More Things You Have To Believe To Be A Republican Today: Finding Out
There's an old saying that goes "Fuck around and find out"..in a bit of irony, at least according to Quora, "It was originally a saying in pro 2nd amendment, libertarian and biker circles."
Two and a half years ago the Proud Boys and Trump fans (but I repeat myself) fucked around. And now they're finding out
So anyway, time for another of my sporadic compilations (No.64) of right wing cognitive dissonance and doublethink.
The Democrat vs GOP Pervert Tally
* Degenerate Perverts Unfit For Public Life: Cal Cunningham, John Conyers, Andrew Cuomo, John Edwards, Katie Hill, Elliot Spitzer, Anthony Wiener; Great Americans Who Believe In Family Values And Deserve A "Mulligan" or Two Or Three: Ali Alexander, Joe Barton, Shawn Bergstrand, John Bizon, Jayson Boebert, Lauren Boebert (UPDATED AGAIN!), Anthony Bouchard, Luke Bowen, Jared Micheal Boyce, Aaron Brink , David Byrd, Herman Cain, Scotty Campbell, Tucker Carlson, Madison Cawthorn, Lee Chatfield, Joshua Craft, Larry Craig, Chris DeJoseph, Steve DesJarlais, Tudor Dixon, Bobby Dyer, Joe Fain, Jerry Falwell Jr, Mark Foley, Matt Gaetz, Will Gardner, Ben Gibson, Newt Gingrich, Phil Godlewski , Marjorie Taylor Greene, Eric Greitens, Joe Gruters, Rudy Guiliani, Sean Hannity, Adam Hageman, Dennis Hastert, Rocky Hayes, Charles Herbster, Curtis Hill, Perry Hooper Jr., Duncan Hunter, Jeff Jansen, Daryl Johnson (NEW!), Alex Jones, Gym Jordan, Randy Gene Kaufman, Brett Kavanaugh, Bernard Kerik, Joel Koskan, Nathan Larson, Anton Lazzaro, Corey Lewandowski, Rush Limbaugh, Josh Mandell, Bud Marty May, Vance McAllister, Randy McNally, John Merrill, Roy Moore, Brad Namdar, Jonathan Newel, Kristi Noem, Bill O'Reilly, Carl Paladino, Frank Pavone, Charles Peruto, Dennis Prager (NEW!), Lawrence Ray, Tom Reed, Matthew Reilly (NEW!), Kevin Rinke, Rick Roeber, Chad Micheal Salsman, Bill Sanderson, Mark Sanford, George Santos, Matt Schlapp, Cameron Sexton, Alek Skarlatos, Melvin Slack, Bryan Slaton, Ken Starr(!!!), Kent Stermond, Sarah Stogner, Roger Stone, David Stringer, Charles Sutherland, Van Taylor, Clarence Thomas, David Todeschini, Donald Trump, Ruben Verastigui, David Vitter, Aaron von Ehlinger, Marty Decole Wagner (NEW!), Herschel Walker, and Steve Wynn (#32, Feb. 2018)
Reposts and Updates:
* You mistrust the Coronavirus vaccine (developed during the Trump Administration!) endorsed by the entire medical establishment, and instead trust horse dewormer, silver that turns your skin blue, eating dirt, injecting ozone up your ass, or literally drinking their own piss if they're endorsed by Fox News and a few cranks with Youtube channels. (#51, Oct 2021)
* Enslavement, lynchings, and segregation were "gifts" (#40, Sept 2019)
* Democrats are the ones voting fraudulently. (#50, Aug 2021)
All-New More Things You Have To Believe To Be A Republican Today:
* The best way to fight allegations of corruption is to make it harder to investigate your crimes.
* You keep decrying "cancel culture" while now wanting to cancel Disney, Target, and Chik-Fil-A.
* The Covid vaccine will kill everybody by May 23, 2023.
* No one is above the law unless he's deeply loved by the voters you're trying to convince to support you.
* Donald Trump convinced Saudi Arabia to cut oil production back when he was president, so it's Joe Biden's fault gas is more expensive than it should be.
* It's Joe Biden's fault that a bunch of billionaires died while joyriding to the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean.
Personally, I think it's hilarious that the company that did the expensive joyride is called OceanGate Expeditions. The "scandal" has named itself!!!
* Mount Rushmore is a demonic portal.
Well, yeah, sure. It has those RINOs Abe Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt on it, right? And no Donald Trump!!!
* You're offended by Buddhist imagery in a Chinese restaurant.
* To counter criticism that Republicans don't care about safety, you support proposals to allow roads to be made of radioactive waste.
I mean, if the roads glow in the dark, that means they're safer, right?
Verbatim from Mastodon:
* Selling a cake to a gay person is participating in the marriage, but selling a gun to a shooter isn't participating in a murder.
* Only people with children should vote.
* You show your July 4th patriotism by posting the Liberian flag.
* Newest threat to America: The Barbie Movie.
* Latest capital crime: Flying a rainbow flag.
* You worry about drag queen story hours "sexualizing children", but are fine with child beauty pageants.
* Antisemitism is clearly the fault of those who fight antisemitism.
* It's Chuck Schumer's fault that a Republican Senator is throwing a fit and preventing military promotions.
Until next time!
= new reply since forum marked as read
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