The Borowitz Report Effort to Control Uteri Led By Men With Small Peni

[LetMyPeopleVote]

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/effort-to-control-uteri-led-by-men

FLORIDA (The Borowitz Report)—With abortion rights on the ballot this fall, the fight to control the state’s 11 million uteri is being helmed by a vocal coalition of men with small peni.

Harland Dorrinson, an organizer of the coalition, said that he formed the group because “men like us are tired of being invisible.”

His group’s volunteers have been fanning out across the state with the goal of recruiting like-penised men, he said.

“The good news is, there is no shortage of men with small peni in Florida,” he said. “We’ve had a lot of luck at gun shows.”

In addition to defeating the abortion rights measure, the tiny-membered men hope to increase turnout for the indicted businessman Donald J. Trump. “He’s one of us,” he said.

[Goddessartist]

1. LOL that is

exactly my humor/what I was thinking yesterday.

[marble falls]

2. And Borowitz is one of us!

[Irish_Dem]

3. Actually fairly accurate.

What kind of men attack women, passing laws that put women in prison or left to die in parking lots
for trying to obtain health care. Men who attack women's sexuality and reproductive functioning.

Answer: Men who have a deep insecurity about their own sexual functioning, hate women, blame them for male problems and want control, revenge, punishment.

[sop]

4. Tiny-membered men: "Trump's one of us."

Borowitz is a treasure.

[Blue Owl]

5. These men are welcome to email their concerns to: [e-mail]

[rzemanfl]

6. K & R n/t.

[dawg]

7. I know it's supposed to be a joke, but I doubt penis size has anything to do with it.

These men have a shit ton of other things they need to compensate for. Things that are their own damn fault and the result of their own stupid choices.

Honestly, this joke got old decades ago.

And I'm not just saying that because I drive an F-150.

[dchill]

9. I see what you did there.

[lindysalsagal]

8. Just when you think he can't get funnier!

[usaf-vet]

10. To the great description in the title "Control Uteri Led By Men With Small Peni," I would add pea-size brains and LG ego

A formula for bad decision-making.

[TheRickles]

11. Not that it really matters, but the plural of "penis" in Latin would be "penes".

I compensate for my insecurities by being a grammar policeman.

[colorado_ufo]

12. Literary license.

[malthaussen]

13. The bigger the truck, the smaller the penis.

Seems like an invariant law.

-- Mal

[speak easy]

19. And if they've bought this beauty ?

[malthaussen]

22. Then their brain is of similar size. n/t

[EarnestPutz]

14. The line about gun shows cracked me up.

[ProudMNDemocrat]

15. God gave these men "two heads" and they are incapable of thinking with either one of them.

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

16. K&R

[sheshe2]

17. No shortage of maga menz with small peni.

[erronis]

18. Assuming the smaller the better, I hear there is an operation to help those men.

Lorena Bobbit developed a quick and almost painless technique to improve these men's lack of performance, and therefore acceptance into the Trump Smallest Contest.

(Have to admit I typed Ashli instead of Lorena - wonder if they are/were related....)

[et tu]

20. 'the first cut is the deepest' nt

[niyad]

21. And I have to admit that when I saw the "L" and "B", my mind went to

lauren boebert.