Our neighbor down the street committed

[MOMFUDSKI]

suicide at 5:30 this morning. Husband went out to pick trash and another neighbor told him about it. He came back home and I asked him why he was only gone for a short while. Said he was too upset and then told me why. Early sixties and newly retired with a wife. My husband is the kind of guy, had he known, that would have spent a lot of time and effort to help. Suicide is horrible and final. He really liked Mike.

[livetohike]

1. My sympathy to you, your husband and neighbors.

May he rest in peace .

[Upthevibe]

2. MOMFUDSKI............

I'm so very sorry to hear about this....

[SoFlaBro]

49. +1 Moms fudsy. I'm sorry about this.

[yagotme]

3. "Newly retired".

Lot of people can't handle a big change. Retirement is a big one. Going from a busy life, to just sitting around, can be depressive. One needs to cultivate hobbies that don't revolve around your job. Gives the mind and body something to do other than stare at 4 walls all day.

[Freddie]

6. Happened to my mom

She was an elementary teacher and suddenly had no reason to wake up in the morning. She spent years in a very serious depression and eventually found a medication that helped. People can have trouble adjusting to even happy changes in life.

[yagotme]

7. Yup. Hope she is doing better. nt

[SunSeeker]

30. I'll never understand that. Retirement was the happiest day of my life.

Every day is a Saturday! I worked my whole adult life for this, to be able to sleep as long as I like, and do whatever I want with my day. All I can figure is those folks had no interests outside of their job, which is hard to fathom.

[Freddie]

42. Mom had depression tendencies long before she retired

Retirement just made it 10x worse. This was in her late 50s and early 60s, fortunately with medication and counseling she was able to enjoy life again and passed of a stroke at 84.

[BobTheSubgenius]

57. You and me both!

From the time I was a child - say 10 or so - all I ever really wanted to be was retired. I worked for it, I planned for it, and invested for it. One of the main things I did was make sure I was convinced of the value of time over *things*. A new car every other year, or Hawaiian vacations meant (and still mean) nothing to me, compared to waking up on a given morning and deciding then what I wanted to do with my day.

I went to school with a lot of kids who had rich parents, and at our 20th grad reunion, almost all I heard was how their family's construction company built a large portion of a major highway here in BC, and stories such as that. I told one guy I'd known quite well in school that his main life achievement was outliving his parents. Adoptive parents, at that. After about 2 hours, I realized that not ONE of the people I'd talked to was enjoying their life as much as I was enjoying mine.

I turned 71 in August, and I retired in the late 80s. Next May, I will have been retired for half my life. Best decision I ever made.

[kimbutgar]

12. M husbands talking retirement now and he's only 63

I fear he’ll be sitting on his butt watching tv and looking on the internet all day. For a few weeks it’s ok and then gets boring. I work part time substitute teaching and being a senior move manager. I can work 1 day or 5. I told him if he retires I’m going to work full time so as I don’t have to see him sit around doing nothing all day and I’ll still have to come home and cook dinner and wash dishes after working all day.

[yagotme]

14. I retired at 50. Wife and I had plans.

Sometimes, life happens. We've been raising our 2 g-dau's for the last almost 12 years now. Thankfully, I have hobbies that I participated in while working, and continued on after retirement. Didn't want to be one of those "house-sitters".

[Crowman2009]

25. It's always best to have a plan. Although work right now is getting in the way of them.

I really would rather spend time reading this pile of books I have, get involved with voting drives & activism, fix up the house, go into further detail with cleaning up the house, and if I have time...watch movies. I will watch tv on occasion, but only if it involves movies or certain tv shows. Never want to wind up channel flicking all day, or worse yet watch cable news.

[yagotme]

28. Most of the time I spend here is on "down time".

We watch the neighbor's Great Dane a couple times a week (she's a nurse, with a really odd work schedule), and he doesn't get along real well with our male GD, so we keep him in a separate part of the house. The one with the computer. So, when he's not outside, or needing "attention" I come here and try to catch up.

[Attilatheblond]

15. My grandmother worked after her 5 kids were grown. Retired and then went back to work

after my grandfather retired. He asked why she was going back to work. Her response: "I married you for better or for worst, but not for lunch".

[kimbutgar]

16. That's kind of how I feel

I’m 67 and stopped working full time in at end of 2013. Then started these part time jobs. I was only home a month before I got stir crazy and went back to work part time.

[Farmer-Rick]

21. I retired at 45

And began farming. My kids were still in school so they were very busy days.

One month of retirement was enough. I still farm even though I'm well past retirement age and my kids have moved out.

So retirement has different meanings for different people.

[pazzyanne]

46. I retired at 68.

Spent time house shopping for a retirement home. Moved into the new house and slowly drove myself crazy for the next two months because I didn't have a schedule. Got a part time job that turned from 20 hours a week into 30 hours a week, and gave me a lot of control over my hours. I once again was a "happy camper". Hobbies weren't enough to keep me motivated!

[Tree Lady]

33. My husband is like that

Has been for years. When he first retired he worked part time then after we moved here 6 1/2 yrs ago just stopped. We both love where we live so it's not that or the home. Who knows? I tried to get him to take senior classes like me but he would quit them. I finally gave up and just live my life with lots of classes , activities, new friends. Thank god we have the dog! He takes him for walks daily and will talk to people at dog parks.

[Freddie]

43. I tried to retire

Decided I’d keep busy watching my little granddaughter all day. Then my ex-work called and desperately needed help, told them fine as long as I could do it mostly from home. Been doing that “temp job” for 5 years now. Pretty soon my granddaughter will be in school all day. My ex-job finally hired someone to do the work, I trained her for 6 months and she just gave notice. I actually want to retire.

[MOMFUDSKI]

17. That is what I was thinking.

My dad got real depressed after retirement.

[yagotme]

20. Large societal/psychological change.

One must mentally prepare prior to taking such a large change. Some people wait UNTIL the change, to try to cope. As I have said, I attempted to adjust myself mentally to retirement before the event. And it was a BIG change, for me. I was working a TON of overtime, for almost 5 years. Not answering an alarm clock was sheer heaven for the first couple weeks.

[lame54]

22. If you own a house...

There is ALWAYS something to work on

It's a built in hobby

[yagotme]

23. Some, more than others...

[Dave says]

24. I had a 100 year old house

It was too much, I couldn’t keep up with it. Now I’m in a 68 year old house. Still lots for me to do.

[yagotme]

26. 100+ here. ALWAYS something... nt

[Dave says]

40. The saying goes, "The only thing...

…that works is the owner”.

(Or something like that.)

[yagotme]

41. Yup. nt

[tavernier]

29. 77 and still working

My friends call me Cher because I just can’t face retirement. Having too much fun working. But I work as a sub so I can turn down work if I’ve planned a trip or some other fun adventure. And my job is pretty physical so I don’t need to go to the gym or zumba class etc. and they pay me. 😂

[yagotme]

31. After all the OT I worked, sometimes I FEEL like I worked to that age...

[Polybius]

38. Yes, and there are signs to look for

Hard workers, extroverts, and those who lack hobbies and hate sitting around the house.

Me? I'm the total opposite. I never wanted to work, and only do so to pay the bills. I wanted to retire at 20, and on my days off I can spend 12 hours online without being bored. I also have tons of hobbies, like collecting computers, baseball, photography, YouTube, etc. I love being home, but do go out with friends twice a month or so.

[yagotme]

39. Yup. Good warning signs. nt

[Diamond_Dog]

4. I'm so sorry. What a way to begin the new year.

[MLAA]

5. Heartbreaking.

[niyad]

8. I am so very sorry to hear this. What a shocking way to start one's day.

[twodogsbarking]

9. Sorry to hear. We can all learn more about mental health. Help is out there. Go for it if you need it. Please.

[pandr32]

10. How sad for your neighborhood.

So many of us have lived through similar. Some say there are signs, but it seems so easy to miss them if they are there.

[COL Mustard]

11. And sometimes there aren't any signs

Some people just keep things inside until they simply can’t deal with it anymore, and then they take that final step. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

So sorry for your husband and for your neighbor and his family.

[SharonAnn]

45. Yes, last a friend committed suicide. He was a retired policemen who worked for

more than 20 years on a task force dealing with child sexual molestation and trafficking crimes. Pornography videos, national and international. Some really awful stuff.

We live in a senior center and one day he just didn’t show up for dinner or evening poker.

He had bought a gun the month before and used it around lunchtime, apparently. It shocked us all to the core.

[COL Mustard]

56. I'm sorry for your loss

Your community suffered a loss and even those who didn’t know him have had a loss. So sad.

[RussBLib]

13. I'm guessing he used a gun

....guns make it infinitely easier to commit suicide. All it takes is just a second. And if done "right" there is no chance of being resuscitated.

But I guess it's everyone's right to commit suicide by gun.

[MOMFUDSKI]

18. Yes

It was a gun.

[TexasBushwhacker]

35. And that's why I will never own one

Owning a firearm can make the difference between having a rotten day (week, month, year) and a tragedy.

[Tree Lady]

36. It's a method that is impossible

For the person finding you to unsee. I have a friend who came home from teaching yoga her second part time job and found her husband. Year and half later she is still struggling even with counseling, friends family supporting her. She is only in her late 30's. Lately taking flying lessons has been helping her a lot. She is a top IT person at Disney. She barely kept job but doing well now.

[MOMFUDSKI]

19. Thanks for all of your

kind comments.

[spooky3]

27. Condolences to all who have experienced losses like this. Nt

[debm55]

32. Sorry for Mike and his wife and all of the neighbors including you and your husband May his memories be a blessin to

you all.

[IbogaProject]

34. ugh

I was switched to a new insulin 7 years ago, and within a week or two I was feeling suicidal. It was weir, as I usually don't get that depressed. I am glad I googled the one change that med and suicide and it came up as a rare side effect in 50-69 year old men. I was almost 48 then but I have it in my medical chart as a lethal allergy and medic-alert knows too. Always keep an eye on any medicine changes for several months. The insulin is Levomir a second generation long acting one, I'd have liked a smoother curve of action but that side effect was too much for me.

[MOMFUDSKI]

37. Wow.

Never heard of that. I take Novolog and used to take Humalog. Glad you got straightened away.

[Duncanpup]

44. So sad

[Demovictory9]

47. Oh so sad

[SouthernDem4ever]

48. All this talk of going stir crazy after retirement has me baffled

I am finally retired and don't have enough hours in the day - doesn't matter if I'm bored or busy. I can't remember how I did it all when while still working 50 hours a week. Maybe this is a sign of my mental decline but it works for me.

[pfitz59]

50. Sorry to hear this

I knew a few folks who took the easy way out. Life is full of challenges. People get tired of the battle.

[MaryMagdaline]

51. Terrible shock

Some people commit suicide to allow family to get life insurance. In most states, the policy will pay out after two years. Perhaps he was worried that there was not enough money to live on (a common problem of our generation) and he felt he was “helping” his family by taking his own life.

My condolences to you and your friend’s family. It’s a hopeless feeling to realize that you or your husband could have helped, but just didn’t know.

[Voltaire2]

52. I support an individual's right to terminate their life. nt.

[marble falls]

53. I am so sorry for Mike's wife, I am sorry for your husband and his friend and I am sorry for your pain for having to ...

... to be part of it all.

These are difficult times, and it is hard for some of us to know how to fit in. Your kind heart and empathy is gold in times like you and your husband are dealing with. I pray the sadness diminishes as good memories remain.

[Irish_Dem]

54. Retired males a high risk group.

Don't adapt to retirement as well as women do.

[sellitman]

55. I had a co-worker take his own life.

To this day, it shocks me. I still can't understand it. Probably never will.

Sorry to hear of another tragedy.