"OK. For every bro who has EVER taken issue with the term MANSPLAINING. Bros. Here it is."

[redqueen]

Link to tweet

OK. For every bro who has EVER taken issue with the term MANSPLAINING. Bros. Here it is. 100% right here. He makes my blood boil. She calmly gives this guy rope and he just keeps hanging himself.

Like most mansplainers, he'll never know how MADDENINGLY FRUSTRATING he is.

Here's the video from the tweet:

?si=FsT4QyQFgwXbYo14

[AZLD4Candidate]

1. I get -splained by both men and women constantly.

So the answer is to not be helpful and not care about anyone anymore.

Don't hold doors, don't help, don't do anything.

Screw people.

[CrispyQ]

5. From recent articles I've read, more & more Americans feel the same & it's especially prevalent with young people. -nt

[MorbidButterflyTat]

12. How does not holding doors for anyone

keep you from getting --'splained?

[AZLD4Candidate]

13. "I don't need any man to hold a door for me." Been told that alot

[meadowlander]

16. That's not splaining. It's someone asserting their boundaries.

It's just creepy to size up strangers by their assumed genitals and then decide if they are strong enough to open or hold a door for themselves or not. If you want to be polite, hold the door open for everyone. If you don't care, don't. But making it a gendered thing is sexist and a lot of women are fed up with it quite reasonably and have been since the 1960s. It's hardly a Gen Z thing.

Mansplaining is when a man takes it upon himself to school a woman who knows more about the topic than he does just because he assumes that he must have more expertise in everything. The same thing happens to other minorities when their own lived experience is explained to them by members of the majority who are just used to having the privilege of explaining things.

Womansplaining isn't really a thing for that reason and even if it was, just asking someone not to assume you're not strong enough to hold a door still wouldn't be it.

[AZLD4Candidate]

36. it's called being nice. i know it's not common today.

[meadowlander]

49. If you want to be nice, hold the door open for everyone.

That's not what a man is doing when he holds doors selectively for women (and from my own experience is selective even there and only holds doors open for women that he finds sufficiently attractive).

[AZLD4Candidate]

57. i used to. i got it from both sexes, but more from females.

[MorbidButterflyTat]

82. Men have said this to you?

"'I don't need any man to hold a door for me.' Been told that alot"

It's sad to me that you allow others to dictate how you behave. Most times I hold doors for others; and others hold doors for me. There's no agenda that I'm aware of, and it costs nothing to be a decent human being.

[AZLD4Candidate]

113. No. men have questioned my heterosexuality when i held a door open for them

wth is wrong with you people? is cyber bullying this easy?

[obamanut2012]

212. So, did they mansplain opening doors for people?

[yardwork]

150. Agreed. I'm a woman in my mid-60s, I hold doors for everyone, and I've never once gotten a negative response.

There are rude people everywhere but I've found that most people are not rude to strangers without provocation. Those who are, I steer clear and don't take them as exemplars.

[spooky3]

175. Ditto, though some people sail through without a "thanks"

Or even a pleasant glance.

[herding cats]

125. Ouch.

I was just reading this and I think this is where you truly stepped in it.

Why do some guys have to make this so weird? Not saying you are, but it has become a point of contention for a lot of men for some reason. We need to have conversations and discuss and examine this.

I held the door open for a woman and her wee little one Tuesday and I got was a gracious thanks. I had to run, then twist myself to make it happen, but she needed some assistance. I saw people who had left her struggling as they entered. It was a crush moment for seating and people are assholes, I guess. I just wanted to help them escape to their vehicle.

For the record I'm a female and I also had an older (7-year old) female little with me. I just helped her because she obviously was in need. This is how you be kind and not make it weird.

If people need help, you help them. If people don't need help, you let them be. I feel this is how it works.

Oh, and never let a door slam on someone. That's just painfully rude. I turn into an Olympian when it comes to inserting myself between a closing door and a politely waiting person.

I'm not trashing you at all, just pointing out some rules I live by, and hoping they help.

I have tons of tales of me helping out guys who needed assistance, too. They're just not as recent as last week.

Be kind because other people matter and they might need your help. That's what this should all be about.

[AZLD4Candidate]

127. when you spend fifty years doing nothing but demonizing, harping "stranger danger,"

reinforcing in circles that men are "all" and "all" men have "hidden agendas," what I've received in easy.

When people go from being people to group objects, it's easy to think this way.

We yell at conservatives for doing it, but it does happen in our own political area.

I've read here "it's always men." Something bad happens. . .it's men. That wide brush makes it impossible for men that aren't douchebags to do anything because non-douchebag men are lumped into the same category and always need to prove themselves.

We hear it with police (and I am no defender of the badge at all). ACAB.

We've become a country of preconceived stereotypes and when one is challenged, the challenger is either marginalized, shouted down, or bullied into submission.

We've reverted to the schoolyard.

[meadowlander]

192. Who is the "you" in your first sentence

and are you self-aware enough to see why that's hilarious in light of the rest of your post?

Women spend a lot of their lives fending off creeps. Nobody is saying all men are creeps. But women develop a radar for creepy behavior and it includes men who impose unsolicited favors on women to get them to feel indebted to them so they can leverage that to start getting what they want.

If you don't want women to think you're a creep instead of imposing your "help" on them, ask them if you can help them first and (this is key) actually listen to and respect their answer.

If all this guy had done was ask if he could offer some swing advice and then immediately backed off when she clearly told him she didn't need it then it wouldn't be mansplaining. The fact that he persisted three times after she made it clear she didn't want or need help is the problem. That's showing a fundamental lack of respect for other peoples' boundaries dressed up passive aggressively as "I was just trying to be helpful!"

[betsuni]

194. #NotAllMen revival.

[AZLD4Candidate]

195. "you" is society in general.

All I can say is I am glad I am married and don't try to date these days. I'd be assumed a "creep" at first glance and work over time to prove a negative.

And I am sure I will get the "I feel bad for your wife" comment now from someone who wouldn't know me if they tripped over me.

[Tree-Hugger]

204. So what is your point in this thread?

Have you watched the video yet? You stated previously that you never even watched the video. Are you actually interested in learning why women feel that they are often dismissed and then mansplained? So far, you've talked about holding doors, never holding doors again, "females," not feeling dateable, and being a nice guy, but you haven't mentioned if you watched this particular video yet. It's been kindly explained over and over why the man's behavior was problematic and how it reflects a larger societal problem in which women are often dismissed and seen as helpless no matter their expertise. How is that linked to opening doors and the way "females" would find you "creepy" (quoting you...this isn't my judgment for anyone who may want to alert) if you were still on the dating scene?

[obamanut2012]

211. The only men considered to be creeps by women are creeps and creepy "nice guys"

If men and boys aren't creeps to women and girls, they won't be considered creeps.

Just like people who say people just call them racists because they are white. Nah.

[obamanut2012]

134. Women, not females

[betsuni]

137. Calling women "females" is a dead giveaway.

[obamanut2012]

161. 100% this

Notice he never responded to my correction.

[Tree-Hugger]

172. It sure is

There's a lot of dead giveaway happening in this comment chain.

[Eliot Rosewater]

220. And the problem is there is zero learning going on for this person, only arguing louder

when anyone tries to respond.

[Oopsie Daisy]

173. "Here, Little-Lady! Lemme help you with that! Come on through! There ya go!"

There are many ways to be helpful and show common courtesy and an equal number (actually, probably more) to be condescending while believing that one is being "courteous" or helpful.

[meadowlander]

188. Straight out of the "but I'm a nice guy" playbook.

[betsuni]

197. Which is really creepy.

[Oopsie Daisy]

198. What's the opposite of virtue-signaling?

[akbacchus_BC]

77. You nailed it. I am a woman of colour and many times a White guy will hold the door for a White female and let it go as

am about to go through. It's rude but those kinds of guys are unaware of their behavior as they have an agenda like you rightly say.

[AZLD4Candidate]

121. I can honestly say I've never done that. It's called not doing to other things you do hot want others to do to you

I don't want others to do that to me so I won't do that to the others.

Have we become so cynical as a people that simple acts of kindness are now looked at as having an agenda?

It's no wonder few do it. In China no one does it because "it's none of your business."

[yardwork]

151. I'm so sorry that happens to you.

I believe you. As a white woman, I've witnessed attempts to serve me before the Black people who are ahead of me in line, and other egregious forms of racism.

[AwakeAtLast]

64. Do you actually think this man was being nice?

It takes a lot of chutzpah to do what this guy did. It crossed over into being creepy.

[AZLD4Candidate]

72. didn't watch. don't watch. all i know is to not help or try to help.

it's why i don't stop people from doing things that i know will hurt them at the gym. being a former cpt, i know form means alot.

i tried to help so people don't hurt themselves, but would get yelled at. so now i just wait for them to hurt themselves then walk away and not care.

I'm sure this guy was an asshole, but not everyone who tries is. some of us are actually sincere.

[Walleye]

99. I had to think about Samuel L Jackson line in Pulp Fiction

“I don’t recall asking you a gotdamn thing”

[EX500rider]

100. or the bumper sticker I have seen: "When I want your advice I'll beat it out of you"

[Walleye]

102. There used to be a sign where I worked and that said, "when I want any shit from you,I'll kick it out of you"

[AZLD4Candidate]

114. violence is always the answer.

[AZLD4Candidate]

115. violence is always the answer.

[AZLD4Candidate]

116. which is the reason i've pretty much told humanity to go to hell.

yet people complain that no one cares about anyone anymore and that americans have lost that sense of community.

look at the responses i have received in this thread. aggressive. violent. angry. and borderline bullying.

[obamanut2012]

210. Because you are mansplaining what mansplaining is

And, you aren't even correct in what it is nor did you watch the video talking about it. Mansplaining is entrenched misogyny and entitlement, yet you are dismissing it. Even though you have no idea what it is.

Plus, come on, man. Your whole door opening thing and women is... come on, man. Hold up a mirror.

[Eliot Rosewater]

222. I sincerely dont know about anyone else, but the posts I look forward to the most on message

boards are the ones that say I am mistaken or wrong on something.

I love to read them to see if there is a chance to learn something. I usually do learn something.

[Eliot Rosewater]

221. Didnt even watch the video, he admits. Wow...

[mopinko]

142. u might want to watch it.

[yardwork]

152. Well, you high jacked this thread to make it all about you.

You haven't even seen the video?!

[kcr]

206. Didn't watch the video

Yet you are sure that the point of posting this video was to declare all helpful people are assholes. Ok, then.

[RandomNumbers]

147. If a man holds the door for a woman in a way that suggests he's doing it BECAUSE she's a woman

that's inappropriate, but ... it would USUALLY be rather hard to tell that, and people should just let it slide. But likewise, if a woman arrives at a door and there is a guy coming right behind her, she should hold the door for him and he shouldn't look all surprised like, why are you doing that, I should be holding the door for you.

The whole door-holding gender protocol thing is complete bullshit, and people should just do it as courtesy when it makes sense, regardless of gender.

Unfortunately a lot of our society lives by complete bullshit and too many people are easily confused.

For me at least, that is no reason to lower my own standards and stop doing the right thing. If I do the right thing and it bothers or confuses someone, whatever.

[yardwork]

154. It's their problem, not ours.

As a woman, I don't recall ever telling a man I didn't need them to hold a door for me. I thank everyone who holds the door, and I do it for everyone when it's clearly helpful and needed.

Honestly, I've often wondered if the whole "I get yelled at when I hold a door for a woman" thing is a myth. But there are rude people out there, so I suppose it happens.

It's sexist to assume that all women think this way because a few are rude.

[betsuni]

193. Larry David's door-holding rule: type + distance.

I don't remember ever giving a moment's thought to holding a door, a person is right behind you or they aren't!

[LiberalFighter]

223. Or some demand others be nice to them. But don't reciprocate.

[usedtobedemgurl]

18. One of the rules to dating me

Has always been you must hold open doors for me. I am up front with that and the person can decide if it is a deal breaker.

[ProfessorGAC]

41. My Wife Hasn't Touched A Door Handle...

...when I'm with her, since June of '78. I was raised to do that, and she's been pleased to accept the courtesy.

[Scrivener7]

87. Oh, My, God! How did this come to be about opening doors??

[ProfessorGAC]

97. She Expects

I deliver.
One Exception: The remote for her car doesn't work right.
As a "cost cutting" Move, Buick only put the key lock on the driver's side door. So, if the car is locked I have to around the other side, unlock the door, hit the unlock button on the armrest. I don't go back around to open her door.
I bought a new remote, but haven't programmed it yet.

[GenThePerservering]

75. That would be a deal breaker for me, too

I'd never bother with such an entitled person who thinks they should be waited on.

Equal opportunity door opener here.

[usedtobedemgurl]

76. Some women ask for flowers....

Some want to be taken out for supper. Some like you in one short versus another. I kind of like to think compared to some of those things or requesting jewelry, trips, etc, asking for a guy to open a door is not entitled, but what do I know. Those other things may be fine and I am not seeing the forest for the trees.

I am a dominatrix. In the BDSM world you are expected to put out what exactly it is you are looking for, to save time and incompatibility. If stating; straight forward, what I want, whether it is a door opened, no republicans or no smoking; then I guess I am one of the most entitled people on the planet.

[GenThePerservering]

110. Guess you may be

oh well.

[anciano]

22. I am 76 years old and have never

had anyone, male or female, offended by my holding a door for them. Sometimes it's not what you do that matters as how you do it. Just a thought.

[AZLD4Candidate]

37. hold it open. smile. let person pass.

[txwhitedove]

50. Yep, how you do it. When i was in my hot 20's, i opened a big glass door but saw a guy right behind

me using both hands to carry a box. So, I quickly pushed the door open wide holding it near the top since I was 5'11", easy. Oops, he was short and had to walk through under my arm. The look on his face! I felt bad, sort of. Never did that again.

[malaise]

80. Same here

I always smile and say thank you wether it’s he or she.
Further if I am leaving somewhere and open the door and see someone else entering or leaving, I hold the door for them.

[Carlitos Brigante]

24. Yeah, I'm sure it happens aaaaaall the time.... Shit! It just happened to me as

I was typing this, while holding the door open. The nerve!!!

[AZLD4Candidate]

35. it doesn't anymore. i don't hold doors for anyone.

[Carlitos Brigante]

38. That's hilarious! nt

[Bernardo de La Paz]

55. Smile at them and say "Yes, you are absolutely right!"

Sure, they don't need it.

[Bernardo de La Paz]

19. In Canada, people automatically hold doors for the next person, no matter gender or age

At least around here, but I think most places in Canada.

[prodigitalson]

23. that's pretty much how it is in the South.....their politics suck but they got manners

[Scrivener7]

224. That's how it is here in the northeast too. This raging door-holding controversy is not really a thing anywhere.

[ProfessorGAC]

40. Many Times, I've Held The Door For Someone...

...but 6 feet later there's another door, and that person holds that one for me.
I say, "Gee, now we're even!" Always gets a pleasant response.
As to my wife, she hasn't opened a door for herself when I'm there since June of '78!

[Ms. Toad]

44. Same in Ohio. n/t

[obamanut2012]

162. They do in the US, too

I hold it for everyone. Open it for anyone carrying something, on crutches, with a kid, etc.

[Ms. Toad]

43. You must live in a very odd place.

Around here most people hold doors open for others. Gender is irrelevant. When there is a double set of doors, most of the time you do the door holding dance - one holds open the first door and the other holds open the second. I'm female, and I've both had doors held open for me and held doors open for others within the past week (that I can remember - yesterday a man held the door for me at Panera; I held the door for a person whose gender I don't recall at the art school; a mixed gender group of people opened (and held open) the locked door at the art school.

I can't imagine anyone complaining about it, as long as no one is making a big deal out of it (deliberately targeting one gender; conveying a sense that it is cone because of a power/ability difference, etc.).

I am not aware that it has been different elsewhere I've been.

[AZLD4Candidate]

117. I love how dismissive people are when they say "well that never happened to you."

Good for you. It happened to me many times. Mostly in university when I tried to be polite and got that treatment.

[Ms. Toad]

126. Since the experience of the on point comments in this thread are very different from your experience,

You might want to look at how you are opening doors. I don't know what is going on, but it is not a reaction I have ever encountered or observed. And it seems that no one else who has entered this discussion has either. When that happens to me, I engage in a little introspection to see if there is something I am doing to trigger the reaction.

[AZLD4Candidate]

128. Open, smile, let person pass, close and then go about my business.

[obamanut2012]

163. Well said, Ms Toad

[yardwork]

155. She didn't say that.

[Scrivener7]

171. How long ago were you in university?

[Torchlight]

53. Sounds rather serious.

Best of luck in your endeavours!

fi

[AZLD4Candidate]

118. Thanks. I just had a novel published and getting a movie produced this year.

But your haughty, aloof condescending attitude is duly noted.

[obamanut2012]

164. I do not understand what that has to do with the door discussion

I've already been published and have had two scripts optioned, so does that mean what I say about opening doors trumps what you say?

[AkFemDem]

184. What? 😂

What does your door holding or your book have to do with this subject? Omg the chutzpah of hikacking a thread about a man condescendingly advising a woman on the “proper” way to swing a golf club despite the fact she’s a pro golfer and using it to condescendingly lecture posters on the proper way to hold doors is…. Hilarious.

[edisdead]

73. yep.

And that is all I can say about that.

[Scrivener7]

86. BAHAHA!!!! You seem upset!

[AZLD4Candidate]

119. and you're reaction and comment is borderline cyber-bullying.

[Scrivener7]

139. .

[obamanut2012]

165. No, it isn't

Psst it is your, not you're.

[Walleye]

98. Well have a little sympathy for us, I know you've never had it happen to you

I was a newspaper photographer, so I worked in public. You’d be surprised at the number of men that came up and told me how to work my camera. Could be the woman is concentrating on her work and doesn’t wanna be distracted by the stuff

[AZLD4Candidate]

120. I've had women come up to me and tell me how to teach my class or how to do a bench press.

That door swings both ways.

Women are not infallible. As Elizabeth Cady Stanton said: "women have the right to be sue and be sued."

[Walleye]

122. I will resist the urge to womansplain to you why that's not the same thing

But I can see you are trying, and probably are very nice guy to get along with, so I’m going to end this. Peace

[yardwork]

149. Wow. I don't have that reaction at all.

As an older professional woman, I've certainly had my share of sexism (from both men and women) but my response has been to lean into establishing healthy boundaries. Healthy boundaries mean being pleasant and professional but not allowing myself to feel guilted into things that cross my boundaries.

I absolutely hold doors and offer a helping hand. I help out younger colleagues - women and men - in an effort to pass on the help I received. I look at the many excellent, kind role models I've had and try to pay it forward.

We can choose to remember and celebrate our positive role models and try to contain the negative ones.

[Scrivener7]

170. And the OP, which the poster openly admits he has not watched, has nothing to do with one guy's door opening traumas.

[yardwork]

174. In his defense, though, he wouldn't know because he didn't watch the video.

I mean, how can you expect him to stay on topic when he doesn't know the topic?

[Lonestarblue]

153. That isn't being considerate of anyone, man or woman.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve walked into a store where you have to open the door (versus automatic doors) and the person in front doesn’t even glance back to see if they’re letting the door close in someone’s face—mine! I think consideration for the people around you outweighs any lack of appreciation from a few.

Something to think about.

“People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered; Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God; It was never between you and them anyway.”
-- Mother Teresa

[MagickMuffin]

2. Mansplainging Bro should've been minding his own damn business

And don’t ya just love how he takes credit for one of the swings.

Ultimate mansplaing Bro!

[PatSeg]

30. I was blown away

by how patient and pleasant she was. I'm not sure I could have done that.

[Mariana]

148. Guarantee she has experienced this many times.

[PatSeg]

169. That is probably true

Still, her restraint was very impressive.

[PJMcK]

3. Golfers should NEVER give swing advice

There are very few amateur golfers who have the training and experience to coach another player. One should only listen to professional instructors. Most swing advice, especially on the course, is BS and doesn’t help. By the way, if I ever hear someone suggest that a player should “keep your head down,” I might damage my new 60-degree wedge!

It’s male ego that causes this behavior. I’ve played far too much golf with both men and women. The ladies never offer advice just encouragement. The men mostly behave just as you’d expect, acting like they’re on the pro tour. Plus, the guy in the video was probably hitting on the young lady. I think her swing is quite good and the jerk should have kept his mouth shut. She certainly pured a couple of shots!

[SoFlaBro]

21. I've had the same goddamn experience. Too many "experts" on the golf course who are just fucking weekend duffers.

[rubbersole]

27. The worst duffers seem to be the ones quickest to give advice.

Sometimes I'll say "Thanks. Wanna play for a dollar a hole?" Usually solves the problem.

[ProfessorGAC]

48. I NEVER Give Swing Advice

Even if asked, I will decline saying I'm not an expert and I only know MY swing.
If it's something like being asked why they can't get out of a bunker, or why the chunk their chips, and the cause is obvious, I'll help. But, that's only because it doesn't take an expert to see the flaw, just experience. But, never on the full swing.
Giving unsolicited swing advice is a major no-no.

[obamanut2012]

166. I do an 'Arnold Palmer" swing

Raising my foot off the ground. I was taught that way, and due to a later car accident injury, it also works with my biomechanics.

I have a very good swing, it works for me. Do not ask me how many WELL ACTUALLYS I've gotten from men at the range... all who have worse swing results.

Maddening.

[robbob]

168. Yup, I took a session of training at Golftec, and would often come in with questions

about some random thing a fellow golfer told me about my swing. My instructor would just give me a funny look and ask “well, what is their handicap? So why are you taking their advice to heart?”. I stopped relaying these stories, and also stopped taking advice from my fellow duffers.

The guy in that video is pulling a classic dick move; trying to impress and interact with a beautiful young woman by giving unwanted advice.

[SarahD]

4. How not to flirt.

I don't get much flirtng anymore, but I remember that telling me I'm doing it all wrong was usually not effective.

[limbicnuminousity]

10. Was just thinking

the guy in the video has really shown how much he needs to work on his 'swing.' I honestly don't know how women put up with it. The last time I witnessed someone try anything like that with my daughter, I growled. Of course that was passing by a Planned Parenthood and they shouldn't have touched my kid. The principle stands. Women can ask for advice if they need or even want it.

[Hermit-The-Prog]

6. ...

[niyad]

7. To protect my poor kitty's sensitive system, I will not watch the video. But I

will make the observation that it is generally not wise to insult someone who has a weapon in their hands (one of the reasons my purse weighs what it does!).

[Floyd R. Turbo]

11. 😬👜🧱🤕

[niyad]

15. Exactly!

[Floyd R. Turbo]

17. 😁

[moniss]

29. Good to see you FRT

I missed your jokes. I came across some great ones by Rodney the other day. My favorite was "I don't get no respect. Why even the other day I went to my doctor. I told him I thought I thought my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot!!"

[Walleye]

103. That's pretty funny. My favorite Rodney Dangerfield was what he said

“She said she didn’t like casual sex. I said I’ll wear a tie”

[Floyd R. Turbo]

138. Thank you!

[spooky3]

8. I (F) was once practicing lobs using the tennis ball machine, when

A man I’d never seen at the courts crossed over into my court and proceeded to advise me on how to flatten out my shots.

I just smiled, because I didn’t want to explain what lobs are or that I had not sought his advice. Fortunately he left.

[Ohio Joe]

9. K&R - nt

[twodogsbarking]

14. I watch the LPGA. They are outstanding. Fun too.

[moniss]

31. I prefer the LPGA

for a couple of reasons. The main one is that I hear fewer drunks in the crowd hollering and screaming things at the golfers.

[ProfessorGAC]

51. Biggest Reason For Me To Watch The Women...

...is there is more to learn.
Women pros mostly have games based on precision & accuracy.
The male pros mostly are overpowering the course & that's something I know I'll never do. I couldn't even do that when I was younger.
I played in a pro-am (The Rail Classic) with Deana Ammacapane, back in the late 90s.
I never saw anybody hit fairway woods that well. Yeah, the make pros can too, but they hit 2 fairway woods each round. The ladies use them as a critical part of their game.

[spooky3]

58. Ex-hubby was a 5 handicap golfer and said the pro women's technique

was so much better than the pro men's, because it had to be to compete.

[ProfessorGAC]

63. I Agfee With Him

I'm over a 5 now. Maybe 7. Playing a course that rates at 68.2 from the tees I play, the average of my best 10 our of the last 20 rounds is around 75.
At my peak, (college) I was a plus 2. Through my 40s and early 50s, about a 3.
Your ex was correct. Like I said, their game is based on precision & accuracy. The best of the men fit that too, it's just that they hit it 330.

[moniss]

74. Excellent analysis

and I heartily agree that watching the mid and short game of the LPGA is way more interesting than the PGA/LIV golfers. Maybe it's just me, I don't have the stats to show it, but it also seems to me that the LPGA golfers put themselves in the sand less often.

[ProfessorGAC]

85. Also, With No Stats...

...I'm going to guess that around the greens, it's about the same.
We probably see the men in fairway bunkers more because it's easy to block or overcook driver when one swings as hard as they do
Also, the women are far less prone to try to fly the bunkers, even if it means hitting 3 wood off the tee. There's more positional golf.
Then, because their game is more reliant on precision, it's more important for the ladies to hit fairways. The men don't care nearly as much because they're hitting 8 iron to half wedge into every par 4.
Another point is the LPGA courses are set up differently around the greens. Being in a bunker can actually be an advantage on the PGA tour, but far less likely to be so for the LPGA. On the big tour, there are at least 4 holes every round where long is death.
So, I can't say your hypothesis is wrong, but I think there are reasons why it has more to do with conditions than to the quality or style of game.

[rubbersole]

61. Unbelievable short games.

Distance is fun. Touch is bliss.

[Hope22]

20. She is more than kind. I don't know how she took multiple doses of that moron!

He never would have commented to a male. As a sailor I have saved men’s butts many, many times. Interesting That they have to ignore advice and put people’s lives in jeopardy to be proven wrong. Still waiting on apologies. Love how the guy thinks his advice improves her swing. This treatment is a common occurrence in the lives of women!

[TeamProg]

25. Hey, at least he's not a Karen. He wasn't all over her with anger and mean accusations, probably thought he ws being

helpful, even if he wasn't.

We never saw his swing, maybe he's really good.

[AKwannabe]

26. Are you mansplaining right now????

[cate94]

28. Mansplaining a mansplainer?

She’s a professional, he is not. He is an idiot.

[Torchlight]

54. Woosh!

[TeamProg]

62. That's a little vague, probably meant to be offensive. Is that the sound of my comment going over your head?

[Hope22]

78. Yes some random bloke must most certainly be better than a woman professional player.

She should have showed him some respect and listened to him! Defend away. You are only making the point. He actually was interrupting her at work. Sounds about right!

[Scrivener7]

89. Wow! This thread encompasses ALL the butthurt!!!

[yardwork]

156. It's certainly filled my bingo card!

Wow.

[SunSeeker]

189. Right?

[limbicnuminousity]

129. He was monumentally oblivious.

She said repeatedly that she was working on a new swing. That's not a request for advice. It's a statement of purpose. Whether he was trying to flirt or thought he was kindly "helping" the distraught maiden he was rude, overbearing, pushy, and condescending. Did he ask at ANY point "hey, would you like some tips on your swing?"

[spooky3]

177. If in doubt, ask yourself if the person I want to advise

were a man, what would I say or do?

The truthful answer: mind my own business.

[AkFemDem]

185. Please say this is sarcasm 😂

[Red Raider 85]

32. that's a derogatory and sexist term and should be banned from DU.

I’m not sure why it’s OK to bash men. If some jackass is being a jackass, call him out, but to use derogatory and sexist terms in doing so isn’t right.

[Ohio Joe]

45. Men are not being bashed...

Misogynistic douchebags who think they know better than their betters are being bashed.

Actual men have no issue with it.

[TeamProg]

101. Agreed, so then call it "Misogynistic douchebag-splaining".

[Ohio Joe]

104. Spare meat part log

Or… Hotdog? I tend to use the word rather than the definition.

[TeamProg]

215. Missed it by that much.

[obamanut2012]

214. There is nothing wrong with mansplaining -- and mansplaining why it shouldn't be called that is something else

lol

[Mosby]

47. It's not man bashing, but an accurate observation

About the way some men view woman and how that affects the way they interact with them.

[spooky3]

59. The term correctly notes that the explainer is typically male and

the the target, female. If it is a man explaining something to another man, it's not "mansplaining." It is rare that women presume they have higher status or knowledge than a man in a random situation, that they know better than the man what his experience is and how to deal with it, and that their unrequested advice is welcome.

[johnp3907]

60. Thanks for mansplaining it to us.

[GoneOffShore]

65. Welcome to DU -

[ProfessorGAC]

66. Just Silly

I don't believe you understand what "mansplaining" means.
I'm a guy, and the advice giver was WAY out of line.

[mercuryblues]

70. If that is the way you

truly feel, alert on the OP.

I suspect, you're just looking to stir....

[Scrivener7]

90. It must be so difficult for you.

[Sky Jewels]

158. It describes a certain type of behavior. It's not "bashing" all men.

[Red Raider 85]

208. yes it does. right in the term! it's sexist and derogatory.

and it’s meant to be so. it’s offensive and sexist but it’s ok because it’s ok on DU to belittle men apparently.

[obamanut2012]

209. lolz

[obamanut2012]

205. lol

[Sky Jewels]

33. Too bad she didn't "accidentally"

make a wild swing and connect with two balls, if you know what I mean.

[central scrutinizer]

34. Where does a mansplainer get his water?

From a …

well, actually…..

[ProfessorGAC]

39. What A Dick!

Anybody who has played golf "for 20 years" would know she was FLUSHING those shots.
Dead straight off the center of the face. And she's changing her swing. Dead flush with a swing she's not used to yet.
Guy needs to STFU.

[Polybius]

42. I misread the tile for manscaping

[mac56]

46. Demetri Martin

"A woman asked me, what is mansplaining?

I answered, nice try."

[Demobrat]

52. I don't get the drama around opening and holding doors.

Maybe because I’ve spent the majority of my working life in busy office buildings. Whoever gets to the door first holds it for the person behind. Sometimes more than one. Regardless of gender. You don’t just let go and let it slam into the person behind you. It’s just manners.

[MorbidButterflyTat]

81. Same.

Courtesy. Manners.

Keeping score kinda sounds like a "men's rights" issue.

[SalviaBlue]

83. This is not about opening doors.

[Demobrat]

88. Thank you for the clarification.

No doubt you are right and I am wrong.

[Scrivener7]

92. Seems like a subject some people REALLY want to talk about. Even though it has NOTHING

to do with the thread.

[darbus]

56. unsolicited advice

Unsolicited advice is a form of criticism. I cannot remember where I heard this but I have not forgotten it.

[Silent3]

68. There are probably times it's okay, if you see someone visibly struggling...

...and you're polite about it. It can require a careful touch to give advice and make it come off as a friendly suggestion, not "I'm the expert! Here's how it's done, you idiot!".

[Bucky]

67. Not real mansplaining till he spoons up behind her and guides her swing

[llmart]

69. No, that's assault.

[Torchlight]

71. Wow, that guy's just a bag of whoosh (empty, stale air in this context).

[Aussie105]

79. Oh! I see where I went wrong!

Attractive younger female, keys locked in car, me helpful, got some stiff wire from my car, fished around in the door and after a few minutes found the inside latch and opened the door.
Stood back waiting for positive feedback. A simple 'thanks!' would have been sufficient.
Instead - got berated for being so slow, and maybe scratching her car.

Attractive younger female, stuck in traffic, older car, gear selector (manual column shift) jammed.
Popped the bonnet, unjammed the linkage, tried to mansplain how to fix next time, off she went . . . but first I got berated, glared at, must be a mad rapist, me!

So . . . the moral . . . only help people who ask for help, skip the damsel in distress, look the other way?
Or just the older motorist?

Nah, too complicated! Look the other way. Walk or drive away, don't help.
Just ring roadside assist if you need help!

. . . and forget opening doors for anyone. No good can come of it.

The biggest problem with mansplaining though is this:

Often it is advice on how to do something, and the response is . . . 'Don't care. This is outside my sphere of interest' or 'you do it, I'm not interested'.
That's me when I try to explain to the wife how to check her car's oil, tyre pressures, fuel it up, of change a tyre.

[SalviaBlue]

84. This not about opening doors.

[Scrivener7]

93. Poor dear.

[johnp3907]

96. I see where you went wrong too.

[Iggo]

109. Why are they always attractive?

(That’s a rhetorical question. I know why…lol.)

[GenThePerservering]

112. You seem to be the common denominator

interesting.

[vercetti2021]

91. I get the same shit at the shooting range

Every "macho" idiot trying to tell me how to line sight, how to position myself, how to aim, etc etc. Not knowing I can easily smoke these dudes in a point match without even trying.

[Scrivener7]

94. Lordy, this thread! You did it this time, redqueen! You showed a blatant example of stunningly

ignorant and obnoxious mansplaining, and then you had the effrontery to call it mansplaining!

Just for that we're going to bore you to death with stories about how no one is going to open doors for anyone anymore!!!!

That'll learn you!!!

[obamanut2012]

167. It is flabbergasting

[kcr]

207. Classic

One of them didn't even watch the video.

[Jedi Guy]

95. The killer here is that the solution to this behavior is super simple.

If someone asks for help or advice, providing said help or advice is a kind and supportive thing to do. If they don't ask for help or advice, though... mind your own business and let them mind theirs. Boom, done. The problem is solved.

It would never occur to me to stop and just start barfing out unsolicited advice to a total stranger like that.

[Aussie105]

106. A man needs his chat-up lines.

lol

"Manspaining" means you are talking too much about a topic the listener prefers to not have to listen to.

More polite that saying STFU, but only just.

Wifey of 33+ years does womansplaining at me about all the TV shows she watches.
As if I care . . .

[Jedi Guy]

108. "A man needs his chat-up lines."

Of course, but "Hey, how's it going?" makes one look like much less of a dumbshit than trying to critique a pro golfer's technique. Being polite and personable goes a long way, and being able to make the other person laugh goes even further. My wife was initially attracted to me because I made her laugh. The fact that I "got" her humor was an added incentive.

I understand the impulse to appear knowledgeable and competent when hitting on someone, but I feel like grace and humility would work better. If I'd been interested in hitting on her, I'd have asked her if she had a minute to chat and then asked for some advice and pointers on how to make my swing better rather than critiquing hers.

[Scrivener7]

111. No. That's actually not what mansplaining means at all.

[betsuni]

133. No, you're describing a bore. Anybody can be a bore.

[obamanut2012]

135. That is 100% not what mansplaining is

[meadowlander]

190. I'll go a tiny step further.

If someone is visibly struggling, why not ask if you can help them and then listen to and respect their response? It's not rocket science.

I've been in planes where random men ripped bags out of my hands without asking me and shoved them into the overhead bins and then gotten pissy that they didn't immediately get a "my hero!" response when I'm still recovering from thinking someone was stealing my bag.

Ask first, then help when it is welcome. Rinse, repeat.

[Iggo]

105. Did you hear about the mansplainer who drowned in a puddle?

It was a well, actually.

[redqueen]

107. Ok that's good

[Chuuku Davis]

123. Oh good grief

He just wanted to catch some tail.

[Hekate]

130. And there you have it. SHE kept saying NO by indicating non-interest...

Just like E Jean Carroll kept saying NO by indicating non-interest, right up until Trump slammed her against a wall and raped her

Thank you, Chuuku Davis, for the illustration

[obamanut2012]

136. Wow

[Scrivener7]

140. Yes. This is a common approach. And that's why so many

men are complaining that women won't sleep with them.

Get it?

[redqueen]

141. Unbelievable. nt

[betsuni]

124. It's hilarious some people still get touchy about the word mansplaining.

From Rebecca Solnit's "Men Explain Things to Me":

"'So? I hear you've written a couple of books.' I replied, 'Several, actually.' He said, in the way you encourage your friend's seventeen-year-old to describe flute practice, 'And what are they about?' ... He cut me off soon after I'd mentioned Muybridge. 'And have you heard about the very important Muybridge book that came out this year?' So caught up was I in my assigned role as ingenue that I was perfectly willing to entertain the possibility that another book had come out simultaneously and I'd somehow missed it. He was already telling me about the very important book -- with that smug look I know so well in a man holding forth, eyes fixed on the fuzzy far horizon of his own authority.

"So, Mr. Very Important was going on smugly about this book I should've known when Sallie interrupted him to say, 'That's her book.' ... She had to say, 'That's her book' three or four times before he finally took it in. ... That I was indeed the author of the very important book it turned out he hadn't read, just read about in the New York Times Book Review a few months earlier, so confused the neat categories into which his world was sorted that he was stunned speechless -- for a moment, before he began holding forth again. Being women, we were politely out of earshot before we started laughing, and we've never really stopped. I like incidents of that sort, when forces that are usually so sneaky and hard to point out slither out of the grass and are as obvious as, say, an anaconda that's eaten a cow or an elephant turd on the carpet."

[Hekate]

131. Beautiful, just beautiful

[betsuni]

132. A clear, easy-to-understand example of mansplaining. Like an elephant turd on the carpet.

[redqueen]

143. Thanks for that.

Are you sure you wouldn't rather discuss how men holding doors open for women is such a tragically disappearing tradition?

And politely ignore that considerate people hold doors for people, like, in general?

[Scrivener7]

144. And the one who hijacked the thread and

made it a discussion about his tragic door-opening experiences openly admits he didn't watch the video and has NO idea whatsoever what the thread is actually about.

Shutting down conversations about women's experiences and making them about men's personal gripes against women is another obnoxious tactic.

[obamanut2012]

160. That subthread infuriated me

[SunSeeker]

191. You summed it up perfectly.

[obamanut2012]

159. I read that earlier

And was like wtaf

[Tree-Hugger]

157. Yes, but...

Did this guy hold the door and smile and they walked through? Because that Trump's everything.

[lindysalsagal]

145. But laughing at mansplaining usually works, too.

Tiny.Little.Fragile.Egos.

[TheRickles]

146. Has the male golfing "expert" ever been identified, to see his reaction when he learned who the woman golfer was?

That'd be worth the price of admission.

[lapucelle]

176. The ultimate in mansplainin'...

[MerryBlooms]

178. Omg, I still grind my teeth every time I see that clip. 😆

[lapucelle]

179. In case you've never read the origin story...

Men Explain Things to Me

Before there was mansplaining, there was Rebecca Solnit's 2008 critique of male arrogance. Reprinted here with a new introduction.

https://www.guernicamag.com/rebecca-solnit-men-explain-things-to-me/

[MerryBlooms]

182. Thanks for refreshing my memory. I have read that piece.

I'm 60, the youngest of seven. Four boys, three girls. Every time I speak with any of my siblings, I'm mansplained. My eldest sister lives with me, she automatically takes the man's side in every situation her daughters call about. I stay completely outta that stuff! I have three surviving brothers, when we touch base, I get off the phone as quick as possible. It doesn't help that they all are trump supporters, I'm the only hard-core Dem in the family. Family dynamic plays a part in my case, but the mansplaining gets way deep when it's your older brothers. 😢

[betsuni]

187. Thanks. I quoted Solnit from her book in an above comment but didn't think to find a link!

"A website named 'Academic Men Explain Things to Me' arose, and hundreds of university women shared their stories of being patronized, belittled, talked over, and more. The term 'mansplaining' was coined soon after the piece appeared, and I was sometimes credited with it. In fact, I had nothing to do with its actual creation, though my essay, along with all the men who embodied the idea, apparently inspired it. (I have doubts about the word and don't use it myself much, it seems to me to go a little heavy on the idea that men are inherently flawed this way, rather than that some men explain things they shouldn't and don't hear things they should. If it's not clear enough in the piece, I love it when people explain things to me they know and I'm interested in but don't yet know; it's when they explain things to me I know and they don't that the conversation goes wrong.) By 2012, the term 'mansplained' -- one of the New York Times's words of the year for 2010 -- was being used in mainstream political journalism. Alas, this was because it dovetailed pretty well with the times."

What I used to get a lot when younger was men asking me if I knew the meaning of words. The big, hard words with more than a couple syllables. As if I were a child or a non-native speaker of the language. I think I looked even dumber than I actually am. Thank you ever so, Mr. Dictionary.

[Eliot Rosewater]

180. Guaranteed trumper.

[AkFemDem]

186. Meh- I've had plenty of men

Who I know identify as progressive try to mansplain to me over the years.

[Eliot Rosewater]

219. Yes, my comment was off base. You are right.

A true trumper would have been yelling at her probably.

[Scrivener7]

199. This thread shows us it crosses political lines.

[betsuni]

200. Yes it does, absolutely, as most examples show.

[Eliot Rosewater]

218. I see that now...

[Tree-Hugger]

202. Maybe not

This thread proves it's not just a dem vs repub issue.

[Eliot Rosewater]

217. I stand corrected, so far the posts arguing are newbies...maybe they are trumpers...I havent

read it all yet.

[TexasBushwhacker]

181. The thing that's funny is he probably thinks he's flirting n/t

[ecstatic]

183. It looked like dad-splainin to me.

Or grandpa-splainin.

My dad is doing more of that with each passing day. Unsolicited lectures, sometimes to strangers... and when he gets on a roll, there's nothing you can really say to stop the lecture. He's in a zone at that point, and all you can really do is react like how she did in the video. lol.

[JI7]

196. Dickbag

this is why Trump is a serious candidate for President.

[ms liberty]

201. This thread is a trip. The subthreads, the ridiculous excuses. Wow. n/t

[Tree-Hugger]

203. This thread proves....

...that the problematic ways in which some men interact with women are not limited to political party affiliation...

[GenThePerservering]

213. Whinesplaining on that sub-thread nt

[Torchlight]

216. Reading the entire thread kind of validates the original premise a bit in places.

Knowing my own swing pretty well, I think the only thing I wold have said to her is, "hey... can you show me how you do that?"