Why does Ted (Rafael) Cruz have an ugly beard?

[BidenRocks]

Anyone remember Jimmy Durante?
Ah cha cha cha. Good night Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are.
Watching Ari highlights it.
More distractions!

[TexasTowelie]

1. Because his clean-shaven face is uglier. nt

[hedda_foil]

2. He thinks it hides his ugly double chin.

(Psst Ted .... It doesn't.)

[pwb]

3. He keeps it in the heat so he must

have an ugly face.

[Blue Owl]

4. Trying not to look like the spineless, slime-ridden blobfish he is

[BidenRocks]

11. No matter how many times I see it

It's Ted!
Kiss me good night! Topo Gigio

[sl8]

25. That's unfair to blobfish:

Last edited Thu Apr 27, 2023, 09:21 AM - Edit history (1)

A bit like dragging a human 3,000 feet underwater before taking their picture.

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/in-defense-of-the-blobfish-why-the-worlds-ugliest-animal-isnt-as-ugly-as-you-think-it-is-6676336/

In Defense of the Blobfish: Why the ‘World’s Ugliest Animal’ Isn’t as Ugly as You Think It Is

The blobfish is the world’s ugliest animal. But we don’t think the contest was very fair

Colin Schultz

September 13, 2013

It’s that time again, when the whole world gathers together to pick on the blobfish.

Yesterday, after the votes were cast and tallied, the blobfish was deemed the world’s ugliest animal. The run-off was led by the Ugly Animal Preservation Society. The Society was looking for a mascot, an ugly mascot, a champion for all the animals out there whose unappealing visages garner them less support then their cute and cuddly brethren. As the Society says: “The panda gets too much attention.”

But though the cause may by noble, we think the world was too hard on our friend the blobfish (or, if you want to call him by his proper name—and really, he’d prefer it if you would!—Psychrolutes marcidus).

Honestly, we think that droopy blobfish up there is actually holding up alright considering everything it’s been through. Psychrolutes marcidus are a deep water fish that live off the coast of Australia, somewhere between 2,000 and 4,000 feet beneath the waves. Down there, the pressure is up to 120 times higher than it is at the surface. You wouldn’t want to be down there without an intense submarine. And, likewise, the blobfish really doesn’t like being up here.

[...]

[Gidney N Cloyd]

5. He doesn't even trim it well. And nobody likes him enough to tell him.

[Beautiful Disaster]

6. Because he's ugly and chubby and a beard hides some of it.

[Jerry2144]

7. It matches his

Ugly heart, mind, and soul

[Meadowoak]

9. It hides his ugly fat chin and hairlip

[Emile]

10. El Comandante Fidel Castro want to be.

[MurrayDelph]

12. Because he's incapable

of any other kind.

[ZonkerHarris]

13. He does it to hide a fat face. A lot of actors do it in Hollywood too. Anytime they put on weight

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

14. To hide his ugly face

[milestogo]

16. Thank you.

This is the correct answer.

[Shellback Squid]

15. it's not the beard...it's the beards foundation, Ted is just ugly

inside and out

[Walleye]

17. Because he can't stop talking long enough to shave

[GoodRaisin]

18. It's one of the worst beards I've ever seen. It looks like a bird nest

glued on to his face.

[2naSalit]

19. Too lazy to shave.

[lapfog_1]

20. ugly inside usually translates to ugly outside.

At least that is what my mother told me.

[ornotna]

21. It's the best that ugly soul can do

I'm surprised it doesn't smolder and smell like sulfur.

[Polybius]

22. Why does anybody have a beard?

There was a time recently when they were exceptionally rare in politics. They made a huge comeback the past 10 years.

[retread]

23. Everything about the man is "ugly". n/t

[Happy Hoosier]

24. Have you seen his chin!?

Ole Rafe has a face that resembles a wet sock.

[leftyladyfrommo]

26. He's just ugly all over. nt