Top 10 Conservative Idiots #16-8: Troll Bridge Under The River Kwai Edition

[Top 10 Idiots]

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #16-8: Troll Bridge Under The River Kwai Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Yoooooooooooooooooo!!! What’s up, Las Vegas? How you guys doing? You doing fucking good? Great! First off, congratulations to U-Conn for securing back to back March Madness titles! And hopefully you can still go to the White House and not be served a McDonalds buffet! It is good to be back in America after touring South America for two weeks. We always love being here in Las Vegas at the MGM! I want to again, expressly thank our touring partners who helped arrange this excursion – the Visit Brazil and Visit Argentina tourism bureaus. We had an amazing time in South America, but now it’s back to the grind as we have Stupidest State 2024 to finish up! But anyway we enjoyed our trip so much that we decided to extend an extra couple of days to take in all that South America has to offer! Don’t worry, Chile and Ecuador, we haven’t left you out yet! But that’s why we’re having a rare Friday edition of the Top 10 for your enjoyment this week. Do we have time for the thing that we always do before the show? Of course we do, it’s my program, damn it! So I know for a fact that we have a lot of New York viewers of this program, because we hit the Grammercy Theater in NYC a lot and it always sells out. And I’m sure that everyone knows about the earthquake that happened last week. Which, those of us in California are like “dude, bro, chill the fuck out!”. Although by the way, we’re not at all shocked to learn that the epicenter of the quake was in Bedminster, New Jersey. If you’re not laughing, you don’t know what that city is the home of, and if you don’t know, what are you doing in this audience? Well anyway, this one story we found totally shocking, and it’s the last place you’d ever want to be when the earth quakes – surgery! Specifically, surgery for a certain part of the male anatomy. Yup, that’s right – there was a guy in Manhattan who was in the middle of getting a vasectomy. Which, yeah… male organs, earthquake, surgical tools involved… what could possibly go wrong? Thankfully the doctor was smart enough to stop the procedure mid-operation, but that could have been absolutely disastrous! Yes, thank you sir! Well OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to, but first John Oliver is back and he talks about food delivery apps, which, behind the scenes, are exactly what you’d expect these days:

So where do we begin this week? In the number one slot this week, we have to talk about the devastating collapse of the Francis Scott Key Bridge outside of Baltimore, Maryland (1). Of course, we can’t let some good old fashioned incompetence get in the way of batshit crazy internet conspiracy theories, and hoo boy did the trolls come out of the woodwork! In the second slot this week, it goes to MAGA republicans (2). Yes, in the latest pathetic attempt to see who can kiss Dear Leader’s ass more, there’s a bill being proposed to name DC’s Dulles Airport after him. Yeah better get your vomit buckets and barf bags ready! In the number 3 slot this week, is also unfortunately that guy who we inexplicably used to call president (3) and his social media hidey-hole, aka Truth Social, is going public and the stock scam known as “pump-n-dump” is going exactly according to plan. We can’t wait to see Fox and the MAGAs declare… victory, I guess?... over this one. Taking the 4th slot this week, is MAGA Republicans (4), and we were absolutely delighted to see that every single MAGA-backed school board candidate in St. Louis failed, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg! Republicans are losing in the fundraising department on all fronts, and they have Dear Leader to thank for it! Gee, you think playing with fascism is bad? And in the number 5 slot this week is a new edition of “We’re All Gonna Die” (5) and if this segment doesn’t convince the populace of the sheer terror of zoonotic viruses like we saw with COVID, then probably nothing will. Because as we learned with COVID, half the population told the other half to go screw themselves, so what will happen when Bird Flu resurges? Well we’re about to find out! In the number 6 slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” and this week… sigh, we have to talk about it. The Unholy Dark One, aka He Who Shall Not Be Named, is selling America themed Bibles with his signature on them, and do we really have to explain why that is absolutely scary? Come on! Taking the number 7 seed, every conservative has a billionaire sugar daddy waiting to bail them out, and guess what? We found Trump’s! Yes, we’re profiling LA subprime auto kingpin Don Hankey in a new edition of “This Fucking Guy” (7). In the number 8 slot this week is our weekly visit to the never ending void of online tin foil hat nuttery in Conspiracy Corner, and this week – wingnuts have been in a frenzy about the possibly that Nebraska’s lone NB-3 district could be the key to determining the election, but is America really *THAT* divided, you might ask? Well a little column A, little column B. And in the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week is a new I Need A Drink and Monday was a once-in-a-lifetime solar eclipse and the mania was fierce, and we take a look at some of the crazier stories and theories out there! Finally this week it’s time for Stupidest State 2024 (10)! And this week it’s Round 1 Week 4, and we’ve saved the best for last as #3 Louisiana looks to defend #4 Kentucky to play Florida in the Batshit Conference finals, while over in the Family Values Conference, #3 Oklahoma is bringing its’ big guns to the dance against one of the hottest teams in the league, #4 North Carolina! We’re live from San Diego with all the exciting action! Plus, to cap things off, we have a live performance from one of my favorite punk bands of all time, the legendary Bad Religion is stopping by to promote the No Values Festival in Pomona! That’s exciting! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Frances Scott Key Bridge Collapse
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Well, another day, another example of why we can’t have nice things in this country. Last week, there was that absolutely devastating Frances Scott Key bridge just outside of Baltimore, Maryland. And of course, the usual finger pointing and name blame gaming went on the news almost immediately after the incident. But we can’t let some good old fashioned incompetence get in the way of batshit, bizarre conspiracies and internet trolling, can we? Of course not! This is the social media world in which we currently live! So for the sake of this piece, why don’t we name it after the classic World War II movie “Bridge Over The River Kwai”. Nah, why don’t we update it and call it “Troll Bridge Over The River Kwai”? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! I could totally see Steve Bannon and Marjorie Greene jumping ship there! But you know, instead of talking about the disaster and everything it spawned, we’re instead going to talk about the absolute insanity of right wingers shooting their mouths off about things that they don’t know or even begin to understand, and that this is entirely a product of people listening to assholes on TV, radio, and the internet and voting on instinct instead of rational thought. Elections have consequences, people!

Outlandish conspiracy theories circulated on X after a containership collided with a major bridge in Maryland, causing it to collapse, early Tuesday morning.

The ship hit a supporting structure of the Francis Scott Key Bridge, which is located southeast of the Baltimore metropolitan area.

Maryland Gov. Wes Moore declared a state of emergency and said the calamity that knocked down the bridge was most likely the result of an accident and not an act of terrorism. Moore told reporters that crew members of the Dali containership, which struck the Key Bridge on Tuesday morning, had notified authorities that they lost power.

As rescuers search for survivors, some online conspiracy theorists have attempted to uncover a nonexistent plot to explain the collision.
https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/francis-scott-key-bridge-collapse-conspiracy-theories-online-rcna145105

Gee, why am I not at all surprised that X is a spot where shit congregates? Yeah… X marks the brown spot on the internet! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! See? That’s what we’re about on this program – making light of all the dark shit in the news with a side of poop jokes! But of course while the conspiracy theorists, TPUSAers, Infowars fans and other internet shitbags were arguing whether or not it was terrorism or a cyber attack, or my personal favorite – some Wiley Coyote style dynamite… yeah wouldn’t it be great if it was Acme brand? LMAO! It wasn’t any of those things. It was just some good old fashioned incompetence.

It’s been a week since the stunning and sudden collapse of Baltimore’s Francis Scott Key Bridge. In the days immediately following the disaster, social media was awash with myths and conspiracies that were widely shared and sadly, remain part of the discussion about one of the most significant events in the city’s history. Here are a few of the false narratives and claims that have sprouted in the wake of the tragedy.
It was terrorism

False. Multiple authorities, including city, state and federal officials, have disputed claims the bridge was intentionally targeted. “There is no evidence at this time to suggest that today’s collapse of the Francis Scott Key Bridge in Baltimore has any ties to terrorism,” said Maryland U.S. Attorney Erek L. Barron March 26. The FBI also weighed in: “There is no specific and credible information to suggest any ties to terrorism at this time,” the agency said the day of the collapse. There have been no terror alerts issued referencing the Key Bridge since that time.
It was a cyber attack

False. Despite the WWIII-incoming hype shared by far-right accounts on X, some with millions of followers, there is no evidence the bridge was the target of a cyber attack. National Transportation Safety Board investigators said they obtained data that was “consistent with a power outage” onboard the cargo ship Dali just prior to it hitting the bridge.
https://www.baltimoresun.com/2024/04/02/key-bridge-myths-conspiracies/

Oh come on people! Stop your rabbling! You know there’s an absolutely easy solution to stop all of this, but you probably don’t want to hear it. Are you ready to hear the solution? The solution is this: STOP VOTING FOR STUPID PEOPLE!!!! Stop listening to idiots like Sean Hannity and Charlie Kirk who peddle this crap to millions of idiots every night. You want to deregulate entire industries? Well be prepared to live with disaster. The sooner you face reality, the better. But the Frances Scott Key Bridge collapse is a perfect example of how misinformation gets out in the open and completely blown out of proportion.

The overnight collapse of Baltimore's Francis Scott Key Bridge drove a surge in online conspiracy theories Tuesday, many of them promoted by "verified" accounts with huge followings on X.

Why it matters: Rampant misinformation during mass casualty events is not a new phenomenon. But under Elon Musk's ownership of X, the platform has changed from an essential real-time news source to a breeding ground for conspiracy theories.

Driving the news: Federal and state authorities said Tuesday there's no evidence that terrorism played a role in the collapse of the 1.6 mile-long bridge, which was struck by a container ship at around 1:30am ET Tuesday.

The crew of the Singapore-flagged Dali issued a mayday call before striking the bridge and notified authorities that it was experiencing a power issue, according to Maryland Gov. Wes Moore.
Paul Wiedefeld, Maryland's transportation secretary, said eight members of a construction crew were making repairs to the bridge at the time of the collision.
https://www.axios.com/2024/03/26/francis-scott-key-bridge-collapse-reasons-conspiracy

Yeah really! Why do people listen to this shit? What do they get their jollies on? Instead of going to stupid people like Charlie Kirk for answers, why don’t we ask someone who might, I don’t know, actually know some shit? Like for instance the current Secretary Of Transportation, who’s held onto his job longer than anyone in the previous administration did? Yeah let’s ask him. Because it’s totally insane that stupid people are given a megaphone for their stupidity, while actual experts on things get left out in the dust. Just…. Stop the planet already.

Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg called it “upsetting” that in the face of tragedy – the collapse of Baltimore’s Francis Scott Key bridge – conspiracy theories have circulated to explain what caused the disaster that left six people to be presumed dead.

Disaster struck when the Dali container ship lost power and rammed into the Key bridge just before 1.30am on Tuesday, 26 March. The collision caused the bridge to collapse, sending construction workers flying into the Patapsco River below.

Days later, the cause of the tragic collision is still being investigated. As numerous agencies are trying to put together the pieces of what led to the crash, conspiracy theories have cropped up.

CNN’s Kaitlan Collins pointed out there have been “wild conspiracy theories” about what caused the disaster, ranging from a cyberattack, the captain having side effects from a Covid-19 vaccine, and blaming the Obamas.
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/buttigieg-baltimore-bridge-collapse-conspiracy-b2520646.html

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[font size="8"]Trump International Airport
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Can we please stop with this insane quest to name everything after every current president? I mean the right wing and their obsession with American symbolism. What the fuck. It’s not enough to have just an image of the United States Constitution or the American flag. You have to have a bald eagle. On a tank. In front of the US flag, set on fire. With fireworks in the background. And for some reason a picture of Mt. Rushmore and the giant Randy’s Donuts sign in Los Angeles. The right wing could tell you all about “WE THE PEOPLE”, but chances are extraordinarily high that they haven’t read the Constitution or the Declaration Of Independence past “We The People”. So why am I talking so much about the right wing obsession with symbolism? Because their latest fight in the ongoing Fox News sponsored and initiated culture wars is that they want to name an airport after that last president. Yes, the guy who tried to kill half of Congress and his own vice president to stop an election from being certified. That guy. In the latest and most pathetic attempt to kiss his ass yet, MAGA republicans have introduced a resolution to rename Washington DC, Dulles Airport, under the code IAD, after, well, that fucking asshole. Yes, he’s back to having his name in the news again 24 hours a day and it’s absolutely sickening.

A group of House Republicans are aiming to rename Washington Dulles International Airport after Donald Trump—a move symbolic of their allegiance to the former president but one unlikely to become law.

Reps. Michael Waltz, R-Fla., Andy Ogles, R-Tenn., Chuck Fleischmann, R-Tenn., Paul Gosar, R-Ariz., Barry Moore, R-Ala., and Rep. Troy Nehls, R-Texas, co-sponsored the bill.

Reschenthaler told Fox News Digital “there is no better symbol of freedom, prosperity and strength than hearing ‘Welcome to Trump International Airport’ as they land on American soil.”

The bill, introduced Friday and made public Tuesday, was referred to the House Committee on Transportation and Infrastructure.
Chief Critic

“I remember Republicans like those who wrote this bill hiding and giving mealy mouthed responses when asked about the suffering Trump’s Muslim ban caused,” Rep. Don Beyer, D-Va., tweeted in response to the bill, referring to travelers who were detained at the airport under Trump’s controversial executive order blocking entrants from seven Muslim-majority countries. “They know Dulles will never be renamed after Trump. Again, that’s not the point, the point is to suck up to their Dear Leader.”
https://www.forbes.com/sites/saradorn/2024/04/02/a-donald-j-trump-international-airport-house-republicans-introduce-bill-to-rename-dulles-after-former-president/?sh=2b19ebff6fe1

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Symbol of freedom? Fuuuuuuuuuck you. If anything, that would cause people to jump back on the plane and turn around. Can we stop with this bullshit already? Trump is…. let me see… he’s the third worst human being on earth after Vladimir Putin and Xi Jianping. The sooner he goes away permanently, the better! And the absolute last thing we need in this country is permanent reminders of his existence. But there is good news. Despite this latest attempt at trolling and kissing the ass of the former president, there is a counter offer. OK we’ll play your game to rename Dulles Airport after the Bloviating Orange Asshole. But as long as we get this in return!

House Democrats escalated the Donald Trump naming wars Friday, proposing that a federal prison in Miami be re-dedicated to the former president who faces up to four criminal trials.

The mocking proposal ? which is highly unlikely to pass in the Republican-run House ? came days after a group of GOP members proposed that Washington Dulles International Airport be re-named for Trump.

In making a counter-proposal, Rep. Gerry Connolly, D-Va., said "it is only right that the closest federal prison to Mar-a-Lago should bear his name. I hope our Republican friends will join us in bestowing upon Donald J. Trump the only honor he truly deserves.”

Trump, who faces an April 15 start date in a federal hush money trial, did not comment on social media on the prison proposal, but said he was pleased by the plan to re-name Dulles.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/elections/2024/04/05/trump-airport-prison-dulles/73220100007/

At least prisons are still useful. Why don’t we name something after Trump that seems more appropriate – a place where shit congregates? Like maybe the diaper changing tables or a sewage treatment plant? Yeah much like John Oliver’s proposal! I mean come on, should the guy who currently has 91 felony counts and owes nearly $1 billion dollars to his rape victims get anything named after him anywhere in the country? Yeah there’s also this batshit proposal to rename I-8 after Trump in Florida… yeah it does look like a urethra, thank you sir! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha… but really, are we forgetting history here? It seems the GOP had a problem when they tried to name DCA after Ronald Reagan.

A group of House Republicans has introduced legislation to rename Washington Dulles International Airport in Virginia after former President Donald Trump. ... The measure says it would “designate the Washington Dulles International Airport in Virginia as the ‘Donald J. Trump International Airport.’”

I realize that this might seem like an April Fool’s Day joke. It is not. There is an actual piece of pending legislation (H.R.7845), sponsored by Republican Rep. Guy Reschenthaler of Pennsylvania. The bill has even picked up six GOP co-sponsors — Florida’s Michael Waltz, Tennessee’s Andrew Ogles, Tennessee’s Chuck Fleischmann, Arizona’s Paul Gosar, Alabama’s Barry Moore, and Texas’ Troy Nehls — and it’s a safe bet that number will grow.

The trouble, however, is that the effort to rename National Airport after Reagan was initially laughed off, too, right up until it became a major Republican priority.

It’s incredibly easy to imagine the former president seizing on this, investing time and energy into the idea, and making it a litmus-test issue for his congressional allies.
https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/maddowblog/republican-bill-rename-dc-area-airport-trump-rcna146051

OK so let’s think about this here for a minute – the party that literally banned Muslims from the United States and wants to be able to openly murder migrants at the border (see: Idiots #15-6 ) somehow thinks that naming one of America’s largest airports after the guy who made all the death, chaos and corruption possible, is a symbol of freedom? Get the ever loving fuck outta here! And come on, again, are we forgetting history here? Specifically recent history? I mean who’d want to fly into IAD from another given what they did during the Trump administration? Cue all the facepalms.

Northern Virginia Democrats slammed a new House GOP proposal to rename the Washington-area Dulles International Airport after former President Donald Trump.

At issue is a brief two-page proposal, introduced by Rep. Guy Reschenthaler (R-Pa.) on March 29 with half a dozen additional GOP co-sponsors, that would rename the facility the "Donald J. Trump International Airport."

"Donald Trump is facing 91 felony charges. If Republicans want to name something after him, I’d suggest they find a federal prison," Fairfax-area Rep. Gerry Connolly (D-Va.) said in a statement to POLITICO.

He wasn't alone in the criticism. Rep. Don Beyer (D-Va.) recalled the day Trump enacted his executive order barring entry to individuals from certain majority-Muslim countries in 2017 — and that lawmakers went to Dulles to press for legal representation for detainees.

https://www.politico.com/live-updates/2024/04/02/congress/virginia-democrats-slam-trump-dulles-international-airport-naming-idea-00150116

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[font size="8"]Truth Social
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We all know that when that guy who we inexplicably used to call president, Donald J. Trump, started his social media hidey-hole Truth Social, that it wouldn’t last. But what we didn’t know, and probably should have anticipated, is that Truth Social’s parent company Donald J. Trump Media Group, which trades under the NASDAQ symbol $DJT was basically just a giant money laundering operation. Yeah the stock traded at unprecedented highs when it first started. But since then, the stock has been in a total free fall, which market analysts call this scheme the “pump n dump”. Which means that I guess we can call this the “Trump Pump N Dump”. No, that does not refer to the fact that he wears diapers. That’s pretty gross. In fact the $DJT stock is so volatile right now that it’s actually kicked Trump off of the list of America’s billionaires. Yeah imagine spending that much money just to be a shit poster and not face any of the consequences for said shit posting.

Trump Media shares have been slipping in recent days. So has Donald Trump’s net worth.

The former president is no longer listed on the Bloomberg Billionaires Index, a daily ranking of the world’s 500 richest people, after the stock price for Trump Media – the parent company behind the former president’s social media company Truth Social – took a nosedive.

The price has skidded. Shares dipped 12% on Friday and 8% on Monday. And after making up some lost ground on Tuesday, Trump Media nosedived again on Wednesday, ending the day down 8.6% at $34.26. Shares have slid more than 50% since their peak in late March.

Wednesday has been the stock's lowest-trading day since Trump Media merged with the public shell company Digital World Acquisition Corp. and started trading under the ticker DJT on March 26.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2024/04/09/trump-media-stock-price-dip/73260727007/

So first off, imagine naming your company in such a way that your initials are your company’s ticket on the stock tracker. Second, imagine actually purchasing said stock because you think it’s going to make you a rich person. Third, imagine that your idea of becoming as rich as Trump once was, and it completely backfires on you! Well, market experts are totally torn on whether or not the $DJT stock will continue on the trajectory that it’s currently on, or if it will eventually level out. Uh… have you been following Trump lately guys? He’s just going to take the money and run.

Shares of Trump Media have erased all their gains since they began trading under the ticker DJT last month.

The stock closed down more than 8% Monday at $37.17 after falling about 11% earlier in the day. It had traded above $79 a share on March 26, the day of its debut.

But experts say it's hard to draw any firm conclusions about what the stock price's movement means. That's because so many available shares — about 12%, one of the highest ratios of any active stock listing — reflect traders' bets that the stock will fall, said Ihor Dusaniwsky, managing director at S3 Partners, a data and predictive analytics company.

This is called short-selling.

Right now, much of the trading activity surrounding the stock reflects investors’ attempts to position bets around whether it will continue to fall, Dusaniwsky said in an email.
https://www.nbcnews.com/business/markets/trump-media-stock-erases-gains-since-going-public-what-it-means-rcna146859

Yeah what a loser, right? We’ve seen what happens when right wing authoritarian billionaires like Elon Musk buy social media sites – they lose money. In fact Truth Social is the biggest money loser in the social media market since Elon Musk bought Twitter and turned into the right wing shithole currently known as X. But for those of you who insist that Trump is “the people’s president” and that “he cares about us” – you are wrong! He doesn’t even care about his own companies! He treats his companies the same way he treats hurricane victims in Puerto Rico and that piece of toilet paper that got stuck to his shoe that one time.

Former President Donald Trump’s social media company’s stock market slide continued Monday, as the more than $10 billion valuation scored by Trump’s company’s just two weeks ago looks to be fleeting.

Shares of Trump Media, the majority Trump-owned parent of the right-wing social media platform Truth Social, fell 8% Monday to just above $37.

That’s some 54% below the peak $79 per share Trump Media fetched on March 26, its first day of trading under its DJT ticker upon the completion of its reverse merger with blank-check company Digital World Acquisition Corp.

The value of Trump’s 58% stake in Trump Media, has accordingly cratered in the 13-day stretch, falling from $6.25 billion to $2.93 billion.

That knocked his net worth from its March peak of more than $7 billion to $4.8 billion, according to Forbes’ estimates.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/dereksaul/2024/04/08/trumps-stock-officially-down-50-since-first-day-peak--trumps-stake-down-over-3-billion/?sh=7497e6507f5d

Yeah MAGAs – so here’s the thing, someone’s getting rich off $DJT stock, but it ain’t you! It’s definitely him and only him! In fact, the Trump Pump And Dump is going according to plan! And if you don’t know what a pump and dump is, I highly suggest looking it up. It’s a big thing in the crypto world – which again you fall for time and time again. Remember those stupid NFT trading cards you all bought? Or his shoes and Bibles? It’s all a colossal scam. But one person is definitely laughing all the way to the bank and that’s DJT himself. He’s the guy who gets away with it all, and you’re the one who gets f’ed in the a.

Trump Media & Technology Group shares continued to spiral Monday, putting the company's stock on track close at its lowest level since listing on the Nasdaq exchange in late March.

In late-day trading the stock was down $4.15, or more than 10%, to $36.44. The company, whose largest shareholder is former President Donald Trump and which trades under the ticker symbol "DJT," surged to a high of $79.38 after its market debut on March 26, valuing it at more than $9 billion.

Since that peak the stock has fallen 54%, with Trump Media's market capitalization dropping to less than $5 billion.

Trump Media, whose main asset is the social media service Truth Social, generated $4.1 million in revenue in 2023. The company disclosed mounting losses in a regulatory filing earlier this month, while noting its accountant had warned of "substantial doubt about its ability to continue as a growing concern."
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/trump-media-stock-price-truth-social/

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[font size="8"]Republican Fundraising
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You know we’re in an election year and we have been talking poll numbers a lot, but we’ve got to talk about the other side of the equation – fundraising. There was an unprecedented fundraising event a few weeks ago at Radio City Music Hall in New York City that featured a conversation moderated by Stephen Colbert that featured former presidents Obama and Clinton and current president Biden that managed to raise a whopping $30 million. Of course Trump gathered the billionaire sugar daddies of the GOP and managed to corral equally as much. Though we’re not entirely sure if all of that money is going to go to the campaign or his ongoing legal problems. One thing we do know is that Trump is running to stay out of prison and murder anyone who gets in the GOP’s way of absolute power, and that’s about it. But that said, we do want to talk about some good news for a minute. We don’t want you to think that this show is about negativity, is it? What kind of hosts would that make us? Not very good ones! OK, I’m rambling again, let’s get to it.

Donald Trump will be unable to match President Joe Biden's fundraising totals in this year's presidential election race, the Republican candidate's campaign said on Thursday. "We're never gonna be able to raise dollar for dollar with Biden," a Trump campaign adviser said in a call with reporters.

The adviser blamed the fundraising disparity on "billionaire" supporters of the Democratic president, and appeared keen to paint a picture of a Trump campaign fueled by grassroots, working-class supporters.

A second campaign adviser said Trump's campaign is "fueled by hundreds of thousands of grassroots contributors across the country, and I'd much rather have that because each one of those votes."

Asked for a response, Biden campaign spokesperson Ammar Moussa said: "Trump's campaign is strapped for cash."

Read more: https://www.reuters.com/world/us/trump-cant-match-bidens-2024-fundraising-republicans-campaign-says-2024-03-28/

Thank you Nelson! Of course… what’s a GOP candidate without a billionaire sugar daddy or two at their disposal? Yeah Trump’s campaign is broke and going broker. That’s what happens when you fly an aging 757 to rallies out in the middle of nowhere. Yeah remember when small bucks won in 2020? Tetridge Farm remembers! OK… I see one person in the audience got that reference! Well, it seems that the days of small money campaigns are over. It’s the old standby of money talks and bullshit walks. Yeah the RMCH fundraiser brought in unprecedented money. But then Trump had to go counter that because… god forbid people stop paying attention to him for a few seconds!

First Joe Biden’s campaign called in two former presidents for a star-studded fundraiser at Radio City Music Hall that raised $26 million. Then Donald Trump’s campaign countered that it expects to raise $43 million at a fundraiser in Palm Beach, Florida, this weekend.

Gone are the $5,000 Zoom fundraisers of four years ago. Big, in-person fundraisers are back. And with small-dollar fundraising no longer booming, the high-roller events may be more important than ever.

“The in-person fundraising circuit is back, and that’s not limited to the presidential [race]. It’s across the board,” said Ami Copeland, a former deputy finance director for Barack Obama, who was heading into a fundraiser for a congressional candidate during the interview with POLITICO.

Bringing back fancy fundraisers guarantees that “you can get the super big checks out of them” because “high-dollar folks want to make sure they’re in the room,” Copeland said.

https://www.politico.com/news/2024/04/06/big-fundraisers-biden-trump-00150876

Yeah that’s basically Trump in a nutshell right now. Hey look at me!!! So he corralled his billionaire benefactors, or sugar daddies, in for some money. Big deal. And can we talk about how creepy it is to call them “sugar daddies”? They’re trying to buy the presidency and SCOTUS. I mean… damn. And yeah Fox News can declare victory and gloat all they want. But the real story is that Biden is winning on all fronts in the fundraising department. Maybe… just maybe… people are starting to wake up to the dangers of an authoritarian world? We can only hope! But even on the state level, Trump is losing on all fronts big time. Even in Wisconsin, the state that elected Ron Johnson!

For Wisconsin Republicans who believed holding the national convention in Wisconsin later this year would mean an immediate financial windfall for the state party, they will be sadly mistaken, at least for now.

State records show that the state Republican Party brought in $863,553 in its state and federal accounts during the first three months of the year. Of that, $287,650 came in two donations in the past two weeks — $237,650 from Beloit billionaire Diane Hendricks and $50,000 from retired Racine businessman Fred Young.

By contrast, the state Democratic Party raised nearly $9.6 million in both federal and state accounts in the first quarter of the year, a ratio of more than $11 to $1 compared to Democrats.

Among the biggest givers to the state Democrats this year are Silicon Valley investor Reid Hoffman, who contributed $2 million; billionaire financier George Soros, $1 million; and Kenneth Duda, co-founder of cloud networking solutions provider Arista, $1 million.

Read more: https://www.jsonline.com/story/news/politics/elections/2024/04/02/wisconsin-democrats-have-buried-republicans-in-2024-fundraising/73170719007/

Now you might be wondering about alternative campaigns. Yeah… surprisingly nobody has ever talked about Jill Stein and the Green Party during this election cycle. But what about our old buddy and notorious anti-vaxxer conspiracy theorist Robert F. Kennedy Jr? What ever happened to his campaign that seems to have all but disappeared from the airwaves? Well it turns out that even his campaign is hemorrhaging money. So yeah the moral of the story there is don’t work with authoritarian dipshits like Joe Rogan and Steve Bannon. Nothing good ever comes of it! So if you’re keeping score at home, folks, the score currently is: Biden – winning, Trump – losing, RFK Jr – losing even more!

The campaign of independent presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is walking back language used in campaign fundraising emails that referred to January 6 defendants as “activists” who have been “stripped of their constitutional liberties.”

The fundraising appeals, sent to supporters on Wednesday and Thursday, sought to stoke fears of government overreach, a core theme of the campaign, by comparing the plight of Julian Assange, the founder of WikiLeaks whom the emails referred to as a “political prisoner,” with the legal cases against those arrested in connection to the January 6, 2021, attack on the US Capitol.

“We must free Assange now!” the text in both fundraising messages reads. “The Brits want to make sure our government doesn’t kill Assange. This is the reality that every American Citizen faces – from Ed Snowden, to Julian Assange to the J6 activists sitting in a Washington DC jail cell stripped of their Constitutional liberties.”

The language closely parallels the rhetoric former President Donald Trump and his allies use to defend the January 6 rioters.

In a statement to CNN, Kennedy campaign spokesperson Stefanie Spear said the language used in the fundraising emails was “an error.” “That statement was an error that does not reflect Mr. Kennedy’s views. It was inserted by a new marketing contractor and slipped through the normal approval process,” Spear said.

Read more: https://www.cnn.com/2024/04/04/politics/rfk-jr-january-6-fundraising/index.html

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[font size="8"]We’re All Gonna Die
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Hey everyone, guess what? We’re all gonna die! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! WOOOOOOOOOOO. WOOOO. WOO. So what’s going to kill us all this week, you might ask? Well that’s a very good question, and I answer you – more viruses! Yay!!!! Oh come on, kids! Don’t yay that one! But just as we’re emerging from the horrors of the 2020 COVID-19 pandemic, something absolutely unprecedented has happened – we’re seeing the sheer terror of zoonotic viruses emerge again! Zoonotic viruses, for those that don’t know, are viruses that are born in animals and make the leap to humans. Which is what actual experts believe started COVID-19 and not your what cousin’s brother’s case worker’s crazy uncle saw on Youtube. But nevertheless, the sheer terror of what a zoonotic virus can do is once again rearing it’s ugly head with the reemergence of bird flu. Yeah you thought COVID was bad? Things could be a hell of a lot worse!

Bird flu is, famously, a disease that infects birds. But earlier this week, federal and state authorities reported that a person in Texas had tested positive for the disease, the second person in the US to contract avian influenza in the last two years. Stranger still, the patient didn’t contract the disease from a sick chicken or wild bird but from a cow, which was presumably infected with the virus. Rarely, if ever, have mammals infected humans with bird flu.

The Texas patient reported only one mild symptom — namely, pink eye — and is recovering, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Yet the news is the latest in a long string of recent headlines that raise concerns about the risk that bird flu poses to public health.

In the last few years, avian influenza has ravaged domestic flocks, causing farmers to cull chickens by the millions. This week, the virus was detected at a facility run by the largest chicken egg manufacturer in the US and was confirmed in dairy cows in a fifth US state. It has also been decimating wild birds and many marine mammals including seals and sea lions. And the virus continues to spread, so far reaching penguins in Antarctica and at least one polar bear in the Arctic.
https://www.vox.com/health/24118152/explain-it-to-me-bird-flu-human-case-texas-chickens-cows-animal-agriculture

No dude, we’re not gonna die just yet. Yeah sure, we saw that with SARS-COV-2 and trust us when we say that we went down that wormhole already! But yeah everything seems harmless with a new virus, one mutation and BAM! An entire shutdown of the whole world, disrupting supply chains and ruining businesses and commerce for the better part of a year and a half! Yeah we can already see the MAGA conspiracy theorists right now clenching their pearls and then they’ll be yelling “HA HA! See? We told you so you stupid liberal snowflakes!!!”. I can’t even with these morons. And by the way, you know who isn’t helping? Elon Musk. Yeah the Tesla / Space X / X/Twitter CEO has been laughing about the bird flu reemergence and of course… being an ass about it.

Over the past 20 years, more than 400 million birds have either died from bird flu or from being culled to prevent its spread.

Now, recent cases of bird flu in cats, cows and humans have raised the alarm of another serious pandemic.

Bird flu is of particular concern to epidemiologists because of how lethal it is when humans get infected, with mortality rates around 50%.

The good news for humans is that so far, it's proven hard to catch. Close contact with sick birds presents the highest risk of infection for the relatively rare disease.

The possibility of a mutation increasing the transmissibility of bird flu has scientists on high alert and has put renewed attention on controversial gain-of-function research.
https://finance.yahoo.com/news/elon-musk-once-slammed-fauci-200014066.html

No! No one is going to die just yet! It’s only been detected in animals so far and one case in humans. Just one! But imagine the insanity of the MAGA anti-vaxxer crowd where they’re actively trying to murder the one guy who was actually trying to help. And by the way, have we learned absolutely nothing from current disease outbreaks? Because guess what may have been the answer as to what caused the latest bird flu hysteria? Cannibal Cows. Which by the way, awesome rock band, I saw them at the Troubadour last weekend. But yes… the same thing that caused Mad Cow may have caused the latest bird flu outbreak. Just… what the actual fuck.

Fears are growing that the H5N1 outbreak among cattle in the United States could have been caused by contaminated animal feed.

In contrast to Britain and Europe, American farmers are still allowed to feed cattle and other farm animals ground-up waste from other animals including birds.

Dairy cows across six US states – and at least one farm worker – have become infected with the highly pathogenic virus, which has already killed millions of animals across the globe since 2021.

The farm worker, who is thought to have been exposed via infected cattle in Texas, is only the second recorded human H5N1 case in the US. Since February, the US has investigated and discounted a further 8,000 possible exposures, according to Dr Joshua Mott, WHO senior advisor on influenza.
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/global-health/science-and-disease/chicken-waste-fed-to-cattle-may-be-behind-bird-flu-outbreak/

Seriously! Farmers of the world, stop trying to make Soylent Cows a thing! It’s bad for the environment, it’s bad for cows! And it’s bad for… YOU!

Yeah people, we’ve seen how this movie ends, and it doesn’t end well. Creating a race of cannibalistic cows can’t be good and it will probably be one of the catalysts that lead to the zombie apocalypse. You can’t prove that it won’t, can you? The good news for now is that we’re safe because it’s not exactly transmittable between human beings… for now. Yes, we all know what happened with SARS-COV-2, is that one mutation and BAM! Entire world shuts down. We were caught off guard last time, but this time we’re ready. We hope!

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has issued a health alert after a person in Texas was infected with bird flu. The person, a farm worker at a commercial dairy farm in Texas, is only the second person in the U.S. to test positive for the disease.

The alert issued Friday said the current risk posed by Highly Pathogenic Avian Influenza A (H5N1) Virus, commonly known as bird flu, remains low. People exposed to infected birds, cattle or other animals at a higher risk of infection should take extra precaution, CDC warned.

The recent positive test involved a farm worker on a commercial dairy farm in Texas. The person developed conjunctivitis, or pink eye, at the end of March and later tested positive for bird flu, which had been circulating in the area’s dairy cattle and wild birds. There have been no previous reports of the spread of the virus from cows to humans, CDC said, and human-to-human transmission has not been identified.
https://www.al.com/news/2024/04/health-alert-issued-by-cdc-person-tests-positive-for-bird-flu-only-2nd-human-case-in-us.html

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit


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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:



My fair congregation! Please be seated! You know, ever since our fine parish was established – we’ve only ever had one rule, but tonight, we may unfortunately have to break that rule. And that rule is that we never, ever mention the unholy, ungodly Dark One, by name in my church! He is so foul, so depraved, so disgusting, that his name DARE NOT be spoken in my church! In fact even around the office, we refer to him as “He who shall not be named”! Why is that you may ask? Because last week, my fair congregation, a line was crossed that should not be! Yes, the man himself put his name on the Good Book. Because he just can’t help but stick his greedy fingers in places where they don’t belong, and unprecedented greed is one of the cardinal sins of our religion, is it not? And in fact by running for president and endorsing this ungodly mess of a monstrosity, he’s ripping apart the very fabric that our great nation was founded on! Come on, man! Stay in your lane! Oh wait, hawking cheesy merchandise is his lane. I realize that this segment may violate IRS 503(c) rules, but fuck it, we’re taking a stand!

Former President Donald Trump is bringing together church and state in a gilded package for his latest venture, a $60 "God Bless The USA" Bible complete with copies of the nation's founding documents.

Trump announced the launch of the leather-bound, large-print, King James Bible in a post on Truth Social on Tuesday — a day after the social media company surged in its trading debut and two days after a New York appeals court extended his bond deadline to comply with a ruling in a civil fraud case and slashed the bond amount by 61%.

"Happy Holy Week! Let's Make America Pray Again," Trump wrote. "As we lead into Good Friday and Easter, I encourage you to get a copy of the God Bless The USA Bible."

The Bible is inspired by "God Bless the USA," the patriotic Lee Greenwood anthem that has been a fixture at many a Trump rally (and has a long political history dating back to Ronald Reagan). It is the only Bible endorsed by Trump as well as Greenwood, according to its promotional website.
https://www.npr.org/2024/03/27/1241186975/donald-trump-bible-god-bless-usa

Well, are you going to tell your congregation to stop voting for him? No? Then it’s time to put up or shut up, good sir! I say good day! Because every day you don’t put a stop to the unholy Dark One’s messes, you’re just further enabling him and his followers. And going on the Dark One’s favorite talk shows certainly isn’t helping, either! But the reactions to the unholy Dark One’s grifting his followers by hawking this ridiculous and pathetic Bible are definitely not what you’d see on prime time news. In fact it's split congregations across the US right down the middle! But it’s really telling as to who’s actually buying this thing as to where they currently stand.

The $59.99 Bible, which was first published in 2021, features an American flag and the words “God Bless the USA” printed on the cover. Inside, it has the words to “God Bless the USA” and the text of The Declaration of Independence, the Pledge of Allegiance and other historic American documents. Promotional material for the Bible shows the former president alongside country singer Lee Greenwood.

Responses to Trump’s social media announcement called the endorsement “sacrilege,” “heresy” and “borderline offensive” and cite lessons directly from the Bible that suggest taking advantage of people’s faith for money should be condemned.

“It is a bankrupt Christianity that sees a demagogue co-opting our faith and even our holy scriptures for the sake of his own pursuit of power and praise him for it rather than insist that we refuse to allow our sacred faith and scriptures to become a mouthpiece for an empire,” said Rev. Benjamin Cremer on X.

Jason Cornwall, a pastor from South Carolina, said on X that Trump’s Bible endorsement was a violation of one of the Ten Commandments of the Hebrew Testament that forbids taking God’s name in vain.
https://www.cnn.com/2024/03/28/us/donald-trump-bible-christianity-cec/index.html

Of course it is, good reverend! But I ask you, despite that this latest attempt by the unholy Dark One was equal parts money and power grab, is it OK that he’s allowed to tear apart the very fabric of what this country was founded on? We might be one of the rare churches in America that still accepts the principles of separation of church and state! Why is the media just making light of this? Why are they not hammering how reckless and stupid it is? I just don’t know. Again it’s why we cannot have nice things in this country! But while everyone is gawking at the Dark One for this pathetic grift, let’s ask a real man of GAWD what he thinks!

Sen. Raphael Warnock, D-Ga., on Sunday excoriated former President Donald Trump over the $60 Bibles he is selling in partnership with country music star Lee Greenwood.

Warnock, who serves as senior pastor at Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta, condemned Trump for selling the Christian holy text at a high price during an interview on CNN.

“The Bible does not need Donald Trump’s endorsement, and Jesus, in the very last week of his life, chased the money changers out of the temple, those who would take sacred things and use them as cheap relics to be sold in the marketplace,” he said. “The sad thing is that none of us are surprised by this — this is what we expect from the former president.”

Warnock pointed to Trump’s failed business ventures including steaks and the defunct Trump University, both of which have faced legal repercussions.
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2024-election/sen-raphael-warnock-slams-trump-selling-bibles-rcna145767

Yes, we tend to side with Senator Warnock on this one! But come on, you can’t get a much more pathetic attempt to pander to the crazies than this here. And Make America Pray Again? That’s just so pathetic that there are no words to describe it. Look at this country – there’s 300,000 churches across the United States and there’s only 400 Whole Foods. Yeah make that make sense! He’s really desperate to get the church vote, and quite frankly, the desperation is starting to reek. And he’s got more cheesy merchandise out there than Krusty The Klown does! But it’s totally insane that the media isn’t just hounding the Dark One for all the stupid merchandise he’s hawked over the last two years. Insane!

Few politicians have commanded the loyalty of the religious right like former President Trump, whose decision to begin selling $60 Bibles for Holy Week has outraged his critics — but drawn little reaction from evangelical leaders.

Why it matters: Trump has developed a sense of impunity when it comes to religious messaging, forged through a grand compromise with Christian conservatives who see him as a flawed — but effective — champion of their movement.

Hawking Bibles is just the latest example.

Flashback: Trump was neither a regular churchgoer nor prone to displays of faith before running for president. His 2016 campaign produced a series of memorable gaffes as he courted the GOP's evangelical base.
https://www.axios.com/2024/03/28/trump-bibles-christianity-easter

That’s the problem with this crowd – they do hang on his every word! And he is evil incarnate, my fair congregation! Whew, I made it through this segment without breaking my one rule! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:




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[font size="8"]This Fucking Guy: Don Hankey
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This week’s This Fucking Guy is Don Hankey. You might not know his name, but if you’ve ever tried to take out a sub-prime auto loan in Los Angeles or the greater state of California, you definitely have heard of his company. His company, Knight Insurance, is famous for providing bonds to people who need them, and is also famous for screwing poor people out of their money. So it’s no secret that their CEO, Don Hankey, supports Donald Trump. Yes, his name got in the news last week because he provided Trump with the bailout money that he needed as basically a way of avoiding jail for yet another week in the ongoing securities fraud case in New York, yet another one of the 1,000,000,000,000 trials that Trump is currently facing. But come on, Mr. Hankey, you can’t bullshit your way out of the “we just provide loans to people” guise. It doesn’t work that way. But just like Clarence Thomas’ billionaire Nazi sugar daddy Harlan Crow (see: Idiots #300 ), you can’t count out a good right wing Nazi billionaire to bail out a megalomaniacal wannabe dictator too soon! Come on, won’t you please donate your hard earned cash to Trump’s increasing legal funds today?

Former President Donald Trump and his co-defendants in his New York civil fraud case on Monday posted a bond of $175 million, following a judge's ruling that they had for years misrepresented the value of his properties. The bond is underwritten by an insurance company run by a billionaire, who got his start making high-risk, high-interest loans to car buyers with poor credit.

Don Hankey, the executive whose company provided the bond, is a little-known mogul who built his $7.4 billion fortune through car dealerships and providing subprime auto loans, according to Forbes magazine. That makes him richer than Trump, whom Forbes estimates is worth $6.4 billion, including his multibillion stake in the newly public Trump Media & Technology Group.

Hankey, who told The Associated Press he has never met nor spoken with Trump, said his Knight Speciality Insurance company provided both cash and bonds as collateral for Trump's appellate bond. That bond is now essentially a placeholder that will guarantee payment if the judgment against Trump is upheld on appeal.

"This is what we do at Knight Insurance, and we're happy to do this for anyone who needs a bond," Hankey told the wire service.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/trump-don-hankey-billionaire-175-million-bond-who-is-he/

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Oh come on, bull fucking shit! You know damn well when you wrote that check what you were doing. Come on, stop with that crap already. The sooner you admit, the better! But that begs an even greater question, you might ask – where the hell is Trump getting all of his money? And who’s funding him to go around the country to spew his bullshit to his ever-decreasing base that still will listen to him no matter what? Well, I answer you – the answer lies in a little known California bank called Axos, of which – yup, you guessed it – Mr. Hankey is a member and shareholder of!

WASHINGTON — Donald Trump left the White House facing a cash crunch and a tattered reputation after his attempts to overturn the 2020 election, threatening the viability of his business empire. Soon, though, a new source stepped forward to provide a financial lifeline when many longtime lenders refused.

Over the past two years, Axos Bank, as well as its largest individual shareholder, California billionaire Don Hankey, have collectively extended more than $500 million in financing that has benefited Trump, records show. The cash influx has helped Trump to pay off debts and pocket a tidy profit while escaping from a lease on his money-losing former hotel in Washington.

It also covered a $175 million down payment he made this week on an eye-popping civil fraud penalty.

Axos Bank officials as well as Hankey have said that the deals offer them a financial upside.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2024/04/04/trump-axos-bank-don-hankey-loans-ethics/0a76802c-f2bd-11ee-a4c9-88e569a98b58_story.html

Oh come on, most people can’t even get a loan for $500. How the fuck are these guys getting $200 million dollars? It’s almost like, again something we’ve been saying for years, is that white right wing billionaires almost have an entirely different system of justice for you and I! As George Carlin said, it’s a big club and we’re not in it! But this is my favorite part of this whole story is that the whole reason Mr. Hankey loaned Trump the money is because – wait for it – he’s going to get charged a “lower fee”. To which the rest of America is asking – “Are you fucking kidding me???”. Do you follow the news at all, Mr. Hankey? If you did, you know Trump has a history of not paying his bills, which is par for the course for the MAGA / Infowars crowd. Which, if we were placing a bet, we’d bet good money that there ain’t no way he’s paying that back.

Don Hankey, the billionaire businessman whose company Knight Specialty Insurance provided the $175 million bond that Donald Trump posted in his New York civil fraud case, told Reuters that the fee his firm charged the former U.S. President was low.

Hankey, who backed Trump as a presidential candidate in 2016 and has said he supports his re-election, has maintained that providing the bond was a business decision. He declined to disclose the fee, but said it was low because Knight did not think there was much risk involved.

Lawyers say surety companies typically charge a fee of between 1% and 2% of the face value of the bond.

Hankey said he now feels Knight did not charge Trump enough because of New York Attorney General Letitia James' subsequent scrutiny of the bond, as well as the media attention around it. "We thought it would be an easy procedure that wouldn't involve other legal problems and it's not turning out that way. We probably didn't charge enough," Hankey said in an interview.
https://www.reuters.com/legal/businessman-behind-trumps-ny-bond-says-he-charged-him-low-fee-2024-04-05/

Right??? You’re helping a guy who wants to be dictator “on day one” – yes, his words – and your only concern is that you didn’t charge enough? What the actual fuck? Trump is trying to skirt his legal bills and prolong his trials so that they don’t interfere with his plans to become dictator and that’s your pathetic excuse? I mean…. Just… AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! The stupid!!! Well, guess what? You know first off your bailout is an admission of guilt. Which means that Trump is definitely guilty of something. What he's guilty of still varies depending on what talk shows you watch. And again, it also highlights the dangers of treating your clients like a line item on a spending bill and not the person. In today’s chapter of “why can’t we have nice things in this country?”…

When a sub-prime lender and a real estate fraud get together to post a bond, raucous hilarity ensues.

In shocking news, Donald Trump's financial savior, Don Hankey, is backfiring spectacularly in his shady attempt to curry favor with the Orange Menace. Sneaky language, insufficient funds, and Hankey's big mouth seem to be problematic.

In reality, though, a strict reading of "Bond No. 350588" shows that even the smaller company isn't technically on the hook for paying out the $175 million if higher courts ultimately cement his loss to the AG.

Buried in the typical legalese of the contract is the phrase: "Knight Specialty Insurance Company… does hereby… undertake that if the judgment… is dismissed… Donald J. Trump… shall pay… the sum directed."
https://boingboing.net/2024/04/08/attempting-to-buy-donald-trump-seems-to-have-put-don-hankey-in-jeopardy.html

That’s Trump’s billionaire fraudster sugar daddy and sub-prime auto loan kingpin Don Hankey. This week’s:




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[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner
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Welcome back to our segment that attempts to explain the unexplainable, Conspiracy Corner! Of course conspiracies exist when people simply don’t want to read the article past the headlines and just flat out make shit up. We of course are coming to you live from our underground doomsday shelter from deep within the New Mexico badlands. Undisclosed location, of course! Let me just adjust my trusty tin foil hat for maximum government interference. Ah, there we go! They are trying to read yours and my thoughts after all! This week, there was a conspiracy theory being floated on the Charlie Kirk show that suggested that if the electoral votes were divided, and there were 270 votes for the red team and 270 votes for the blue team, that the one lone Nebraska electoral vote from NV-3, the district that is the home to the state’s capitol, Omaha, could be the key to who wins the 2024 election. But really, is America *THAT* split down the middle? In the last election, Joe Biden defeated Donald Trump by a margin of 7 million votes. But population demographics haven’t changed that much drastically in the last 4 years, so let’s test that theory.

The resurrection of the state bill was sparked this week by Charlie Kirk, the chief executive of Turning Point USA, a pro-Trump conservative advocacy group, who pressed the state legislature to move forward on social media.

Former President Donald J. Trump quickly endorsed the governor’s “very smart letter” on his social media site.

And for good reason. If Mr. Biden were to hold Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania, but lose Georgia, Arizona, Nevada and the one Nebraska vote he took in 2020, the electoral college would be deadlocked at 269 votes each. The House would then decide the victor, not by total votes but by the votes of each state delegation. That would almost certainly give the election to Mr. Trump.

But that Sun-Belt-sweep-plus-one scenario still might be out of reach. Democrats in the legislature expressed confidence on Tuesday that they could filibuster the measure, and the state legislative session is set to end on April 18.
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/03/us/politics/nebraska-republicans-electoral-system-trump.html

Yeah so that’s one scenario that conservatives have been floating as their plan to take the 2024 election, should the scenario arise! So why are they so bent on changing Nebraska’s rules? Well because they’re an insane cult run by a megalomanical mad man who’s out for world domination and is part of a growing world wide fascist empire, that’s why. So of course they’re going to do anything and everything to hang onto the power they once had, because they’re still apparently drunk with it and it’s going to take everything we have to knock them down from that pedestal!

Donald Trump wanted Nebraska Republicans to change the state’s electoral vote rules — in a way that would likely flip one electoral vote from Biden to him.

But on Wednesday night, the GOP-dominated Nebraska state legislature said no. An effort to attach the proposal to another bill failed, with just 8 votes in favor and 36 against.

State Sen. Julie Slama (R), who supported the proposal, wrote on X afterward that the proposal was dead for this year: “It won’t come up for a vote again.”

Nebraska currently has an unusual way of distributing its five electoral votes. Rather than giving them all to the statewide winner — as 48 other states do — it awards two votes to the statewide winner, and the rest go to the winner in each of Nebraska’s three congressional districts.
https://www.vox.com/politics/2024/4/3/24119984/nebraska-electoral-college-vote-trump-biden-kirk

OK that’s way too much tin foil! But think about this – one vote. What if the entire election came down to one single vote. That would be like your favorite March Madness team losing by one three pointer at the last second. But unlike your typical March Madness tournament, this could have the potential to affect change around the world, which right now seems like it’s for the worst. And we have to stop it at all costs. So what exactly would happen under this newly proposed “winner take all” system? Well Nebraska would join the rest of the country, except for New Hampshire, in having their entire state decided by the full vote count. Which if it came down to that, could be disastrous.

By the time conservative activist Charlie Kirk took the stage, there was no doubt that it was Donald Trump who had led him to travel to Nebraska and pressure state lawmakers to adopt a “winner-take-all” system of awarding Electoral College votes.

“You see what’s ahead of us,” Kirk said Tuesday night at a rally before a crowd of about 500. “Trump vs. Biden is bigger than just an election. It is a civilizational survival question.”

Kirk joined the Nebraska Republican Party, currently led by Trump loyalists, to hold the rally Tuesday in an evangelical Christian church located in a southwest Omaha shopping center. While about 500 people packed the room in which Kirk spoke, about 400 more were in overflow rooms set up elsewhere in the church, said spokesman Andrew Kolvet of Turning Point, the pro-Trump organization that Kirk helped establish.

Most of those attending roared approval every time Trump's name was mentioned.
https://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/national-state-gop-figures-gather-omaha-push-winner-109067801

So there you have it, yet another attempt that’s going to possibly flip the 2024 election to Orange Asshole that might be decided by one vote. But again, I ask you, my fair audience- are we really that divided? The answer is a big fat NO. That’s what Trump and Fox News are counting on, though, is for us to be that divided going into the election. In fact, they’re gearing up for Bush V Gore 2, and if it comes down to it, you just know that Fox News is going to find some way to flip the election towards their Golden Calf. Let’s make sure it doesn’t come down to that! Thankfully there’s cooler heads in Nebraska that have put a stop to this… for now. Don’t think they won’t try something, though!

Efforts to revert Nebraska’s electoral system to winner-takes-all of the presidential popular vote are being reignited as Republican Gov. Jim Pillen and other GOP state leaders push for a special legislative session to get a bill passed.

Pillen confirmed late Tuesday evening that there isn’t enough time in the current legislative session to resolve the issue, as the session ends on April 18. He did, however, enthusiastically endorse the idea of triggering a special session after a rally in Omaha organized by Charlie Kirk, a conservative talk show host and ardent supporter of former President Donald Trump.

“I am steadfast in my commitment to get winner-take-all over the finish line, thereby honoring our constitutional founding, unifying our state and ending the three-decade-old mistake of allocating Nebraska’s electoral votes differently than all but one other state,” Pillen said in a social media post. “I will sign WTA (winner-take-all) into law the moment the Legislature gets it to my desk.”

But holding a special session doesn’t guarantee a favorable result as several Republicans in the Legislature are not keen to make a change during an election year, according to the Nebraska Examiner. Even with a 33-vote majority in the 49-member Legislature, the GOP continues to fall short of the necessary votes.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/elections/2024/04/10/nebraska-gov-jim-pillen-winner-take-all/73273902007/

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink: Insane Eclipse Theories
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Hey everyone, I don’t know about you, but I could really use a drink!



Of course, you know the idea behind this segment is that we have some drinks, and while we are drinking, we talk about literally anything in the news as long as it is not about politics! Because, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there’s a lot of really dark shit in the news right now, and sometimes the only solution is to crack open a cold one or two or three and escape reality for a bit. And don’t worry, my sober brothers and sisters, we got you covered too! Just grab a glass of your favorite coffee, tea or energy drink and come get wired with us! This week, the subject on the table is bugs! And not just any bugs – the ever-annoying cicada is back and hoo boy, if you thought they were annoying and terrible before, you ain’t seen nothing yet! So tell me, bartender, what goes well with a story about a cicada mating frenzy? A cicada martini? What’s in that? Well that’s a really dirty martini! Wait, those things are edible? Seriously? Hard pass. I’ll stick to my usual Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. Sometimes, you got to stick with the classics! Anyway, the cicadas are out for a mating frenzy this year unlike anything that’s ever been seen before, and if you’ve ever seen that Futurama episode, you know what I am talking about!

Trillions of evolution's bizarro wonders, red-eyed periodical cicadas that have pumps in their heads and jet-like muscles in their rears, are about to emerge in numbers not seen in decades and possibly centuries.

Crawling out from underground every 13 or 17 years, with a collective song as loud as jet engines, the periodical cicadas are nature's kings of the calendar.

These black bugs with bulging eyes differ from their greener-tinged cousins that come out annually. They stay buried year after year, until they surface and take over a landscape, covering houses with shed exoskeletons and making the ground crunchy.

This spring, an unusual cicada double dose is about to invade a couple parts of the United States in what University of Connecticut cicada expert John Cooley called "cicada-geddon." The last time these two broods came out together in 1803 Thomas Jefferson, who wrote about cicadas in his Garden Book but mistakenly called them locusts, was president.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/cicada-insect-broods-2024-biggest-in-centuries/

Oh come on!!! You know that if you follow the end times timeline, locusts naturally follow a plague, which we are still coming out of! And you know usually when there’s plague, what follows is an age of enlightenment, but we seem to be heading in the opposite direction. Oh yeah that’s right, no politics at the bar, I apologize! Getting back on track, the frenzy seems to be massive and it’s something that is a once in a lifetime occurrence, much like the solar eclipse that we just experienced. So how many of these bugs can we expect? Well, to put it in technical terms, a shit ton. How much is a shit ton? Let us know in the comments! And it’s happening not once, but twice!

It’s official: 2024 belongs to the cicadas.

This spring, two different broods of cicadas — one that lives on a 13-year cycle and the other that lives on a 17-year cycle — will emerge at the same time from underground in a rare, synchronized event that last occurred in 1803.

Billions of the winged insects will make an appearance across the Midwest and the Southeast, beginning in some places in late April, for a raucous mating ritual that tends to inspire fascination and annoyance in equal measure.

This year’s dual emergence is a once-in-a-lifetime event. While any given 13-year brood and 17-year brood can occasionally emerge at the same time, each specific pair will see their cycles aligned only once every 221 years. What’s more, this year’s cicada groups, known as Brood XIII and Brood XIX, happened to make their homes adjacent to one another, with a narrow overlap in central Illinois.
https://www.nbcnews.com/science/science-news/cicadas-2024-emergence-periodical-brood-2024-map-cicada-rcna134152

Yeah sure, drinking Jack looks so much cooler when it’s in black and white, doesn’t it? In fact why don’t we switch for the rest of the segment? And come on, let’s check the frenzy meter, shall we?



It’s full, ladies and gentlemen! The frenzy has reached maximum potential! We did it! Yes!!! Success, success! But here’s one area that could be greatly affected that no one had anticipated – golf courses, yes, that could be a potential nightmare for course owners. Yes, that guy too! Again, no politics at the bar, sir! So what could happen if these tiny insects invade your favorite golf course? Do you get a mulligan or a do over? I guess the house limit is 3 do overs! And come on, man, never ever bet against the house!

Golfers beware: an invasion is coming.

A historic cicada invasion will impact golf courses in 17 different states starting in May and lasting into early summer. According to NBC News, two separate periodical cicada "broods" will emerge simultaneously in 17 states this year. This co-emergence hasn't occurred in 221 years and won't happen again until 2245.

As if unpredictable weather and ever-increasing violent storms and natural disasters weren't problematic enough for golf courses these days.

Golfers in Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, North Carolina, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Tennessee, Wisconsin and Virginia are the ones most likely to be affected by up to trillions of cicada. The Brood XIII and Brood XIX are the large periodical cicada swarms emerging at the same time in different states simultaneously this year.
https://www.golfpass.com/travel-advisor/articles/cicada-invasion-golf-course

So how is the cicada population expected to get as high as it’s being predicted? Well there’s going to be two waves of the insects incoming in mostly various parts of the southern US. And these things will be next to impossible to get rid of as their numbers multiply. You’d better get used to it, because 2024 is going to be the year of these things. They’re probably already in your backyard right now. There’s going to be a lot of bug mating this year. Because come on, a once in a lifetime frenzy is a once in a lifetime frenzy, so let’s get mating!

For the first time in centuries, two separate regional "broods" of cicadas are set to arise and invade parts of the United States, with experts saying that up to a trillion — yes, that's "trillion" with a "t" — of the screeching insects may descend upon the unsuspecting populace.

As the New York Times reports, the end of April will bring the activation of Brood XIX, or the "Great Southern Brood," and Brood XIII, the "Northern Illinois Brood" — an intersection that last struck in 1803, when Thomas Jefferson was still president.

Roughly 16 states in the Southeast and Midwest will soon play host to this rare drama, which according to the NYT differs in scale from the regular cicada cycles folks in those states are used to experiencing every year.

For most people who connote cicada song with lazy, sepia-toned summer days, the thought of a trillion-strong cicada invasion seems about as unlikely as an earthquake rocking New York City. As a third of the country is soon going to find out, however, these creepy crawlies are pretty freaky-looking up close.
https://uk.news.yahoo.com/one-trillion-bugs-bulging-eyes-194218434.html

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[font size="8"] Stupidest State 2024
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16 states will enter and only one state will become the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!



Well, we come into this week with some absolutely shocking news – Florida was caught cheating in its’ rout of Arizona and has been removed from this year’s tournament. The NFFSA board convened in Inglewood, California to review the accusations and booted Florida from the tournament. They will later decide what further punishment awaits Florida. Moving on, the Elite 8 is shaping up! Last week, we had our first upset of the tournament as #4 South Dakota sank a strong challenge from Nevada to advance to the Elite 8! Meanwhile, over in the Gun Nut Conference, Texas absolutely dominated Georgia by a score of 23 to advance to their 4th consecutive Elite 8! This week it’s the last week of Round 1 as #3 Louisiana looks to fend off #4 Kentucky to play Arizona in the Batshit Conference finals! And over in the Family Values Conference, #3 Oklahoma is challenging #4 North Carolina to advance! We’re live at the home of the San Diego St. Aztecs, the Viejas Arena in San Diego, for all the exciting action! Let’s go to the floor, shall we?

[font size="4"]Batshit Conference: Louisiana Vs Kentucky[/font]

[font size="4"]Louisiana[/font]

Ah……. Looooooooooooooooooosiana is back for another go-round in the Family Values Conference! So the Bayou State, as we’ve established, is one of the most politically volatile states in the entire United States Of America. It’s the home to New Orleans, which is the home of amazing creole food, the New Orleans Saints, and the New Orleans Pelicans. It’s also home of the bizarre right wing push to ban pornography. As you know, the current House Speaker and former porn addict Mike Johnson hails from the Bayou State city of Baton Rouge. And of course his totally normal and not at all super creepy behavior is very well documented. So it’s only natural that this is happening in the rest of his home state.

Louisiana residents looking to get their New Year's jollies were met this week by an age verification request before accessing online porn.

As of Sunday, Jan. 1, a new law requires websites containing 33.3% or more pornographic content to verify individuals' age using a government-issued form of identification.

The goal of HB 142(Opens in a new window)—introduced last year by Rep. Laurie Schlegel (R-LA) and approved in June by Gov. John Bel Edwards—aims to not only keep anyone under the age of 18 from watching porn, but to hold accountable the websites that readily supply it.

"Pornography is creating a public health crisis and having a corroding influence on minors," the legislation text says. "Due to advances in technology, the universal availability of the internet, and limited age verification requirements, minors are exposed to pornography earlier in age."
https://www.pcmag.com/news/louisiana-law-requires-id-to-view-porn

How about this: How about instead of trying to ban things, why don’t you… I don’t know… properly educate people? You know what else is very rampant in the Bayou State right now? Rodents! That’s right – budget cuts have hindered the city of N’awlins and well, this is a truly unbelievable and totally disgusting story. And of course, once again it’s the byproduct of conservatives doing everything they can to avoid paying taxes. Or doing the right thing.

Heavy mold and deteriorating elevators, HVAC units and plumbing are some of the issues that have been plaguing New Orleans Police Department headquarters.

But those aren't the only problems at aging police facilities around the criminal justice complex near Tulane Avenue and South Broad Street. Don't forget the vermin, NOPD Superintendent Anne Kirkpatrick told the City Council's Criminal Justice Committee on Monday.

"The rats are eating our marijuana," Kirkpatrick said. "They're all high."

Rodents have infested police headquarters, scattering feces across desks and feasting on narcotics in the department's evidence room, she said. Cockroaches are also abundant.

"It is not just at police headquarters. It is all the districts. The uncleanliness is off the charts," Kirkpatrick said. "The janitorial cleaning (team) deserves an award trying to clean what is uncleanable."

https://www.nola.com/news/crime

[font size="4"]Kentucky[/font]

The Bluegrass State is always a favorite in this conference, though they have yet to advance beyond the Elite 8 or win a title. But that’s because it’s home to some of the most volatile politics in the entire country and you never know where they are going to land, but they’re always full of surprises. But the reason Kentucky makes it in the tournament every year is because they’re home to two of the consistently worst senators in the entire country, who somehow keep getting reelected despite that they are so terrible – Mitch McConnell and Rand Paul. But they’re not the only crazy lawmakers in the entire state. There’s definitely this.

A bill that will undo efforts in Kentucky’s two largest cities to ban landlords from discriminating against renters who use federal housing vouchers was restored Wednesday when Republican lawmakers quickly overrode the Democratic governor’s veto.

The lopsided override votes in the House and Senate, completing work on the bill, came a day after Gov. Andy Beshear vetoed the legislation. The governor, who won reelection last November, touted his veto at a Tuesday rally that commemorated a landmark civil rights march 60 years ago in Kentucky’s capital city.

It was Beshear’s first veto of this year’s legislative session, but more are expected amid policy clashes between the Democratic governor and the legislature’s GOP supermajorities. The governor saw his vetoes routinely overridden during his first term, and the script was the same on Wednesday.

The latest clash came over the bill to block local ordinances prohibiting landlord discrimination against renters relying on federal housing assistance, including Section 8 vouchers. Such bans on source-of-income discrimination in housing were approved in Louisville and Lexington — the state’s two largest cities. The legislation will nullify those ordinances, the bill’s supporters said.

Read more: https://apnews.com/article/kentucky-legislature-housing-69c3aabf4c072a492ddfb65e0755d945

Yeah why don’t we just start booing these people out of existence? Their ideas are terrible and they are terrible people, but the echo chamber wants this in power. Again – another reason why we cannot have nice things in this country! But in case you’re wondering – the answer is no, we’re not going to get rid of these extremely terrible politicians anytime soon as long as gerrymandering exists. And once again, elections have consequences. So yeah it’s like that scene from Animal House. The beatings will continue until morale improves.

Kentucky’s recently redrawn congressional and legislative districts will stand for future elections.

In an opinion published Thursday morning, the Kentucky Supreme Court affirmed Franklin Circuit Judge Thomas Wingate’s previous decision that the maps were a result of “partisan gerrymanders” but did not find them unconstitutional.

“Regardless of how unusual or eye-raising it may be, we must not erase it unless it plainly leaves the four corners of our constitutional frame,” the opinion, written by Justice Angela McCormick Bisig, says. “In applying the substantially deferential standard we afford to purely political acts by a coordinate branch of government, we perceive no such constitutional infirmity and thus affirm the trial court’s conclusion that the redistricting statutes pass constitutional muster.”

Kentucky Democrats filed the lawsuit after the Republican supermajority in the General Assembly adopted the maps last year. The Supreme Court decided to hear the case earlier this year, bypassing the Court of Appeals.

Read more: https://kentuckylantern.com/2023/12/14/kentucky-supreme-court-affirms-voting-districts-in-gerrymandering-challenge/

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is: [/font]

Folks, we have a very close one here! Louisiana is up by 5 with one minute to go… Kentucky got called on a foul. First shot… it’s a hit! Second shot… oh also a hit! Louisiana now has the ball! And they’re going for.. 3! YES!! And that’s game! Louisiana hangs on and will advance to play Arizona in the Elite 8! Final score: 93 – 87!

[font size="4"]Family Values Conference: Oklahoma Vs North Carolina[/font]

[font size="4"]Oklahoma[/font]

The Sooner State has long been a favorite in the Family Values Conference. Because it’s the home of some absolutely giant churches. It’s also a state that’s been absolutely decimated by Fox News and the Murdoch cult, going hard red for Trump in 2020. Unfortunately this state looks to get even redder in the upcoming years. Especially since the man who is currently leading Oklahoma schools is a guy who was appointed by Fox News to run the job and he recently hired batshit crazy, notorious social media troll and alleged Jan. 6th rioter Chaya Raichick, who goes by the Twitter / X handle @libsoftiktok. This is an account that’s famous for doxing teachers and doctors and anyone who supports the LGBT agenda, especially the T part. Hiring her in an education role is like giving the alcoholic the keys to the liquor cabinet and your car.

Chaya Raichik, the owner of the viral X account "Libs of TikTok," joined Oklahoma's Library Media Advisory Committee on Tuesday. The announcement was made by State Superintendent Ryan Walters, who called Raichik a "powerful voice to protect Oklahoma kids from porn in schools and woke indoctrination."

"Libs of TikTok" is an X account with over 2.8 million followers that reposts TikTok videos of users sharing liberal views while adding conservative commentary. The account led by Raichik has often been accused of criticizing, for example, pro-LGBTQ discourse and pro-abortion rights views.

In his announcement that Raichik would join the advisory board, Walters praised the account owner for her work.

"Chaya is on the front lines showing the world exactly what the radical left is all about - lowering standards, porn in schools, and pushing woke indoctrination on our kids," said Walters. "Because of her work, families across the country know just what is going on in schools around the country. Her unique perspective is invaluable as part of my plan to make Oklahoma schools safer for kids and friendly to parents. Chaya has a much-needed and powerful voice as well as a tremendous platform that will benefit Oklahoma students and their families."

https://themessenger.com/politics/libs-of-tiktok-account-owner-to-join-oklahoma-advisory-committee

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! But of course, the reason why the Sooner State and the home of actor / philanthropist Will Rogers makes the tournament every year is their sheer, unaltered bigotry. Which seems to get worse every year! In fact, you know what we were saying about libsoftiktok? Yeah that account was under fire for inspiring a murder of a non-binary student in Oklahoma. And now Chaya is involved in the OK education department? I mean good god, what the hell are the people of Oklahoma thinking? Oh wait, they aren’t thinking.

Far-right activist Chaya Raichik splits her time between California, where she’s registered to vote, and Florida, where she often travels. But the place where she arguably is having the biggest impact these days is Oklahoma, a state she’s visited only once.

Raichik, who operates the social media account Libs of TikTok, has amassed an audience of millions on X, the platform formerly known as Twitter, largely by targeting LGBTQ+ people. Last month, Raichik was appointed to the Oklahoma Library Media Advisory Committee by Republican schools superintendent Ryan Walters, a former history teacher who has been called “the state’s top culture warrior” for his opposition to teachers unions and other conservative targets, including LGBTQ+ students’ rights.

Since her appointment, Raichik has sought to pull books depicting gay and transgender people, as well as sex education, from public school libraries, saying she has found “porn” in various districts. But her growing role in the state has drawn greater attention since Nex Benedict, a 16-year-old nonbinary student, collapsed and died the day after a Feb. 7 fight in a girls’ bathroom at Owasso High School in suburban Tulsa. Family members said Benedict had been bullied for months for being openly nonbinary.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2024/02/24/libs-tiktok-oklahoma-nonbinary-teen-death/

[font size="4"]North Carolina[/font]

The Tar Heel State is back for another go round in this tournament! But they shocked the pundits in the regular season and built up a relatively healthy franchise. How? Through some good old grassroots batshit political insanity. Mainly having to do with the guy who could be the next governor of North Carolina – Mark Robinson. Yes, this guy has been all over the news lately, and absolutely none of it is good, and he’s known for shooting his mouth off about the LGBT population, especially the T part. But again he’s got the church and Fox vote locked up so there could be a fight. But congratulations, North Carolina GOP, you have a literal Nazi on your hands!

Super Tuesday ended up being a “super” day for North Carolina’s right-wing MAGA extremists as Donald Trump (president), Lt. Gov. Mark Robinson (governor), Rep. Dan Bishop (attorney general), and Michele Morrow (public schools superintendent) all won their primaries – but it was also a (potential) big win for the state’s Democrats.

In the days since the March 5 primary, North Carolina and the rest of America have been properly introduced to these extremists via coverage from NC-based media outlets as well as national newspapers, magazines, news outlets, and TV networks. Much of the focus has been on Robinson and Morrow, and what is being learned about these candidates is what those in North Carolina’s political circles have known for several years – these candidates are dangerous extremists who pose a real threat to freedom, justice and individual rights in the Tar Heel state.

Some people see the victories by these extremists as a massive chance for Democrats to win some very important Council of State seats and potentially turn North Carolina blue in the presidential election for the first time since 2008. The News & Observer's Ned Barnett wrote that having Trump, Robinson, Bishop, and Morrow on the ballot will have voters show up in droves – for Democrats.
https://progressncaction.org/2024/03/republican-maga-extremists-victories-in-nc-on-super-tuesday-could-be-great-news-for-democrats-if-they-take-these-candidates-seriously/

Yeah seriously, can people stop acting so stupid? In fact you know why people are acting so stupid? It’s because the right wing, ever since the advent of Rush Limbaugh through the Bush administration, has been on an anti-education tear. And nowhere is our anti-education battle more prevalent than the Tar Heel State. Maybe… just maybe… we could stop listening to insane right wingers and stop giving massive megachurches money to buy politicians? You know what the definition of insanity is – doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Shortly after he took over as North Carolina’s Lieutenant Governor in 2021, current Republican candidate for governor Mark Robinson launched a task force to root out indoctrination in our public schools.

Robinson claimed indoctrination was a widespread problem and set up an online portal to solicit complaints about educators from the public. The majority of the submissions Robinson received were from people who took issue with his politically motivated witch hunt and saw an opportunity to roast him over it.

Snip

Fast forward a couple of years to North Carolina’s Republican-controlled General Assembly flipping a legislator, stealing a supermajority, then tripling funding for school vouchers.

With billions of dollars now on tap for North Carolina’s private schools, and 88.2% of those dollars going to religious schools, scrutiny is rising over exactly what our taxes are supporting.
https://ncnewsline.com/2024/03/12/nc-school-voucher-dollars-are-funding-christian-nationalist-indoctrination/

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

Wow, this was a close and exciting one, ladies and gentlemen! It’s tied going into overtime with one minute left… North Carolina for three… ooh just barely misses on the outside! Oklahoma with the rebound… for three! YES!!! North Carolina is out of timeouts… they have one shot! Ooh a miss! And that’s all she wrote! Oklahoma wins, they are celebrating on the court! Final score: 98 – 95!

[font size="4"]Next Week: [/font]

Next week it’s the first week of Round 2! We’re live at the home of the Arizona Wildcats, the Wells Fargo Center in Phoenix, Arizona, as #1 Texas and #3 Missouri face off in the Gun Nut Conference to punch a ticket to the Final Four! The Elite 8 is set!



[font size="4"]And Now This: [/font]
[font size="4"]Bad Religion [/font]

Folks, my next guest are punk rock legends! They are here promoting the No Values festival at the Pomona Fairplex, June 8th! You can get your tickets at novalues.com. Playing their classic song “21st Century Digital Boy”, give it up for the one, the only Bad Religion!

Thank you Las Vegas! It was good to be back at the MGM! We’ll be back again soon! We’re off to New Orleans, Looooooosiana next!` See you next week!

Credits

Host: Initech
Bad Religion Appears Courtesy Of: Epitaph Records
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of A Live Audience At: Brad Garrett’s Comedy Club At The MGM Grand, Las Vegas, NV
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