My friend

[I_UndergroundPanther]

Who I have known a good while came out that they are transgendered. He has been closeted for years due to family and an abusive relationship. He's so happy.

It warms my heart that they have chosen to become himself.

Maryland isnt a transbigot state.We can get gender affirming care here.I do.

I told him I would be there for him every step of the way. Since I have transitioned and had the hormones, surgeries ect.except for the bottom, I told her I would answer questions and help the best I can.

I am so proud of him.

[Quakerfriend]

1. You are a dear friend UP. I'm glad he has you

& that MD is a sane state.

I hope you and Otello (? spelling) are staying cozy on this stormy night.

[I_UndergroundPanther]

2. Othello is sitting

By me on the arm of the couch.So cute how hes tucking his tail under his butt makes him look like a manx.
He turned around just after I typed that. Seems cats can not only read your thoughts ,they can see what you are typing without a device while facing in the opposite direction!!

[Quakerfriend]

3. 😂. He is such a gorgeous guy!

[Eko]

4. Proud of you for helping them.

My nephew came out not too long ago.
Keep on keeponing!
Eko.

[Skittles]

5. and we are proud of you

[SleeplessinSoCal]

6. I'm sorry.

But this plural identification I think is fine for the person/s experiencing a dual personage. But must we all reference a single person as they/them and expect to not go insane?

[Ms. Toad]

7. Just like names, pronouns are personal.

You need to use the pronoun the person uses for themself.

If you can't wrap your head around it, don't use pronouns - use their name every time you wan to reference them.

Notice that in both sentencs I used a form of the pronoun they - in the way that you have likely used it all of your life. It is not a new thing.

[SleeplessinSoCal]

8. Should this apply to those who are bipolar?

I don't think this will be around over time. It demands so much of the person not identifying as plural.

[Ms. Toad]

9. It is disrespectful to refuse to use the pronouns a person asks you to use for them.

Pronouns are part of gender identity, and refusing to accept the gender identity of someone is not appropriate here, per EarlG.

https://www.democraticunderground.com/101312142

And the mental health of an individual does not change the obligation to refer to them by the name, gender, and pronouns they use.

[SleeplessinSoCal]

10. The only person I would be disrespectful of

is Eddie Izzard. I won't talk to Eddie. Or if I do, I'm feigning ignorance.

[Ms. Toad]

11. That is not true, since you are suggesting not using "they"

for people who use that pronoun because ot offends your sense of grammar. That is disrespectful - and trans-hostile.

[SleeplessinSoCal]

12. I'm not making my point clearly.

This is something that I, as a liberal woman, find to be a burden. And if I do, imagine the anti-trans voter.

I've always resented the usurping of the word "gay". So, I have issues I would never admit to my many gay friends. I'm just being honest. My favorite policy.

[Ms. Toad]

13. You are making your point perfectly clearly.

You seem to be ignoring my point.

DU is not the place to express your concern about using a person's pronouns, your concerns about trans women in sports, etc. LGBTQ individuals are under attack and are being thrown under the bus by people who believe it is not the right time for us to be treated respectfully because it might hurt our political chances. Review the post I linked to from EarlG, who finally put his foot down about trans-hostility on DU.

[Ms. Toad]

15. I am hostile to trans-hostility on DU.

It is a battle I have been fighting for decades, both on and off DU. EarlG finally made it explicitly clear that trans-hostility is not welcome here (after at least a decade of many of us requesting that the TOS be modified to expressly forbid hostility toward LGBTQ individuals - in a post I linked to for you.

Yet, in a thread started by a transgender person, discussing a transgender friend of theirs who uses the pronouns they/their you chose to make it about how inconvenient it was for you to learn and use those pronouns.

[TwilightZone]

17. It's not about you.

Using someone's preferred name and pronouns should be simple common courtesy.

[Kali]

16. ...