9 toxic phrases people use when they're trying to gaslight you - and how to respond

[FakeNoose]

CNBC link: https://www.cnbc.com/2023/07/03/harvard-psychologist-toxic-phrases-people-use-when-they-are-gaslighting-you-how-to-respond.html

By Dr. Cortney Warren, Contributor @DRCORTNEYWARREN

“Gaslighting,” or the experience of being manipulated into doubting your feelings and perceptions of reality, can happen to anyone. This behavior is often used to gain power and control in relationships. Being on the receiving end of it can be damaging to your self-esteem, and can even lead to anxiety or depression.

As a Harvard-trained psychologist who specializes in trauma and relationships, I’ve observed this firsthand. Here are nine toxic phrases people use when they’re gaslighting you — and the perfect responses to shut them down:

1. ‘You’re being crazy.’
Gaslighters will try to make you question your sanity. Making direct comments that undermine your perspective or rationality is a common tactic. How to respond:
* “Please don’t question my ability to think clearly.”
* “Even if we don’t agree, this is what the reality looks like to me.”

- more at link -

Good stuff, and useful when talking with MAGAts.

[malaise]

1. Slobby calls everyone who is investigating him delusional

or crazy. It's not just gaslighting - it's projection. He is stark raving mad.

[The Wizard]

2. Point at them

and laugh. Ridicule is a wonderful tool when dealing with liars. That and lying to them. Liars depend on others to be honest.

[FakeNoose]

4. If only the media would do that

... it would be the end of Chump.

[Joinfortmill]

3. This is good stuff for everyone. Thanks much.

[synni]

5. That article is nonsense

First, you never say "please" to an abuser. Second, the only way to deal with gaslighting is to say, "Goodbye," and mean it.

[Midnight Writer]

8. I'm with you. If someone plays that game, walk away and don't come back.

They are showing you who they are, and they will never change. Just get away from them.

[FakeNoose]

13. What if it's your own child, or another family member?

What if it's someone who is known to be volatile?

There are different ways to handling a touchy situation.

[GenThePerservering]

17. Walk away

it won't kill them. Every time they start the BS again, walk away. Or just stand there and silently look at them. It's called non-response.

[Duppers]

14. Good advice.

[Generic Brad]

16. Agreed.

There’s very little you can say to a narcissistic abuser, especially if they have some perceived power in the relationship, that they won’t turn around on you. It all looks good in an article until you have the misfortune of having a parent or boss who doesn’t play by the rules.

Anyone think these phrases would work on Trump?

[DinahMoeHum]

6. How about: "I'm just asking questions" ???

[FakeNoose]

7. My response is, "why change the subject when you haven't answered the last question yet?"

It's another form of deflection, and it's classic gaslighting.

[Silent3]

9. What do you say when the person you're talking to IS being crazy?

I suppose there are usually more diplomatic approaches than accusing someone of being crazy, even when it's true. Then again, there's simply giving up trying to deal with some people, if and when you can escape a such situation.

My big problem with this advice is that crazy people will read it and it will give them more tools in their toolkit for blocking out reality. Some of this stuff is pretty toxic all the time (like #5, "If you loved me, you’d let me do what I want." ), but sometimes a person you're talking to is overreacting, is at fault for a problem, or doesn't understand what the real problem is.

Fortunately for me the occasions I have to deal with people like that are few and far between.

[FakeNoose]

12. I hear you friend, but there aren't many crazies on DU, at least not yet

We are most of us sane, ... or we have the rap down well enough to appear that way.

[GenThePerservering]

18. I doubt it, because they won't

recognize themselves.

[niyad]

10. "fuck you"and walk away works.

[frogmarch]

11. +1000

[GenThePerservering]

19. This is the way

[calimary]

15. Number 6!

Hello, Mom.

[debm55]

22. I can say all of them about my mom. She has always and always will use them--because she's my mother

[liberalla]

20. This is useful information not just for gaslighting but for other manipulative or difficult people

[CountAllVotes]

21. K&R

Great information!

Thank you!

& recommend.