this works if USPS only delivered the last mile (e.g. took handoff from Fedx or UPS), but I'm not really sure.

[gay texan]

27. If 20 bucks is all it takes to keep the peace

Then $20 it is.

[cayugafalls]

30. The payment for shipping is not going to Lindell. It goes to the carrier.

Rest easy and send them back. Send them back the slowest and cheapest method out there.

Lindell gets none of your money and peace is maintained.

[Rachel M at 6 pm]

31. "I donated them. Please don't do anything like that again."

"You know how I feel about TFG and his band of criminal accomplices, and that includes the My Pillow guy. Had you asked, I would have told you not to send the pillows."

Of course it's a MAGA passive aggressive stunt!

I have a lot of sympathy for you over this, which is why I hope you'll set some firm boundaries with her.