What age did you tell your kids there was no Santi Claus?

[NNN0LHI]

I told my kids about this when they were young young. 5 or 6 or so. My daughter was here over TD with my two grand sons. One is 5 and one is 9 and they both still believe Santi is real. About got my ass chewed out for suggesting otherwise from my daughter. When I was 9 years old I was thinking about getting drafted. Not worried about it. Just thinking about it.

How old?

Don

[RagAss]

1. 4...they figured out "God" on their own by 12.

[Lionessa]

53. Yep, mine on day one, wasn't about to have to explain

to a four or five year old why Mommy had lied, so I never did.

I told them Santa Claus wasn't a person, but a feeling of giving and compassion that one shared with family, friends, and strangers when appropriately overseen by Mom or Dad (ie Salvation Army bell ringers, homeless, and such)

[Populist_Prole]

2. Nobody ever really told us

We figured it out when we were fairly young, though I had a step mother who always put "Santa" on the "From" tag on gifts even when we were into our teens.

[RebelOne]

13. Never told my kids.

They just figured it out on their own.

[valerief]

50. My mother did the same thing. And no one told us either. I probably stopped believing

before I was 7. Atheism came at about 11.

[Agschmid]

145. We still do from "Santa" gifts in my family and I am 27. n/t

[Freddie]

154. I still do that!

Kids are 26 and 22 so I think they've figured it out though

[LeftofObama]

3. I was about 6 or 7.

Believe it or not, I never even heard of the Easter Bunny until my cousin told me about him. I was about 7 also and when she mentioned him I thought, "That's ridiculous!"

[newfie11]

4. Right after the heard it on the school bus

I had to fess up. The oldest was 7 and already suspicious . I think the 3rd one was around 5 or 6

[elfin]

5. they tell you

After a year or two of knowing pretend. Sweet fun IMO, with a poignancy when you realize they "know." Then the magic years are gone.

[FSogol]

6. My parents never told me there was a Santa, but I always got a gift or two from "Santa"

When I was about 7, I told my Mom, I knew there wasn't a Santa.
She asked if I liked the presents I got from "Santa." To which I replied, "yes."
She then told me that if I wanted to keep getting those gifts, I better keep believing in Santa.

[Bucky]

9. I still give gifts from Santa to my whole family. Believing is fun.

In the name of all that's Mulder, keep Christmas magical.

[southernyankeebelle]

7. Please don't ruin it for them. I was 9 yrs old and was devasted when I found out.

My parents didn't tell me but christmas morning we went running out to the tree and nothing was there. We cried and dad told us look around so we ended up finding our gifts in the kitchen. We each got one thing for christmas and were thrilled to get it. But my granddaughter who is going to be 7 christmas day still believes. In fact a couple of years ago their mother bought this book about an Elf named JD. JD watches to make sure they have been good. At night when they are sleeping momma moves JD and when they get up in the morning my grandchildren goes hunting for JD. She really believes in this ELF. It is so cute. My grandson gets it. I tell him not to say a word let her believe until she comes to it on her own.

[Lionessa]

55. Please explain to me the value of EVER lying to children.

If Christmas can't be fun without lying to your children and grandchildren, well.... sucks to be you.

[txwhitedove]

62. That's a tacky and personal attack "sucks to be you". She was talking about Christmas and an elf,

not the facts of life or history. My grandpa told me all kinds of magical tales growing up, and I'm grateful for the positive and humorous outlook I got on life.

[southernyankeebelle]

67. Thank you. You got what I was trying to say. I also hope never to lose that child

like quality even at the age of 65 I still get the joy of seeing children happy.

[Lionessa]

84. Yes, but those stories didn't have adults then pretending they were true

Santa is different than healthy imagination and story telling. My kids enjoyed many books and stories, but for example never really believed that rabbits talk, or cats, or dogs, same with cartoons and other childrens' programing. With Santa Claus most parents partake in the lie, rather than tell a story. There's a difference.

Read up above, my children suffered none with my totally honest and accurate definition of "Santa Claus".

[txwhitedove]

89. Say what? Animals can't talk? Since when? Just a guess, there's no heaven either and dogs don't

go to heaven? Well, glad your children were fine with all your accuracy and, unlike you, I won't insult your viewpoint. Every work of fiction, many movies, poems, art, music come from the imagination, concepts, thoughts put to paper, film, records. I love facts, science and math, but don't want it to rule my whole life. Vive la différence!

[marions ghost]

114. Thank you

Santa is one of the first complex concepts that children sort out in life--when they realize that Santa is a symbol of generosity and kindness, and not a reality. It's an important stimulus to the imagination, and gives kids the idea of a big picture realm outside themselves. Of course God and Jesus may do that too, but especially if one isn't a promoter of God, one might keep Santa around to impersonate God (ha ha). Also Santa is a tribal figure in an insular society where there are very few avenues for group bonding. Santa has an important psychological role to play IMO. Leave Santa Alone (just make him less commercial & tone it all down re. the materialism). I grew up as a poor kid--getting something from Santa every year gave me the feeling that Somebody Cared about me, a feeling I did not often have at school, where I was ostracized for not having the right clothes etc... (Please contribute to book/toy drives and Santa trees). My parents played Santa up in our imaginations, because they couldn't provide much else materially but at Xmas they got bonuses and could buy gifts.

I think it's best to let children tell parents when they are ready--ie. when they say they can't hear the reindeer bells anymore--a poignant but necessary moment in growing up.

Of course people who just can't bring themselves to spin yarns will not go for Santa and that's OK. I do know a kid who was not allowed to participate even tho his parents are Xtian. In their view, Santa is pagan and unholy. Now that he's in college he's going to friends houses to experience it. I bet he will end up being Santa for his kids.

[pecwae]

158. And my grown children

never suffered believing in Santa Claus nor did I. We're all totally normal, high functioning adults with healthy relationships. I never held Santa Claus against my parents and my children have never accused me of harming them with The Claus. Kids have years of dealing with adult bullshit ahead of them. Letting them be children, even with the terrible lie about The Claus, is a gift. But, to each his own. People can raise their kids the way they see fit.

[Lionessa]

162. People survive lying and deception all the time, it doesn't make it moral or right.

[pecwae]

166. You've got to be kidding.

Letting your child believe in Santa is immoral? Let me know when you're appointed head of the Morality Department. You can have us all strung up for torturing our kids.

[Lionessa]

168. "Letting"?? Folks don't "let," they actively participate in lies and deception, there's

no "letting" about it.

All I can continue to say is that Santa And Christmas can be perfectly delightful without lying or deceiving the children. The true definition of what Santa is in modern times is more than fine with children, doesn't ruin anything, and allows parents to not be hypocrites, liars, and frauds.

[southernyankeebelle]

65. I feel sorry for you if you have to ask me that question.

[Lionessa]

85. I feel sorry that you're so hung up on needing a lie

regarding Santa Claus, perhaps my honesty has imagination than your clinging to lies.

[riderinthestorm]

71. I learned the hard way. My oldest girl was furious we'd lied to her @ it.

I was shocked and horrified. She was furious that we'd lied to her about Santa, the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy - all of it.

She still has a huge amount of anger that we "lied" to her about this. FWIW, this was a girl who still 'believed" in Barney the Purple dinosaur in THIRD grade! She LOVED Barney.

She's a trusting soul and our playful lies really slayed her.

[Lionessa]

86. I totally understand her anger. I think things can be explained without lying so why

lie.

As I said somewhere above we simply defined "Santa Claus" accurately as a feeling of care and love and compassion and giving among friends, family, and those less fortunate.

Simple, no lie, lots of real magic instead of pretend bs.

[Bucky]

91. Not feeling the holiday spirit?

"Sucks to be you" is about the least Christmas like sentiment I can imagine. But you're technically right that we can bring our children up without metaphors, without believing in magic, without engaging the joy that matches the necessary reality of what child developmental psychologists call "magical thinking." Kids before these young ages (the conversation is talking about 5-8 year olds) are often equally convinced Mickey Mouse and Buzz Lightyear and the "Goodnight Moon" Bunny Nanny are equally real to Gandolf, Santa, Oscar the Grouch, and Jesus.

It's just as much lying to a kid to tell them I'll always keep you safe. You just can't know that. You tell a kid that anyway so they can grow up knowing what safety means. We read them Goodnight Moon so they know what peaceful rest means (it also promotes grasping higher order object permanence. Kids start to reconcile the myths we tell them with their physical reality at the ages 5-8. Giving them normal (and socially reinforced) myths they can work out on their own aids in that developmental stage. In the same way we tell them "Grandma will always be there for you" and yet they come to understand grandparents die.

I had a young college professor who had a similar puritanical streak to him. Before his kids were born, he talked about how he'd tell his kids there was a saint from Turkey who promoted generosity and compassion and we make him the symbol of the season. Seemed like a clever compromise right? The problem is, that too is only closer to the consensus reality, but not really a non-lie.

Or maybe it's just a charming story, subject to historical manipulations and the personal needs of each parent to adapt as they see fit for their kids, that helps children understand the values that build strong families and ethical, character-driven lives. Perhaps a purely logical, Vulcan like child could grasp these things without the normal human mechanism for understanding principles through metaphor. But normal developmental patterns for most kids testify to the utility of telling fairy tales. It's just how people are.

[Lionessa]

100. I already responded to this aspect in other posts.

Bless your heart.

[raccoon]

125. ITA about the value of lying to children. I finally figured it out at maybe 9. I felt betrayed

and lied to.

I decided I'd never lie to my kids about Santa. I don't have any, though, so it's a moot point.

[Lionessa]

126. Well particularly when, with a tad bit of actually thought,

one can define Santa Claus accurately without any lies or ruining of the day.

I've done it many times on this thread, and still I'm pegged as a scrooge regardless of the accuracy with which my definition describes both Santa Claus and Christmas in general (not withstanding the religious aspect, since we're raging atheists in my family).

[DesMoinesDem]

130. You sound like a generally horrible person.

I feel sorry for your kids, if you have any.

[Lionessa]

132. People who lie to and deceive children are far worse, imo.

And my children have no issues with the way we handled Christmas and Santa Claus, and the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny, and any other false persona that is customarily used to lie to and deceive children.

I'm so sorry you lack the imagination to accurately define those things without ruining the fun of the day, season, situation.

[Orrex]

136. So you tell children that everyone is going to die and cease to exist forever?

You've probably already told all the kids you know that they'll probably wind up working 50 hours a week, if they're lucky, and at the end of it all barely have enough to buy a pine box for their burial, right?

And no doubt you tell them all of these things preemptively, because you wouldn't want to lie by omission.

You're not teaching a valuable life lesson here; you're being a curmudgeonly stick in the mud. Go on with your bad self.

[Lionessa]

138. If and when it came up, absolutely, why lie about that either?

There is no reason nor topic suitable for lying, there just isn't. Sorry you feel there are situations that children need to be shielded from thinking about, but I will never be such a person. Children can handle things better when there is truth underlying their position, not lies.

[Orrex]

139. Again, go on with your bad self

In your smug, patronizing way, you're declaring that you know better than everyone what's best for their children. Sure, you're dressing it up as some noble devotion to honesty, but you're just being a knob.

If a coworker styles your hair in a way that you don't like, and she asks your opinion, do you tell her that her hair looks awful, or do you tailor your response with some basic awareness of her feelings? If you don't, then you're probably a sociopath, and we might as well end this exchange.

But if you embellish or spin your answer in any way, giving anything other than a raw and honest answer, then you're a self-righteous hypocrite, and we might as well end this exchange.

You'll likely protest that this is a faulty analogy or that it's apples and oranges, but truly it's a matter of customizing one's statements to fit the expectations and desires of one's audience. You'll probably assert that doing so is no different from telling any other lie, but that simply demonstrates a failure to understand nuance and context.

[Lionessa]

140. Lying is bad, truth is not. Get over your excuses for lying and deception.

Not being able to find a truthful way to discuss Christmas and Santa Claus with children only shows yours and others' lack of critical thinking abilities, but I guess the idea that you think lies and deception should be promoted already showed that.

[Orrex]

141. So you answered none of the objections to your bullshit sermonizing? What are we to make of that?

At a glance, I'd say that it's because you're talking out your ass in hope of maintaining your willful delusion of self-righteousness.

You're lying to yourself and pretending that basic skills of human interaction are inconsistent with critical thinking.

You're deceiving yourself by imagining that you understand the width and breadth of child-rearing. Over the years I've seen many jackasses make arguments very similar to yours, and they all boil down to a load of crap. Nothing you've written hear distinguishes your argument from theirs. Hmm...

So, since you can't answer any questions posed to you, and you instead fall back your simplistic and juvenile mantra of "truth is truth," I conclude that you either don't know that you're full of shenanigans, in which case we might as well end this, or else you do know that you're full of shenanigans, in which case you're a hypocrite, and we might as well end this.


Go on with your bad, self-righteous self.

[Lionessa]

144. No matter how many individual issues you bring up, matters not,

I tell the truth, period. If you can't imagine how to tell the truth without hurting someone's feelings, well you have a deficiency. I'm sorry for you. Poor thing. I'm also glad we are not friends, I would have to now try to figure what you had lied to me about all the years I had known you. How many times did you lie, how many times did you treat me like I was too fragile for the truth, how many times did I make decisions that were awful because I trusted your lies....

Yeah, I never want my friends, my family, my children, or anyone I come in contact with to wonder whether I told the truth, whether I respected their strength of character, or worse yet make decisions that might not be best simply because they trusted me to give honest answers, honest assessments, etc. I have no doubt that exactly zero of my people would say, "yeah, I'd rather you lie to me than tell me the truth." I gather you don't have the same faith in your people.

[Orrex]

146. So, you've got nothing except bullshit sermonizing

Shame on me for not realizing it sooner.

And I feel sorry for your person with the bad haircut.

[Lionessa]

147. Try as you might, the truth is not bullshit, lies are.

Sermonizing requires asking someone to believe fiction, from my experience, since all sermonizing I've heard to date is in relation to religion which is a fictitious and mythological. Since I am promoting telling the truth and remaining fact based, I don't see any sermonizing.

However if it makes you feel better to attempt to belittle being honest in order to justify your dishonesty, lack of ability to be honest and humane, and any and all deceitfulness you require to pull of such dishonest endeavors.... tough shit.

jAre you so shallow and ignorant that you actually think your lie about a hair cut is going to override that person's knowledge that it sucks? Boy, you have gullible and foolish people around you. Those around me would be insulted if I lied about such. I wouldn't dream of insulting them thusly or any other way with lies or deceit.

[Orrex]

148. Thank you

Your last paragraph demonstrates that you are, in fact, a sociopath.

Go on with your bad self.

[pnwmom]

151. I think it sucks to be anyone who doesn't like to pretend sometimes,

in a harmless way.

My kids and I all enjoyed the game while it lasted. No one was traumatized when they finally outgrew it.

[Lionessa]

157. This discussion is about lying, not pretending; when pretending the children

are aware that it's pretend. Santa isn't treated as pretend, it's lied about and great lengths are gone to deceive children into thinking it's something other than pretend.

[pnwmom]

163. That's what you think, based on your not doing it.

We didn't go to any great lengths. My daughter figured out the game when she was 4. My son, when he was even younger. But both of them kept pretending because it was fun.

[riderinthestorm]

70. My oldest girl was furious that we'd "lied" to her for so many yrs when we told her.

She was absolutely outraged that we had lied, LIED, for so many years about it.

She was truly devastated that her parents were so hypocritical when we'd been such fierce advocates for being truthful about everything else.

It was an incredibly sobering moment. She's still bitter about it now (she's 25).

[southernyankeebelle]

74. I had the very opposite reaction. I didn't want to know and when I found out I was upset.

I still believe in the old guy.

[dflprincess]

80. I'm with you

(this applies to your other posts on this thread too)

[southernyankeebelle]

115. Thank you. I don't want to lose that interchild that is still part of me. I guess

you can call it that Peter Pan world.

[Lionessa]

88. Usually when people "believe" what is proveablly false around here,

they are relatively quickly debunked and/or PPR'd, but not when it comes to Sky Daddies and any related religion idols.

It is such a bizarre hypocrisy to watch in such short order after we were all screaming that "beliefs" that Obama was a Kenyan is intolerable, "belief" that humans are in no way responsible for drastic climate change is intolerable, but "beliefs" such as this bs are to be honored and treated with respect.

I'll never treat a liar with respect, and those that lie to children are particularly evil in my book. Those that as adults cling to such beliefs are essentially the same as those that believe Obama is a Kenyan in my opinion.

That said, I shall exit this topic.

[southernyankeebelle]

116. Man you are on some trip. Lighten up sweetie pie. We are talking about Santa Claus

not heavy duty shit. Lighten up. If you can't please don't respond to my comments.

[Lionessa]

121. I find lying to be the topic, Santa is only the catalyst to the topic.

Consider it lightly if you choose, but as I say, we don't tolerate inaccurate beliefs around here unless it's related to religious beliefs. That's hypocrisy, by the site and by those who participate in these beliefs and particularly those that then intentionally lie to their own children for years into decade about such.

Disgraceful that you all cannot enjoy Christmas or Santa Claus without lying to and deceiving little children.

[southernyankeebelle]

123. If you were here I would play my violin for you. You really

need some cheering up. Happy holidays to you.

[Lionessa]

124. You folks are really f'd up. I'm perfectly cheerful, I just don't need lies and deceit

to be cheerful as apparently so many do and then feel it's best to propagate those lies and deceitfulness upon children.

Once again, it isn't me who has an issue, I and my children have always been cheerful and full of excitement and anticipation during this time of year without the bullshit need to lie or deceive.

Are you suggesting that my definition of Santa Claus is somehow incorrect or un-christmassy? To remind you in case you've either not read or forgotten:

Santa Claus as defined by this honest and accurate parent to her children is/was:
"Santa Claus is a feeling of sharing, giving, and compassion with and for friends, family, and those less fortunate."

Now do you really find that to be a sad or lack of cheer perspective? If you do, then something is wrong with you, not me.

[southernyankeebelle]

133. I am not trying to change your mind. All I said was lighten up. Enjoy your holiday however

you choose to. I have called you a liar like you have called me. Chill enjoy whatever it is you do.

[Lionessa]

134. I don't find lying to and deceiving children as a topic to lighten up about.

And as you can tell, my disgust with those that think it should be a non-issue for these religion-related entities is and has always been on par with my raging atheism.

Lies, deceit, beliefs with no basis in facts, and hypocrites (as I'm sure each parent here who actively lies to and deceives their children about SC.... each and every parent that does this probably insists that their children not lie, not deceive, and become educated with facts, and yet these parents, each and every one, cannot honor their own rules).

It's not cute, it's not necessary for a great season.

[southernyankeebelle]

135. Have a happy holiday anyway. I really don't care about this subject anymore. I'm not

changing me and I am not trying to change you. There are subjects we do agree on. Let's leave it at that. Ok?

[Go Vols]

164. "That said, I shall exit this topic."

This was not the truth.You continue to post on this topic.

[pecwae]

169. +1

[one_voice]

94. When I was 7 years old I was hit by a car...

day before Thanksgiving. I was put in a body cast Christmas Eve, they let me come home because my mom was a nurse. I had to be turned every couple of hours I don't remember how often now. I was downstairs in a hospital bed. Our house had a front living room or a parlor as some called it and a back living room with a pocket door. I was in the front room with the door close all but a little tiny smidgen.

That night I was given my medicine, I was still on pain meds, I got pretty messed up. Any way, I woke up when I heard noise in the other room. I could peak through the crack in the door. And Santa was sitting in the chair wrapping gifts. At least what I saw was Santa, who looked right at me. I watched for a few minutes and fell back to sleep. In the morning, I told my parents what I'd seen, they smiled at me and didn't say anything else.

I still believe to this day I saw Santa. I was a sick little girl in pain on Christmas Eve, and that's why I believe I saw him. It's my probably my favorite memory from childhood, through all that pain I saw Santa. I couldn't play with anything I'd gotten for Christmas because of the body cast, I could hold a doll, but that was all. BUT I'd seen Santa. Days later when my cast was good and dry dad put me on the floor to play.

I still believe that some kids do see Santa, just as I did. I guess that's corny, but I'm ok with that.

[southernyankeebelle]

117. What a nice story. Thank you for sharing. I bet it was just like yesterday to you. I am

glad you keep the spirit of santa.

[Bucky]

8. You were earlier than ordinary. Don't spoil their magical thinking.

(on edit: all the fucks taken out)

Kids engage in irrational, magical thinking. Cognitive specialists will tell you they start to see thru the Santa sham when they are cognitively ready to see thru it. It's not like a philsophical precept they think thru or don't think thru. That just not how normal human psychology works.

Don't be a bad grandparent, intervening in the choices your own kids make in raise their young'uns. Don't force your G-kids to think things through sooner than they're ready.

There's all kinds of white lies you tell kids. You tell them they're safe at night. You don't tell them the literal truth, that for all you know a psycho could bust through their window tonight and chop up the whole family and you're helpless to stop it from happening. The simple "you're safe" is a lie of omission, an illusion. They're not ready to find comfort in the mathmatics of statistical probability.

In the same way, don't toy with these kids' Santa delusions. You're family, but you're not the parent.

[bigwillq]

10. I found out on my own

when I was like 9. My sister and I (we're twins) found the Santa presents in a closet.

[frogmarch]

11. My kids never did believe in Santa.

They enjoyed Santa stories and other make-believe tales about Christmas, including bible stores, but they always knew they were fictional. They loved Christmas even without the magical elements.

[11 Bravo]

12. Hell, they eventually told us: "Umm ... Mom ... Dad, we know about Santa, but ...

we both think that it's really cute how you continue trying to keep it going."

[Squinch]

14. SHUT UP! THERE IS TOO A SANTA CLAUSE!

[Bucky]

20. As a liberal Democrat, I keep on thinking Bobby's going to come back to us one day.

That's my Santa: a world built on compassion and a government run in the interests of the working family instead of simply holding the empire together.



But if it weren't for Santa, there wouldn't be any Bobbys.

[Liberalynn]

75. One of my political heroes too

[Populist_Prole]

15. The impossible logistics of it all is what did it to me

I mean, how the heck is he going to fit enough gifts for every kid the world over in a bag, or even a sleigh? How fast can he fly? No way he can circumnavigate the globe in one night. That pegged my BS meter even at 5 or 6 years old.

[bkkyosemite]

104. His magical powers and that bag replenisthes again and again...

and haven't you watched Star Trek....you know he is zapped down that chimney.

My grandkids are 4 and 5 and are eagerly awaiting Santa's arrival.....but curious...the 5 year old already why some presents under the tree have the same wrapping paper. Hey Santa has to use up a whole role don't ya know or it would be wasteful.

Merry Christmas everyone

[Tree-Hugger]

16. I don't get it

What do you mean there isn't a Santa?

[dchill]

17. I didn't have to tell them.

They're smart.

[handmade34]

18. Yes NNN0LHI; There is a Santa Claus

""Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies!""

"DEAR EDITOR: I am 8 years old.
"Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.
"Papa says, 'If you see it in THE SUN it's so.'
"Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus?

"VIRGINIA O'HANLON.
"115 WEST NINETY-FIFTH STREET."

VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

[Festivito]

108. Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. (How droll and wrong to say there is not.)

Some people think they get it, but they don't get it.

[Separation]

19. I think it was around the 1st grade.

I didn't tell either one, they got the lowdown from the kids in school. We still have one present from "Santa" to them and they are 16 & 14. It makes the season fun.

[Squinch]

21. My niece found out from the kids at school at about 7 years old, but figured that her

family couldn't afford the stuff they got for Christmas. (My sister bought nothing all year, and everything new came at Christmas.) So my niece saw all the UPS boxes coming into the house, and in her head she just transferred the whole idea to the UPS man.

She "believed" in the UPS man for about 3 more years.



The kid cracks me up all the time.

[ann---]

22. About 8

then he told his younger brother the next year.

[longship]

23. Kids are smart.

They pick up Santa Clause from the culture. A parent could say nothing about Santa, positive or negative, and kids naturally go along with it. Then, they quickly figure it out, again naturally, from culture.

That's the way I would handle it today.

[agracie]

24. I never told them there WAS a Santa Claus

I always told them we were pretending, just like we pretended there was a Tooth Fairy and an Easter Bunny. We did it all - the gifts from Santa, cookies for Santa, etc. etc. but we were ALL pretending. No point lying to them when they had just as much fun pretending ...

[Lucinda]

73. I like that a lot! All the fun and none of the lies.

[NYC Liberal]

25. I don't have kids, but from the other side of things, I don't think we were ever told

explicitly. At least not that I remember. But we also never really had a big attachment to Santa.

My parents -- at least my mom, actually -- kept giving us presents from "Santa" long after we knew Santa didn't exist and they knew we knew, just for fun because it was part of the whole Christmas tradition.

[liberal N proud]

26. What do mean, no Santa Clause?

Our kids told us by 5 or 6

[hedgehog]

27. Raised in the Catholic tradition, I believe that saints have certain powers to summon miracles -

say someone is short of cash, who is to say that a saint doesn't nudge someone to make a gift? So, if Nicholas of Myra really likes kids, who is to say he doesn't nudge parents and others into making Christmas a special day for children?

[mainstreetonce]

28. My grandkids

are four and six. They know to ask family for what they want. They know what stores have it and how much it costs. They can search for their choices in the IPAd. They will tell you about Santa, but they know what is real.

[mysuzuki2]

29. Sanity Clause?

Everybody know there ain't no Sanity Clause !

[nachosgrande]

30. I already told my 3 yr old.

Figured he deserves the truth.

[iwillalwayswonderwhy]

31. we all pretended together

We were quite poor and I didn't want my kids to think that Santa liked other kids better than them. I couldn't compete with the other parents.

[rug]

32. Never. When my oldest went off to college and hinted for spending money, I told her to ask Santa.

[tblue]

33. There's NO Santi Claus?

I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU!

[Little Star]

34. Never told them, they figured it out on their own.

[Lint Head]

35. I let my children figure it out themselves. It gave them self confidence. They experienced

an epiphany. My children were not traumatized. They enjoyed the fantasy and also were taught giving was more important than receiving.

[Turbineguy]

36. 36

and when they moved out.

[Coyotl]

37. We kids knew before the parents let on anything.

Why ruin it for the adults we thought

[karynnj]

38. Probably 2 or 3

We are Jewish - so it is tricky. They also were told it was a secret and not to tell others. It was the only way I could think of to deal with the dominant culture saying that SC brings gifta to all good kids.

[Douglas Carpenter]

39. I think it is okay for parents to play make believe with their children - but I think lying to them

is just plain wrong. It might be fun to tell them about Santa or the Easter Bunny or whatever the same way someone might tell a child Mother Goose stories or read other Fair Tales to them with an understanding that this is all fantasy and make believe. But to intentionally trick and deceive them just doesn't seem right to me. I think it is cruel.

[raccoon]

131. +1000. nt

[Speck Tater]

40. I think my kids were too smart to believe the myth right from the start.

I don't really remember a time when they actually believed, but they're all over 40 now, so I'd be lucky to remember [i[anything from that far back!

[spanone]

41. are you saying there's no.....

[tularetom]

42. I think I was about 30 when I told them

Ohhh, you meant how old were they?

So my daughter would have been 7 or 8 and my son 4 or 5.

My great granddaughter is four years old and spoiled rotten and I think she has already wised up.

[trof]

43. Why would you tell them that?

Hell, they'll figure it out on their own soon enough.
Kids in school will tell them.
I never told my daughter there's no Santa Clause.
jeez

[PoliticAverse]

44. Everybody knows there ain't no Sanity Clause...

[Skittles]

45. I helped my mum wrap the presents

[HockeyMom]

46. Older daughter about 6

My younger daughter was 5 years younger so it was very difficult to keep it from her having a sibling that much older than she,

[PennsylvaniaMatt]

47. I was 9 when my mom told me

It's funny because I was a mature kid at a young age, and was very much into politics, yet I was watching Meet the Press before I stopped believing in Santa! Someone in school was ruining it for everyone else, and my mom wanted to get one more Christmas out of it, so she delayed telling me the truth until after Christmas.

[MichiganVote]

48. Oh come on. It was a time honored sibling tradition to trash Santa by age 7.

What? Nobody else had mean old siblings who delighted in wrecking the belief in Santa? Yeah, and I suppose you never told your younger sib they were adopted either.

[ornotna]

49. My kids are adults now and I still haven't told them.

I'm not sure when I am going to tell them. Maybe next year.

[gollygee]

51. The first one - when she asked

And she was pretty young, like 4. But then she asked me if she could "believe on purpose, even though she knows it's pretend" and I said that was fine. I think she gave up that too by 7 or 8.

The younger one is 3 and still believes.

[benld74]

52. I wait until THEY told me and then I tell them I still believe in him because,,,

Santa is the spirit of the Christmas Season. And he should be around ALL year long for all people. That hs been my story and I'm sticking with it.

[David__77]

54. I figured that out at 4, noticing that "Santa's" handwriting was the same as my mother's.

I actually asked her why that was so, and she told me that she wrote the notes to help Santa out, but the jig was up.

[Trailrider1951]

56. I waited for them to tell me that there really was no Santa

usually about the age of 6. It's all good.

[Arkansas Granny]

57. I didn't tell my kids. Other kids told them and I just verified when they asked

[ejpoeta]

58. i haven't. i think my 13 year old knows but plays along. my 8 year old

still believes, but has asked because she hears things at school. Abby is 3 and is just discovering santa. I look at Santa not as a person per se but a feeling that we can all be part of.

[ejpoeta]

59. and i am still trying to figure out how santa fits into christmas religiously speaking.

like the easter bunny and the religious easter. other than getting to believe in something that they can't see. But for us it is just a tradition like christmas and easter.... no religion involved.

[Jennicut]

60. My 7 and 8 year olds still believe but I think there are less and less kids among their friends that

that still believe. They have active imaginations. I will let them figure it out on their own.

[bluedigger]

61. What are you talking about?

Shouldn't this be in the Creative Speculation Group with the rest of the crazy talk? There are no standards around this place anymore.

[txwhitedove]

63. I never told my kids, and they're all over 30. Should I tell them now? Nahhh.

[Contrary1]

64. My daughter told me when she was 4...

Said none of it made any sense to her. And so went the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, etc. I think I was more disappointed than she was.

Like my mother used to say about her...a little old lady in a child's body.

She did manage to keep the reality away from her little brother for several years though.

[Freddie]

156. My daughter figured it out the same way

She was 8 and the whole Easter Bunny thing seemed pretty impossible so once she figured that out she asked "so then there's no Santa Claus either, right?" and I fessed up. "So YOU bought us all that stuff??" I said me and my pal Mr. Visa. She promised not to tell her little brother (age 4) which lasted about 5 minutes but he didn't seem especially traumatized.

[x2 vancouverite]

66. WHAT???

[Generic Brad]

68. My daughter demanded the truth

She was six. So, I relented. I told her Santa was Mom and Dad. She silently let that sink in for a moment, then she asked me if we were also the Tooth Fairy. I confessed to that one as well. Then she broke into tears and shouted, "You just ruined my childhood!"

One of the funniest exchanges I ever had with her.

[hootinholler]

69. I was 45 when I told them. n/t

[Bucky]

92. !!

How long had you yourself known at that point?

(best answer in thread by the way)

[Raine]

72. My parents never told me there wasn't a Santa Claus, I just

knew myself it wasn't possible. I just kept pretending even after I knew because they seem to enjoy it so much. Don't spoil your daugher's and your grandkid's fun anyway it's not yours to tell.

[BeyondGeography]

76. Some other kid usually does the job for you

Both of my kids learned one way or another by the time they were 7.

[GeorgeGist]

77. I think my oldest figured it out at about 5.

She immediately told her younger sister.

[Nye Bevan]

78. Please edit this post to put "spoiler" in the title (nt)

[Tigress DEM]

79. Whaddya mean there's NO SANTA ??!! WAHHHHH!!!

[Irishonly]

81. My daughter told me there was no Santa when she was nine

I think she knew before but was afraid she wouldn't get presents. LOL She refused to leave Santa milk and cookies. Santa was able to eat a ham sandwich and drink a soda. We also left carrots for the reindeer and one year we had to leave hay also. The reindeer always left her a special present because she was such a caring girl. It was comical on Christmas morning because most of the neighborhood kids came running to our front yard to see if the reindeer had been to our house.

We mostly talked about Santa representing the fun part of Christmas. She understood the secular part of Christmas and also has understood from an early age Jesus wasn't likely born in December.

[Ilsa]

82. I recently told my son, "You can believe in

Santa Claus for one more year, but you can not talk about it at school. You know there isn't a Santa; but it's okay if you want to pretend it as long as you don't say it in front of other kids."

I think kids need a little magic in their lives.

[fugop]

83. Wow. Tough audience.

My daughter asked when she was in third grade, so she was ... 8? We confirmed without confirming, but she got the message. She cried and was sad, but come Xmas morning, it was all, "SANTA CAME!!"

A year later (and even now, two years later), it's like the conversation never happened. She still loves Santa. Last year she wanted an Elf on the Shelf. He showed up (creepy!), and she and her brother LIVE him and his magical moving around.

I still love the idea of Santa. Wouldn't give him up for anything.

[drthais]

87. HAHAHA!

my daughter, when she was about 7 or so
looked at me and said...
'tell me the truth - is Santa Claus real?'
and I said...
'well, it's like this...if you believe in him, he comes, and if you don't he doesn't'
and she said...'don't get me WRONG!'
HAHAHAHA!

[Stinky The Clown]

90. I still haven't told them. Or about the Easter Bunny. Or the Tooth Fairy, for that matter.

I hate to burst their bubbles.

They're 25, 35, and 38.

When should I tell them?

[RKP5637]

93. I knew something was up when the tooth fairy never appeared - I'm a light sleeper. So figuring

out Santa Clause, religion, God and the Easter bunny were no brainers for me, but I think my older sister was hooked on it all. I think around 5 or 6 I had lost all of those beliefs, at least what I had ... but none of it ever made any sense to me.

[mythology]

95. I don't have kids (and there was much rejoicing)

but I was told there was no Santa Claus, no Easter Bunny, no Tooth Fairy, I've never been trick or treating. I got presents, but mostly things like books. There may be a correlation between that and me having limited social skills, but at least I'm fairly well read.

[txwhitedove]

97. Haha, explain choice of name "Mythology"....

[tavernier]

98. WHAT?????

Well, that's just mean.



*goes back to tree decorating and polishing Santa's cookie plate*

[brooklynite]

99. No kids...

Saves on the cost of Christmas presents and the angst...

[laundry_queen]

101. I haven't yet

My parents never, ever told me Santa wasn't real. My brother and I figured it out for sure when we found all of the goodies meant for our stockings hidden behind the shower in the basement. I was disappointed, but not traumatized, in fact, I realized then *I* could become Santa too and spent lots of money that year creating stockings w/gifts for my parents and I left the stockings out for them on Christmas eve after they went to bed (and saw my stocking out, lol, I was sneaky like that).

My oldest is a teen and I'm sure she's figured it out. We've had lots of talks about the concept of Santa and the spirit of giving but I've never come right out and said there wasn't any Santa. I always say things like, "some people believe xyz, some believe abc. I think everyone should form their own beliefs and come to their own conclusions." To which she replied a few years ago when she was 10 - "Well, I CHOOSE to believe in Santa! Even if he's NOT real, his spirit IS."

The kids have already figured out about the tooth fairy, because I'm terrible at remembering to be one. The old, "are you sure the tooth fairy didn't come last night? Have you checked under your pillow? Oh maybe it fell behind the bed....let me check...oh, here it is! I found it! You must've missed it!" got old, fast. My 12 year old lost 4 teeth in 10 days and I only remembered once. Finally, the next week I remembered (in the middle of the night of course) and the next day I gave her a bunch of money with an apology from the tooth fairy. I'm sure the whole Santa thing will follow but because my youngest is 5, we'll try to keep it going a bit longer.

[Arcanetrance]

102. My parents never told me there was one

We were to broke and poor to afford gifts and they felt it best not to lie about one existing

[nolabels]

103. My mother still believes in Santa and she is 84

It's not what you think but more of how much you are willing to invest to believe

[SheilaT]

105. I think my oldest was 8 when I told him.

And I think he'd already figured it out a year or two before, but was humoring his parents. The only reason I even brought it up was because he had a brother four years younger, and the younger brother, a cynical child if there ever was, had already expressed some doubts.

Oh, and we NEVER said that the street corner Santas or the department store Santas were the real thing. Just as my mom always told us, we said they were regular adults who dressed up like that to help out the real Santa who was at the North Pole, etc. You get into real trouble if you try to get the kid to think all those Santas out there are the real thing.

But I find it hard to believe that a 9 year old these days could possibly still believe in Santa. Do they not ever socialize with other children? Kids love to give away that secret as soon as they learn it. My older sister told me as soon as she found out, so I was only about 5 when I learned that Santa was just pretend.

[jberryhill]

106. I must have been in my mid 30's at the time

[Lugnut]

107. I'm really not sure.

I think they eventually figured it out as they got older. I still put Santa on gift tags for family members. It's harmless fun just for the heck of it.

[6000eliot]

109. There's no sanity clause.

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[MichaelMcGuire]

110. Got to admit I'd keep it going as long as I can.

Kids tend to find out from their other peers.

[DFW]

111. We didn't have to

Our kids grew up in Germany, speaking German and with only German friends.

[zabet]

112. My kids

Figured it on their own around the 6 to 7 yr old range.

As far as it goes about parents lying to their kids and doing them irreparable psychological and/or emotional harm---I do not buy into that line of thought. So many people self-righteously say 'I don't lie to my kids about SC' when in their real day-to-day lives lie to their kids about a multitude of inane thiings....a lie is a lie ya know.

When I was a kid, from a rather large family......figuring it out was sort of a rite of passage for us as kids. We felt like we were in on a big adult secret that the 'little kids' didn't know about. All of my siblings and I took great joy in being able to help 'play santa' for the younger children once we were 'enlightened'. We were also taught that Christmas was about giving not receiving and that the monetary value of a gift was irrelevant, that what matters is the thought put into the gift that counts and is priceless.

[LWolf]

113. When they asked. nt

[JackRiddler]

118. We never used this myth with our child.

Last edited Tue Nov 27, 2012, 02:21 PM - Edit history (1)

[randome]

119. When they saw 'Bambi Meets Godzilla' at age 7.

One thing led to another...

[datasuspect]

120. i found out the hard way

when santa touched me in a way that made me feel dirty and ashamed.

back in the 70s, they'd just about hire any loafer, drunken sailor, or vagabond drifter to dress up as santa.

[sakabatou]

122. I remember back in 2nd grade maybe, to my friend

That Santa doesn't exist. She told me that he does and pointed to a star, saying, "No he does exist! Look, it's Rudolph!"

I replied, "No, that's Betelgeuse."

[patrice]

127. We never pretended that there was one. nt

[slampoet]

128. I had a probelm with the whole line of your post but I looked on Snopes and I guess you are right.

[abelenkpe]

129. My kids never believed in Santa Claus

I'm supposed to tell them if they "believe" they'll receive gifts? And when they stop believing those extra gifts will go away? How many kids do you know who pretended to believe just because they thought they'd get fewer gifts? How f'd up is it that we tell kids that some old stranger they don't know will be sneaking into the house to leave them something if they behave and believe in a magical mythical character?

Don't get me wrong we celebrate Christmas and my kids get plenty of gifts from people who know and love them. We do the tree, and celebrate with family and have a yummy feast but we skip the whole santa claus thing. And honestly they've never missed it.

[liberal_at_heart]

137. I always let them decide for themselves

When they would ask if he was real I would ask them "what do you think?" My son believed in the mythical Santa longer than my daughter because he is autistic but there did come a time when he came to me and said Santa was real(St. Nicholas) but is dead now. I think it is always good to take the lead from your children and that's especially true if your children are grown and have children of their own. It should be their decision how they handle what their children believe.

[B Calm]

142. I let my son learn on his own. Kids are smarter

than what you think!

[LannyDeVaney]

143. I've never told mine (15 and 12 this year)...

I've thought about it...and they obviously know.

But I've never admitted it. In fact, deep inside this 45 year old guy - I still believe. I may buy the presents, I may stay up late and set them out... heck, I still set out the cookies and milk. He DOES exist. Not physically, like a young child thinks - but he does exist. He is part of any parent's heart.

[upi402]

149. My kid figured it out at 5

Kindergarten teacher was pissed I said, "You're right".

[pnwmom]

150. I bet the 9 year old's just playing along,

afraid that the sleigh might stop coming if he or she admits to being in on the secret.

[Deep13]

152. A school teacher told me when I was in 1st grade. nt

[cynatnite]

153. Never told my kids one way or the other...they figured it out on their own. n/t

[LeftyMom]

155. I never told him there was one.

[union_maid]

159. Don't recall ever having that talk

With my first, I was all about being honest and I never told her there was one. She chose to believe anyway. At some point she just got the idea that there wasn't really one. It wasn't a huge deal. My son is almost 10 years younger. I was less dogmatic about things by then and went along with the Santa thing, which most of the family wanted to do. Turns out he was a natural born skeptic and never for one minute bought the idea. Didn't seem logical to him.

[left is right]

160. I neither encouraged or discouraged a belief in Santa Claus

I don’t recall if my girls never asked about him. I did read "The Night Before Christmas” to them and they sang songs in school about him. Christmases were modest at our home. The time for greedy consumption was Tax Return Day. Knowing it was coming, we made out wish lists and poured through catalogs just like other families did for Christmas

[mmonk]

161. Are you saying there is no Santa Claus?

[Zorra]

165. What?!? Nooo! Waaaaah!

[JoePhilly]

167. My kids told me when I was about 35.