Here is something that I didn't think I would say?

[imanamerican63]

My oldest sister(a Trumpster) has been a thorn in my side ever since I decided to buy a house and move my 87 year old mother in with me.

I wouldn’t have done this if I couldn’t find a fit for my mother due her mobility issues. The first issue my sister has with the arrangement is the stairs my mother has to go up and down. My sister wanted my mother to 170 miles from Omaha. My mother refuted that idea, 2nd issue & in that incident, my sister thought I should have bought a ranch style house. The cost was too much for my budget.

So, yesterday I took my mother to buy something she wanted and my sister found out! Now my sister is furious about that, because that is not what she thinks my mother needed. 3rd strike!

I am at the end of my rope with my sister! She has burned both ends and I’m done with her. I’m usually a patient person but she has done things to jeopardize my mother and others in our family. She’s my sister and always will be, but I no longer go out of way to help or give her any of my time.

I’m done letting her get under my skin! Thanks for letting me blow off steam.

[Deep State Witch]

1. I am so sorry

Family dynamics when it comes to aging parents are already difficult without adding in politics.

[MarineCombatEngineer]

2. I can relate to that,

my younger brother is a HUGH trumper, he hates me for being a Democrat and can't understand how a retired Marine can be such, needless to say, we haven't talked or even seen each other in over 7 years, which is fine by me.

[Wounded Bear]

7. This Marine always wonders how anybody could support trump...

[blm]

3. 🫶🏽

[NNadir]

4. I have a brother with whom I've not spoken in decades.

The issue was treatment of my parents, notably my father in the years after my mother's death, but there were other things as well.

There is and was a level at which I felt bad about cutting him off entirely as if he were dead (which he may be - I wouldn't know) but it is what had to be done.

I've come to live fine with it.

Hopefully you will do the same.

Good luck to you.

[niyad]

6. Welcome to our DU family.

[617Blue]

9. I have cut toxic family members completely out of my life

It's your life, do not put up with toxic people. I realize it's hard but you either go dark on this person just live with it.

[AmBlue]

10. Siblings who aren't doing the hard work....

...need to back off the criticism and let YOU do the hard work. Support and appreciation from them (her) would go a long way and that seems painfully obvious. But it's so often absent in these situations.

I've been in your shoes exactly and had to go radio-silent with my sister for over a year to protect my sanity while I did ALL the hard work.

My mom passed last year after 11 yrs fighting leukemia and dementia, and my sister and I are on good terms again. Do whatever you have to do to lower the temperature and protect your mental health. It will benefit everyone.

[SouthernDem4ever]

11. As far as the stairs issue goes

We moved my mother in when she was 95 and had a chairlift installed on the stairs. If you or your mom has the resources, they aren't usually unaffordable.

[SpamWyzer]

12. I have learned

from my 90 year old mother that the elderly are not incapable of feeling the same way they have always felt about things, tend to see themselves as younger and more competent than their offspring acknowledge and enjoy as much of their independence as they can hold on to. Sounds like you are doing a great job with her.
(Sister is not the person who is giving day to day care. I believe she is a "contrary" person, someone who values their own opinion more than that of the others with whom they are involved. She also seems to be avidly seeking fault, so as to be able to claim she is smarter, etc. Narcissism is quite common these days in the culture.) Give the love you have for your mother to she whom it pertains.
Peace.

[ripcord]

13. Remember to take care of yourself while taking care of your mother

I did home hospice with my mother and learned it is easy to forget that you have to take care of yourself to be able to care for her.

[Old Crank]

14. Family

You can't live with them and you can't live without them.

[Arthur_Frain]

15. I'm currently visiting my parents in CA.

Mom claims she hates tfg, but will never vote for a dem ever, hates Newsome, can’t look or listen to the tv if Biden comes on.

Sadly the RW propaganda machine is frighteningly good at its job. They can’t actually make you go out and do something that is antithetical to your nature, but given the appropriate set of stressors and influence, they can accurately predict how you will respond a frightening percentage of the time.

That’s exactly what all the RW media outlets do, is introduce/promulgate these stressors.

Sadly I go to visit pops starting Saturday, and that’s going to be worse. I’m going to have to find a dispensary and just keep a constant stream of edibles ingested.

[Warpy]

16. Stairs aen't always a deal breaker

Stair lifts, that feature a seat that can flip out of the way when not in use have kept a lot of older folks in their homes instead of nursing homes. As your mom's mobility declines to the point she needs a wheel chair for long distances, you can install a temporary ramp over the front steps. There are work arounds for multi level houses. What I hope you realized you need is a toilet on both the ground and second floors.

Sorry big sis is an interfering control freak. At least she doesn't live close by.

[flying_wahini]

17. Don't answer her calls.

It’s guilt; eating her alive. She wants to be a part of her day to day and can’t (or won’t) be.