You will love this, people! A Dose of Tiedrich.

[Joinfortmill]

https://www.jefftiedrich.com/p/never-fuck-with-your-brand?utm_source=substack&utm_medium


'never fuck with your brand: x marks the very stupid spot' JEFF TIEDRICH

'every morning, Donald Trump wakes up and tortures his few remaining hairs into that famous fucked up rat’s nest of cotton candy bullshit that sits atop his big dumb pumpkin head. he then puts on one of his shapeless, ill-fitting, off-the-rack cheap blue suits, and finishes it off with a ludicrously long red tie.

he looks like a fucking clown. and you know what? he knows that he looks like a fucking clown. but he does it anyway.do you know why he does this? because it’s his brand. Donald Trump is a fucking moron, but he absorbed one lesson from all his years of being a game show host on TV: never fuck with your brand.

you can spot Donald Trump a mile away. he’s counting on that. if Trump went on TV tonight wearing a well-tailored suit and with his hair combed back in a dignified manner, you wouldn’t hear a word he said. you be too busy trying to figure out what the hell was going on. that’s why you never fuck with your brand.'

[Maraya1969]

1. How do you know that his jacket is off the rack?

[OneBlueDotS-Carolina]

3. Off the rack, or....

His tailor is blind, deaf & dumb & has no sense of smell.

[Warpy]

6. He's too much of a germaphobe to let a tailor near him

and that's why he always looks like an unmade bed. The suits are expensive enough, they're just made to be taken in to fit.

[MorbidButterflyTat]

16. "He's too much of a germaphobe to let a tailor near him.."

He's too much of a germaphobe to maul and try to kiss random women on the mouth by force.

He's too much of a germaphobe to let a woman iron his pants while he's wearing them.

He's too much of a germaphobe to ride a porn star bareback.

Oops. Never mind.

[OMGWTF]

19. Yeah, Shitler's no germaphobe.

[Warpy]

33. He just doesn't believe those female germs will infect him

That little nubbin of his should have turned green and fallen off years ago.

[RVN VET71]

26. He told Howard Stern, you remember, that his "Vietnam"

was risking STDs by messin' around with all sorts of women and their lady parts.

His way of telling the world that everybody who went to Vietnam was a sucker and a loser while he, Cadet Bone Spurs, stayed home raping or paying for sex with whomever caught his narcissistic fancy.

Personally, I think he is, actually is, a damned germaphobe except when it interferes with his ability to use and abuse women.

[DENVERPOPS]

48. They are not off the rack

they are custom tailored by Omar the Tent Maker to try and hide his humongous Lard Ass and huge pot belly......

I will stop there for fear of earning a hand slap from DU

Is shower cap ferret on a break???????? I miss his eloquent and insanely hilarious descriptions of different Republicans.......

[Quakerfriend]

52. Omg, Lol!

You win the day!

[swong19104]

4. Because he has no money

Trump isn't rich and can't afford tailored suits.

[keithbvadu2]

5. The evil tan suit

The evil tan suit

[pandr32]

8. OMGawd I love this!

One of these guys is not like the other and it isn't because of skin color. Obama easily out classes that other...thing.

[orleans]

15. great comparison pic nt

[peppertree]

20. The late, great Queen Elizabeth said it best:

She'd privately refer to him as the 'Pig in a Tuxedo'.

[calimary]

36. The pig's tuxedo fits him better.

[Joinfortmill]

30. What a stark difference. Obama is so elegant.

[EndlessWire]

43. Geez, that man was/is eye candy. n/t

[DENVERPOPS]

50. Trump looks like

he is going for a reverse hour glass look.....Notice how narrow/puny his shoulders are in the photograph with the red tie compared to his hip/waist line area. (For the record, he wears the long tie, going down below his belt line to focus women's attention on the pointed end of the tie, directing their eyes to his "tiny mushroom"......) He thinks it's a cool subconscious trick, when in reality it looks like a four year old kid wearing his dad's tie........

Thank goodness he doesn't/can't spend any time coming/leaving Denver during the summer. My pilot friends tell me that with these extreme temps and Denver's altitude together, he would be the only person they would be able to allow on board due to severe weight restrictions to get off the ground on takeoff with Denver's high summer temperatures and high altitude.......(Air density/Altitude calculations)

[paleotn]

29. Because they look only slightly better than Jimmy Wah's shiny green suit.

Good Morning Vietnam.

[Irish_Dem]

35. Because his clothes do not fit.

[Blue Owl]

2. He'll cling to that tarnished brand until his dying day -- which may be soon

He's working himself up into a lather -- and if he goes to prison, he might just stroke out (finally)!!!

[3catwoman3]

9. Yes, please!

Any time would be fine.

[Lonestarblue]

12. Now would be good!

[RVN VET71]

28. As soon as he is laughed at by the entire cell block

when he orders a big mac and diet coke and is given a metal food tray and told to get in line for greasy liver and onions with the other miscreants.

[Midnight Writer]

7. Something Musk never learned.

[Aristus]

10. I'm not sure just why looking like a clown should be anyone's brand but that of an actual clown.

I'm nobody's idea of good-looking (except for Mrs. Aristus, and her opinion counts the most, )

But I always make sure that my tailored clothing is well-tailored. I don't need to look like a million bucks; just like whatever I spent for the suit, the tailoring, and a little extra something that comes with confidence and good grooming.

I don't look any better dressed up, but my clothing creates the illusion that I do. And I'm cool with that. I would never want to look like a clown unless I was the comedy act at a circus.

[calimary]

37. My husband likes Hawaiian shirts.

And so do I. He walked our daughter down the aisle in a GREAT shirt - basic black with glorious white orchids all over it. All the other men were in suits. I didn’t care. I thought he looked as good as she did!

[Aristus]

38. I've got a closet full of 100% silk Tommy Bahama aloha shirts.

I used to enjoy wearing them until the Proud Boys, or another one of those odious hate groups, made aloha shirts one of their uniforms.

Those guys ruin everything…

[calimary]

40. Well, we'll proudly ignore that Proud Boys complication!

He likes his Hawaiian shirts cuz he likes Hawaiian shirts. And so do I. And those piss-ant bastards are NOT gonna spoil ‘em for either one of us.

[kimbutgar]

11. And he only wears two outfits, the ill fitting suit with the red tie and the golf attire

And the right wing is attacking President Biden for wearing comfortable tennis shoes getting on a plane and probably changing the shoes before he arrives at his destination. I thought the tan suit thing on President Obama was stupid but they’ve gone even stupider with the tennis shoes feigned outrage!

[calimary]

41. And just remember: that's all they've got.

And that’s the “best” they can do.

Whereas the donald has generated truckloads of gravely serious and illegal material for prosecutors all over everywhere to sink their teeth into (AND likewise for us, too!).

[3catwoman3]

13. "... that famous fucked up rat's nest of cotton candy bullshit...

...that sits atop his big dumb pumpkin head."

This is one of the best descriptions of Trump's hair I have ever read. Had me LOL.

I've said it looks like cotton candy spun out of pee.

It looked ridiculous when he was younger. It looks even more ridiculous now.

[calimary]

42. To me it looks like something you scrub the insides of your dirty pots and pans with.

[NJCher]

44. the way he does it

makes his head look square.

[Hortensis]

14. True for a proven best selling brand.

BUT, how about when he was young, finding his style?

Experts in narcissism say it's common for many to adopt a look they admire in adolescence -- often from a movie or rock star -- and then keep it for life.

Apparently when narcissists fantasize, it isn't about them doing wonderful things like ordinary people do -- their fantasies may often be static IMAGES for them to admire of themselves -- looking the idealized way they see themselves, even as they age.

Around the time tRump was developing "his" look, both Elvis and Troy Donahue were big. And of course "mother" was available as a model also.

?quality=75&auto=webp

[ExWhoDoesntCare]

17. His mother at least had the decency to be ashamed of him sometimes

And in that picture, she looks like she could tear off his head and feed it to the fishes. That is not a pleased or admiring expression.

[MorbidButterflyTat]

18. She looks like

she can't believe she spawned that.

Her face has "hate" written all over it.

[LakeArenal]

22. She looks like that cuz his other hand is grabbing her ass.

[Hortensis]

32. Lol, I'd guess a possibility. Maybe she's been harassing

him to be a more ruthless slumlord, which apparently is likely.

[orleans]

27. what a picture! like mother, like son -- both so hideous and hateful

makes me cringe looking at it

[NJCher]

45. yep, this

eom

[Joinfortmill]

31. Yikes!

[DENVERPOPS]

39. I think we should have a contest

playing "Caption This Photo"

My caption would read: "You contemptible, despicable piece of shit, I knew I should have gotten an abortion and saved the world"

[Hortensis]

46. :) Quite a photo. Maybe "Freud may have been onto something."

These two make an interesting pair -- for those who are into cringe and creepy, or just the hoards of professionals who'll be analyzing them forever.

[dflprincess]

21. I often wonder why he never bought a decent toupee

A good one would have looked so much better.

[LakeArenal]

23. I think because he sees himself as that golden haired golden boy...

[DENVERPOPS]

47. Sort of reminds me

of what you get when you mix a golden retriever and cotton candy.........

[paleotn]

24. Ha!! Tiedrich. Spot on as usual.

[Cha]

25. Like mush fucked with the Twitter brand??

So he was a slob as the game show host and he couldn't upgrade himself when he got in the WH as Putin's puppet.

That's ridiculous.

[dalton99a]

34. Kick

[colorado_ufo]

49. He just tries to maximize looking like a "big guy "

Lifts in his shoes, shoulder pads, big loose clothes. Fake tan, fake hair color, fake wealth.

[The Wizard]

51. His brand is identified

as lying thieving weasel. And he should remove the eyes from that thing before putting it on his head.