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(20,988 posts)
Tue Apr 2, 2024, 10:34 AM Apr 2

Desperate Trump Tries To Fix Plunging Stock Price With Sharpie


APR 02, 2024
(black Sharpie marker)
A Sharpie much like the one Trump used, according to sources. (Brett Jordan on Unsplash)

PALM BEACH (The Borowitz Report)—An ugly scene unfolded at Mar-a-Lago on Monday as an increasingly apoplectic Donald J. Trump watched the stock price of his newly listed Trump Media & Technology Group plummet.

Incensed by CNBC’s graph tracking his stock’s dizzying descent, Trump uncapped a black Sharpie and started defacing the TV screen in a desperate attempt to halt the slide.

After Eric Trump whined that his father was “wrecking the TV,” the indicted businessman hurled the Sharpie at his son, disfiguring his forehead.

Across the country, members of the MAGA movement who invested in Trump Media were reportedly in a state of shock that a company run by Donald Trump could lose money.
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(2,183 posts)
1. " hurled the Sharpie at his son, disfiguring his forehead."
Tue Apr 2, 2024, 10:53 AM
Apr 2

How could it be more disfigured?

I think the word should be “figured” since anything done to it has to be an improvement


(15,812 posts)
7. Perhaps. But a far better way would be to tag the post with a category such as "satire"
Tue Apr 2, 2024, 01:05 PM
Apr 2

All OPs could have one or more tags (perhaps selected from categories that EarlG and Elad establish). Then we wouldn't need separate forums - just search on one or more tags. I.e. "satire + borowitz" or "trump + sharpie". Unfortunately the current search function (for me) is not very helpful - uses google and loses my browser tab history (can't go back).


(9,668 posts)
6. The DJT stock dumpster fire getting a bit of a reprieve today - wonder what kazillionaire is
Tue Apr 2, 2024, 12:56 PM
Apr 2

helping to prop up the price at the moment?? Phootie - can u hear me???


(4,682 posts)
9. It is not unusual for a newly offered public stock to slump shortly after
Tue Apr 2, 2024, 01:13 PM
Apr 2

an initial run-up when it is first publicly offered.... even the big socials did that.

It may be more unusual for a new public offering to be so inherently worthless, by the numbers...
$4 million income vs $50 million in losses, or whatever the number is....

Those who got in at the beginning, took their profit and got out quick were the smart ones....

With his stake, Trump has the ability to make this plunge look like peanuts,
if he should sell a large portion of it.....

By contract, he can't sell any of his shares for six months---
unless the board of the company gives him a waiver...

Either way, anyone holding should GET THE FUCK OUT before that happens.

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