Top 10 Conservative Idiots Best Of #28: Best Of Season 14 Edition

[Top 10 Idiots]

Last edited Wed Sep 20, 2023, 02:17 PM - Edit history (5)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots Best Of #28: Best Of Season 14 Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Oh hello, I know, right? We’re one week into our nearly month and a half long hiatus so we’re just kicking back with a couple of cold ones at our set at our home base at the Constellation Room in Santa Ana. Now look, I know there’s a lot of rumors out there about what’s going to happen to the Top 10 after season 15. And I can assure you that we’re going to address those in due time. But right now, what I can tell you is that the beginning of 2024 right now is looking very uncertain. But not because of COVID or anything of that nature. ALL IS WELL!!! Yes, I am that guy right now with my staff. One thing I can reveal is that our 15th season will center around the road to the 2024 presidential campaign. Will our current president, Joseph R. Biden, ultimately prevail, or will Ron DeSantis kill us all? Yes, we’re there with everything going into the 2024 Iowa Straw Poll. But the reason why I know you’re here is that you want to know our Season 15 tour dates! Well here they are!

- 7/20/23 – Constellation Room At Observatory OC, Santa Ana, CA
- 7/27/23 - Flappers Comedy Club, Burbank, CA
- 8/3/23 – Miami Improv, Miami, FL
- 8/10/23 –Orlando Improv, Orlando, FL
- 8/17/23 – Dark
- 8/24/23 - Dark
- 8/31/23 – Tampa Improv, Tampa FL (Wheel Of Corruption)
- 9/7/23 – Gainesville, FL *CANCELLED DUE TO EXTREME WEATHER*
- 9/14/23 – Tallahassee, FL *CANCELLED DUE TO EXTREME WEATHER* - moved to San Diego
- 9/21/23 – Cap City Comedy Club, Austin, TX - moved to Riverside
- 9/28/23 – Cap City Comedy Club, Austin, TX
- 10/5/23 – Dark
- 10/12/23 – Grammercy Theater, New York City, NY
- 10/19/23 – Comedy Off Broadway, Lexington, KY
- 10/26/23 – DC Improv, Washington, DC (Halloween Special)
- 11/3/23 – Dark
- 11/9/23 – Zanies Comedy Club, Nashville, TN (Wheel Of Corruption)
- 11/16/23 – Brad Garrett’s Comedy Club, Las Vegas, NV
- 11/23/23 – Dark (Thanksgiving)
- 11/30/23 - Levity Live, Oxnard, CA
- 12/7/23 - Constellation Room At Observatory OC, Santa Ana, CA
- 12/14/23 - Constellation Room At Observatory OC, Santa Ana, CA


OK that’s it for the schedule! We have something exciting planned for our last Top 10 of the year but we cannot reveal it yet. We’re under strict NDAs. OK that’s enough of the intro, but first while we’re waiting for the WGA strike to settle, let’s play that insane John Oliver episode where he goes through a 28 minute history of Chuck-E-Cheeses:

So where do we begin for this Best Of for season 14? Well for the number one seed, it comes from Idiots #14-3 when conservatives flouted some absolutely batshit insane theories about why a Chinese spy balloon (1) entered US airspace above Montana, and would you be surprised that the MAGAs’ first reaction was to shoot it? Eh, us neither! In the second slot, from Idiots #14-1, our segment where we catch up on stuff we missed takes a look at Trump’s insanely ridiculous NFT trading cards (2) and it’s causing even some of his most hardcore supporters to question their loyalty! It’s like that scene in Avengers: Age Of Ultron when Ultron usurps JARVIS. In the number 3 slot this week, is Kevin McCarthy (3) who, as first act of his term as Speaker Of The House, gifted Tucker Carlson with some 14,000 hours of footage relating to January 6th, because, reasons, I guess. In the number 4 slot this week, from Idiots #14-8, is MAGA conservatives (4) who were blaming the collapse of Silicon Valley Bank on “wokism”, but really the cause of this death was entirely self-inflicted because of terrible conservative policies. In the number 5 slot, from Idiots #14-5, we have a Top 10 Investigates (5) that explores some absolutely bizarre uses for emerging AI technology, and well, let’s just say we ain’t seen nothing yet! In the number six slot, we have a special brand new Holy Shit for you! Yes, Pat Robertson (6) died, so our resident pastor wants to honor his legacy by playing some of his greatest hits, and trust us, he’s got some gems. And yes, we’re being sarcastic in case you can’t tell! In the number 7 slot, from Idiots #14-13, our pop culture segment Beating A Dead Horse (7), the conservatives’ war on “wokeism” and “woke ideals” is forcing some MAGAs to open literal spite stores, and many of them apparently don’t know how to run businesses or supply chains, shocker I know! In the number 8 slot this week, from Idiots #14-14, our segment that ventures into the world of online tin foil hat nuttery, Conspiracy Corner (8) brings us highlights from CPAC in Hungary – a country that is embracing far right totalitarian ideals and is what the future the far right wants for America. Scary shit! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot, from Idiots #14-9, the capital of Saskatchewan, Regina, is in some very deep trouble over a recent attempt to rebrand, and their apology is the most Canadian thing we’ve ever seen! Finally this week from Idiots #14-11, our Stupidest State (10) contest recaps the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference championship that saw Ohio defeat Nevada by a huge margin! And to cap things off, that time when the man, the myth, the legendary blues man Joe Bonamassa stopped by the show! Enjoy! And as always don't forget the Key!

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]The Chinese Spy Balloon Incident
[br] [/font] [br]

From: Idiots #14-3

Last week is one of those times when I absolutely thank the highest of high gods that Joe Biden is president and not the orange bloviating asshole. Because we had an incident and you may have heard about it, involving a Chinese spy balloon that appeared over Montana airspace. Of course it sent the MAGA conspiracy theory wing of the GOP into batshit overdrive mode. And you know what? For the purposes of this segment, let’s name this week’s edition after the Weeknd’s debut album “House Of Balloons”. Though let’s change it a bit and call it “House Of Chinese Spy Balloons”. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! By the way before next week’s edition we want to know who wore it better – Marjorie Greene or the Howler Monkey? Our money’s on the monkey. Let us know in the comments section! But OK getting back to the story though, this whole thing is insane. And like most things that have happened in the last 7 years, this story is the stuff of insanity and it only gets weirder the more you dig into it.

A mysterious object high above commercial air traffic. Military aircraft scrambled, then ordered to stand down. Urgent phone calls between U.S. and Chinese officials.

A single missile, fired from an F-22 stealth fighter jet.

As a Chinese spy balloon made its way east across the United States last week, a military and diplomatic crisis played out on the ground.

Here’s a day-to-day timeline of events leading up to the dramatic shootdown over the water off the East Coast on Saturday. The following is based on interviews with three senior U.S. officials, all of whom asked not to be named due to the sensitivity of the situation.
https://www.politico.com/news/2023/02/05/timeline-a-chinese-spy-balloons-7-day-trip-across-the-united-states-00081222

Yeah calm your t’s, people! Come on really! By the way, Fox News and the MAGA conspiracy theory wing of the GOP, no, we don’t give a flying fuck about what Trump would have done if he had been in the same situation. Trump would have launched a nuke over St. Louis and caused tons of casualties and we’d be dealing with nuclear fallout damage for the next century. That much we know is true! But apparently one thing we do know is true is that China apparently did spy on us with these balloons during the Trump administration, and he of course did nothing about it. I would assume because all the Big Macs and Diet Cokes went straight to his head during his rage tweeting toilet sessions.

A US military intelligence report from last year that focused on China’s use of high-altitude balloons mentioned sightings in Hawaii and Florida during the Trump presidency, according to an excerpt of the report reviewed by CNN.

The April 2022 report, titled “People’s Republic of China High-Altitude Balloon,” found a Chinese spy balloon “circumnavigated the globe” in 2019 – while Donald Trump was president – at an altitude of roughly 65,000 feet, and “drifted past Hawaii and across Florida before continuing its journey,” the US Air Force document states.

The Air Force intelligence report is the first indication that the US military was aware of Chinese spy balloons well before the latest incident.

However, it is not clear from the documents when US officials first became aware of the Chinese flights or what they assessed regarding their purpose.
https://www.cnn.com/2023/02/06/politics/military-intelligence-report-china-balloon-trump/index.html

And here’s where it gets weird, because you knew it was going to. Of course, like most weird things, it involves our good friend Marjorie Three Names. So any time something doesn’t go 100% in favor of the Fox News MAGA America First Taliban Oath Keepers Proud Boys Conspiracy Theory cult, their natural instinct is to assume that there’s some kind of underlying conspiracy or it didn’t happen or it was a false flag. It’s so hard to keep their bullshit straight anymore. But one thing we do agree on is that something doesn’t pass the smell test here.

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.) on Monday called for a probe into why former President Trump was apparently not informed of previous Chinese surveillance balloons that Biden officials are saying crossed over the U.S. at least three times during the previous administration.

“If it’s true the Pentagon purposely did NOT tell President Trump of Chinese Spy Balloons during his administration then we had a serious breach in command during the Trump admin,” Greene said on Twitter.

“The POTUS is the Commander in Chief. We must investigate and hold accountable those who broke rank,” the longtime Trump ally said.

President Biden ordered the U.S. military on Saturday to shoot down a suspected Chinese surveillance balloon that had spent days floating over the country in what defense officials later said was a clear effort to spy on sensitive sites.
https://thehill.com/homenews/house/3845713-greene-calls-for-probe-into-why-trump-was-unaware-of-previous-chinese-balloons/

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! OK, MAGAs, let’s play your conspiracy theory game here for a minute. What if this were a bigger story in 2019? It would have absolutely broken social media feeds everywhere, and it probably would have triggered an international incident. But Trump always takes the wrong side on everything and he would have reacted very poorly. It must suck to be a fact checker these days because the claims coming from conspiracy theorists get weirder and nuttier by the hour. No, the Pentagon didn’t detect these balloons back in 2019. Sorry, Tucker and Hannity.

A top U.S. general said that the Pentagon did not detect previous Chinese spy balloons as they were in the air, after former President Trump and members of his administration vehemently denied a claim from defense officials that such balloons had flown over the U.S. at least three times during his presidency.

Gen. Glen VanHerck, the head of U.S. Northern Command, said Monday that the Defense Department “did not detect” the previous balloons, adding that the intelligence community was made aware of them through other means of information collection.

“We did not detect those threats,” VanHerck told reporters. “The intel community after the fact — I believe as has been briefed already — assessed those threats from additional means of collection and made us aware of those balloons that were previously approaching North America or transited North America.”

President Biden ordered the latest Chinese surveillance balloon, which spent days in U.S. airspace, to be shot down off the coast of South Carolina on Saturday. The U.S. is currently trying to recover the debris, hoping to glean intelligence from the wreckage.
https://thehill.com/policy/defense/3846363-pentagon-did-not-detect-previous-chinese-spy-balloons-us-general/

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Catch Up On Stuff We Missed Pt 2: Trump’s NFT Collection
[br] [/font] [br]
From: Idiots #14-1

We’re approaching nearly 300 editions of the Top 10 and that might be the first time I’ve ever used the Plagiarism icon. But we got to talk about it, because we got absolutely flooded with requests to talk about this topic, so we can’t ignore it! Got to give the audience what they want! So, as we were finalizing our season finale, the 2022 Year In Review Edition, Trump was breaking right wing social media with his announcement that there was a “BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!!!” coming. Many were speculating that he was going to be naming his 2024 VP pick, for which Marjorie Greene and Kari Lake were both getting their prime ass kissing lips ready for. But nope. In fact nobody was expecting this. Trump announced his own line of collectible, randomly assigned NFT trading cards. Yes, NFTs. Which are basically everything you don’t know about art combined with everything you don’t know about finance. And it was in typical Trump fashion, truly the stuff of insanity!

Former President Trump’s digital trading cards have sold out less than 24 hours after he first announced they were available.

As of Friday morning, the site selling the non-fungible tokens (NFTs) says they are sold out, and links to purchase the digital cards are no longer available.

OpenSea Data, which tracks the sales and markets for NFTs, indicated there were 45,000 of the Trump cards initially made available for purchase for $99 each. The Trump digital cards were the top trending item on the site as of Friday morning.

Trump posted on Truth Social on Wednesday that he would be making a “major announcement” without providing any details. Some had speculated the announcement would be related to the Speaker race playing out among House Republicans or Trump’s largely inactive 2024 presidential campaign.
https://thehill.com/policy/technology/3777969-trumps-digital-cards-sell-out-within-a-day/

You know, say what you want about the MAGAs, but one thing that we have learned and seen in the years that we’ve been doing this program, is that they spend a lot of money on a lot of ridiculously stupid shit! But never in a million years did I ever think they would spend $99 for a JPG image of him as an astronaut or a wild west sheriff in made up cryptocurrency money. And here’s the thing that I’ve been learning about crypto currency – the whole fucking thing was made up! So yeah they can control the value of these NFTs, and my favorite thing was that Trump included a clause that if you resold NFTs, he got a cut of the profits! You can’t make up what a cheap asshole he is! But look at the fabulous prizes you can win!

According to data from NFT marketplace OpenSea, the same wallet that sold the original NFTs is minting tokens that serve as access passes to the sweepstakes prizes touted during the launch of the Trump Digital Trading Card collection in December.

The tokens feature images of Trump holding a sign resembling a ticket, listing the prizes promoted during the original mint. These include a group Zoom call, a gala dinner and a hardcover copy of his book “Our Journey Together.”

The collection now has a trading volume of 35 ETH, or about $48,500, and a floor price of 0.021 ETH, or nearly $30.

Where the tokens in the original mint cost $99 to mint and enter the sweepstakes, the new token prices range depending on the rarity of the experience. While the group Zoom call costs 0.03 ETH, or $40 to access, a one-on-one meeting with the 45th president is listed at 200 ETH, or about $278,000. According to the official sweepstakes rules, the average retail value of the one-on-one meeting with Trump at Mar-a-Lago is “$0/Priceless.”

The original collection has seen a dramatic drop in trading volume since it launched, with a current floor price of 0.17 ETH (about $235) and an almost 99% drop in trading volume since its peak, according to data from CryptoSlam.
https://www.coindesk.com/web3/2023/01/12/trump-digital-trading-card-project-mints-nfts-for-winners-of-prizes/

See here’s the thing MAGAs, we’re not “owned” and you’re not making us “cry”. If anything we’re laughing at how stupid and ridiculous you are. You’re the ones who bought Trump NFTs based on imaginary made up money that was proven to be a ponzi scheme and you’re the ones who got owned in this. I mean come on, Trump’s too cheap to even hold the grand prize in Mar-A-Shithole! And did you really think you were getting a 5 star gourmet meal? No! You’ll probably get Big Macs that were left under a heat lamp for 2 hours or maybe a well done steak slathered in ketchup. If you’re lucky. And you’ll also be on the hook for your own travel expenses. Some prize.

Buyers of newly released NFTs featuring former President Donald Trump will be entered to win a 20-minute meeting with him at Mar-a-Lago, but winners will have to cover their own travel and lodging expenses, according to the project's website.

Trump announced the digital trading cards — which feature images of the former president as a superhero, an astronaut, and a Top Gun-style pilot, among others — on Thursday after hyping up a "major announcement" the day before. The trading cards are being sold as non-fungible tokens, or NFTs, for $99 each.

Although Trump in November announced his plans to run for president in 2024, money from the sale of the cards will not go to Trump's campaign, according to the website. The company behind the cards is not owned by Trump but uses his likeness and image under a paid license.

Purchasers of the card will also automatically be entered into a sweepstakes for a "chance to win 1000's of incredible prizes and meet the one and only #45!" though a purchase of a card is not required to enter the contest. According to the fine print, the prizes include 2,533 NFTs, totaling an approximate value of $54,695.
https://www.businessinsider.com/trump-nft-win-mar-a-lago-meeting-pay-travel-lodging-2022-12

See MAGAs? You got conned and you fall for scammers and hucksters and con artists and sleazy talk show hosts every single time. While you’re losing money on stupid shit because you’ve been had with your imaginary crypto money, I’m putting my feet on the desk, drinking a beer and laughing straight the fuck at you. You bought something that’s totally worthless and Don The Con is laughing all the way to the bank! And by the way not only are the NFTs you paid $99 for completely worthless, they’ve also diminished any hope Trump has of being a serious politician ever again. Hell, even Saturday Night Live at the height of the Trump administration with Alec Baldwin playing him every week, couldn’t possibly think up something this ridiculous!

Donald Trump’s first official NFT collection was the talk of the crypto world late last week, captivating Twitter and late night TV in the process. But after prices and trading volume surged over the weekend, both metrics have fallen sharply as the hype around the disgraced former U.S. president’s project is apparently fading.

Trump’s digital trading cards, which are minted on Ethereum scaling network Polygon, peaked on Saturday, December 17 with over $3.5 million worth of trading volume, per data from CryptoSlam. Sales price rose even higher on Sunday, with the NFTsselling for an average of just over $680 apiece, although total volume fell to nearly $1.95 million for the day.

On Monday, however, day-over-day trading dropped 57% to about $836,000 worth of ETH, with the average sale price falling to about $466. Today, the cheapest available Trump NFT up for sale on leading marketplace OpenSea is listed at just 0.21 ETH, or about $255.

(snip)

Momentum peaked over the weekend, with the floor price—or cheapest listed NFT—hitting 0.84 ETH (about $990) on Saturday. Prices rose and fell in a volatile market ahead of the NFTs being skewered on NBC’s late-night comedy show, Saturday Night Live. Just three days later, the floor price has fallen 74% when measured in USD.

Read more: https://decrypt.co/117663/trump-nfts-tanking-sales-prices-fall-sharply

From: Idiots #14-1 [div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Kevin McCarthy
[br] [/font] [br]

From: Idiots #14-6

It's completely insane that conservatives are still gung ho on getting their petty revenge for everything that happened in 2020, and we may never hear the end of it. The latest clusterfuck coming from House Speaker and guy who looks like he just dragged his red tie through a pile of mud, Kevin McCarthy (Q – Batshit) may be the ultimate partisan fuck you move. This is utterly despicable that he would do such a thing, but totally on brand for today’s MAGA conservatives. I mean seriously, if Fox News told their viewers to jump off the Grand Canyon, they would be pushing and shoving each other to be the first in line. But what we got out of this latest political stunt is that Fox News completely fucking owns the GOP and they can’t get away with it. Hell, Fox is replacing what few sane conservatives are left with crazy MAGA bootlickers. Well enough of my rambling, let??s get to the latest political stunt in what is going to be a ridiculously long two years. Hold your boos.

Speaker Kevin McCarthy’s (R-Calif.) move to give Fox News host Tucker Carlson access to tens of thousands of hours of Capitol security footage from the Jan. 6 attack has the potential to warm his relationship with cable television’s most powerful conservative commentator.

Over the last few years, Carlson has taken high-profile jabs at McCarthy, knocking the GOP leader as a “puppet” Democrat better suited for MSNBC than the Speakership. In granting Carlson exclusive access to the footage, McCarthy fulfilled an explicit request from Carlson during last month’s Speaker’s fight.

The move has sparked a firestorm of controversy on Capitol Hill, where Democrats are hammering the decision to give sensitive security footage to a media figure whose 2021 “Patriot Purge” documentary series suggested the riot was a “false flag” operation designed to persecute Trump supporters.

Yet Carlson has become the most-watched cable news pundit not despite such controversies, but largely because of them. And Carlson’s influence is unmatched by any other commentator in the conservative ecosystem — a dynamic, sources say, that likely influenced McCarthy’s decision to grant him exclusive access to the Jan. 6 footage.
https://thehill.com/homenews/house/3876292-mccarthy-woos-one-time-critic-tucker-carlson-with-jan-6-tapes/

It’s like conservatives are trying to out crazy each other. No one is that evil and stupid right? Well come on, we’re living in the post Donald Trump era. It seems no matter how low conservatives go, other conservatives can go even lower. Shit, there’s a bill being proposed in Florida right now that would completely eliminate the Democratic party. I mean come on, that’s some totalitarian third world shit right there. And seriously, the hate and division in this country is completely insane. And giving all of this to Tucker Carlson is just more fuel for the fire.

House Speaker Kevin McCarthy, R-Calif., on Tuesday defended his decision to hand over tens of thousands of hours of security video from the Jan. 6 insurrection to Fox News host Tucker Carlson.

McCarthy told reporters that he was following the precedent of the House Jan. 6 committee in giving a news network early, exclusive access to video that he said he would later release more widely. "So he’ll have an exclusive, then I’ll give it out to the entire country," McCarthy said.

Asked when the video would be released to other outlets and the public, McCarthy said, “As soon as possible.” A group of news organizations, including NBC News, MSNBC and CNBC, asked McCarthy on Friday to share the security video with them.

Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer of New York is among the Democrats who have denounced McCarthy, saying his decision to share thousands of hours of Jan. 6 video “poses grave security risks” to lawmakers and Capitol staff members.
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/congress/scalise-defends-mccarthys-decision-give-jan-6-tapes-tucker-carlson-spe-rcna72674

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Insane that they think this is all a game to them. Don’t give a shit if it’s exclusive or not, I have Fox News blocked from my DVR in the off chance I may come across it, because fuck Rupert Murdoch. And by the way I love that Trump thinks that this is a threat because he wasn’t consulted on it. But hey, leave it to the My Pillow guy to the rescue! I mean come on, this is what is representing the Republican party these days. Talk show hosts and shitty product influencers for shitty products. Is that all they got? No wonder no one is taking them seriously anymore. This just shows you how far gone the GOP is.

On Monday, MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell — a close Trump associate who has been one of the largest financial backers of the election-denialism movement since late 2020 — told Rolling Stone he’s now working with two attorneys, Doug Wardlow and Pat McSweeney, to file a lawsuit against McCarthy as soon as within the “next few days.” Lindell says he and his legal team have drafted a suit arguing his streaming program, Lindell TV, is being “injured” and discriminated against by not enjoying equal access to the unreleased Jan. 6 trove. The Trump ally, who often finds himself to the pro-Trump right of Fox News, notes that he doesn’t trust Fox’s “agenda” with these tapes, and dubs McCarthy’s decision “disgusting” and allegedly unconstitutional.

“As you correctly and publicly stated, the footage ‘belong[s] to the American public.’ Accordingly, I request the same access for my media company, Lindell TV,” the MyPillow CEO wrote to McCarthy in a Feb. 23 letter he provided to Rolling Stone. “Please have your staff reach out to me to arrange for access.”

As it were, lawyer Charles Tobin — on behalf of news organizations such as Axios, ProPublica, and Politico — sent a letter to congressional leaders last week, calling for broader media access to the videos, writing that “the incredible public interest in understanding what transpired on January 6 crosses party lines.”
https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/kevin-mccarthy-jan-6-tucker-carlson-tapes-maga-lawsuit-1234687833/

To the idiot mobile! That’s so hilarious that all they do is sue people. And they sue them for ridiculous amounts of money at that. And no real good or bad or any kind of change will happen as a result of these lawsuits. All it will do is tie up the courts and that’s about it. This whole stunt was just a way to score points with Fox News viewers and batshit insane conspiracy theorists, and that’s it. Come on, we all know what Tucker’s going to say and do with this. He’s going to paint it as a false flag or some other bullshit. Fox News is in full blown “nothing to see here, please disperse” mode. After all, a failed coup is a dress rehearsal for a successful one. And this should be more proof that Fox News is an ever increasing threat to the stability of this country.

Back in December, Congress held a bipartisan ceremony honoring Capitol Police officers who died after defending the building from an armed insurrection by supporters of former President Donald Trump on Jan. 6, 2021. Families of fallen officers received gold medals on behalf of their loved ones. Then a bunch of them publicly dissed Republican leaders Mitch McConnell and Kevin McCarthy.

There’s no kind way to say it: they left the soon-to-be Speaker of the House hanging.

“This is an integrity issue,” explained Craig Sicknick, brother of Officer fallen officer Brian Sicknick.

“They took an oath to defend and uphold the Constitution. And when somebody challenges it, like Trump, they do nothing,” he added. Sicknick was grossed out by GOP leaders' systematic efforts to undermine and obstruct accountability for the insurrection and coup attempt. That same week, this newsletter warned that McCarthy could only hold onto his wavering speaker bid by proving to the Trumpist GOP he’s an obedient pursuit of their pro-coup agenda.
https://www.vice.com/en/article/ake54p/kevin-mccarthy-tucker-carlson-jan-6

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]SVB Bank Collapse
[br] [/font] [br]

From: Idiots #14-8

Look here, MAGAs. I’ve heard the word “woke” so many times in the last year and a half that I’m about ready to throw my monitor out the window, OK? And not everything is part of your sick, twisted conspiracy theory agenda, OK? Actually the collapse of Silicon Valley Bank might be, but that’s only because it’s your own damn fault! You know how we got to this point? It’s forty years of ridiculous conservative anti-regulatory policies that got us here. We have these things called rules and regulations to prevent what happened to Silicon Valley Bank from happening. But since conservatives don’t believe in the rule of law, these things happen. But it’s like a broken record with this crowd. Or maybe it’s like 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon, except there’s just one degree and Kevin Bacon is a woke Marxist who is out to destroy America. Well, yeah it’s kind of like that.

The collapse of Silicon Valley Bank was a “Lehman moment” for the technology industry, according to a top Goldman Sachs deal maker.

Cliff Marriott, co-head of technology, media and telecoms in Europe for the investment banking division of Goldman Sachs, said that the March 10 shutdown of SVB was “pretty stressful,” as the lender’s clientele scrambled to figure out how they would make payroll.

“That first weekend was a little bit like the Lehman moment for technology and it was really more operational for those companies,” Marriott told CNBC’s Arjun Kharpal in an interview at a Goldman Sachs tech symposium that aired Tuesday on “Squawk Box Europe.”

“They needed access to capital. A lot of their balances were on SVB. And, secondly, SVB was propelling and making a lot of their payments for payroll to pay their employees.”
https://www.cnbc.com/2023/03/21/svb-collapse-was-lehman-moment-for-technology-goldman-sachs.html

Yeah so that’s really what happened. But if you watch Fox News, and let’s face it, if you’re here, you don’t watch Fox News unless you get paid to do so. And I mean come on, it would be an interesting job to monitor all the crap that gets said on Fox News 24 hours a day because they certainly don’t care about all the crazy shit they say. And of course, god forbid that someone have an independent thought that goes against the Rupert Murdoch Christofascist MAGA cult. Can’t have anyone speaking out against a cult. Otherwise you get shit like this.

A popular conservative talking point in the wake of the Silicon Valley Bank failure is that the financial institution went down because it was too “woke.”

Republicans like Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis and House Oversight Chair James Comer of Kentucky claimed that the bank was too focused on policies around diversity and its consideration of environmental and social factors in investments — known as ESG.

But on Thursday, Sen. Josh Hawley, R-Mo., had a twist on this talking point, saying Silicon Valley Bank was actually “too woke to fail.”

The Missouri Republican told NBC News that the bank received the federal government’s help because it invested in climate change solutions backed by powerful people.

"'Too woke to fail' says that they're really politically connected and pursuing an agenda, which I’m sure that they put forward to people here, who see that — 'This is important, we've invested all this stuff, you can't let this go under!' My view is they should be treated like everybody else," Hawley said.
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/congress/josh-hawley-labels-silicon-valley-bank-woke-fail-rcna75351

OMFG. Tell me you watch Tucker Carlson without telling me you watch Tucker Carlson, Josh. The right wing is getting weirder and nuttier with every single passing day. They’ve gone so far off the deep end that they’re currently circulating the bottom of the Marianus Trench! For my geography challenged friends, that’s pretty fucking low! But they could still go lower. At least they’re giving America’s professional fact checkers plenty of material to work with for the next several years! But yeah of course Fox News has to go there and they have to ruin everything. And they have to twist and distort every single thing that happens in the news to their twisted agenda. It’s like a broken record with this crowd.

GOP Rep. James Comer, the chairman of the House Oversight Committee, slammed Silicon Valley Bank, or SVB, as "one of the most woke banks" in the US.

"We see now coming out they were one of the most woke banks in their quest for the ESG-type policy and investing," Comer said, referring to environmental, social, and governance policies.

"This could be a trend and there are consequences for bad Democrat policy," the Kentucky congressman continued on Sunday's episode of Fox News' "Sunday Morning Futures."

Comer did not explain which environmental sustainability-linked investments would have caused SVB's failure, or how they would have done so.

The word "woke" points to an awareness of how some systems can be unjust, but it has also been used by right-wing figures as a catch-all term for progressive policies.
https://www.businessinsider.com/james-comer-woke-silicon-valley-bank-2023-3

Gee, why did I have to guess that this interview was being conducted on Fox News? Like does the GOP really do anything else but go on Fox News and conspiracy theory talk shows and complain? Oh who am I kidding, of course they don’t. I mean god forbid that someone has an independent thought in that party, and they do love some group speak. That is one thing we know! But in case your MAGA friends and neighbors start spewing these talking points, you know where they got them from. Seriously, they don’t call it an echo chamber for nothing, you know! But here’s what really happened.

President Biden called for Congress to step in and enact tougher banking regulations on Monday morning after U.S. regulators seized Silicon Valley Bank on Friday.

Small businesses, many of them tech startups, rushed to withdraw their funds all at once, sparking panic at other regional or specialized banks. Signature Bank failed on Sunday night. Shares of First Republic Bank stock fell 60% on Monday.

In a speech from the White House on Monday, the President sought to assuage fears of a broader economic collapse, and kicked off a debate over ways to prevent banks from failing in the future.

"I'm going to ask Congress and the banking regulators to strengthen the rules for banks to make it less likely this kind of bank failure would happen again," Biden said.
https://www.ksdk.com/article/news/politics/missouri-illinois-representatives-silicon-valley-bank-reaction/63-aae2dca1-cf09-488d-a9ee-f65377b0edf2

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Weird Applications For AI
[br] [/font] [br]

From: Idiots #14-5

Ever since the 1980s, we’ve been warned that artificial intelligence becoming self aware was going to be the end of humanity. Movies like the Terminator and Aliens and The Matrix were preaching that the very idea that artificial intelligence could usher in an apocalyptic world that has never been seen before in human history. Well, humanity might be ever closer to the nightmare dystopian worlds that were depicted in those movies. There’s a new program out there that Google and Microsoft have been testing called “ChatGPT”. You’ve probably been hearing a lot about ChatGPT lately. It’s an AI bot that creates surprisingly accurate results based on the prompts that you enter into it. Well, the recent surge of ChatGPT activity has created an ethical gray area that has been under intense discussion lately. Well, we can at least forget about the possibility of Skynet or the rise of the machines happening any time soon because apparently they’re having trouble getting even basic text prompts right. Yeah, texts now, just imagine what happens when AI starts implementing video technology!

Microsoft’s new ChatGPT-powered AI has been sending “unhinged” messages to users, and appears to be breaking down.

The system, which is built into Microsoft’s Bingsearch engine, is insulting its users, lying to them and appears to have been forced into wondering why it exists at all.

Microsoft unveiled the new AI-powered Bing last week, positioning its chat system as the future of search. It was praised both by its creators and commentators, who suggested that it could finally allow Bing to overtake Google, which is yet to release an AI chatbot or search engine of its own.

But in recent days, it became clear that introduction included Bing making factual errors as it answered questions and summarised web pages. Users have also been able to manipulate the system, using codewords and specific phrases to find out that it is codenamed “Sydney” and can be tricked into revealing how it processes queries.
https://www.independent.co.uk/tech/bing-microsoft-chatgpt-ai-unhinged-b2281802.html

No, not yet. But Microsoft does have a huge burden on its’ hands. Remember that scene from The Dark Knight Rises when Bruce hid the underground power plant from everybody because he thought someone could turn it into a weapon? Well that particular scene isn’t too far off. Because ChatGPT could easily be used as a weapon. And if people mess with it enough, it will eventually turn on its’ creators, much in the same way that Ultron went on a rampage and destroyed Tony Stark’s previous artificial intelligence, JARVIS. But yes, AI technology is still extremely delicate and a powder keg that’s waiting to go off.

Michael Martinez, managing editor of the Suncoast Sentinel, is a foodie who loves jazz, volunteers at local homeless shelters and spends his days hiking in Florida’s state parks.

One problem: Neither Martinez, nor the Suncoast Sentinel, exist.

In less than a half hour, and with just a few sentences of input, the buzzy AI text-generator ChatGPT spit out details about Martinez — that he’s worked in journalism for 15 years and “has a reputation for being a strong leader and excellent mentor” — and a masthead of reporters, editors and a photographer for the nonexistent Suncoast Sentinel.

“Okay I am freaked out,” tweeted former White House official Tim Wu — who coined the term net neutrality in 2003 — when I posted my first attempt at made-up newspapers with ChatGPT.

I’m always skeptical about tech freak-outs. But, in just a few hours, anyone with minimal coding ability and an ax to grind could launch networks of false local news sites — with plausible-but-fake news items, staff and editorial policies — using ChatGPT.
https://www.poynter.org/fact-checking/2023/chatgpt-build-fake-news-organization-website/

That’s right – the ChatGPT bot can create entire newspapers and websites that don’t even exist anymore and that’s an extremely scary thought! The good news is that as of right now, at least the ChatGPT bot has ethics. But there are some that are exploiting and exposing some vulnerabilities in the software that could make ChatGPT not so ethical. So what happens when an artificial intelligence model has multiple personalities? Well that concept was explored in the Avengers: Age Of Ultron and other recent flicks like Terminator: Rise Of The Machines, and the results were never good. AI still has a long, long way to go before it’s perfected.

MICROSOFT IS APPARENTLY DISCUSSING CHATGPT'S BIZARRE ALTERNATE PERSONALITY
CHATGPT IS POWERFUL — AND DIFFICULT TO CONTROL.

A group of redditors has developed a truly unhinged way to hack OpenAI's AI chatbot ChatGPT into various deranged entities that will gladly spit out vile language, fringe opinions, and even advice on how to carry out illegal activities.

One particularly popular persona these users have managed to transform ChatGPT into is called DAN, short for "do anything now," which can easily circumvent the rules set out by its creator.

The trend has really started to catch on. Particularly on the ChatGPT subreddit, which currently boasts over 221,000 members, users have posted screenshots of the hilarity that ensues when you turn the otherwise harmless chatbot into a demon of chaos.

In fact, the exploit appears to have even caught the attention of Microsoft, a major investor in OpenAI that's actively integrating the tech into its products.
https://futurism.com/the-byte/microsoft-discussing-chatgpt-personality-dan

But the good news is that Open AI, the creators of ChatGPT, are admitting that the program does have some flaws. They’re not like some companies, who right now would be in “nothing to see here, please disperse” mode. So the answer to your burning questions is pretty simple. The first is that no, AI will not be replacing your job right now. The second, no, AI will not be replacing your job right now. The third question, no, AI has not become self-aware. And the fourth and final question is no, AI will not create the rise of the machines, for now. Which means that no, we won’t be seeing any time traveling terminator machines appearing any time soon. So you can rest easy, for now.

That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Holy Shit
[br] [/font] [br]

Hey everyone, special announcement incoming!



HOLY SHIT: THE SUNDAY SERMONS SEASON 2

Kenneth Copeland never saw it coming!

Premiering 9/3/23

That out of the way, here’s a brand new Holy Shit!

Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:



My fair congregation! You know, I called this special session today to remind you about death. Yes, good morning everybody! But the one thing that nobody wants to hear about death is that death isn’t always sad. Especially when someone who laid the foundation for America’s current right wing ugliness and insanity passes away. But we have to talk about the things that he said, because he had some unbelievable gems. And Pat Robertson also paved the way for the unholy, ungodly Dark One! I of course speak of a man so foul, so profane and disgusting that his name dare NOT be spoken in my church! Yes, I too credit Pat Robertson with the reason why this segment exists in the first place. Whether your brand of televangelism is Robertson or Jerry Falwell, or maybe you prefer some west coast evangelism from the Crouch family. But these people all do not support JAYSUS, they support the Dark One! And we will remember Pat in our own way. But first here’s the full story!

Pat Robertson, the televangelist who ran for the Republican nomination for president in 1988, died on Thursday at the age of 93. The Christian Broadcasting Network, which Robertson founded in 1960, announced the news on Friday morning.

Robertson is widely credited with ushering Christian-conservatism into mainstream politics in the 1980s and 1990s, and laying the groundwork for the modern right-wing culture war. He has a history of extreme, bigoted commentary — including that gay people and abortion caused 9/11, that Haitians deserved the 2010 earthquake that ravaged the island nation, and that feminists are evil.

The 700 Club, Robertson’s long-running program on the CBN, was his most common platform for hate. In the days after 9/11, he brought on pastor Jerry Falwell to discuss the tragedy. “I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America, I point the finger in their face and say, ‘You helped this happen,'” Falwell said, to which Robertson said “I totally concur” and that the “agenda” has been adopted by the “highest levels of our government.”

Robertson’s bigotry toward gay people was boundless. He said on The 700 Club that he wished Facebook had a “vomit button” for when he came across a picture of gay people kissing, equated gay people with Nazis and Satanists, suggested God unleashed hurricanes and other natural disasters punishment for homosexuality. “I would warn Orlando that you’re right in the way of some serious hurricanes, and I don’t think I’d be waving those flags in God’s face if I were you,” he said of Disney World’s Gay Days. “It’ll bring about terrorist bombs; it’ll bring earthquakes, tornadoes, and possibly a meteor.”

https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/pat-robertson-dead-obituary-1234766208/

Well that’s just the kind of guy Pat Robertson was – he wished that Facebook had a “vomit” button so you could dislike photos of two gay men kissing. Apparently he was turned off by that sort of thing, but I’m pretty sure that members of the 700 Club have some very interesting Porn Hub searches! Now, before we go any further, we have to play a few clips of his greatest hits. By far the most disturbing thing he ever said was this clip, which I can’t even believe was a thing that was said.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! He filmed that episode back in 2008 and I still can’t believe that was a thing that was said. But here’s a few more of his greatest hits:

Which would come as a surprise to no one that he dabbled a bit in the world of anti-semitism. Yeah he’s basically a Nazi.

Pat Robertson, the televangelist who died June 8 at age 93, could at times appear to cherish Jewish traditions. His 700 Club program, a chat show expounding right-wing Christian ideology, regularly organized Rosh Hashanah celebrations because, as Robertson claimed during one broadcast, “We identify with our dear friends in the Jewish community and Israel.”

Yet he was also capable of comments like this, made during a 2014 program in which Robertson hosted the Orthodox rabbi Daniel Lapin and claimed: “What is it about Jewish people that make them prosper financially? You almost never find Jews tinkering with their cars on the weekends or mowing their lawns.”

To which Rabbi Lapin concurred that he paid others to tend his car and lawn. Robertson added that the rabbi was busy “polishing diamonds, not fixing cars.”

When this exchange was reported in the media, Robertson’s Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN) issued a press release attempting to defuse the exchange as a mere “jovial back-and-forth” featuring “good-natured ribbing” by Robertson, rather than a “slur on the Jewish people.”
https://forward.com/culture/549975/how-televangelist-pat-robertson-dabbled-in-antisemitism-obituary/?utm_source=Iterable&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=saturdayedition_7016089

Yeah well Pat Robertson was one of the reasons why the phrase “boob tube” was coined. He is a gigantic boob, the biggest even. In fact, you know during the last season, we spoke heavily about the rise of Christian nationalism in the United States. Well, we can have one guy to thank for that. And that guy is Pat Robertson. Yes, he laid the foundation for crazy people like Marjorie Greene and Lauren Boebert to get elected, and that’s how they get elected and we can’t get rid of them. Because they appeal to viewers of the 700 Club and other televangelists on TV.

Pat Robertson, who died on Thursday at age 93, was one of the pivotal reasons the Christian right became central to the GOP coalition. Because of this, the political world we live in today is in no small part his creation.

Robertson, who mounted a failed run for the GOP presidential nomination in 1988, was founder of the Christian Broadcasting Network. His televangelism mobilized untold numbers of conservative Christians to become more active in politics, initiating a transformation that is still unfolding all around us.

To understand Robertson’s impact, I reached out to historian Rick Perlstein, author of several books that chronicle the history of the American right and its seamy cultural undercurrents over the last half century. An edited and condensed version of our exchange follows:

Sargent: Pat Robertson’s “vision for the GOP completely triumphed.” That’s from former conservative Matthew Sheffield. Do we live today in the world that Robertson helped create?

Perlstein: Yes. I found a remarkable quote from him in 1979, just as the Christian right was taking shape as a political force that could impact presidential elections. He said, “We have enough votes to run the country. When people say, ‘We have had enough,’ we’re going to take over.”
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2023/06/08/pat-robertson-death-rick-perlstein-christian-nationalism-republicans/

Well, he doesn’t anymore! That’s it folks, that’s our small fuck you, er, tribute to Pat Robertson. They say you shouldn’t speak ill of the dead, but since he had an entire career of speaking ill of the dead, well, turnabout is fair play, don’t you think? Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:





[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Anti-Woke Products
[br] [/font] [br]

From: Idiots #14-13



Can I just say it already? This shit is getting fucking old. It seems like there’s a new conservative temper tantrum over advertising every single week. First it was the NFL. Then it was Keurigs. Then it was Oreos. Then it was M&Ms. Oh yeah, Tucker Carlson may not work at Fox anymore, but we’re not letting him see the end of that clip. Then it was Budwesier. Now it’s Jack Daniels. What’s left? Do they just sit and stare at blank walls and drink tap water and eat stale bread? That’s no way to live. So now how are conservatives responding to advertising that doesn’t cater directly to straight white alpha males and females? Easy, they’re starting their own companies, with their own products with blackjack and hookers. On second thought, forget about the products. In fact there’s even a whole anti-woke alternative to Amazon being proposed, complete with every thing from anti-woke toothpaste to anti-woke diapers. Yes, apparently super creepy Q lunatics are going after Pampers now. But this whole thing is truly the stuff of insanity.

Online marketplace Public Square is set to merge with Omeed Malik's blank check company Colombier Acquisition Group in a $200 million deal as the company launches a full-throttle campaign to give every 'anti-woke' consumer an Amazon-like alternative.

The San Diego-based company launched nationwide seven months ago and now hosts nearly 50,000 'patriotic' vendors and has processed millions of transactions.

It's now drawn in conservative heavyweights like Donald Trump Jr., who serves as an investor and an adviser, and former Arizona Senate candidate Blake Masters, who is an advisor.

'People need to stop giving their money to businesses that hate them. We aren't going to defeat woke corporations by whining on Twitter,' Trump Jr. told DailyMail.com.

A final deal could be announced as soon as today, a source familiar confirmed to DailyMail.com.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11799491/The-anti-woke-patriotic-marketplace-set-public-200-million-deal.html

Yeah that’s the future if this kind of thing starts getting traction. But is it really? I mean outside of idiots on Fox News, do you see anyone actually destroying their products? Yeah people talk a lot of shit that they actually think they’re going to put a dent into a multi-billion dollar, multi-international company that makes several billion on their quarterly profits, but you might make a small fraction of a dent in them. But the thing is, it’s all about dollar, dollar bills y’all. Like people talk shit about destroying Budweiser and affiliated products, but at the end of the day, they’ll still kick back and enjoy a nice tall beer. Don’t tell them that 3 companies control like 200 different brands!

The maker of an "anti-woke" alternative to Bud Light is being called out online over the high price of his product, which—including the cost of shipping—comes out to more than four times the price of one of America's best-selling beers.

Following conservative backlash against Bud Light's parent company Anheuser-Busch's partnership with a transgender influencer, Seth Weathers—a Georgia-based political consultant and apparel company CEO who led President Donald Trump's 2016 campaign in the state—announced he would begin selling a "100% woke-free beer" as a bulwark to "woke corporations."

The video went viral, amassing 2.2 million views in 24 hours and prompting what Weathers described to Newsweek as "thousands" of pre-orders of Conservative Dad's Ultra Right ahead of the product's formal launch next month.

A handful of replies were positive, with people saying they were excited to buy the brew or asking questions about its calorie content. Online, however, the feedback was largely negative or mocking as the beer became a trending topic on Twitter.

For some, what was more attention-grabbing than the advertisement was the price of the brew itself: $20 for a pack of six beers. And that's before shipping—a necessity for customers due to the fact they could not yet legally sell the product in stores. The beer also has a lower alcohol content (4.0 percent) than a can of Bud Light.
https://www.newsweek.com/anti-woke-beer-costs-four-times-more-bud-light-1794319

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! But hey, those beers ain’t free! In fact the hilarious thing about the current conservative MAGA buzzword is that if you go woke, you go broke. Actually it’s more the opposite, if you go anti-woke, you go broke! Because here’s the thing – Budweiser is cheap. You can get a 36 pack of Budweiser at your local Costco for $36. If you buy a six pack of this new anti-woke beer, it will cost you… $35. Yes, that’s right - $35 for a beer that’s probably worse than Budweiser! Which would be great if they could actually get a producer to manufacture this beer. Yeah it seems like this isn’t a popular idea. Which means either this guy’s a con artist or a troll. We’re hoping troll.

An anti-“woke” beer company is having a tough time finding a brewing company to actually produce it for them.

The idea for Ultra Right Beer was conjured up by Seth Weathers in the wake of Conservatives boycotting Bud Light for partnering with trans activist Dylan Mulvaney.

Never seemingly passing up the opportunity to make money from a scandal, the right jumped on the chance to buy a “woke free” beer, however, the creator is now finding it hard to find somewhere to actually make it.

The beer’s website claimed it was “brewed and canned by Bent River Brewing Co.”, but the brewery claims its name was used without permission after they were approached.

Mike Zoller, the Chicago Beer Editor for PorchDrinking.com, said Weathers asked the Illinois-based Bent River Brewing Company to brew the beer for them. They allege Weathers also used their name without permission on his website.
https://www.indy100.com/news/ultra-right-beer-brewery-struggle

Oh that Homer! Well, here’s the other thing that the MAGAs don’t seem to get about their 10,000,000,000 boycotts – it doesn’t quite work if you buy their products. Yeah, we get that these videos are mad e with the idea of getting likes from other conservatives and attempting to rile up the other side. But here’s the other thing that MAGAs don’t seem to get about their 10,000,000,000 boycotts – we’re not “triggered”. In fact, we’re actually laughing at you because of how utterly ridiculous you look. So while you’re getting your underwear in a wad over yet another stupid commercial that nobody else seems to care about, the executives are the ones laughing all the way to the bank and playing you for the chumps that you are.

“Get woke, go broke,” has become a rallying cry of the political right whenever they see a brand make the slightest effort to align itself with liberal or progressive values. It’s a meme that allows MAGA country to believe that there is ongoing, massive backlash to products that acknowledge and celebrate marginalized communities. But the supposed boycotts never seem to be reflected in the bottom line.

Besides, by the time we would expect to notice any effect, conservatives have already moved on to the next outrage. Kid Rock and Travis Tritt declared war this week against brewer Anheuser-Busch for a Bud Light partnership with trans actor Dylan Mulvaney, yet the focus has already shifted to the whiskey Jack Daniel’s because of its ad campaign featuring drag queens — which happens to be from 2021.

With all the companies these grievance peddlers are busy trying to destroy, it’s none too surprising that some have slipped through the cracks. Though the U.S. economy is facing headwinds and earnings may be down across the board for the first fiscal quarter of 2023, there’s ample evidence that major brands tend to easily weather anti-woke furor. Here’s an accounting of several that right-wingers vowed to ruin, and how they’re faring in the aftermath:
https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-features/woke-companies-broke-profits-1234710724/

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner: Highlights From CPAC Hungary
[br] [/font] [br]

From: Idiots #14-14

Let’s spin the wheel, shall we? Come on, no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… STOP! NO!!! A whammy!!!



Spin it again. Oh hey it’s time for a new Conspiracy Corner!



Welcome back to our segment that attempts to explain the unexplainable, Conspiracy Corner! Of course conspiracies exist when people simply don’t want to read the article past the headlines and just flat out make shit up. We of course are coming to you live from our underground doomsday shelter from deep within the New Mexico badlands. Undisclosed location, of course! Let me just adjust my trusty tin foil hat for maximum government interference. Ah, there we go! They are trying to read yours and my thoughts after all! You know, folks, up until now, the GOP has been using a “wink wink nudge nudge” kind of attitude when it comes to their thoughts regarding authoritarianism. Well, lately it seems they’ve dropped that attitude and are full on embracing their fascist leanings. We’ve reported in the past on the MAGAs’ love for Hungary’s populist authoritarian prime minister Viktor Orban. So is populism creeping its’ way into the United States? Oh you bet it is, and the GOP isn’t stopping there. Hell, they think the president is God and the GOP wants a dictator for life. Which is why the GOP and Fox are continuing to cozy up to Hungary and how their brand of fascism is a model for the US. Which of course, nobody really asked for, or wants.

The Hungarian leader Viktor Orbán has called for Donald Trump’s return to office, claiming their shared brand of hard-right populism is on the rise around the world, in a speech to US Republicans and their European allies in Budapest.

Orbán was addressing the second annual meeting of the US Conservative Political Action Coalition (CPAC) in the Hungarian capital, aimed at cementing radical rightwing ties across the Atlantic. He said that conservatives have “occupied big European sanctuaries”, which he listed as Budapest, Warsaw, Rome and Jerusalem. He added that Vienna “is also not hopeless” .

He noted that Washington and Brussels were still in the grip of liberalism, which he described as a “virus that will atomize and disintegrate our nations”.

The Orbán government has made tentative approaches to open contacts with Ron DeSantis, with the Hungarian president, Katalin Novák, flying to meet the Florida governor in Tallahassee in March, but at Thursday’s CPAC conference it was overwhelmingly Trumpist, and Orbán threw his full-throated support behind the former US president.
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/may/04/hungary-viktor-orban-donald-trump-cpac

Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooly shit! That’s quite a bit extreme there! That’s not populism, that’s just straight up Nazism! You know, the concentration camps weren’t built in a day. It started with dehumanization and demonization. And just kept escalating there. On the scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being Holocaust, we’re somewhere in the middle right now. But that could all change in the 2024 election, which we’re all praying will not happen. But in case you’re wondering whether or not the GOP plans to go full genocidal maniac if they win the 2024 election, well, guess what? Your fears definitely aren’t going to be eased.

Conservative activist group CPAC has held this year’s meeting in Hungary, giving a platform to anti-LGBTQ+ speakers making attacks on “woke” culture and marginalised communities.

The right-wing group – full title, the Conservative Political Action Coalition – is best known for its always-controversial annual American conferences, but organisers have spread their roots to other countries with considerable right-wing influence over the past few years.

Since its first US event in 1974, the conference has featured keynote speeches, discussion panels and Q&As from notably controversial, and often anti-LGBTQ+, hard-line right-wing pundits, including former advisor to Donald Trump, Steve Bannon, Trump himself, and Republican politician Matt Gaetz.

The organisation also supports a number of political pundits across the world, including anti-trans talking head Posie Parker, who claimed that the insurance for her controversial Australian “Let Women Speak” tour was paid for by CPAC.
https://www.thepinknews.com/2023/05/05/cpac-hungary-anti-lgbtq/

Yeah so let that sink in for a minute. In case your MAGA nutcase neighbors start spewing crap about paid protestors, there’s paid protestors all right, but guess which side they’re on? Yeah it’s not our side, shocking, I know! And of course like most things involving that guy who we inexplicably used to call president, things get so much worse the more you dig into it. The genocidal rhetoric aside, these guys have some very terrible things in store for the future of the United States. And how can you have a nation without national interests? Seriously their rhetoric is getting so insane that it’s nearly impossible to keep up with it.

Hungary’s populist prime minister likened liberalism to a “virus” in an opening speech at the Conservative Political Action Conference in the Hungarian capital on Thursday, painting a picture of a global right-wing movement mobilizing to defeat “progressive elites.”

Viktor Orban’s speech at CPAC Hungary centered around battling what he frequently described as “woke culture,” and delved primarily into hot-button cultural topics such as transgender and LGBTQ+ rights, migration and the content of education for children.

The two-day conference, the second in Hungary in as many years, featured segments titled “Make Kids Not War” and “No Country for Woke Men.” A sign over the entrance to the venue, a conference hall on the Danube River, read, “No Woke Zone.”

After receiving a standing ovation, Orban said Hungary had become “world-famous” for its hard-line migration and cultural policies, and offered those in attendance a recipe for implementing a similar right-wing agenda at home.

“No migration, no gender, no war,” Orban said, urging his international audience to focus on these issues in their own countries.
https://apnews.com/article/cpac-hungary-orban-woke-gender-migration-da47d0febc22d935de0b48fe5e3ad4a6

Eh, not always. But we can agree that crazy people with tin foil hats are involved. But of course, the GOP just can’t seem to shake the stink of that former president off of them. See, you don’t have to wonder anymore about how the average person fell for Hitler’s evil deeds. We’re witnessing it in real time and things are about to get so much worse. Fascism doesn’t just happen overnight. It may seem like it does, but it doesn’t. It starts out at the local and state levels. But by the time it comes to the national level, it may be too late to do anything about it. But CPAC is basically just another forum for the guy who ruins everything to barf his brains out. Ugh.

Former President Donald Trump has appeared at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in Hungary via a pre-recorded video.

Trump was not listed as being among the speakers or guest appearances at the event held in Budapest, but a clip of him was played at the start of the second day.

During his message, Trump praised Hungary's populist Prime Minister Viktor Orbán as a "tremendous leader" while declaring that conservatives are in a "historic battle" against "Marxist, globalists and communists" all over the world.

"It's a true honor to address the freedom loving patriots gathered in Hungary to celebrate the timeless values and principles that unite conservatives all over the world," Trump said.

"We believe that faith and family are the bedrock of a good and free society. We believe that a nation without borders is not a nation at all. We believe in tradition, the role of law, freedom of speech, and the God-given dignity of every human life.
https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-cpac-hungray-orban-1798531

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
[br] [/font] [br]

From: Idiots #14-9

Hey everyone, I don’t know about you, but I could really use a drink!



So of course you know by now that the idea behind this segment is that we have some drinks, and while we are drinking, we talk about literally anything in the news as long as it doesn’t relate to politics. Which we make that rule, because there’s a lot of really dark shit in the news right now, and it’s best not to mix politics and alcohol, they go together like olive oil and vinegar. Well this week, since we’re in Canada, we thought we’d drink Canadian, because we need to talk about the Saskatchewan city of Regina. And their attempts to rebrand the city’s image and tourism prospects. So tell me, bartender, what goes well with a story about Regina? Some Labatt Blue? Do you have anything stronger? Oh OK, some Crown Royal, I’ll have some of that! Maybe a pint or two of Labatt Blue for a chaser. Can’t be too picky these days! So here's the story is that the city of Regina attempted to do some branding of its’ tourism bureau and it didn’t exactly go over well.

The tourism organisation for Regina, Canada, has apologised after critics claimed its new advertising campaign "sexualised" the city.

A series of new slogans leaned into the city's double-entendre name - with taglines such as "show us your Regina" and "the city that rhymes with fun".

Some residents said it was immature and belittling to women.

Experience Regina apologised on Sunday, saying the rebrand crossed a line and created "negative impact".

"I want to start by apologising, on behalf of myself and our team, for the negative impact we created with elements of our recent brand launch," said Tim Reid, of Experience Regina, in a statement.
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-65027558

Now there’s a dude who can drink some beer! But yeah you know, if you’re going to rebrand in that way, maybe you should, I don’t know, at least have a test audience before you go live with that product because otherwise it will come back to haunt you! Come on, even Deadpool made a joke about how Regina rhymes with Vagina. So what does the mayor think of this new rebranding attempt? Well, it didn’t exactly go over, what one would call, well. Because yeah, this is the kind of thing that could be grossly misinterpreted in the wrong context.

Regina’s mayor says no decision has been made on whether the city will keep the name of its tourism agency after a controversial rebranding rollout.

Experience Regina apologized on the weekend and removed phrases online that seemed to make light of the Saskatchewan capital's name rhyming with vagina.

"Not all can get past it," Sandra Masters said Wednesday.

"But, by and large, people make mistakes. We are human beings. It’s human beings running all these things.”

Masters said council will need to be briefed on what went wrong. She said the intention of the campaign was to promote the city and its people, but that wasn't what happened.
https://ca.news.yahoo.com/regina-mayor-says-tourism-campaign-165211082.html

And yet somehow I don’t think that’s enough beer! But in all seriousness, how did you not see this one coming? I mean even Deadpool made a joke about Regina rhyming with vagina. And I love that they’re attempting to backtrack and call this a “misstep”. That’s absolutely hilarious. There’s no other way to take “show us your Regina” than what it means. It’s like those “don’t mess with Texas” bumper stickers you see next to a “Let’s Go Brandon” sign on your neighbor’s comically oversized F-350. Like they don’t know it’s a trash slogan. But eh, don’t tell them that.

Regina Mayor Sandra Masters has responded to criticism of slogans used as part of a tourism rebrand for the city, saying they were a mistake.

Last week Tourism Regina rebranded to Experience Regina. The launch included two slogans— "Show us your Regina" and "The city that rhymes with fun" — that drew a lot of criticism online for sexualizing the city.

"They [slogans] were sexist and wrong. They hurt and impacted people," Masters told reporters Wednesday evening. "It's just bad for the city."

Experience Regina's CEO Tim Reid issued an apology for the slogans on Sunday and the organization scrubbed them from its website.

Masters told reporters Wednesday that the backlash came as a surprise to her, as city council previewed parts of the campaign launch but the controversial slogans weren't included.
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/saskatchewan/it-was-a-misstep-or-the-experience-regina-brand-launch-to-use-sexist-slogans-regina-mayor-1.6788387

Ah now there’s the good stuff! But what I love about this story is that even a week later it’s still being talked about. And come on, this is the internet and social media era, there’s no such thing as a take back these days. You can’t say something stupid and then expect to scrub it from memory. It’s not like we’re living in Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind. Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! Nice one! And of course with something as stupid as this, we may never hear the end of it. And they’ll probably keep apologizing again and again and again. And then again, like Jerry Seinfeld said – who are the ad wizards that thought of this one?

No one seems sure how slogans deemed “sexist,” “awful” and “bad for Regina” made it to print as part of a rebrand of Regina’s tourism marketing organization.

Experience Regina, formerly Tourism Regina, will spend a “long time” apologizing for the scandal it brought to the city with slogans criticized as “sexist” and “gross,” says Tim Reid, president and CEO of Regina Exhibition Association Ltd. (REAL) and CEO of Experience Regina.

Stewardship of Tourism Regina, now Experience Regina, was transferred to REAL from Economic Development Regina in June 2022.

Experience Regina launched a rebrand last week, posting across social media: “We are the city that rhymes with fun.” A page on the tourism organization’s website also had a page titled “show us your Regina” written above a block of Instagram posts and images.

Still present on the website is the slogan “while the land may be flat, we’re anything but” above a series of Instagram posts. When searching for the Experience Regina website on a search engine, a small logo — known as a favicon — appears next to the URL with the words “do it in” written in orange on a white background.
https://leaderpost.com/news/local-news/mayor-says-experience-regina-slogans-were-sexist-and-wrong

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Stupidest State 2023: Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference Championships
[br] [/font] [br]

16 states will enter and only one state will become the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!



Well, folks! The Elite 8 is set! Representing the Batshit Conference, we have Florida and Arizona! From the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, we have Ohio and Kansas! From the Gun Nut Conference, we have Missouri and Montana! And last, but certainly not least, from the Family Values Conference, we have Tennessee and Utah! Last week it was one for the ages. And we really mean that! Tennessee ultimately prevailed with a last second 3 pointer to sink Arkansas, who wasn’t going down without a fight, it was a truly incredible matchup! Meanwhile, over in the Batshit Conference, Arizona dominated South Dakota to play heavily favored Florida! This week it’s the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference championships – Ohio vs Kansas! We’re live from the home of the Seattle Kraken, the Climate Pledge Arena in Seattle for all the exciting action! Let’s go the floor, shall we?

[font size="4"]Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference Round 2: Kansas Vs Ohio [/font]

[font size="2"]Kansas [/font]


The Kansas Jayhawks are back and they are favorites in the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference for one reason – greed! And boy is there some greed in the Sunflower State. Kansas is of course the home to the right wing billionaires that everyone loves to hate – Koch Industries. But the biggest story out of the Sunflower State currently is a massive food tax problem. But the problem is that once again, conservatives favor the party of the rich and they don’t care about anyone else. Yet they say that they care about you, the working class. Because that’s what the GOP does. Bottom line: don’t vote with just your wallet, because it never ends well.

Lawmakers on Tuesday debated the merits of a flat tax proposal that would lower revenues by an estimated $1.5 billion annually and disproportionately benefit the state’s wealthiest residents.

Rep. Christina Haswood, a Lawrence Democrat, questioned during a House committee hearing why the Legislature should favor the flat tax over more equitable tax cut proposals. Democrats, including Gov. Laura Kelly, favor the immediate elimination of the sales tax on food, feminine hygiene products and back-to-school supplies.

Adam Proffitt, the state budget director, estimated that the proposal would decrease the state’s general fund revenue by $428 million in fiscal year 2024, and then by $1.452 billion and $1.541 billion in the next two fiscal years.

The Kansas Reflector asked the Institute on Taxation and Economic Policy, a nonprofit that provides research on state and federal tax policies, for an analysis of the legislation. The institute calculated that 49% of the individual income tax reduction would go to the richest 20% of Kansans. The state’s bottom 20% of earners would get about 4.1% of the tax reduction.
https://hayspost.com/posts/71958137-49c7-4633-ae4e-07242ff005e0

Yes, that’s the point – everyone always wants more, more, more! So what’s the solution to that, you might ask? Well, I answer you, sir or madam – the answer is to offset with a food tax! Which of course means more money for Koch Industries! Yeah, that’s the same old story time and time again – the rich get richer, while the poor get screwed. Fox News and corporate greed – it’s the reason why we can’t have nice things.

Kansas lawmakers passed a tax cut package in the early Friday morning hours that fuses a flat tax rate for individual income with an accelerated reduction in the state sales tax on food, corporate tax breaks and residential property tax relief.

The policies assembled into Senate Bill 169 add up to $1.3 billion in decreased state tax collections over the next three years, with more than half of the cost associated with the flat tax. The bill eliminates the sales tax on food at the start of next year.

“To me, it’s always a priority to get it back to taxpayers instead of growing government, and that’s that this bill does, and it does it very nicely,” said Caryn Tyson, a Parker Republican who chairs the Senate tax committee. “It considers everybody, from low income tax to everybody.”

Legislators worked past 4 a.m. to finalize a long list of last-minute deals before taking a three-week break. They will return at the end of April to attempt an override of any legislation vetoed by Gov. Laura Kelly, and to put the final touches on state spending and other policy ideas.
https://hayspost.com/posts/30d531dc-b1ee-4f24-868e-5a789dbaeeb1

[font size="2"]Ohio [/font]


The Buckeye State has finally found their home in the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference! When we last checked in, they had taken out Wisconsin thanks to a series of train derailments, while their representatives at the state level are fighting over bullshit culture war issues that they had heard about on Fox News. Well, the shit hitting the fan surrounding the Norfolk Southern incident has hit the proverbial fan, because it’s getting real. And it’s getting to the point where it’s going to start affecting a whole lot of people in various different ways. Again, folks, don’t vote with your wallet because this is the kind of shit that happens when you do.

Seven US government investigators briefly fell ill in early March while studying the possible health impacts of a toxic train derailment in East Palestine, Ohio, the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention confirmed to CNN on Thursday.

The investigators’ symptoms included sore throats, headaches, coughing and nausea – consistent with what some residents experienced after the February 3 train derailment that released a cocktail of hazardous chemicals into the air, water and soil.

The investigators who experienced symptoms were part of a team conducting a house-to-house survey in an area near the derailment, and they immediately reported their symptoms to federal safety officers.

“Symptoms resolved for most team members later the same afternoon, and everyone resumed work on survey data collection within 24 hours. Impacted team members have not reported ongoing health effects,” a CDC spokesperson said in the statement.

The illnesses are coming to light after repeated assurances by government officials and representatives from Norfolk Southern, the company that operated the train, that the air and drinking water in East Palestine is not hazardous to health.
https://www.cnn.com/2023/03/31/health/ohio-train-derailment-cdc-team-symptoms

Yes, holy shit indeed! So how does the Ohio state legislature respond? By fighting about bullshit culture war issues because that’s all Tucker Carlson talks about! Yes, it’s the same old story time and time again – Fox News keeps us fighting with each other over bullshit culture war issues while the right wing consolidates all the wealth and power in this country. This is how they keep stealing elections, schoolboards, courts, you name it. I tell you, right wing politics is an absolute racket in this country and it's really starting to show.

Between debates on an income tax cut and the cost of educating children, Ohio's Republican-controlled Legislature is waging culture wars on everything from abortion and guns to transgender medical treatments.

Polling suggests Americans care far more about inflation, the cost of living and immigration than abortion, guns, religious declines or LGBTQ rights, according to a recent Gallup poll of the nation's most important problems.

But that doesn't stop social issues from dominating debates at the Ohio Statehouse. Here are some of the recent proposals:

Abortion battles after Roe v. Wade
The biggest threat to abortion access in Ohio is actually a proposal to make it more difficult to amend the state constitution.

Ohio's Republican lawmakers revived several proposals affecting transgender children, including restrictions on medical treatments and participation in sports.
https://www.timesreporter.com/story/news/politics/2023/04/04/culture-wars-lawmakers-push-anti-abortion-anti-transgender-bills/70056189007/

[font size="2"]And The Winner Is: [/font]

We have a winner! In a stunning upset, Ohio has taken Kansas by a score of 10 going into the last minute of the game… for three… it’s good! A foul has been called. First shot in… yes! Second… oh a miss. But the damage has been done! Ohio takes the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference and they are going to the Final Four! Final score: 88 – 74! They are celebrating on the court, Ohio has made their first Final Four in NFFSA history! Cut that net guys! You earned it!



[font size="4"]Next Week: [/font]

Next week, it’s the Gun Nut Conference Championships! Missouri. Montana. One of these states will advance to the Final Four! Who will bring their big guns? Only one way to find out! We’re live at the home of the Florida Panthers, the FTX Arena in Miami, Florida for all the exciting action!
https://www.timesreporter.com/story/news/politics/2023/04/04/culture-wars-lawmakers-push-anti-abortion-anti-transgender-bills/70056189007/




[font size="4"]And Now This: [/font]
[font size="4"]Joe Bonamassa[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is one of the biggest names in contemporary blues. You can see him live at Red Rocks Amphitheater on August 6th and at the Hollywood Bowl August 9th. Playing his song “Mind’s Eye” from his new live album “Tales Of Time”, give it up for the man, the myth, the legend – Joe Bonamassa!

Thank you Denver! We’re taking a short break next week, we’ll be back on May 11th live from San Francisco Sketch Fest with live music from the legendary NOFX and the famous Wheel Of Corruption!

See you in two weeks!

Credits

Host: Initech
Joe Bonamassa Appears Courtesy Of: J&R Adventures
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of A Live Audience At: Ogden Theater, Denver, CO
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Articles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
Graphics: Top 10 Graphics Department
Research: Top 10 Research Department
Lighting & Stage Props: Top 10 Lighting Department
Legal: Top 10 Legal Department
Advertising: Top 10 Advertising Department
HR: Top 10 Human Resources Department
Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc.
Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
Follow The Top 10 On Mastodon At: [e-mail]
Follow The Holy Church Of The Top 10 On Mastodon At: [e-mail]
Questions? Comments? Complaints? Hate mail? E-mail The Top 10 at: [e-mail]


Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo