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Pacifist Patriot

(25,212 posts)
Mon Aug 7, 2023, 04:41 PM Aug 2023

Here's a deprogramming technique that surprisingly worked. One less Trump supporter!

This particular individual is a casual acquaintance - friend of a friend. She was radicalized about two years ago by a conservative megachurch in town that got their hooks in her when she visited once with her mother-in-law. They fed her the far-right talking points in emails, texts and social media exchanges, gradually sucking her into their "media" bubble and making sure she stayed there.

What follows is not verbatim of course, but a good approximation of the exchange.

A couple of weeks ago we were at a non-political gathering with mutual friends. Miss Trumphumper made some comment about not having a problem with LGBTQ+ folks "until they started targeting children." As the mom of a trans child (she did not know this at the time), I couldn't help myself. But I was cool. I asked her to explain what she meant by targeting children and when this was supposed to have "started."

She told me "those perverts" are now trying to pass legislation in multiple states to get the age of consent lowered to 13 and child brides. And something about drag.

Ooof! Deep breath.

I asked her how the LGBTQ+ community could even do that since they aren't a political party. She said something about lobbying groups. But of course could not name one when I asked. I told her that no, the LGBTQ+ community does not have lobbying groups trying to lower the age of consent or legalize child marriage. In fact, that would be some the majority Republican legislatures in various states trying to do that.

Of course she didn't believe me and said she didn't know where I got my news because obviously I wasn't getting the truth about the LGBTQ+ threat to our society.

Light bulb moment!

I said, "hey, since you're bringing up where we get our news, I've got a challenge for you. A game if you will."

Our mutual friend immediately piped up, "I'm in!" having no idea what I was about to say. So of course Miss Trumphumper had to say she would do it too.

I told her not to worry. I wasn't going to ask her to trade the Washington Times for the Washington Post or the NY Post for the NY Times. I wasn't going to ask her to turn off FNN in favor of CNN. I wasn't going to ask her to switch from Breitbart.com to MSNBC.com.

Here's what I challenged the three of us to do.

1. Go local. No reading news content that was published by an organization with a national audience. It had to be published by a local/regional newspaper that also had a print edition.

2. Pick several states and read the newspapers published in the state capital and one or two other metropolitan areas. For example, in Florida that would be the Tallahassee Democrat, Orlando Sentinel, Tampa Bay, Miami Herald, etc.

3. I told her it was perfectly fine if she only chose red states, but she got bonus points if she read articles in local newspapers in a couple of chosen blue states as well.

4. Avoid stories that are national in scale. If it is about President Biden, VP Harris, or Trump, don't read! If it is about the US Congress or a Senator or Congressperson, don't read! Local and state content only. Political news about governors, state legislatures, county commissions, city councils, etc. only.

5. If you watch news on the television, restrict yourself to the local ABC/NBC/CBS affiliates. I told her even the local Fox affiliate was permissible. No 24-hour cable news channels of any kind.

6. Don't read anything sent to you, only what you find yourself reading the local content providers. If you get emails, texts, and FB messages that include links to news content, put them in a folder to read after the challenge is over. I'm not telling you not to read them, just wait until the challenge is over.

I asked if we all thought we could do this for 30 days. My friend again, "I love it, I'm in!" So Miss Trumphumper said she would do it too. I honestly expected her to go home and immediately turn on Fox News and completely ignore the challenge.

Surprise surprise!

I got a text from her after just 9 days.

"OMG! WTF did they do to me?"

She isn't in my contacts. Something like this I usually delete and block, but my instincts went "hold on a minute." I texted back, "Is this Miss Trumphumper (using her name of course)?" She confirmed and then let loose with a torrent of expletives about Moms for Liberty.

In a phone call, she also apologized profusely about the LGBTQ+ comments. In those nine days she found out about my kid and seemed sincerely horrified about what she had said to me. She told me that after about five days she cheated and started watching CNN (MSNBC was apparently a step too far in those early days LOL!) to see if it confirmed what she was seeing in local news.

And to think I was plotting how to get away from her when I thought, "what the hell, let's see where this goes" and came up with the challenge.

It is obviously not going to work with everyone, probably not with many people at all. But hey, we've got one less cult member to worry about. Whew.

60 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Here's a deprogramming technique that surprisingly worked. One less Trump supporter! (Original Post) Pacifist Patriot Aug 2023 OP
Great story! dlk Aug 2023 #1
Interesting! Ty for your effort/idea. Some "one less" in the right areas could make a different electric_blue68 Aug 2023 #2
Awesome Chi67 Aug 2023 #3
You, sir, are MOMFUDSKI Aug 2023 #4
A gentlewoman and a scholar. Pacifist Patriot Aug 2023 #14
Indeed! Nictuku Aug 2023 #37
Well Done! 2naSalit Aug 2023 #5
Well done! ms liberty Aug 2023 #6
I do worry... Think. Again. Aug 2023 #7
Deprogramming isn't being hyperbolic. Pacifist Patriot Aug 2023 #13
Congrats, way to go. n/t iluvtennis Aug 2023 #8
Love this. Joinfortmill Aug 2023 #9
This is a great achievement! ShazzieB Aug 2023 #10
I honestly have no earthly idea how I came up with it. Pacifist Patriot Aug 2023 #12
For some reason, soldierant Aug 2023 #33
I think the key reason the local news angle worked is because ExWhoDoesntCare Aug 2023 #35
Brilliant !!! Karadeniz Aug 2023 #11
Kick orangecrush Aug 2023 #15
Brilliant! I wonder whether there is a less homework-intensive way to diva77 Aug 2023 #16
David Sedaris, the writer, was interviewd recently..his father got deprogramned by... Demovictory9 Aug 2023 #17
I love it. Pacifist Patriot Aug 2023 #24
I did that with an extreme right winger I know by telling her to try NPR. Hamlette Aug 2023 #18
I had a guy agree to turn off FOX for a couple days. rickford66 Aug 2023 #19
It's a drug. Pacifist Patriot Aug 2023 #25
That was incredible! You sre awesome! nt Ilsa Aug 2023 #20
This is brilliant AmBlue Aug 2023 #21
Thank you for remaining calm and taking the time. Cheers. nt Esra Star Aug 2023 #22
Cheers to you Pacifist Patriot! BaronChocula Aug 2023 #23
Pacifist Patriot, if this country survives, it will be because of people like you! BComplex Aug 2023 #26
Inspirational. If people are honest, they can change their minds. ancianita Aug 2023 #27
NICE work, Pacifist Patriot! calimary Aug 2023 #28
That's a great story and great result! Very creative of KPN Aug 2023 #29
Tremendous! . . . . nt Bernardo de La Paz Aug 2023 #30
Wow! Good for you! Wild blueberry Aug 2023 #31
My local news is lead-and-bleed. I don't think watching it changes anything. live love laugh Aug 2023 #32
Our local news is weather, ag ads, sappy human interest, SharonClark Aug 2023 #34
You are a hero! Well done! chia Aug 2023 #36
9 days. Turbineguy Aug 2023 #38
Wow. I can't believe she agreed Catherine Vincent Aug 2023 #39
She was someone who was radicalized relatively recently but.. Pacifist Patriot Aug 2023 #45
I would have thought two old fashioneds Snooper9 Aug 2023 #40
Good work! wryter2000 Aug 2023 #41
I do think that having been radicalized relatively recently... Pacifist Patriot Aug 2023 #44
Wonderful idea and result! Too many people don't know the difference between propaganda Lonestarblue Aug 2023 #42
Deutchland was in a bad way after WWI and totally ready for...something. Ligyron Aug 2023 #46
Great OP malaise Aug 2023 #43
Well done! Best_man23 Aug 2023 #47
great post rampartc Aug 2023 #48
You found a needle in a haystack. Woodwizard Aug 2023 #49
Yeah, I don't think this would happen with just anyone. Pacifist Patriot Aug 2023 #50
Oh yeah the cult is out there. Woodwizard Aug 2023 #52
Even so, that's one less. calimary Aug 2023 #58
We need a national challenge like this. 70+% of republicans believe Biden didn't win the election. JudyM Aug 2023 #51
Brilliant achievement! Thanks for sharing your story FakeNoose Aug 2023 #53
Honestly, I'm not sure if it isn't the other way around. Pacifist Patriot Aug 2023 #54
its all about where their info comes from. my smart global warming phd science cousin is also a pansypoo53219 Aug 2023 #55
TAX THE CHURCHES! OMGWTF Aug 2023 #56
Interesting stuff nice I want to deprogram a family member Laura PourMeADrink Aug 2023 #57
Pacifist Patriot.......... Upthevibe Aug 2023 #59
it's never just one person AlexSFCA Aug 2023 #60

Chi67

(1,285 posts)
3. Awesome
Mon Aug 7, 2023, 04:49 PM
Aug 2023

Yep, people like this find it a lot harder to hurt LGBT people when they know someone who is LGBT.

 

Think. Again.

(22,456 posts)
7. I do worry...
Mon Aug 7, 2023, 05:16 PM
Aug 2023

...(probably too much) about how we will go about helping them back to health.

There are a LOT of people out there now suffering from what is obviously a psychological ...anomoly (to be polite and because I don't know what an actual diagnosis would be) that is leaving them disconnected from obvious reality.

A lot of them are also indulging in violent and even murderous ideation, and some have actually already acted out on those violent fantasies.

I really do believe we have a nation-wide mental health emergency on our hands and I can only hope that psychiatric professionals are working toward a plan of action to actually (somehow) treat millions of people with some sort of mass therapy.

Pacifist Patriot

(25,212 posts)
13. Deprogramming isn't being hyperbolic.
Mon Aug 7, 2023, 05:58 PM
Aug 2023

I think a lot of these folks do need to be treated as cult members.

ShazzieB

(22,582 posts)
10. This is a great achievement!
Mon Aug 7, 2023, 05:52 PM
Aug 2023

So happy she had such a mind opening epiphany!

I'd like to know more about how this thing worked and how you came up with the idea. In particular, I don't understand why reading only local news would have this effect. I love that this worked so well, but I don't really understand how or why it did. Maybe I'm missing something?

Pacifist Patriot

(25,212 posts)
12. I honestly have no earthly idea how I came up with it.
Mon Aug 7, 2023, 05:56 PM
Aug 2023

I think the seed was planted in a conversation I had about the media with my parents earlier this year. Must have been stewing in the back of my head.

I suspect not reading what was sent to her may have had more impact than reading local news. She shut out the cult crap noise. Maybe that gave space for critical thinking to take hold again?

soldierant

(9,354 posts)
33. For some reason,
Mon Aug 7, 2023, 09:07 PM
Aug 2023

local news - and local journalists - tend to be more connected to reality. Even Fox affiliates tend to be quite accurate on local stories.

I don't know why - but I suspect it has something to do withpeople knowing who you are in actual (not fantasy) small towns - one feels more accountable. Of course I could be wrong.

 

ExWhoDoesntCare

(4,741 posts)
35. I think the key reason the local news angle worked is because
Mon Aug 7, 2023, 09:22 PM
Aug 2023

They cover what's actually going on in their cities and states, just the facts. They tell you the bills before their statehouses, and who's proposing what. Like who is proposing and supporting child bride legislation, and who is opposing that.

Local media is also less inclined to get into "narratives" with their reporting, like, oh the NYT notoriously does.

A bunch of non-NY/DC papers are doing fantastic work out there, and getting far too little credit for it.

diva77

(7,880 posts)
16. Brilliant! I wonder whether there is a less homework-intensive way to
Mon Aug 7, 2023, 06:34 PM
Aug 2023

accomplish this -- just thinking of most Chumpists having an aversion to anything that requires a cerebral effort.

Demovictory9

(37,113 posts)
17. David Sedaris, the writer, was interviewd recently..his father got deprogramned by...
Mon Aug 7, 2023, 06:44 PM
Aug 2023

Moving to nursing home and not being able to figure out the tv controls. Fox news had kept him "boiling with rage". When that source was no longer available he settled down.

Hamlette

(15,556 posts)
18. I did that with an extreme right winger I know by telling her to try NPR.
Mon Aug 7, 2023, 06:46 PM
Aug 2023

She did and really mellowed out. I'm not sure she got to the point where she agreed she was being lied to by Fox etc but she loved it and started quoting stories to me she'd heard on NPR.

tiny steps

rickford66

(6,065 posts)
19. I had a guy agree to turn off FOX for a couple days.
Mon Aug 7, 2023, 07:09 PM
Aug 2023

When I saw him again and asked how it went, he said he couldn't stay away from FOX and kept watching it. I ignore him now.

BComplex

(9,913 posts)
26. Pacifist Patriot, if this country survives, it will be because of people like you!
Mon Aug 7, 2023, 07:30 PM
Aug 2023

Thanks for following through on your hunch!

ancianita

(43,307 posts)
27. Inspirational. If people are honest, they can change their minds.
Mon Aug 7, 2023, 07:36 PM
Aug 2023

You can think on your feet! Not sure that I could repeat your challenge, but it's a fair one.

calimary

(90,017 posts)
28. NICE work, Pacifist Patriot!
Mon Aug 7, 2023, 07:36 PM
Aug 2023

Thank you for such a gentle and carefully-handled approach! You got the goods, and helped someone else to escape from Political Delusionland. TERRIFIC work! Another mind opened!

KPN

(17,376 posts)
29. That's a great story and great result! Very creative of
Mon Aug 7, 2023, 07:38 PM
Aug 2023

you. Thanks for sharing that bit of hope — a small tidbit, but nevertheless hope. Any light getting through at all is a very good sign in these dark times.

live love laugh

(16,383 posts)
32. My local news is lead-and-bleed. I don't think watching it changes anything.
Mon Aug 7, 2023, 08:28 PM
Aug 2023

They also regurgitate national newz without any pushback. I rarely watch local or national news.

SharonClark

(10,497 posts)
34. Our local news is weather, ag ads, sappy human interest,
Mon Aug 7, 2023, 09:17 PM
Aug 2023

weather, sports, farm prices, ag ads, and weather.

Pacifist Patriot

(25,212 posts)
45. She was someone who was radicalized relatively recently but..
Tue Aug 8, 2023, 06:51 AM
Aug 2023

Extremely ardent. I think the recency was a big help, but she sure was all in for awhile.

wryter2000

(47,940 posts)
41. Good work!
Tue Aug 8, 2023, 06:25 AM
Aug 2023

But she already had an open mind. Otherwise, she would have concluded that local sources were corrupted.

Pacifist Patriot

(25,212 posts)
44. I do think that having been radicalized relatively recently...
Tue Aug 8, 2023, 06:50 AM
Aug 2023

was a big factor. She hadn't been in the cult for as long as many people.

Lonestarblue

(13,477 posts)
42. Wonderful idea and result! Too many people don't know the difference between propaganda
Tue Aug 8, 2023, 06:41 AM
Aug 2023

and truth. And few bother to learn the difference. If schools are not now teaching the difference, they are not educating students. Years ago, not too long after Trump was elected, I had the opportunity to visit the Hitler Museum in Nuremberg (the old Nazi Party Congress Hall with the nearby grounds where so many of his Nazi rallies were held), and the parallels in the exhibits on how he used propaganda (and violence) to seize control of Germany to what Trump and Republicans were doing were striking. And today the propaganda is even worse and even more destructive to our democracy.

Best_man23

(5,268 posts)
47. Well done!
Tue Aug 8, 2023, 08:04 AM
Aug 2023

I think in September, I'm going to post this fabulous 6 step program as a 30 day challenge to my friends on social media.

In 2001, I went 364 days without watching TV news of any kind (yes, I did watch news on 9/11 like we all did). The exile from 24-hour TV news really opened my eyes to how much junk is fed to us on cable news channels. It was during this period of time that I also discovered DU.

Also taught me the importance in the digital era of continuing to read news vice allowing the TV to force feed it to you.

Woodwizard

(1,322 posts)
49. You found a needle in a haystack.
Tue Aug 8, 2023, 09:03 AM
Aug 2023

Most I know are so entrenched getting to that discussion would not happen.

I will be manning our Democratic tent at the fair this year to get out info on new local candidates and voter registration, our area is 68% registered republican and this is in the Catskills NY. I am amazed at how many pro trumpers exist here still.

Pacifist Patriot

(25,212 posts)
50. Yeah, I don't think this would happen with just anyone.
Tue Aug 8, 2023, 09:37 AM
Aug 2023

1. She was radicalized after J6. Which I still find mind blowing.
2. She was pretty apolitical prior to the church ladies getting their claws in her so she wasn't fully invested in any political ideology to begin with.
3. She was particularly vulnerable when they did.

I got lucky. Someone else might have told me to go to hell.

The key takeaway for me is point 1. Everyone needs to understand this cult is still out there actively recruiting and exploiting people. They are trying to grow and using cult tactics successfully.

Woodwizard

(1,322 posts)
52. Oh yeah the cult is out there.
Tue Aug 8, 2023, 10:10 AM
Aug 2023

One house near me has a garage with trump in 4' high letters painted on.

There are plenty of trump Rambo flags and F Joe Biden signs, less than a year ago but still around.

On a positive note I hardly see confederate flags on pickups anymore, one of the more ironic displays here in the north.

And I know a few Qanon people, they are a lost cause.

calimary

(90,017 posts)
58. Even so, that's one less.
Tue Aug 8, 2023, 02:25 PM
Aug 2023

And who knows who he’ll be talking to, whose eyes may ALSO start opening. And then you might have TWO talking to friends, neighbors, or whoever. Best-case scenario, certainly. But all it takes is one to get started.

For example, if you believe in such things, consider what Jesus built. One Guy. Who started talking. He piqued people’s interest. Comment by comment, group by group. And enough of THOSE who’d heard Him started talking. You keep that up, and soon enough, the whole world has heard it. Or had at least heard about it.

Even some little thing YOU might do or say could start a ball rolling.

Besides, you might say something that gives somebody else comfort and maybe even strength or resolve. Especially if that particular someone works or lives in a solid red zone and may despair about being along and isolated in his/her opinions.

That’s why we can’t stop, and we DEFINITELY shouldn’t shut up - or give up.

JudyM

(29,785 posts)
51. We need a national challenge like this. 70+% of republicans believe Biden didn't win the election.
Tue Aug 8, 2023, 09:50 AM
Aug 2023

Whatever our leadership is doing to combat misinfo, it’s not close to working. If we can’t trim FNN’s lying power, maybe a national challenge promoted with compelling ads…

FakeNoose

(41,631 posts)
53. Brilliant achievement! Thanks for sharing your story
Tue Aug 8, 2023, 10:17 AM
Aug 2023

We can all learn something from this.

The important thing is to get them to turn off Faux Noise. That's 90% of the battle.
The other 10% is the "fake news" stories they swap back and forth among themselves.

You broke the cycle with your brilliant challenge. Well done!

Pacifist Patriot

(25,212 posts)
54. Honestly, I'm not sure if it isn't the other way around.
Tue Aug 8, 2023, 10:52 AM
Aug 2023

The most extreme people I know, don't watch cable news. They read the NY Post and crap they get from emails and texts.

pansypoo53219

(23,034 posts)
55. its all about where their info comes from. my smart global warming phd science cousin is also a
Tue Aug 8, 2023, 11:08 AM
Aug 2023

ditto head/alex jones lover, so he spouts angry shit about dems + sure fat gollum won. he is his father's son. i should have said limbaugh lied to hin + is NOT A GENIUS.

 

Laura PourMeADrink

(42,770 posts)
57. Interesting stuff nice I want to deprogram a family member
Tue Aug 8, 2023, 12:21 PM
Aug 2023

Don't local news stations and papers get their national and international stores from huge news feeds tho? Guess that's ok since basically factual.

I have to watch local news when visiting my mom tho. It's horrid - just a couple murders or stabbings or house fires. Oh plus weather and sports

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