Dominion Trial Delayed Five Hours While Fox Anchors Apply Makeup

[jgo]

Satire from The Borowitz Report

"
Fox News Channel’s much anticipated defamation trial was unexpectedly delayed after the network’s anchors required five hours to have their makeup done.

Tucker Carlson and Sean Hannity, both expected to testify during the proceedings, were behind closed doors having what was described as “several substantial coats” of foundation, bronzer, and blush slathered onto their faces.

Judge Eric Davis called the delay “unacceptable,” reminding Fox’s attorneys that the trial was not even being televised.

But Dan Webb, Fox’s lead attorney, argued that, without their makeup, “Mr. Hannity and Mr. Carlson would be totally unrecognizable to the jury.”
"

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/dominion-trial-delayed-five-hours-while-fox-anchors-apply-makeup

[Marthe48]

1. Seriously?

I wonder if any drag queens ever spend that much time getting ready?

[jmowreader]

2. Are you kidding?

It didn’t take five hours to get Ron Perlman ready to play Hellboy!

[Marthe48]

3. lol

n/t

[HubertHeaver]

16. Seriously

Borowitz.

[Marthe48]

17. I missed that entirely

I should know better! lol

[HubertHeaver]

18. He's gotten me a few times

I'll be reading through an article and start to think "this can't be real" and it isn't.

[lpbk2713]

4. Putting on their "this is some serious shit" face

Faux is all show biz.

[TheBlackAdder]

19. What they will do for money.

.

.

[Boomerproud]

5. I think that was a joke.

[progressoid]

6. Hahahaha! Good one Borowitz

[Goonch]

7. 👇👇👇👇👇🤣

[stage left]

14. If I were Tucker

I'd fire my make-up artist.

[sdfernando]

8. I think it would take more than 5 hours

for Jeanine Pirro to even get sober enough to start with the make up.

[Marthe48]

9. Just saw the case settled

maybe makeup took so long because of tears running down from uncontrollable sobbing

[twodogsbarking]

10. Couldn't they just wear their white hoods?

[stage left]

13. +1

[infullview]

11. I love the New Yorker

They never fail to make me laugh.

[niyad]

12. I had to check the link.

[LetMyPeopleVote]

15. I love good satire

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