Zelensky Offers to Broker Peace Deal Between Kevin McCarthy and House Republicans
By Andy Borowitz
September 22, 2023
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling the conflict raging in the U.S. Capitol “a clear and present danger to the world,” Volodymyr Zelensky offered to broker a peace deal between Representative Kevin McCarthy and his fellow House Republicans.
The Ukrainian President warned that, if the fighting in Washington continued to escalate, it could spread to neighboring regions such as Maryland and Virginia.
“My message to the warring parties is simple: it is time to stop the madness,” he said.
More https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/zelensky-offers-to-broker-peace-deal-between-kevin-mccarthy-and-house-republicans
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I knew it would be Borowitz. 
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