Lauren Boebert's divorce exposes the dark little secret of red state life

[marmar]

Lauren Boebert's divorce exposes the dark little secret of red state life
Lauren Boebert's divorce is funny — it also reveals why GOP men are doubling down on the misogyny

By AMANDA MARCOTTE
Senior Writer
PUBLISHED MAY 18, 2023 6:00AM (EDT)


(Salon) When so much Republican behavior these days is too gross to be funny, there's something downright refreshing about old-fashioned Christian right hypocrisy. This time, it comes from Rep. Lauren Boebert of Colorado, a biological human being who nonetheless sounds exactly like ChatGPT channeling a Breitbart comment section. Boebert built her career on sanctimonious, though often incoherent, lectures on the supposed threats to the family of leftist sexual "depravities" like same-sex marriage or contraception use. She also filed for divorce last month, a fact that only got into the press this week. This follows other comical examples of Boebert's "family values," such as celebrating teen pregnancy or standing by her now-to-be ex-husband after he exposed himself to teen girls in a bowling alley.

Her choice to leave Jayson Boebert might be the first sign that there's functioning brain activity in Lauren Boebert's skull. As the bowling alley story suggests, the guy is a creep. He started dating then-Lauren Roberts when she was 16 and he was 22 years old. She dropped out of high school to give birth to their first child at 18. They got married two years later. During this time, he was arrested on domestic violence charges after a fight with her. In August, he was still at it, getting the cops called on him for reportedly threatening neighbors.

....(snip)....

This story is tasty gossip. But it's also a window into an aspect of red state life that hasn't been much discussed, one which is likely fueling the ugly surge in misogynist rhetoric and policy being pushed by Republicans, especially the men. The dark little secret of red state life is there's a lot of Lauren Boeberts out there: Conservative women who disavow feminism, but, when given a shot at more independence for themselves, gladly use hard-won rights like divorce and abortion. Republican men are getting increasingly angry about even this minor loss of control over women.

The results are ugly. A sexual predator is the frontrunner for the Republican nomination. Abortion bans keep getting passed, despite being wildly unpopular. And now there's even a GOP push to make it harder for people — mostly women — to file for divorce.

....(snip)....

It's not just abortion, however. As Tessa Stuart at Rolling Stone reported, "Republicans across the country are now reconsidering no-fault divorce," even though it's been legal in most states for decades. State Republican parties are adding the repeal of no-fault divorce to their party platforms, and even the national party looked at the issue in 2016. (And probably would have taken it more seriously if their candidate, Donald Trump, wasn't twice-divorced.) The reason isn't mysterious: 70% of divorces in the U.S. are initiated by women. ............(more)

https://www.salon.com/2023/05/18/lauren-boeberts-divorce-exposes-the-dark-little-secret-of-red-state-life/

[CrispyQ]

1. I take exception to calling Colorado a red state!

We have our hicks, sure, mountain & prairie, but that's no different than any other blue state. We are more blue than red.

Oh, & abortion is totally legal here.

[marmar]

2. "Red State Life" in this case is more figurative I'm guessing. ......

..... wasn't a great Salon headline, but there's "red state life" in every state.

[CrispyQ]

8. Agree.

However, I bristled when my home state was described as a red state with all those negative associations, & I really wanted to set the record straight on abortion!

[Zambero]

21. Hopefully her red state mentality in an increasingly blue state will be her undoing

[momta]

59. Thank you.

I bristled as well. I live in the district next door to Boebert's, and I intend to campaign hard against her. I wish I could vote against her, but I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure she loses.

[CrispyQ]

62. It was soooooo close!

Didn't she benefit from some redistricting? I know her district was redefined before the last—very close!—election.

[Cha]

68. TY! Colorado is my Home State, too..

and I was about to post that Colorado is a BLUE state.. but then I realized they meant the "red state mentality".

Please let Adam Frisch WIN in 2024!

[OldBaldy1701E]

84. Yeah, I used to get upset about everyone picking on my home state too.

Unfortunately, my home state has shown me time and time again that its usually warranted.

[niyad]

7. I think it refers to state of mind more than anything.

[jaxexpat]

20. Well there's Red Rock and it's beautiful....

amphitheater, after all. So if Colorado is a red state due to it's rocks then Utah is even redder.

Just saying.

[Wonder Why]

56. Three Red Rocks in Colorado when you include Boebert and her husband.

[colorado_ufo]

33. I had the same reaction!

And I live in her district!

[Rebl2]

34. Same here

The area she lives may be red, but I didn’t think the state was.

[AdamGG]

79. Ever since Barack got the nomination in Denver in 2008...

Colorado has been solidly blue in every presidential election.

[dalton99a]

3. Kick

[malaise]

4. Get thee to the greatest page

for visibility and truth

[Wounded Bear]

5. What would republicanism be without a hefty load of hypocrisy?

[concretebluetwo]

24. If Republicans....

"If Republicans didn't have Hypocrisy all they would have left is the Stupidity."
Me.

[PatSeg]

36. That's perfect!

[MiHale]

37. Ok, that provoked a big chuckle...

[MustLoveBeagles]

53. LoL 😂

[mac56]

60. Stealing. Thanks.

[GB_RN]

83. Not True...

They’d also have denial and projection! You know, the thing that’s an alternative to a river in Egypt and the thing that’s often found outside movie theaters. 😂

[niyad]

6. A most enlightening read about the deep misogyny of the gqp.

Would you consider cross-posting this in Women's Rights And Issues? Thanks in advance.

The 70 percent statistic certainly illuminates the push against the divotce laws.

[marmar]

9. sure thing

[Beachnutt]

10. Somebody get him on tv and let him tell

her little secrets.

[speak easy]

29. Not sex secrets,

please.

[Johnny2X2X]

11. Important aspect

Some younger people I've spoken to don't even realize that divorce was a hard fought right, and that there was a time in America where judges wouldn't grant a divorce to women if the husband said no. People fought in this country for all sorts of things people like Boebert just take for granted. Her right to divorce, her right to wear the clothes she wants to wear, her right to own a restaurant, her right to go to a bar, her rights to control over her own body, her right to call the police when her husband was beating her and have the police do something about it, her right to be free from being raped by her husband, these and so many more rights, all of which were brought to her by Liberals fighting for them.

And these very rights she enjoys can be taken away, and she is in fact in favor of taking many of them away. I doubt Bobo has the self awareness to realize any of this though.

[CrispyQ]

14. +1

Your comment should go viral.

[ancianita]

16. +1

[LittleGirl]

30. You got that right! nt

[leftstreet]

31. +1

[CaptainTruth]

38. +100

[NullTuples]

44. Right? Some of our grandmothers were born in an era when women couldn't even vote.

And women could go to jail for wearing pants.

Some of our mothers were born right around the time women gained the right to file for divorce.

When I was born, women couldn't serve on a jury, not until the early-mid 1970's. Or get a divorce over domestic violence. Or open a bank account or credit card.

VAWA didn't come about until the 1990's. One of its many provisions is for a woman to be able to file charges of rape against her husband.

Since my daughter was born, all 50 states - finally in 2014 - passed laws to allow couples to live together without having to get married first.

I fear many young people aren't aware of how recently some of these rights & moves toward equity were gained. I hope we can raise awareness in them after what has been happening to abortion. The GOP, like rats nibble away at the edges first, then take bigger and bigger bites if they don't sense danger.

[LoisB]

49. +1000

[Niagara]

55. +1000 The right to have her own bank account and credit card account,

These financial rights were given to women that the Democratic party fought for in 1973.



1973!


1973!


I repeated that year since it's absurd that it took too long for women to obtain their own financial freedom. The Republican party fought against women obtaining their own financial freedom.

[Skittles]

82. as a single woman I had a very hard time getting my first credit card

and I was in the military!

[Niagara]

86. This discrimination against women happened on a regular basis prior to ECOA.

This was way before I existed; I've never had to experience the struggle of not being able to establish my own line of credit.


I've heard plenty of horror stories however.



Another reason why I'm a Democratic voter and another talking point that I like to hit the opposition with on a frequent basis

[Skittles]

87. I was declined even for a gas station credit card

what I did was write to Shell, pleading my case for a card....that worked. And then I was able to use that card to help me get a regular credit card. I found out none of my single guy friends had to do that.....yeah, it sucked

[GrapesOfWrath]

61. This right here

Nailed it! Thank you 😊

[mountain grammy]

69. Exactly!

[Hugh_Lebowski]

12. Dude's a liability to her greater political ambitions for one thing ...

I also wouldn't be surprised if there was some kind of major disagreement regarding their 18 yo son's paternity situation. Not sure how that would've worked out but that's a potentially stressful situation on a family.

[dembotoz]

17. he has to go away

[Ray Bruns]

13. "Lauren Boebert's divorce exposes the dark little secret of red state life"

Is this like the secret of how hard healthcare reform was to Trump?

[LonePirate]

15. Wasn't she allegedly having an affair with a Pastors for TFG member?

Supposedly the pastor is married as well. This is a scandal that would have rocked the 1950s to their core.

[Upthevibe]

18. marmar..........

Excellent article.

Thank you for posting.....

[SouthernDem4ever]

19. "Her choice to leave Jayson Boebert might be the first sign that there's functioning brain activity

Not likely.

[runnergirl]

41. ☠️ you owe me 2oz of coffee

after I lost it by snorting at this comment.

[ecstatic]

22. Wow. I didn't see it coming (qop attacking no fault divorce)

I knew they'd be coming for birth control next but I guess I'm just now thinking about their end game. They want to turn the clock back completely. Everything is on the table, including limiting our right to work and vote, I assume. In the qop utopia, casual sex without access to birth control is too risky. You want to have sex? You have to get married. And then you have to have however many kids your body can make until you die or until your husband decides to go celibate.

Meanwhile, unlike in the 50s and 60s, the kids born from these government engineered relationships will not be guaranteed a free public education or decent paying jobs in America. So I have to wonder, is the qop really thinking their plans through? Because their right wing view on social issues don't match up with their greed. There's a disconnect there. Or am I missing something else?

[speak easy]

32. Thomas wants to revisit Griswold v. Connecticut.

[keep_left]

52. They started in on that when Steven Crowder's wife filed for divorce after years of abuse.

All the terminally-online commentators (Candace Owens et al) began whining about no-fault divorce--all at exactly the same time--proving ipso facto that this is being organized from the top down, and the talking points probably arrived on the morning blast fax from one of their "think" tanks.

https://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=17919439

[malthaussen]

58. I remember this puzzled me when I was younger.

The whole "virgin whore" thing seemed really illogical to me. Men want sex, but they don't want women to have it. Where did they get it, I wondered? After all, they were supposed to teach their virgin wives all about the process, where were they supposed to get the expertise? I asked this once in a counselling training session, and the moderator -- who had a PhD in counselling, mind you, explained that men were supposed to get their expertise from sluts and then teach it to their wives. Who apparently were supposed to love it with their husbands, but hate the idea of it with anyone else.

Kind of mind-blowing. I mean, all empty mouth-noises about morality aside, this concept of women being simultaneously chaste and lustful provided an insight to me about how women are whipsawed in so many ways by our cuture's contradictory expectations. It just seems terribly nonsensical to me. And the more I examined the question in this light, the more I saw that kind of whipsawing occurring in several different places.

Anyway, it looks like the end-game is to go back to a time when the only women who enjoyed sex were sluts by definition, and therefore fair game (because if she's a slut, then naturally she has no say in who has sex with her). I guess the whole point is to remove any choice from the female, which is apparently emasculating to these people. After all, a real man doesn't take "no" for an answer.

-- Mal

[raccoon]

76. Great post. Sounds like you grew up where I did.

[Aviation Pro]

23. All you need to know about red states is answered by how many strip joints they have

These are sexually repressed people fueled on by religion and hate for women.

[boston bean]

40. A church on every other corner, a strip club on the remaining.

Comical really.

[The Jungle 1]

26. 70 % initiated by women?

I would like to read some discussion on that number.
In my area of the country it is/was chivalrous to allow the woman to file.
Ok we are getting divorced and yes you can file.
Could be this tradition is long past?

[progressoid]

54. I hadn't really thought about it until I read that statistic...

this is obviously anecdotal but of the divorces I'm familiar within my circle of friends and family, that 70 percent is pretty close. Or maybe it could be slightly higher in my circle.

I can only think of 2 men who initiated the divorce. The rest were by the women (most with good reason ).

[Silver Swan]

57. When my mother would hear of a man whose wife had left him

She would ask, "What did he do to make her leave?"

My former spouse never told me he wanted a divorce. I was notified by his attorney. I hired my own attorney and waited for him to file. My attorney kept prodding me to file, but I said it was his game, his move. He finally did file. I did not want to be part of the numbers indicating that most divorces are initiated by women, because it wasn't true in my case.

[GenThePerservering]

64. I've never heard of this so-called "chivalrous"

tradition. Great - the wife can file for the divorce, which neatly puts the blame on her for breaking up the marriage with her poor misunderstood husband. Sorry - that's mysoginist BS.

[The Jungle 1]

66. I think it was the flip side of your example.

That poor girl put up with so much she had to divorce him.

[mgardener]

27. This could be a dangerous time for her

She will no longer be under his "control".
I don't care for her or her politics, but she and her kids need to watch out.

[rownesheck]

28. As much as I despise Boebert,

I'm glad she's able to get out of her relationship with a predator.

[Blue Owl]

35. I bet the GOP has thousands upon thousands of dirty little secrets

[Traildogbob]

39. Booobert and MTG

Both found themselves some good DC Christian men, men that will not try to live off their $270,000 hand out to play everyday AND the millions BOTH have made under the table. It was time to dump those Taker red neck husbands. Plus Mr Boebert’s tattoo has gotten too faded.
And they needed to act quickly before GQP Christian’s outlaw divorce. How many were between trump and Rudy, and let’s throw in Gingrich just for fun?

[Richard D]

42. Dark little secret . . .

. . . hypocrisy. Not so little. Really dark.

[themaguffin]

43. There's nothing Christian or pro-life about conservatives or conservatism.

[markodochartaigh]

45. I'm not a woman, so report/remove this comment if you like.

But it seems to me that those of us who haven't lived in extremely conservative, extremely religious families and churches honestly can't imagine what it is like to be a woman, especially a wife, in these communities. Not only that, we generally don't understand that we are completely ignorant of this reality. It is easy to say that I can't imagine how life must be for a widow in Sudan who has seen her husband and children killed, but it is more difficult for me to realize that I can't really imagine what life is like for a woman who I see in the grocery store or driving down the street here in MainStreet USA. I never really understood that abortion/reproductive choice was about control because I have never experienced having someone else control my reproductive system. I had a lack of empathy without even realizing it.

[momta]

63. I AM a woman. And your comment is excellent.

I think there are a lot of men out there who have a "lack of empathy" and not only do they not realize it...they don't care. Good on you for using your brain and your heart to come to some understanding.

[markodochartaigh]

67. Thank you

nt

[Aaeia]

46. Bedrooms

When the state moves into its' constituents bedrooms then you know you're now living in fascism.

[SCantiGOP]

47. Why do you think they wanted small government?

It had to be small enough to fit in your bedroom and the doctor’s exam room.

[hibbing]

48. Wait until they go after birth control n/t

[dchill]

50. Someone has to care - in the settlement...

...who gets custody of the guns?

[Hortensis]

51. I'm afraid empowerment of women isn't a secret in the south,

a dark one or otherwise. They just haven't adopted the word feminism into southern culture because they associate it with Yankee libs and less-embraced liberal notions.

It's very ignorant to imagine most southerners hold fundamentalist views on women's roles. Those who actually believe women should be subservient to men are a small part of the whole, as they are in all states. The percent with college education in the south for both sexes is about 36%, btw, compared to 40% nationally, and more southern women are getting degrees than men.

Even most of the subset of girls who ARE raised with those beliefs disagree strongly with applying biblical precepts to their daily lives. For those who do, promising to obey their husbands at the altar is a fine old religious tradition but bears about the same relation to today's reality as white bridal gowns do to bridal chastity in general.

One marriage we attended with our eyebrows maximally hiked at the wow!-vows the college-educated bride was taking lasted less than 4 months. Her husband made the mistake of believing her holy promise to hold herself in submission to his decisions would apply to real life. Due in part to her strong fundamentalist upbringing and large, close family, she hadn't thought it quite through beforehand either, but she had rock-solid views by the time she was free again.

[Grins]

65. "...repeal of no-fault divorce"? Can it be retroactive?

Just so I can watch heads explode!

[C Moon]

70. I guessed this one wrong: I thought she was the bad apple in the marriage. nt

[Martin68]

71. The biggest danger to Republican families is Republican ideology.

[Shermann]

72. The real dark little secret is that there's more than one dark little secret nt

[Victor_c3]

73. Interesting points

I didn’t know that single moms do less housework and have more personal leisure time than married moms. As a single father, I know the same is very true for me since my divorce. I actually have time for hobbies and I’m able to have friends and relationships outside of work now that I’m not married anymore.

I have my kids a 3-5 nights a week and, despite the fact that I don’t see them everyday, the quality of time I have with them is significantly better than it was when I was married. Divorce is one of the best things that’s happened to me in my life.

[dlk]

74. If men aren't taught or don't learn how to nuture

They will be afraid and they will try to destroy what they fear.

[LetMyPeopleVote]

75. MORE details have emerged about Lauren Boebert's divorce filing and they are something else.

Link to tweet

MORE details have emerged about Lauren Boebert’s divorce filing and they are something else.

Here are the details:

- First, her husband of two decades was absolutely furious.

It was previously reported that Boebert filed an appeal April 25 dissolution seeking to end her marriage to Jayson Boebert, with whom she shares four sons.

An affidavit of service, obtained by The Daily Beast, indicated that Jayson Boebert appeared to be caught off guard by the court proceedings.

He chased away a process server with an expletive-laden tirade and let his dogs loose when he was served with the divorce papers, the affidavit said.

“Once he learned that he was being served with Dissolution of Marriage papers he was extremely angry,” the process server wrote. “I tried to hand him the documents but did not take them. He started yelling and using profanities, and told me that I was trespassing, and that he was calling the Sheriff’s Office. I told him I was leaving the documents on the chair outside of the door, he closed the door then let the dogs out.”

The document noted that Jayson was cleaning a gun and drinking a “tall glass of beer” when he was served.

- Second, Lauren Boebert’s heartbroken husband says he still loves her despite the divorce.

Jayson and Boebert had their fair share of brushes with law enforcement during their time together. Jayson was arrested in 2004 for exposing his penis to two women at a bowling alley—a crime he pleaded guilty to.

Talk about family values?

[BlueWaveNeverEnd]

77. excellent article

[PlutosHeart]

78. I have no sympathy for her.

Or any other oppressed red state Conservative female politician that has no conscience while she destroys lives. Evil lies still within.

[RANDYWILDMAN]

80. She is a coward and weasel

but her divorce is her business, unless she brings her brand of stupid into other people lives, then it's fair game.


the idiots, I mean evangelicals will forgive because they are devout NUTS and do not understand religion at all.


Sounds like she married a winner, hope he got his share of her crazy and visa versa, feel sorry for their children.

[SunSeeker]

81. "Statistics even show that single mothers have more free time than married mothers."

Last edited Fri May 19, 2023, 01:47 AM - Edit history (1)

I can attest to that!

Also this from the article:

Finding a good man is hard. It's safer and smarter to be able to take care of yourself and keep your options open. Life without men is often, frankly, easier.

And this:

As journalist Lyz Lenz writes in her newsletter, "Maybe 70 percent of women file for divorce because having a husband adds seven extra hours of housework, work that a wife is expected to do. Maybe it's because women, despite also having full-time jobs, still do the majority of childcare and housework." A lot of women are sick of it — even women who claim to disagree with feminism. But it's also no surprise that men aren't going to let all that free labor get away from them so easily.

That's why Republicans want to keep women barefoot and pregnant...so women can't get away!

But Boebert is willing to carve out an exception for herself.

[IronLionZion]

85. I'm still not convinced "there's functioning brain activity in Lauren Boebert's skull"

MAGAland is up to their eyeballs in hypocrisy. Conservatives are all about repressed perversions while blaming woke liberals. You know they get abortions for their daughters and mistresses all the time. GOP family values requires domestic violence and threatening people because they don't value families.