Worst postcard ever... I'm invited to a pizza party w/ strangers to plan my funeral

[Model35mech]

I don't know what dumb undertaker's Gen X offspring thought this was a GREAT idea but I found it insensitive, crude and demeaning.

So much so that I am writing the Town Board, and the WI Department of Trade and Consumer Protection to complain. After all, they got my name and address from gov't records. And I strenuously Object to their exploitation of those records for this crap.

They think they will win my after-life bankroll, by offering a piece of luke warm pizza (of their choosing, no doubt with pineapple) in a conference room filled with strangers in a budget flea bag motel.

Damn.

If they can't do THIS business in person, perhaps one of the most emotional, personal, and in many ways intimate transactions I'll ever encounter, then they CANNOT have my business. If I wanted funeral planning, I think I could find someone to do it in a much more sensitive and personal way

This is so crass, I am not only insulted and demeaned by this assembly line treatment, but my confidence in the place has plunged to zero. If they think $1.50 piece of pizza is going to get me into a contract for $12k funeral, they are deranged and maybe even interested in selling my body parts on the black market.

[LisaM]

1. Well, that's weird.

People who solicit business that way likely DO put pineapple on pizza.

[Model35mech]

2. Yes, and probably with baco's

[jimfields33]

27. They have these all the time.

Typically an Italian or steakhouse though. It’s free and you should be prepared for your funeral.

[Arne]

3. I've heard the bodies are stacked up out back.

[getagrip_already]

4. Is this the trump funeral home?

Gold lamine caskets with golf course plots?

And they come with a special digital thank you gift!

Of course the casket is really just a very small urn for ashes and the golf course is a former putt putt arcade game off the new jersey turnpike. Oh, and you only get a one month lease on each.

[FSogol]

5. Sounds like a good opportunity. People are dying to get in on it!

[marble falls]

6. It's worse than you think. After my mother died, my dad had her buried under the "prepaid" package ...

... they bought for around $30,000 to be embalmed and placed into a wall. After she was sealed up a grinning undertaker gave him a bill for another $12,000 to $16,000 for "opening and resealing" my mother's crypt.

I have a prepaid burial, too. I'm going to be placed naked into a cotton bag after all my fillings have been removed and put into a hand dug hole with no markers or evidence of a burial $3,000. There will be one witness, my wife.

I'd donate parts, but after a 12 year fight with cancer I do not think I'd be a good candidate. I don't think a medical school needs a body with so many parts missing.


The funeral business is just another racket.

[Model35mech]

8. Here an interred person -must- be in a vault of some type...

Interring a body outside of an approved burial plot is unlawful.

Of course, not everyone ends up interred.

Many families/friends accept the ashes and then do with them as they wish.

[marble falls]

12. I'm going into a hole in a 'green' cemetery. If someone digs me up and uses me as fill sometime in the future ...

... I'm OK with it.

[Model35mech]

13. I don't have a problem with you getting what you want

But here there are still hygiene fears and laws intended to prevent grave-robbing.

[marble falls]

14. Crazy isn't it. They make a body 'safe' by filling it with formaldehyde ...

... "oh, but then we put the casket into a vault, it holds all leakage of chemicals." Except while they know how to drain a body and refill it, they understand so very little about hydraulics and how many vaults fill with ground water and overflow into the aquifer.

[Model35mech]

16. This is the sort of thing that happens when an industry lobbies

legislators and regulatory agency personnel who are 100% clueless about the things for which they write laws.

As ancient diseases emerge from the melting and eroding permafrost I expect fears of this sort to rise and rationality to diminish.

[Sky Jewels]

24. I joke with my husband that he should just put me in the compost bin when I croak.

I really don't care what happens to my body. Go as cheap and environmentally friendly as possible, is my thinking.

[marble falls]

25. That's my thought.

[delisen]

9. I like your plan.nt

[delisen]

7. Probably a Soylent Green front organization

I think this is the end result of Americans being seen and valued only as consumers or economic units and not as who we are: human beings living together in a society engaged in seeking individual happiness and promoting the common good.

When I read your post I was reminded of the Republican politician in Texas who was opposing Covid lockdown and told older people that they should be glad to die if it meant keeping a great economy going for their grandchildren.

[Hassin Bin Sober]

20. Lol.

[Doodley]

10. I would go, take friends, eat pizza, bring some to-go boxes, load them up, and leave

[Model35mech]

11. Eating pizza made by strangers, transported by strangers, set out by strangers

on folding tables with no sneeze shields, or temp control, seems like a quick path to being some undertaker's customer.

and that IS what the sponsor WANTS.

[Doodley]

15. Good point! Another option. Ask for pizza delivery instead!

[Model35mech]

18. Still puts strangers in the loop.

Since 2003 I've been to a restaurant once. That was because I bought my partner gift cards for a restaurant she wanted to experience. The meal cost $133 dollars before the tip.

I don't expect to die tomorrow, but I don't expect I'll ever sit in a restaurant again. I'm not a fan of eating out I do most of the preps of supper meals, and don't really mind doing that. My partner sees her meal preps as emerging from an exploitive expectation of her femininity... which is why I do most of our suppers

[Iggo]

28. I think all my pizzas are made and transported by strangers.

[Efilroft Sul]

17. Could've been worse, especially if the postcard asked what you wanted on your Tombstone.

[Conjuay]

19. I've gotten quite a few of them myself.

I'm holding out for an offer of bar-b-cue from a crematorium.
Seriously, I've gotten a few offers that were tied to rather up scale restaurants, you know they're going to be high pressure pitches.

[Lars39]

23. Reminds me that Nashville,

on Charlotte Ave has a crematorium right next to a BBQ place.
Crematorium was built first iirc

[anciano]

21. I have registered with an anatomical donor

organization. They take care of everything, cremate the remains after harvesting what parts can be used, and return the ashes to my family when completed. The only expense to my family will be certified copies of the death certificate for the accounts at the bank and whoever else may need them. It takes away all the hassle.

[keithbvadu2]

22. Undertaker: Do you have any final wishes for the ashes of your dear, departed husband?

Wife: I'm going to spread them on the porch steps when it gets icy.
Undertaker: I take it you won't be joining the bereavement group?

Old, old Wizard of Id cartoon.

[Think. Again.]

26. Let me guess...

Is it that frozen "Tombstone" brand pizza?

[Wonder Why]

29. It could be worse. They may expect the meal to be your last! They're not willing to wait if you refuse.

[JoseBalow]

30. How do you feel about telemarketers?