More Things You Have To Believe To Be A Republican Today: Peace Through Non-Incumpenentguu

[Fritz67]

Peace Through Non-Incumpenentguu

Yeah, not all that much worse than anything else he's ever said. You know things are going bad for The Orange Antichrist when he's getting so senile and demented, and Joe Biden's economy is doing so well, that the "liberal" media is actually starting to report on Trump being incoherent and the economy doing well. They're reporting those things grudgingly, of course, because the news guys want their horse race and their bosses want more big dumb tax cuts, but it may be starting to seep in.

So howsabout we go down Route 66* for a look at the latest in MAGA Doublethink?

*-Because it's the 66th installment of this irregular series, of course!

The Evergrowing But Only On One Side Democrat vs GOP Pervert Tally

* Degenerate Perverts Unfit For Public Life: Cal Cunningham, John Conyers, Andrew Cuomo, John Edwards, Katie Hill, Elliot Spitzer, Anthony Wiener; Great Americans Who Believe In Family Values And Deserve A "Mulligan" or Two Or Three: Ali Alexander, Tim Ballard ., Joe Barton, Brad Benson (NEW!), Shawn Bergstrand, Mike Bickle ., John Bizon, Lauren Boebert, Anthony Bouchard, Luke Bowen, Jared Micheal Boyce, Aaron Brink , David Byrd, Herman Cain, Scotty Campbell, Tucker Carlson, Madison Cawthorn, Lee Chatfield, Joshua Craft, Larry Craig, Chris DeJoseph, Steve DesJarlais, Tudor Dixon, Jeff Duncan, Bobby Dyer, Joe Fain, Jerry Falwell Jr and the entire staff of Liberty University, Phillip Fisher Jr. (NEW!), Mark Foley, Trent Franks .,Matt Gaetz, Will Gardner, Ben Gibson, Newt Gingrich, Phil Godlewski , Marjorie Taylor Greene, Eric Greitens, Joe Gruters, Rudy Guiliani, Adam Hageman, Sean Hannity, Gabrielle Hanson ., Dennis Hastert, Rocky Hayes, Charles Herbster, Curtis Hill, Perry Hooper Jr., Duncan Hunter, Jeff Jansen, Daryl Johnson , Alex Jones, Gym Jordan, Randy Gene Kaufman, Brett Kavanaugh, Bernard Kerik, Joel Koskan, Nathan Larson, Anton Lazzaro, Corey Lewandowski, Rush Limbaugh, Nancy Mace (NEW!), Josh Mandell, Bud Marty May, Vance McAllister, Randy McNally, John Merrill, Jason Miller (NEW!), Roy Moore, Brad Namdar, Walt Nauta (NEW!), Jonathan Newel, Kristi Noem, Bill O'Reilly, Carl Paladino, Frank Pavone, Charles Peruto, Dennis Prager , Lawrence Ray, Tom Reed, Matthew Reilly , Kevin Rinke, Rick Roeber, Chad Micheal Salsman, Bill Sanderson, Mark Sanford, George Santos, Matt Schlapp , Cameron Sexton, Alek Skarlatos, Melvin Slack, Bryan Slaton, Ken Starr(!!!), Kent Stermond, Sarah Stogner, Roger Stone, David Stringer, Charles Sutherland, Van Taylor, Clarence Thomas, David Todeschini, Donald Trump, Ruben Verastigui, David Vitter, Aaron von Ehlinger, Marty Decole Wagner , Herschel Walker, Jesse Watters (NEW!), Steve Wynn, Christian and Bridget Ziegler (NEW!) (#32, Feb. 2018)

Reposts and Updates:

Well, Democrats did quite well in the 2023 offyear elections. You know what tthat means...
* "There is a mandate" = Republicans won the last election, no matter how small the vote margin (or even if they didn't actually get the most votes). "Be bipartisan and don't overreach" = Democrats won the last election, no matter how large the vote margin. (#18, April 2015)

I thought about this one on Veterans Day when somebody posted something under Trump's name (I don't think it was actually him because there weren't enough all-caps words and he didn't call veterans "losers and suckers")

* Bill Clinton was a draft dodger for not serving in Vietnam. But it was okay for John Bolton, Pat Buchanan, George W. and Jeb Bush, Dick Cheney, Tom Delay, Newt Gingrich, Rush Limbaugh, Dan Quayle, Willard Mitt Romney, Tom Tancredo, Clarence Thomas, and Donald Trump to not go. (#1, November 2010)

And of course, the recent release of more Jeffrey Epstein documents reminds us...

* Relevant: Jeffrey Epstein hung out with Bill Clinton a few times. Irrelevant: Jeffrey Epstein's twenty-year friendship with Donald Trump (#40, Sept 2019)

* Antifa attacked the US Capitol to overthrow an election that they won, which is why Trump wants to pardon them. (#50, Aug 2021)

* Jay Ashcroft, George HW Bush, George W Bush, Jeb Bush, Peter Doocy, Jerry Falwell Jr, Steve Forbes, Matt Gaetz, Connie Mack IV, Meghan McCain, Rand Paul, Willard Mitt Rmoney, Sarah Sanders, and Donald Trump are all self-made people and don't owe their success to anyone else's prior accomplishments. (#10, Nov. 2012)

All-New More Things You Have To Believe To Be A Republican Today:

* While Republicans have spent the last few decades complaining about "absent fathers", when men actually spend time with their children Republicans think it's bad.

* Shortages of food and toilet paper and the most significant single-quarter contraction in over 70 years = "the greatest economy in our history" . Three years of solid job growth and an unemployment rate of 3.7%: Things are terrible and need to be "fixed".
Just another entry in the "And they think Joe Biden is the mentally addled one?" list

* It's a completely normal and healthy thing to mourn the death of your sister by whining on social media about being held to account for your many crimes.

* Teenagers always do what their parents tell them to.

* Your birth name is Rafael Edward, but prefer to go by "Ted". You want to make it illegal for people to use "preferred" names.

* You complain about Biden supposedly "weaponizing" the Department of Justice, the FBI, and the CIA, while simultaneously demanding the Department of Justice investigate a newspaper for writing a column critical of Donald Trump's totalitarian tendencies.

* Republican politicians don't have to obey Congressional subpoenas, but the children of Democratic politicians do.

* Not only is Santa Claus white, he also insists on whole milk.

* THE OPEN BORDER IS THE GREATEST CRISIS THAT HAS EVER FACED AMERICA!!! But it's not important enough to do anything about it if it means Joe Biden and Democrats could take any credit for it.

* Murdered schoolchildren are something you should "get over" in a few days, as opposed to seething with rage three years later over an election you lost.

* You support book banning except when YOUR books get banned.

* The presidential candidate who's been indicted four times, found liable of sexual assault, stole classified documents and (probably) sold them to Russia, and tried to overthrow our government is the candidate of law and order.

* Recovering a half billion dollars from rich tax cheats is bad.

* Democrats are pedophiles and Republicans protect children from pedophiles.
Just a sample: Here is the data from the latest 6375 cases, as of Jan 15, 2024 .
Religious Employment: 536 Transgender: 4 Drag Queen: 0

* Aborting a fetus even when it's going to be brain dead and/or kill the woman carrying it is still murder. Shooting immigrants coming across the border and killing them is not.

Until next time!

[Hugin]

1. Wow, this is quite the post!

I’m going to have to bookmark it for study. You know, some of us can’t read silently without moving our lips!

Nice work! Thanks.

[niyad]

2. KNR and bookmarking for later, when I can drink in order to read this.

[redqueen]

3. K&R

Anyone still identifying with the GQP is either in on the con or a mark.

[erronis]

6. Plenty of repuglicons who are marks because they are pwned.

I can imagine a large # got ensnared by blackmail and threats. Who would ever do this? Could it be the NY mobster with help from the wannabe Soviet President? Throw in some happy US capitalist libertarians.

[CrispyQ]

4. Republicans are the biggest fucking cry-baby, hypocrites ever.

So sad that I have family & acquaintances who still identify with this heinous party. What the fuck?

[Prof. Toru Tanaka]

5. Donald Trump- the only human being who can

talk non-stop gibberish, play the air accordion and shit his pants at the same time.

[erronis]

7. And have a bunch of dimwits cheering him on and sending him their money.

Wish social darwinism would kick in much more quickly!

[et tu]

8. sorry but he

can't play the accordion any more-
his man boobs get in the way~

[Emile]

9. That's so funny 😂

[sagetea]

10. Awesome! n/t

[LiberalLovinLug]

11. Great work.

[Fritz67]

12. Bonus Item:

I really should have updated this one for this list, but it'll be on the next one and here it is now:

* Celebrities like Taylor Swift should know their place and not get involved in political discussions. Exceptions: Gene Simmons, Ted Nugent, Kid Rock, Victoria Jackson, Dennis Miller, Scott Baio, Chuck Norris, Chuck Woolery, Diamond&Silk, Ronald Reagan, and Donald Trump. (#45, Oct. 2020)