What Republicans think is happening now.

[Whovian]

Thank goodness! All our (Democrats) free stuff is now coming in! Got my stack of $100's, a $5K prepaid Visa card and a copy of the Communist Manifesto, The Quoran, Bill Ayers Biography, The secrets surrounding Benghazi and how it was really Obama that arraigned the attack and instructions on how to turn all my white neighbors gay and then force them into having abortions.

Also included in this first package of free stuff (secretly paid for by attaching the funds from middle class republican's bank accounts) was a dictionary to make sure we don't end up looking as stupid as the teabaggers when making protest signs. YAY!

[flamingdem]

1. Where's my stuff?

Plus free subscription to tier 1 cable so I can get msnbc and follow the secretly coded commands of socialists Rachel Maddwoman and Lawrence McDonnell.

[Whovian]

2. If you didn't get it today via the socialist postal system, it should be there tomorrow.

[Indpndnt]

19. I got a ranch here in Texas. They took it from a teabagger and gave it to me.

Pretty cool, I must say. [url=http://www.cosgan.de/smilie.php][img][/img][/url] As soon as I clean up the mess where their repub heads went all over the place, I'll post pics. [url=http://www.cosgan.de/smilie.php][img][/img][/url]

[yardwork]

66. That's that redistribution that we voted for in action! Way to go!

I can't wait to get my factory I ordered when I voted early. I picked it off the wishlist the Democrats gave me with my ballot. They're getting ready to take it away from the Republican who owned it and "redistribute it" to me.

[theKed]

73. Awww man

My commie registration catalogue didn't come with my absentee ballot.
All I got was a half-acre of unused land in Alabama and this coupon for a free abortion.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

77. Hope your coupon included a GENERAL anesthetic!!

It's quite a painful experience, I am told (physically).

[Heather MC]

26. I am still waiting on my AK-47 I was raised by a single mom

I have meeting schedule with a few Mexican druglords next week, really gonna need that gun

[flamingdem]

41. Holder should be able to arrange that for you

ouch just kidding!

[R. Daneel Olivaw]

76. Sorry, dude. It showed up at my house, and I signed for it.

Did you want to come over an pick up the Lenin Goatees, bale of 420, and lifetime supply of tax exempt vouchers?

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. LOL!

[vilify]

4. I got got my Obama phone in the mail as a thank you gift for voting straight D.

[yardwork]

5. Did you get your Obama phone?

Also, don't forget to teach your neighbors to sing the National Anthem in Spanish. Remember, it will be the law to sing it in Spanish by Inauguration Day. Anybody attempting to sing the National Anthem in English after that date will be jailed by Homeland Security and have all their guns confiscated.

[Jazzgirl]

34. No, no, not jailed! Executed!

[dchill]

42. No one will be jailed OR executed!!

We have internment camps (thx UN!) set up for those people.

[Volaris]

57. "it will be law to sing it in Spanish..."

Was that a part of the Sharia Constitution we voted for last Tuesday? I didn't know...but it's awesome. All hail Great Leader Obama, most Holy of Holies.

[Indpndnt]

69. You know, I saw a Xmas commercial last night.

I thought we did away with Xmas. What's the deal? I'm entitled to a Xmas-free TV experience, dammit! [url=http://www.cosgan.de/smilie.php][img][/img][/url]

[Manifestor_of_Light]

78. No, we gotta sing "Feliz Navidad" along with Jose Feliciano.

[eridani]

84. NOOOOOOOO!! Anything but that! Anything! n/t

[Manifestor_of_Light]

92. Ha Ha!!!!

[DURHAM D]

68. I wanted a Cadillac but

got a 1989 Yugo instead. It came with a note, something about socialism...

[yardwork]

70. Really? I got a new Tesla! It must be because your county is bluer than mine.

They really needed my vote.

[Jackpine Radical]

86. No, no, the National Anthem is no longer operative. It's the Internationale now.

LA INTERNACIONAL

Arriba, parias de la Tierra.
En pie, famélica legión.
Los proletarios gritan: Guerra!
Guerra hasta el fin de la opresión.

Borrad el rastro del pasado!
Arriba, esclavos, todos en pié!
el mundo va a cambiar de base,
los nada de hoy todo han de ser.

Agrupémonos todos,
en la lucha final.
El género humano
es la internacional.
(bis)

And "Free Beer for All the Workers" of course. That's the only patriotic ong permitted in English.

[rbrnmw]

6. I got mine Obamaphone today too!!!!!!!

It's real slick it's a Samsung Galaxy III Wow and the $7500 prepaid visa card will come in handy, when I'm out driving my new Jeep which was part of my freebie package. I also got a $5000 a month ebt card for food.

[babylonsister]

7. Hahaha! I'm waiting for mine... nt

[n2doc]

24. That's a Chinese-made Jeep, right?

Had my free health care today, including Shiatzu massage, choice of drugs, and porn videos (GLBT, of course).

[Fantastic Anarchist]

44. My girlfriend got her first abortion-on-demand today!

I was there, and it was a beautiful experience. We're planning on having many more!

[Kennah]

82. They told me my Jeep is en route to China

[rbrnmw]

87. Well of course it is nt

[SoCalMusicLover]

8. Phones Are Cool, But Where Is My Damn Pony?

I was promised a Pony, and all I got was legalized pot.

[hifiguy]

15. Ponies can be found at this site:

http://www.equestriadaily.com/

Notify the appropriate people at Obama For America with your specific Pony request.

[Shrike47]

29. I want the Black Stallion.

We'll ride fast as the wind!

[Skittles]

53. ponies aren't just SENT

you have to specify size, color, and # of tricks it can perform........SHEESH

[mimi85]

56. Love it!

[bluestate10]

9. You got your free stuff? Where is my free stuff? I demand it, along with more free stuff because I

didn't get my free stuff on time!!!

[Indpndnt]

20. You get a bonus because it's late! Yet another Visa card.

[liberalmuse]

10. In Washington State...

we get to enroll in the "Weed 'O the Month" club. We also get bonus stamps for our commie catalogue coupon books if we choose to get gay married by a Rastafarian.

[pokerfan]

17. That's the gift that keeps on

giving throughout the entire year...

[PennsylvaniaMatt]

11. Question?

Do I get a discount on a Prius at my local Toyota dealer now!?

[Whovian]

12. Wait a it. There will be one with a big bow on it in your driveway shortly.

[PennsylvaniaMatt]

21. That's right!

Why am I talking about a discount!? We just get them for free!!

[longship]

13. On 7 November AM, I got a unicorn that farts rainbows

Plus, I have since received the prepaid VISA card, my new Obamaphone, a Volvo, and unlimited food stamps. Now I am eating steak with truffle sauce at every meal.

Victory is sweet!

[kydo]

14. Damn I'm in FL it will take weeks for me to get my free stuff

I want my free stuff!!!

[BuelahWitch]

18. I hope Sam Brownback doesn't confiscate mine

[sarcasmo]

31. +1

[yurbud]

16. by contrast, the rich guys who bankroll the GOP expect NOTHING in return

No tax breaks, subsidies, or protection from prosecution. They just love the ideas of the Republican Party and think they are best for America.

[theKed]

74. Bless their hearts

Salt of the earth, those lads.

[corneliamcgillicutty]

22. I GOT TRAVEL STAMPS

that are good for one world cruise for two on the QEII. Also included in my travel packet are airline vouchers for first class travel to any destination. Vouchers can be used multiple times but are only good for one year. At the end of the year I must reapply for the travel stamps and verify that I do not have a job and therefore will be available to travel. Oh the red tape in just getting my stuff!!

[2naSalit]

32. Most of them

sound like devout Calvinists.

BTW, I got my free stuff early 'cuz I voted early and the dems were concerned that I wouldn't get it after the election 'cuz I live in a reeeeeally red state.

[proud2BlibKansan]

23. What about the Obamaphones?

I can't wait to get mine!

[Cleita]

25. I didn't get my pony yet, but I did get my other stuff. n/t

[mckara]

27. Turning Neighbors Gay and Then Needing Abortions? Immaculate Conceptions?

Hello, Wolf? I've got a scoop for you!

[quakerboy]

28. To much credit given.

Republicans don't think. They believe. An important distinction.

[2naSalit]

33. Indeed!

[Volaris]

58. From last weeks episode of American Horror Story: Assylum...

"Respect those who seek The Truth. Doubt those who claim to have found it."

Or something to that effect. Made me think of the difference between Nate Silver and Karl Rove.

[sarcasmo]

30. Guess my free stuff was stolen by a Republican.

[xfundy]

35. I got my Obama iPhone.

And a hundred pounds of caviar for my cat. A republican family was FORCED out of their ANCESTRAL home and I got to go and laff as they were tased, even the granny. Thank GOD she refused ObamaCare: More for me and any brown or dark person.

My librul buddy sprained his ankle and they sent him to the best hospital in New York City! In a stretch limo! From Florida!

He got his own plane to fly back in once his gout (from eating LOBSTER and truffles every meal; the chef they supplied him was FRENCH!

I get to ride along with gubmint re-education squads as they confiscate and burn Bibles and replace them with KORANS and melt down their guns to make statues of HITLER, STALIN and FDR dancing together.

Life is SO good these days. YAY OBAMA!

ETA:

ANd not only am I getting GAY MARRIED, everyone at the church down the street will be FORCED into it!

[PBass]

36. I'm looking forward to the E.G.M.

Enforced Gay Marriage.

I already have my eye on somebody.

[ErikJ]

37. But its hard to spell sitting on a T-Bagger's $10,000 Gubmint paid Hover Round.

[RoccoR5955]

38. What, no Obamaphone?!?!?

You must not rate!

[The Old Creak]

39. Great post

But I want some of that stuff the generals are getting.........

[Fantastic Anarchist]

40. Don't forget that demon spawn, Saul Alinksy ...

He personally visited my house!

Wooohooo!

Edit: Correct pronoun

[KatyaR]

43. I got the little house of my dreams on a quiet street,

my car paid off, and a VISA card with an unlimited credit line. Next week I'm going in for cataract surgery and dental work (all free, of course!). And you should see my new wardrobe--no more old clothes for me!

I LOVE being a Democrat!!!

[Liberalagogo]

45. All I got was a rock.

[Ruby the Liberal]

46. You must live in a Red State.

I also got a copy of Rules for Radicals and a Chinese Jeep.

Edited because everyone else beat me to the phone joke.

[Megahurtz]

47. Yacht? Where's my Yacht?!?

....oh shit....wrong Party....

[Sophiegirl]

48. I live in Northern VA

Obama promised to bring my free stuff to me personally. Not sure what it is, but he has good connections. Just hope it doesn't include a turnip from Michelle. I'll take free organic squash though. I don't like turnips, but they are both well aware of that.

[Neurotica]

75. I do too and my son was told by a mom that he won't have to ask for band donations anymore

Really. He and his friends were collecting money for the band last weekend (a well-known annual collection event in our community). At one house, my son explained what they were doing. The mom said that her daughter went to well-known private school. She then went on to ask who the kids supported in the election. Keep in mind that these were 9th graders. One kid blurted out "Obama" and it was all over at that point. The mom said, "Oh, bad choice." She then went on to say that "Next time, if there *is* a next time, you won't have to ask for donations because Obama will be giving money away."

Needless to say, she didn't donate.

How rude and unbelievable is that?!

[Sophiegirl]

89. What High School?

My kids went to Marshall and my son was in the band and went out at the beginning of the year for "Tag Day."

[amywalk]

49. Fort Lauderdale here. Tired and happy. Just got home from the Moochers Ball in Wilton Manors. Great

Time was had by all, but so much stuff, I had to make two trips to get it all home. Plus, not I am complaining, but I had to sign a promise to get an abortion and "go gay". Totally worth all the free shit.

[bluestate10]

79. Did anyone impregnate 50 people? We need more people asking for free stuff. And to keep getting

free stuff, we need to out vote the other side.

[Honeycombe8]

50. I got a lifesize stuffed Big Bird and a bag full of contraceptives in my 1st Free Stuff Package. nt

[bluestate10]

80. Your limitless credit card and luxury car are coming next week. Along with your Obama phone. nt

[Honeycombe8]

90. LOL. My car better be a pink Cadillac. After all, I AM a whore and a pimp! nt

[Arugula Latte]

51. Uhh, Hellooooo -- Porn?!

I was told there would be free porn!

Specifically I'm waiting on "The Welfare Queen Does the Arty Jobless Hipster" ... *tapping toe*

[rbrnmw]

88. don't you mean the Welfare Drag Queen? we only get GLBT porn

to get us ready for forced gay marriage next week

[Arugula Latte]

91. That's right. Thanks for the reminder.

Are we going on the lottery system for our gay marriages? Or is there a giant computer base matching us on our interests such as "multiple piercings of unlikely body parts" and "overthrowing the bourgeoisie"?

[Jim Lane]

52. I have a question about the free pot.

I mean, I assume that I'll get free pot. My concern is that its use might be prohibited by Sharia law. Do I have to be sure to smoke it all before Inauguration Day? or is the implementation of Sharia law scheduled for later in the year?

[bluestate10]

81. No worry.

YOur home brewery is on the way. You can smoke pot and wash it down with beer while you lay around every day waiting for your next welfare check.

[MzShellG]

54. Hmmmph! All I got was an I vote sticker...

Can I at least have a raise?

[Spitfire of ATJ]

71. You're not high enough?

[JohnnyRingo]

55. You forgot about my Cadillac.

I'm going down to the dealer next week after the welfare line gets shorter.

[Sedona]

60. Whazzamata? Didn't you get an elevator for it? nt

[JohnnyRingo]

67. Nah... Wrong guy won. LOL

[dsharp88]

59. I don't think this is legit. You made one logical error...

How can gay people be forced to have abortions? Answer me that!

Ha, gotcha!

[amywalk]

65. Gurlz....

[struggle4progress]

61. I got a flying saucer, a harem, a year's supply of Frosted Flakes, and a hand-buzzer!

[JackRiddler]

62. Where are my Soros checks?

[Nevernose]

63. One of The Gays - a black one! - was just here!

He was driving a school bus full of young children he was indoctrinating to also be Gays. After we exchanged our secret Democratic code words ("Death to America! Down with George Washington, up with Muhammad!&quot , he gave me my free copy of The Communist Manifesto, stuffed full of hundred dollar bills and food stamps.

Tomorrow he's going to come back with some illegal aliens and we're gonna confiscate the neighbor's guns. If it gets too dark to confiscate -- what with our evil daylight savings conspiracy -- we'll just burn antique, thirteen-starred American flags for light and warmth. Yippee!

[Ikonoklast]

64. I got a rock.

[tiredtoo]

72. Well i got a trip to Disney World

but it may be a trick as it was delivered in a papa johns pizza box. then i really don't know because the delivery guy was driving a Cadillac and dressed really nice. Do they take food stamps at Disney or should i just cash my big ass welfare check ?

[Kennah]

83. I smoked 4 onces of gay marijuana ...

... and now I'm eyeing Brad Pitt rather than Angelina Jolie.

[pepperbear]

85. they just took my rich neighbor's house and divided it among me and 5 others.