The thing I hate the most since tfg came on the scene...

[LuckyCharms]

You're either speaking, emailing, or texting with someone who is not quite a friend, but a long time acquaintance, and they suddenly slip some racist bullshit into the conversation.

I've lost so many acquaintances and even friends over shit like this.

As soon as that happens "Welp, there goes another one".

I'll block them and delete them from my contacts.

All it takes is once for me.

[SheilaAnn]

1. I know just what you mean. My Friendship "Tree" is down to a few twigs...sigh. n/t

[LuckyCharms]

2. Seriously, me too.

It's depressing, and it's even more depressing to think that I didn't recognize the signs earlier.

[livetohike]

6. Same here and at 71 years old I am not wasting time

with those relationships. Strike one and you’re out.

[llmart]

46. Same here although I'm 74.

One even remotely racist remark and I'm done with that person. Doesn't matter if they've been a lifelong friend from school days.

My circle of people I will have a relationship with is getting smaller. That happens as one gets older but that's usually due to death. These days it's also due to having a core principle and not being wishy washy about that principle.

[Bluethroughu]

49. I'm glad I'm not alone in this. I tried to persuade people to

Understand what they are saying. Now, my patience is gone and so are they.

[Effete Snob]

3. Yup

[Boomerproud]

4. That happens too frequently at my workplace. My response is a side look or silence

and that stops it for awhile but it pops up again.

[ThoughtCriminal]

5. Republicans can't figure out why so many "Libtards" are unfriending them

Or they figure it's just because we're all commie snowflakes.

[kimbutgar]

7. I'm lost two longtime friends to him

Both women friends who I knew in my 20’s. We used to have so much fun together and they went full Maga.

Ironically both these women had lousy childhoods and not much of relationships with their fathers growing up. I had a great Dad who I knew loved me. Both these women had lousy relationships and are both single now and growing older and looking older was hard on them.

[wnylib]

9. Many MAGAs had hard childhoods and bad

relationships with their fathers. Trump had an abusive childhood and a lousy father. They identify with him.

Not all people with lousy fathers or bad childhoods become MAGAs. Many learn to cope with their past without becoming hate-filled and ignorant. Several learn from their own pain to care about others who suffer in any way.

But MAGAs are perpetually angry and unable to give it up. They love having a "leader" who expresses it for them and gives them license to lash out, too.

[leftyladyfrommo]

21. And behind all anger is fear. I have known a lot of

these people having lived and worked in Missouri. These people are just plain scared. And if you asked them what they are scared of they probably couldn't tell you.

Msybe if you have almost no education our human fragility looks a lot scarier.

[Wednesdays]

22. The great philosopher Yoda:

"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."

[soldierant]

26. Anger doesn't always lead to hate.

Sometimes it leads to positive change.

In fact no change is possible without it. But it makes a difference whether you control it or it controls you.

[ExWhoDoesntCare]

39. As usual with George Lucas

It's wrong *and* stupid. He confused anger with rage. They're not the same thing.

Rage is irrational and uncontrolled fury over ridiculous things. It's destructive and negative.

Anger is a perfectly legitimate and healthy response when faced with something you know is wrong. It is born from a position of love, and fair play. With anger, you are getting a message to do something positive to change something that's wrong. It's when people get angry about injustice, angry about abuse, angry about inequality that they get together and change the world.

As but one example, yet something that changed the world, it was righteous anger at being told to yield her seat to a white person that made Rosa Parks stay in her seat.

That kind of anger launched the civil rights movement--fed it, and sustained it.

[wnylib]

25. I'm not convinced that education makes the difference.

There are highly educated people who are MAGA leaders.

I know some well educated people who support Trump.

It seems to be a matter of emotions and character more than one of facts and knowledge.

[llmart]

47. +1000

I had a lousy father and a poor childhood and yet it led me to have more empathy for others. As a very young child I was determined to not let my past define me. In my household once you graduated from high school you were on your own. So growing up I set my sights on making it to graduation and then creating a life the way I wanted it to be. I also made sure my two children had a life unlike mine and I did everything to see that they did.

[wnylib]

50. Kudos! Must have been hard, but you are

an example that people can make changes in their lives.

[pwb]

8. I am like that with liars.

Friendship over.

[Mira]

10. I say, and it is like a Mantra

"What makes you think I share your prejudice?" And take it from there, out the door

[Sky Jewels]

14. That's great.

May I make one small suggestion? Instead of the word "prejudice," use "bigotry." It hits harder, IMHO.

[Mira]

38. I'm in the South

and the folks involved understand the word prejudice a bit better. I'll amend as needed. LOL

[hibbing]

11. The plethora of racist stickers on vehicles

Seeing them more and more. I guess there is no shame anymore since the other party fully embraces it. A few tfg stickers, don't tread on me, and a confederate flag seem to be part for the course these days.

Peace

[Ford_Prefect]

12. Oy Vey! The list of casual offences just does not end...

[maxrandb]

13. What I hate the most is that I even know his name

Every fiber of my being knows that I should not be required to spend one second of my thoughts on this dipshit.

He is, and should be, the most insignificant person to have ever darkened planet earth.

Because enough hateful, racist asshats decided to sell their souls to give this guy position and authority he should never come within a 1,000 miles of, I am required to treat a completely ignorant, unserious moron, seriously.

It's like I have spent 7 years watching a dog working on a Trigonometry equation, while 42% of the people tell me the dog is a genius, and 8% of the people think "the dog is just like a guy with a masters degree in physics from M. I. T."

[Sky Jewels]

15. May I ask:

Do you call them out first before blocking them? It would be great if they all knew why they were being cut off. Who knows, maybe one or two will think about their hateful ways.

[LuckyCharms]

23. Depends.

The latest one was via a link that someone had emailed me. I just didn't respond to the email and removed him from my contacts.

If done in person, I've said things like "Fuck right out of here with that shit".

Another time in person, I relentlessly embarrassed this guy before telling him to fuck off. This was at a party.

Sometimes I'll just say "Oh, I see".

It's not always racism, sometime it's "The Gay" shit.

Sometimes I'll hear that I'm too sensitive, they were just joking, etc.

No, they weren't joking. Nothing to joke about.

On the whole though, it's usually done online. I've ghosted both friends and relatives over this stuff, and I left Facebook permanently over it years ago.

It's a bad feeling when you realize that half of your cousins are like that.

[ExWhoDoesntCare]

40. When they say they're "joking,"

I ask them what was the setup, and what was the punch line. Because that's the basics of a joke.

No, they weren't making a joke. They were insulting someone, but thinking they could squirm free with that "only a joke" bollocks when they got called out on it.

[Wednesdays]

24. In some cases, that would just be inviting violence.

Unfortunate, but true.

[AllaN01Bear]

16. ive had so many friends who were smart go stupid over covid and trump.

[hay rick]

18. Covid was the other shoe dropping. nt

[hay rick]

17. Trump is a Rorschach test for decency or the lack thereof.

I suppose I could be grateful for friends and family being unmasked. I'm not.

The truth is cold comfort.

[Evolve Dammit]

19. good assessment

[tiredtoo]

20. I call them out

If they don't want to comply, they are gone.

[flying_wahini]

27. Me too and they are so 'stoopid' they can't figure out Why. Yes, really.

[Ferrets are Cool]

28. Same here LC

It's frustrating and exasperating.

[czarjak]

29. But, their feelings?

[Warpy]

30. I'm afraid my reaction is not so low key as yours

"Did you really just say that? Yeah? WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?"

If I'm gonna lose another one, s/he is going to know why.

[mopinko]

45. asking them to explain their 'jokes'

pretending you just dont get it, can be effective, i’m told.
i know very few asshats to begin w.

[Warpy]

48. Yeah, if you want to get rid of them permanently

It makes them think and thinking makes their brains hurt. I use that one in a group, hilarity is had by all but the bigot.

I'm talking about casual bigotry, the use of a few pejoratives that would get me booted off DU.

[The Wizard]

31. I believe it was Bill Clinton who said

Bigotry looks bad on everyone. Life is short. Don't waste time with fools. They'll only be a source of trouble.

[Skittles]

32. I call them out first

FUCK THAT RACIST SHIT AND FUCK YOU TOO, that works

[LiberalFighter]

33. Consider that my genealogy research consists of nearly 50,000.

I don't have much data about the character of those not living before about 1920.

After that time I have come across a few reports in newspapers. Not that many. Then there are some more recent in court cases which I use primarily to identify divorce dates but there are criminal cases I have identified. Some theft while many more consisting of drugs. They are only a very small part.

Then I learn some things about some from their Facebook page. If they show a specific behavior especially political that is overboard I mark them. That is less than a handful. And not a problem as I never interacted with them.

[pandr32]

34. "When someone shows you who they are, believe them." Maya Angelou

[DENVERPOPS]

52. As my parents taught me:

Actions speak louder than words.............

[usonian]

35. It would have come out later unless it was "enabled"

You are being spared grief later on, after years of trusting people who were bottling up racism and resentment.

And you know, just because it's "those people" today, it could be you tomorrow. One is accepting or not.

Stay close to true friends and work for a society where hate is the outlier, not the norm.

I keep reposting this and it remains true:

This is from the epilogue of "Stamped From the Beginning", by Ibram X Kendi.
Emphasis mine:

Protesting against racist power and succeeding can never be mistaken for seizing power. Any effective solution to eradicating American racism must involve Americans committed to antiracist policies seizing and maintaining power over institutions, neighborhoods, counties, states, nations—the world. It makes no sense to sit back and put the future in the hands of people committed to racist policies, or people who regularly sail with the wind of self-interest, toward racism today, toward antiracism tomorrow. An antiracist America can only be guaranteed if principled antiracists are in power, and then antiracist policies become the law of the land, and then antiracist ideas become the common sense of the people, and then the antiracist common sense of the people holds those antiracist leaders and policies accountable.

And that day is sure to come. No power lasts forever. There will come a time when Americans will realize that the only thing wrong with Black people is that they think something is wrong with Black people. There will come a time when racist ideas will no longer obstruct us from seeing the complete and utter abnormality of racial disparities. There will come a time when we will love humanity, when we will gain the courage to fight for an equitable society for our beloved humanity, knowing , intelligently, that when we fight for humanity, we are fighting for ourselves. There will come a time. Maybe, just maybe, that time is now.

[PJMcK]

36. I hear you

My experiences mirror yours. There have been maybe 2-3 dozen people I’ve dropped from my life because of their support of Trump. It’s a deal breaker for me.

The only exception has been a couple of cousins and an aunt. Keep the family peace, you know? It’s an unspoken understanding that we don’t discuss politics or religion.

Otherwise, if someone is so misguided that they could support Trump then I have no respect for them. There’s no time in my life for foolish idiots.

[Initech]

37. What I hate is how mean and nasty people have become.

I was at one of my favorite eateries the other day for happy hour, and I'm sitting at the bar, and these two older women start talking about going to see Sound Of Freedom. Right there was a red flag. But even worse, this older guy who was with them, who was mostly quiet, out of the blue shouts at the top of his lungs "INDIANA JONES IS WOKE GARBAGE! That's why everyone is going to see Sound Of Freedom!!!". Needless to say once the check came, I didn't stay for a second round.

[Elessar Zappa]

55. A lot of people that went to "The Sound of Freedom"

don’t know about it’s agenda. It doesn’t directly touch on Q-anon themes but the makers and actors are heavily into that conspiracy. My parents are good progressives and liked the movie, for instance. I told them after about it’s agenda but they didn’t detect it.

[Maraya1969]

41. I've decided my reply to one of them, should they say

Anything that resembles MAGATS is, “Why do you like to sidle up to tyrants?”

[Mad_Machine76]

42. Yeah.

We’ve all had to discover some hard truths about friends and loved ones we used to think better of.

[sellitman]

43. Yep. Did that with an old boss.

He said and I'm paraphrasing : " I love Trump. He takes care of my kind, He has my back as a white person"

That was it.

Banned his sorry ass so fast he didn't know what hit him.

[William769]

44. Actually thats the thing I like the most.

They are exposed much easier now.

[leftstreet]

53. +1

Probably a bit discomfort for people who may have always suspected the racism and misogyny among their acquaintances.

[Pototan]

51. I have 100 cousins

I hate the politics of 50 of them.

[Saoirse9]

54. Same

And quite a few are family members. My heart is broken.

[Orrex]

56. They always speak as if theirs is the correct default position

“They should go back to their shithole country,” says the Trumper.

“That’s kind of racist,” says the non-asshole.

“Hey, I’m just talking here,” fumes the Trumper. “Why you gotta make it all political?”